Tremendous Trifles

by

G. K. Chesterton

New York Dodd, Mead and Company 1910

Copyright, 1909, by Dodd, Mead and Company Published, October, 1909

Preface

These fleeting sketches are all republished by kind permission of the Editor of the DAILY NEWS, in which paper they appeared. They amount to no more than a sort of sporadic diary—a diary recording one day in twenty which happened to stick in the fancy— the only kind of diary the author has ever been able to keep. Even that diary he could only keep by keeping it in public, for bread and cheese. But trivial as are the topics they are not utterly without a connecting thread of motive. As the reader’s eye strays, with hearty relief, from these pages, it probably alights on something, a bed-post or a lamp-post, a window blind or a wall. It is a thousand to one that the reader is looking at something that he has never seen: that is, never realised. He could not write an essay on such a post or wall: he does not know what the post or wall mean. He could not even write the synopsis of an essay; as “The Bed-Post; Its Significance—Security Essential to Idea of SleepNight Felt as Infinite—Need of Monumental Architecture,” and so on. He could not sketch in outline his theoretic attitude towards window-blinds, even in the form of a summary. “The Window-Blind—Its Analogy to the Curtain and Veil—Is Modesty Natural?—Worship of and Avoidance of the Sun, etc., etc.” None of us think enough of these things on which the eye rests. But don’t let us let the eye rest. Why should the eye be so lazy? Let us exercise the eye until it learns to see startling facts that run across the landscape as plain as a painted fence. Let us be ocular athletes. Let us learn to write essays on a stray cat or a coloured cloud. I have attempted some such thing in what follows; but anyone else may do it better, if anyone else will only try.

Contents

Chapter I Tremendous Trifles II A Piece of Chalk III The Secret of a Train IV The Perfect Game V The Extraordinary Cabman VI An Accident VII The Advantages of Having One Leg VIII The End of the World IX In the Place de la Bastille X On Lying in Bed XI The Twelve Men XII The Wind and the Trees XIII The Dickensian XIV In Topsy-Turvy Land XV What I Found in My Pocket XVI The Dragon’s Grandmother XVII The Red Angel XVIII The Tower XIX How I Met the President XX The Giant XXI The Great Man XXII The Orthodox Barber XXIII The Toy Theatre XXIV A Tragedy of Twopence XXV A Cab Ride Across Country XXVI The Two Noises XXVII Some Policemen and a Moral XXVIII The Lion XXIX Humanity: An Interlude XXX The Little Birds Who Won’t Sing XXXI The Riddle of the Ivy XXXII The Travellers in State XXXIII The Prehistoric Railway Station XXXIV The Diabolist XXXV A Glimpse of My Country XXXVI A Somewhat Improbable Story XXXVII The Shop of Ghosts XXXVIII The Ballade of a Strange Town XXXIX The Mystery of a Pageant

I

Tremendous Trifles

Once upon a time there were two little boys who lived chiefly in the front garden, because their villa was a model one. The front garden was about the same size as the dinner table; it consisted of four strips of gravel, a square of turf with some mysterious pieces of cork standing up in the middle and one flower bed with a row of red daisies. One morning while they were at play in these romantic grounds, a passing individual, probably the milkman, leaned over the railing and engaged them in philosophical conversation. The boys, whom we will call Paul and Peter, were at least sharply interested in his remarks. For the milkman (who was, I need say, a fairy) did his duty in that state of life by offering them in the regulation manner anything that they chose to ask for. And Paul closed with the offer with a business-like abruptness, explaining that he had long wished to be a giant that he might stride across continents and oceans and visit Niagara or the Himalayas in an afternoon dinner stroll. The milkman producing a wand from his breast pocket, waved it in a hurried and perfunctory manner; and in an instant the model villa with its front garden was like a tiny doll’s house at Paul’s colossal feet. He went striding away with his head above the clouds to visit Niagara and the Himalayas. But when he came to the Himalayas, he found they were quite small and silly-looking, like the little cork rockery in the garden; and when he found Niagara it was no bigger than the tap turned on in the bathroom. He wandered round the world for several minutes trying to find something really large and finding everything small, till in sheer boredom he lay down on four or five prairies and fell asleep. Unfortunately his head was just outside the hut of an intellectual backwoodsman who came out of it at that moment with an axe in one hand and a book of Neo-Catholic Philosophy in the other. The man looked at the book and then at the giant, and then at the book again. And in the book it said, “It can be maintained that the evil of pride consists in being out of proportion to the universe.” So the backwoodsman put down his book, took his axe and, working eight hours a day for about a week, cut the giant’s head off; and there was an end of him.

Such is the severe yet salutary history of Paul. But Peter, oddly enough, made exactly the opposite request; he said he had long wished to be a pigmy about half an inch high; and of course he immediately became one. When the transformation was over he found himself in the midst of an immense plain, covered with a tall green jungle and above which, at intervals, rose strange trees each with a head like the sun in symbolic pictures, with gigantic rays of silver and a huge heart of gold. Toward the middle of this prairie stood up a mountain of such romantic and impossible shape, yet of such stony height and dominance, that it looked like some incident of the end of the world. And far away on the faint horizon he could see the line of another forest, taller and yet more mystical, of a terrible crimson colour, like a forest on fire for ever. He set out on his adventures across that coloured plain; and he has not come to the end of it yet.

Such is the story of Peter and Paul, which contains all the highest qualities of a modern fairy tale, including that of being wholly unfit for children; and indeed the motive with which I have introduced it is not childish, but rather full of subtlety and reaction. It is in fact the almost desperate motive of excusing or palliating the pages that follow. Peter and Paul are the two primary influences upon European literature to-day; and I may be permitted to put my own preference in its most favourable shape, even if I can only do it by what little girls call telling a story.

I need scarcely say that I am the pigmy. The only excuse for the scraps that follow is that they show what can be achieved with a commonplace existence and the sacred spectacles of exaggeration. The other great literary theory, that which is roughly represented in England by Mr. Rudyard Kipling, is that we moderns are to regain the primal zest by sprawling all over the world growing used to travel and geographical variety, being at home everywhere, that is being at home nowhere. Let it be granted that a man in a frock coat is a heartrending sight; and the two alternative methods still remain. Mr. Kipling’s school advises us to go to Central Africa in order to find a man without a frock coat. The school to which I belong suggests that we should stare steadily at the man until we see the man inside the frock coat. If we stare at him long enough he may even be moved to take off his coat to us; and that is a far greater compliment than his taking off his hat. In other words, we may, by fixing our attention almost fiercely on the facts actually before us, force them to turn into adventures; force them to give up their meaning and fulfil their mysterious purpose. The purpose of the Kipling literature is to show how many extraordinary things a man may see if he is active and strides from continent to continent like the giant in my tale. But the object of my school is to show how many extraordinary things even a lazy and ordinary man may see if he can spur himself to the single activity of seeing. For this purpose I have taken the laziest person of my acquaintance, that is myself; and made an idle diary of such odd things as I have fallen over by accident, in walking in a very limited area at a very indolent pace. If anyone says that these are very small affairs talked about in very big language, I can only gracefully compliment him upon seeing the joke. If anyone says that I am making mountains out of molehills, I confess with pride that it is so. I can imagine no more successful and productive form of manufacture than that of making mountains out of molehills. But I would add this not unimportant fact, that molehills are mountains; one has only to become a pigmy like Peter to discover that.

I have my doubts about all this real value in mountaineering, in getting to the top of everything and overlooking everything. Satan was the most celebrated of Alpine guides, when he took Jesus to the top of an exceeding high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the earth. But the joy of Satan in standing on a peak is not a joy in largeness, but a joy in beholding smallness, in the fact that all men look like insects at his feet. It is from the valley that things look large; it is from the level that things look high; I am a child of the level and have no need of that celebrated Alpine guide. I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help; but I will not lift up my carcass to the hills, unless it is absolutely necessary. Everything is in an attitude of mind; and at this moment I am in a comfortable attitude. I will sit still and let the marvels and the adventures settle on me like flies. There are plenty of them, I assure you. The world will never starve for want of wonders; but only for want of wonder.

II

A Piece of Chalk

I remember one splendid morning, all blue and silver, in the summer holidays when I reluctantly tore myself away from the task of doing nothing in particular, and put on a hat of some sort and picked up a walking-stick, and put six very bright-coloured chalks in my pocket. I then went into the kitchen (which, along with the rest of the house, belonged to a very square and sensible old woman in a Sussex village), and asked the owner and occupant of the kitchen if she had any brown paper. She had a great deal; in fact, she had too much; and she mistook the purpose and the rationale of the existence of brown paper. She seemed to have an idea that if a person wanted brown paper he must be wanting to tie up parcels; which was the last thing I wanted to do; indeed, it is a thing which I have found to be beyond my mental capacity. Hence she dwelt very much on the varying qualities of toughness and endurance in the material. I explained to her that I only wanted to draw pictures on it, and that I did not want them to endure in the least; and that from my point of view, therefore, it was a question, not of tough consistency, but of responsive surface, a thing comparatively irrelevant in a parcel. When she understood that I wanted to draw she offered to overwhelm me with note-paper, apparently supposing that I did my notes and correspondence on old brown paper wrappers from motives of economy.

I then tried to explain the rather delicate logical shade, that I not only liked brown paper, but liked the quality of brownness in paper, just as I liked the quality of brownness in October woods, or in beer, or in the peat-streams of the North. Brown paper represents the primal twilight of the first toil of creation, and with a bright-coloured chalk or two you can pick out points of fire in it, sparks of gold, and blood-red, and sea-green, like the first fierce stars that sprang out of divine darkness. All this I said (in an off-hand way) to the old woman; and I put the brown paper in my pocket along with the chalks, and possibly other things. I suppose every one must have reflected how primeval and how poetical are the things that one carries in one’s pocket; the pocket-knife, for instance, the type of all human tools, the infant of the sword. Once I planned to write a book of poems entirely about the things in my pockets. But I found it would be too long; and the age of the great epics is past.

… . .

With my stick and my knife, my chalks and my brown paper, I went out on to the great downs. I crawled across those colossal contours that express the best quality of England, because they are at the same time soft and strong. The smoothness of them has the same meaning as the smoothness of great cart-horses, or the smoothness of the beech-tree; it declares in the teeth of our timid and cruel theories that the mighty are merciful. As my eye swept the landscape, the landscape was as kindly as any of its cottages, but for power it was like an earthquake. The villages in the immense valley were safe, one could see, for centuries; yet the lifting of the whole land was like the lifting of one enormous wave to wash them all away.

I crossed one swell of living turf after another, looking for a place to sit down and draw. Do not, for heaven’s sake, imagine I was going to sketch from Nature. I was going to draw devils and seraphim, and blind old gods that men worshipped before the dawn of right, and saints in robes of angry crimson, and seas of strange green, and all the sacred or monstrous symbols that look so well in bright colours on brown paper. They are much better worth drawing than Nature; also they are much easier to draw. When a cow came slouching by in the field next to me, a mere artist might have drawn it; but I always get wrong in the hind legs of quadrupeds. So I drew the soul of the cow; which I saw there plainly walking before me in the sunlight; and the soul was all purple and silver, and had seven horns and the mystery that belongs to all the beasts. But though I could not with a crayon get the best out of the landscape, it does not follow that the landscape was not getting the best out of me. And this, I think, is the mistake that people make about the old poets who lived before Wordsworth, and were supposed not to care very much about Nature because they did not describe it much.

They preferred writing about great men to writing about great hills; but they sat on the great hills to write it. They gave out much less about Nature, but they drank in, perhaps, much more. They painted the white robes of their holy virgins with the blinding snow, at which they had stared all day. They blazoned the shields of their paladins with the purple and gold of many heraldic sunsets. The greenness of a thousand green leaves clustered into the live green figure of Robin Hood. The blueness of a score of forgotten skies became the blue robes of the Virgin. The inspiration went in like sunbeams and came out like Apollo.

… . .

But as I sat scrawling these silly figures on the brown paper, it began to dawn on me, to my great disgust, that I had left one chalk, and that a most exquisite and essential chalk, behind. I searched all my pockets, but I could not find any white chalk. Now, those who are acquainted with all the philosophy (nay, religion) which is typified in the art of drawing on brown paper, know that white is positive and essential. I cannot avoid remarking here upon a moral significance. One of the wise and awful truths which this brown-paper art reveals, is this, that white is a colour. It is not a mere absence of colour; it is a shining and affirmative thing, as fierce as red, as definite as black. When, so to speak, your pencil grows red-hot, it draws roses; when it grows white-hot, it draws stars. And one of the two or three defiant verities of the best religious morality, of real Christianity, for example, is exactly this same thing; the chief assertion of religious morality is that white is a colour. Virtue is not the absence of vices or the avoidance of moral dangers; virtue is a vivid and separate thing, like pain or a particular smell. Mercy does not mean not being cruel or sparing people revenge or punishment; it means a plain and positive thing like the sun, which one has either seen or not seen.

Chastity does not mean abstention from sexual wrong; it means something flaming, like Joan of Arc. In a word, God paints in many colours; but He never paints so gorgeously, I had almost said so gaudily, as when He paints in white. In a sense our age has realised this fact, and expressed it in our sullen costume. For if it were really true that white was a blank and colourless thing, negative and non-committal, then white would be used instead of black and grey for the funeral dress of this pessimistic period. We should see city gentlemen in frock coats of spotless silver linen, with top hats as white as wonderful arum lilies. Which is not the case.

Meanwhile, I could not find my chalk.

… . .

I sat on the hill in a sort of despair. There was no town nearer than Chichester at which it was even remotely probable that there would be such a thing as an artist’s colourman. And yet, without white, my absurd little pictures would be as pointless as the world would be if there were no good people in it. I stared stupidly round, racking my brain for expedients. Then I suddenly stood up and roared with laughter, again and again, so that the cows stared at me and called a committee. Imagine a man in the Sahara regretting that he had no sand for his hour-glass. Imagine a gentleman in mid-ocean wishing that he had brought some salt water with him for his chemical experiments. I was sitting on an immense warehouse of white chalk. The landscape was made entirely out of white chalk. White chalk was piled more miles until it met the sky. I stooped and broke a piece off the rock I sat on; it did not mark so well as the shop chalks do; but it gave the effect. And I stood there in a trance of pleasure, realising that this Southern England is not only a grand peninsula, and a tradition and a civilisation; it is something even more admirable. It is a piece of chalk.

III

The Secret of a Train

All this talk of a railway mystery has sent my mind back to a loose memory. I will not merely say that this story is true: because, as you will soon see, it is all truth and no story. It has no explanation and no conclusion; it is, like most of the other things we encounter in life, a fragment of something else which would be intensely exciting if it were not too large to be seen. For the perplexity of life arises from there being too many interesting things in it for us to be interested properly in any of them; what we call its triviality is really the tag-ends of numberless tales; ordinary and unmeaning existence is like ten thousand thrilling detective stories mixed up with a spoon. My experience was a fragment of this nature, and it is, at any rate, not fictitious. Not only am I not making up the incidents (what there were of them), but I am not making up the atmosphere of the landscape, which were the whole horror of the thing. I remember them vividly, and they were as I shall now describe.

… . .

About noon of an ashen autumn day some years ago I was standing outside the station at Oxford intending to take the train to London. And for some reason, out of idleness or the emptiness of my mind or the emptiness of the pale grey sky, or the cold, a kind of caprice fell upon me that I would not go by that train at all, but would step out on the road and walk at least some part of the way to London. I do not know if other people are made like me in this matter; but to me it is always dreary weather, what may be called useless weather, that slings into life a sense of action and romance. On bright blue days I do not want anything to happen; the world is complete and beautiful, a thing for contemplation. I no more ask for adventures under that turquoise dome than I ask for adventures in church. But when the background of man’s life is a grey background, then, in the name of man’s sacred supremacy, I desire to paint on it in fire and gore. When the heavens fail man refuses to fail; when the sky seems to have written on it, in letters of lead and pale silver, the decree that nothing shall happen, then the immortal soul, the prince of the creatures, rises up and decrees that something shall happen, if it be only the slaughter of a policeman. But this is a digressive way of stating what I have said already— that the bleak sky awoke in me a hunger for some change of plans, that the monotonous weather seemed to render unbearable the use of the monotonous train, and that I set out into the country lanes, out of the town of Oxford. It was, perhaps, at that moment that a strange curse came upon me out of the city and the sky, whereby it was decreed that years afterwards I should, in an article in the DAILY NEWS, talk about Sir George Trevelyan in connection with Oxford, when I knew perfectly well that he went to Cambridge.

As I crossed the country everything was ghostly and colourless. The fields that should have been green were as grey as the skies; the tree-tops that should have been green were as grey as the clouds and as cloudy. And when I had walked for some hours the evening was closing in. A sickly sunset clung weakly to the horizon, as if pale with reluctance to leave the world in the dark. And as it faded more and more the skies seemed to come closer and to threaten. The clouds which had been merely sullen became swollen; and then they loosened and let down the dark curtains of the rain. The rain was blinding and seemed to beat like blows from an enemy at close quarters; the skies seemed bending over and bawling in my ears. I walked on many more miles before I met a man, and in that distance my mind had been made up; and when I met him I asked him if anywhere in the neighbourhood I could pick up the train for Paddington. He directed me to a small silent station (I cannot even remember the name of it) which stood well away from the road and looked as lonely as a hut on the Andes. I do not think I have ever seen such a type of time and sadness and scepticism and everything devilish as that station was: it looked as if it had always been raining there ever since the creation of the world. The water streamed from the soaking wood of it as if it were not water at all, but some loathsome liquid corruption of the wood itself; as if the solid station were eternally falling to pieces and pouring away in filth. It took me nearly ten minutes to find a man in the station. When I did he was a dull one, and when I asked him if there was a train to Paddington his answer was sleepy and vague. As far as I understood him, he said there would be a train in half an hour. I sat down and lit a cigar and waited, watching the last tail of the tattered sunset and listening to the everlasting rain. It may have been in half an hour or less, but a train came rather slowly into the station. It was an unnaturally dark train; I could not see a light anywhere in the long black body of it; and I could not see any guard running beside it. I was reduced to walking up to the engine and calling out to the stoker to ask if the train was going to London. “Well—yes, sir,” he said, with an unaccountable kind of reluctance. “It is going to London; but----” It was just starting, and I jumped into the first carriage; it was pitch dark. I sat there smoking and wondering, as we steamed through the continually darkening landscape, lined with desolate poplars, until we slowed down and stopped, irrationally, in the middle of a field. I heard a heavy noise as of some one clambering off the train, and a dark, ragged head suddenly put itself into my window. “Excuse me, sir,” said the stoker, “but I think, perhaps—well, perhaps you ought to know—there’s a dead man in this train.”

… . .

Had I been a true artist, a person of exquisite susceptibilities and nothing else, I should have been bound, no doubt, to be finally overwhelmed with this sensational touch, and to have insisted on getting out and walking. As it was, I regret to say, I expressed myself politely, but firmly, to the effect that I didn’t care particularly if the train took me to Paddington. But when the train had started with its unknown burden I did do one thing, and do it quite instinctively, without stopping to think, or to think more than a flash. I threw away my cigar. Something that is as old as man and has to do with all mourning and ceremonial told me to do it. There was something unnecessarily horrible, it seemed to me, in the idea of there being only two men in that train, and one of them dead and the other smoking a cigar. And as the red and gold of the butt end of it faded like a funeral torch trampled out at some symbolic moment of a procession, I realised how immortal ritual is. I realised (what is the origin and essence of all ritual) that in the presence of those sacred riddles about which we can say nothing it is more decent merely to do something. And I realised that ritual will always mean throwing away something; DESTROYING our corn or wine upon the altar of our gods.

When the train panted at last into Paddington Station I sprang out of it with a suddenly released curiosity. There was a barrier and officials guarding the rear part of the train; no one was allowed to press towards it. They were guarding and hiding something; perhaps death in some too shocking form, perhaps something like the Merstham matter, so mixed up with human mystery and wickedness that the land has to give it a sort of sanctity; perhaps something worse than either. I went out gladly enough into the streets and saw the lamps shining on the laughing faces. Nor have I ever known from that day to this into what strange story I wandered or what frightful thing was my companion in the dark.

IV

THE PERFECT GAME

We have all met the man who says that some odd things have happened to him, but that he does not really believe that they were supernatural. My own position is the opposite of this. I believe in the supernatural as a matter of intellect and reason, not as a matter of personal experience. I do not see ghosts; I only see their inherent probability. But it is entirely a matter of the mere intelligence, not even of the motions; my nerves and body are altogether of this earth, very earthy. But upon people of this temperament one weird incident will often leave a peculiar impression. And the weirdest circumstance that ever occurred to me occurred a little while ago. It consisted in nothing less than my playing a game, and playing it quite well for some seventeen consecutive minutes. The ghost of my grandfather would have astonished me less.

On one of these blue and burning afternoons I found myself, to my inexpressible astonishment, playing a game called croquet. I had imagined that it belonged to the epoch of Leach and Anthony Trollope, and I had neglected to provide myself with those very long and luxuriant side whiskers which are really essential to such a scene. I played it with a man whom we will call Parkinson, and with whom I had a semi-philosophical argument which lasted through the entire contest. It is deeply implanted in my mind that I had the best of the argument; but it is certain and beyond dispute that I had the worst of the game.

“Oh, Parkinson, Parkinson!” I cried, patting him affectionately on the head with a mallet, “how far you really are from the pure love of the sport—you who can play. It is only we who play badly who love the Game itself. You love glory; you love applause; you love the earthquake voice of victory; you do not love croquet. You do not love croquet until you love being beaten at croquet. It is we the bunglers who adore the occupation in the abstract. It is we to whom it is art for art’s sake. If we may see the face of Croquet herself (if I may so express myself) we are content to see her face turned upon us in anger. Our play is called amateurish; and we wear proudly the name of amateur, for amateurs is but the French for Lovers. We accept all adventures from our Lady, the most disastrous or the most dreary. We wait outside her iron gates (I allude to the hoops), vainly essaying to enter. Our devoted balls, impetuous and full of chivalry, will not be confined within the pedantic boundaries of the mere croquet ground. Our balls seek honour in the ends of the earth; they turn up in the flower-beds and the conservatory; they are to be found in the front garden and the next street. No, Parkinson! The good painter has skill. It is the bad painter who loves his art. The good musician loves being a musician, the bad musician loves music. With such a pure and hopeless passion do I worship croquet. I love the game itself. I love the parallelogram of grass marked out with chalk or tape, as if its limits were the frontiers of my sacred Fatherland, the four seas of Britain. I love the mere swing of the mallets, and the click of the balls is music. The four colours are to me sacramental and symbolic, like the red of martyrdom, or the white of Easter Day. You lose all this, my poor Parkinson. You have to solace yourself for the absence of this vision by the paltry consolation of being able to go through hoops and to hit the stick.”

And I waved my mallet in the air with a graceful gaiety.

“Don’t be too sorry for me,” said Parkinson, with his simple sarcasm. “I shall get over it in time. But it seems to me that the more a man likes a game the better he would want to play it. Granted that the pleasure in the thing itself comes first, does not the pleasure of success come naturally and inevitably afterwards? Or, take your own simile of the Knight and his Lady-love. I admit the gentleman does first and foremost want to be in the lady’s presence. But I never yet heard of a gentleman who wanted to look an utter ass when he was there.”

“Perhaps not; though he generally looks it,” I replied. “But the truth is that there is a fallacy in the simile, although it was my own. The happiness at which the lover is aiming is an infinite happiness, which can be extended without limit. The more he is loved, normally speaking, the jollier he will be. It is definitely true that the stronger the love of both lovers, the stronger will be the happiness. But it is not true that the stronger the play of both croquet players the stronger will be the game. It is logically possible—(follow me closely here, Parkinson!)— it is logically possible, to play croquet too well to enjoy it at all. If you could put this blue ball through that distant hoop as easily as you could pick it up with your hand, then you would not put it through that hoop any more than you pick it up with your hand; it would not be worth doing. If you could play unerringly you would not play at all. The moment the game is perfect the game disappears.”

“I do not think, however,” said Parkinson, “that you are in any immediate danger of effecting that sort of destruction. I do not think your croquet will vanish through its own faultless excellence. You are safe for the present.”

I again caressed him with the mallet, knocked a ball about, wired myself, and resumed the thread of my discourse.

The long, warm evening had been gradually closing in, and by this time it was almost twilight. By the time I had delivered four more fundamental principles, and my companion had gone through five more hoops, the dusk was verging upon dark.

“We shall have to give this up,” said Parkinson, as he missed a ball almost for the first time, “I can’t see a thing.”

“Nor can I,” I answered, “and it is a comfort to reflect that I could not hit anything if I saw it.”

With that I struck a ball smartly, and sent it away into the darkness towards where the shadowy figure of Parkinson moved in the hot haze. Parkinson immediately uttered a loud and dramatic cry. The situation, indeed, called for it. I had hit the right ball.

Stunned with astonishment, I crossed the gloomy ground, and hit my ball again. It went through a hoop. I could not see the hoop; but it was the right hoop. I shuddered from head to foot.

Words were wholly inadequate, so I slouched heavily after that impossible ball. Again I hit it away into the night, in what I supposed was the vague direction of the quite invisible stick. And in the dead silence I heard the stick rattle as the ball struck it heavily.

I threw down my mallet. “I can’t stand this,” I said. “My ball has gone right three times. These things are not of this world.”

“Pick your mallet up,” said Parkinson, “have another go.”

“I tell you I daren’t. If I made another hoop like that I should see all the devils dancing there on the blessed grass.”

“Why devils?” asked Parkinson; “they may be only fairies making fun of you. They are sending you the ‘Perfect Game,’ which is no game.”

I looked about me. The garden was full of a burning darkness, in which the faint glimmers had the look of fire. I stepped across the grass as if it burnt me, picked up the mallet, and hit the ball somewhere—somewhere where another ball might be. I heard the dull click of the balls touching, and ran into the house like one pursued.

V

The Extraordinary Cabman

From time to time I have introduced into this newspaper column the narration of incidents that have really occurred. I do not mean to insinuate that in this respect it stands alone among newspaper columns. I mean only that I have found that my meaning was better expressed by some practical parable out of daily life than by any other method; therefore I propose to narrate the incident of the extraordinary cabman, which occurred to me only three days ago, and which, slight as it apparently is, aroused in me a moment of genuine emotion bordering upon despair.

On the day that I met the strange cabman I had been lunching in a little restaurant in Soho in company with three or four of my best friends. My best friends are all either bottomless sceptics or quite uncontrollable believers, so our discussion at luncheon turned upon the most ultimate and terrible ideas. And the whole argument worked out ultimately to this: that the question is whether a man can be certain of anything at all. I think he can be certain, for if (as I said to my friend, furiously brandishing an empty bottle) it is impossible intellectually to entertain certainty, what is this certainty which it is impossible to entertain? If I have never experienced such a thing as certainty I cannot even say that a thing is not certain. Similarly, if I have never experienced such a thing as green I cannot even say that my nose is not green. It may be as green as possible for all I know, if I have really no experience of greenness. So we shouted at each other and shook the room; because metaphysics is the only thoroughly emotional thing. And the difference between us was very deep, because it was a difference as to the object of the whole thing called broad-mindedness or the opening of the intellect. For my friend said that he opened his intellect as the sun opens the fans of a palm tree, opening for opening’s sake, opening infinitely for ever. But I said that I opened my intellect as I opened my mouth, in order to shut it again on something solid. I was doing it at the moment. And as I truly pointed out, it would look uncommonly silly if I went on opening my mouth infinitely, for ever and ever.

… . .

Now when this argument was over, or at least when it was cut short (for it will never be over), I went away with one of my companions, who in the confusion and comparative insanity of a General Election had somehow become a member of Parliament, and I drove with him in a cab from the corner of Leicester-square to the members’ entrance of the House of Commons, where the police received me with a quite unusual tolerance. Whether they thought that he was my keeper or that I was his keeper is a discussion between us which still continues.

It is necessary in this narrative to preserve the utmost exactitude of detail. After leaving my friend at the House I took the cab on a few hundred yards to an office in Victoria-street which I had to visit. I then got out and offered him more than his fare. He looked at it, but not with the surly doubt and general disposition to try it on which is not unknown among normal cabmen. But this was no normal, perhaps, no human, cabman. He looked at it with a dull and infantile astonishment, clearly quite genuine. “Do you know, sir,” he said, “you’ve only given me 1s.8d?” I remarked, with some surprise, that I did know it. “Now you know, sir,” said he in a kindly, appealing, reasonable way, “you know that ain’t the fare from Euston.” “Euston,” I repeated vaguely, for the phrase at that moment sounded to me like China or Arabia. “What on earth has Euston got to do with it?” “You hailed me just outside Euston Station,” began the man with astonishing precision, “and then you said----” “What in the name of Tartarus are you talking about?” I said with Christian forbearance; “I took you at the south-west corner of Leicester-square.” “Leicester-square,” he exclaimed, loosening a kind of cataract of scorn, “why we ain’t been near Leicester-square to-day. You hailed me outside Euston Station, and you said----” “Are you mad, or am I?” I asked with scientific calm.

I looked at the man. No ordinary dishonest cabman would think of creating so solid and colossal and creative a lie. And this man was not a dishonest cabman. If ever a human face was heavy and simple and humble, and with great big blue eyes protruding like a frog’s, if ever (in short) a human face was all that a human face should be, it was the face of that resentful and respectful cabman. I looked up and down the street; an unusually dark twilight seemed to be coming on. And for one second the old nightmare of the sceptic put its finger on my nerve. What was certainty? Was anybody certain of anything? Heavens! to think of the dull rut of the sceptics who go on asking whether we possess a future life. The exciting question for real scepticism is whether we possess a past life. What is a minute ago, rationalistically considered, except a tradition and a picture? The darkness grew deeper from the road. The cabman calmly gave me the most elaborate details of the gesture, the words, the complex but consistent course of action which I had adopted since that remarkable occasion when I had hailed him outside Euston Station. How did I know (my sceptical friends would say) that I had not hailed him outside Euston. I was firm about my assertion; he was quite equally firm about his. He was obviously quite as honest a man as I, and a member of a much more respectable profession. In that moment the universe and the stars swung just a hair’s breadth from their balance, and the foundations of the earth were moved. But for the same reason that I believe in Democracy, for the same reason that I believe in free will, for the same reason that I believe in fixed character of virtue, the reason that could only be expressed by saying that I do not choose to be a lunatic, I continued to believe that this honest cabman was wrong, and I repeated to him that I had really taken him at the corner of Leicester-square. He began with the same evident and ponderous sincerity, “You hailed me outside Euston Station, and you said----”

And at this moment there came over his features a kind of frightful transfiguration of living astonishment, as if he had been lit up like a lamp from the inside. “Why, I beg your pardon, sir,” he said. “I beg your pardon. I beg your pardon. You took me from Leicester-square. I remember now. I beg your pardon.” And with that this astonishing man let out his whip with a sharp crack at his horse and went trundling away. The whole of which interview, before the banner of St. George I swear, is strictly true.

… . .

I looked at the strange cabman as he lessened in the distance and the mists. I do not know whether I was right in fancying that although his face had seemed so honest there was something unearthly and demoniac about him when seen from behind. Perhaps he had been sent to tempt me from my adherence to those sanities and certainties which I had defended earlier in the day. In any case it gave me pleasure to remember that my sense of reality, though it had rocked for an instant, had remained erect.

VI

An Accident

Some time ago I wrote in these columns an article called “The Extraordinary Cabman.” I am now in a position to contribute my experience of a still more extraordinary cab. The extraordinary thing about the cab was that it did not like me; it threw me out violently in the middle of the Strand. If my friends who read the DAILY NEWS are as romantic (and as rich) as I take them to be, I presume that this experience is not uncommon. I suppose that they are all being thrown out of cabs, all over London. Still, as there are some people, virginal and remote from the world, who have not yet had this luxurious experience, I will give a short account of the psychology of myself when my hansom cab ran into the side of a motor omnibus, and I hope hurt it.

I do not need to dwell on the essential romance of the hansom cab— that one really noble modern thing which our age, when it is judged, will gravely put beside the Parthenon. It is really modern in that it is both secret and swift. My particular hansom cab was modern in these two respects; it was also very modern in the fact that it came to grief. But it is also English; it is not to be found abroad; it belongs to a beautiful, romantic country where nearly everybody is pretending to be richer than they are, and acting as if they were. It is comfortable, and yet it is reckless; and that combination is the very soul of England. But although I had always realised all these good qualities in a hansom cab, I had not experienced all the possibilities, or, as the moderns put it, all the aspects of that vehicle. My enunciation of the merits of a hansom cab had been always made when it was the right way up. Let me, therefore, explain how I felt when I fell out of a hansom cab for the first and, I am happy to believe, the last time. Polycrates threw one ring into the sea to propitiate the Fates. I have thrown one hansom cab into the sea (if you will excuse a rather violent metaphor) and the Fates are, I am quite sure, propitiated. Though I am told they do not like to be told so.

I was driving yesterday afternoon in a hansom cab down one of the sloping streets into the Strand, reading one of my own admirable articles with continual pleasure, and still more continual surprise, when the horse fell forward, scrambled a moment on the scraping stones, staggered to his feet again, and went forward. The horses in my cabs often do this, and I have learnt to enjoy my own articles at any angle of the vehicle. So I did not see anything at all odd about the way the horse went on again. But I saw it suddenly in the faces of all the people on the pavement. They were all turned towards me, and they were all struck with fear suddenly, as with a white flame out of the sky. And one man half ran out into the road with a movement of the elbow as if warding off a blow, and tried to stop the horse. Then I knew that the reins were lost, and the next moment the horse was like a living thunder-bolt. I try to describe things exactly as they seemed to me; many details I may have missed or mis-stated; many details may have, so to speak, gone mad in the race down the road. I remember that I once called one of my experiences narrated in this paper “A Fragment of Fact.” This is, at any rate, a fragment of fact. No fact could possibly be more fragmentary than the sort of fact that I expected to be at the bottom of that street.

… . .

I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion. Thus I have always urged in this paper that democracy has a deeper meaning than democrats understand; that is, that common and popular things, proverbs, and ordinary sayings always have something in them unrealised by most who repeat them. Here is one. We have all heard about the man who is in momentary danger, and who sees the whole of his life pass before him in a moment. In the cold, literal, and common sense of words, this is obviously a thundering lie. Nobody can pretend that in an accident or a mortal crisis he elaborately remembered all the tickets he had ever taken to Wimbledon, or all the times that he had ever passed the brown bread and butter.

But in those few moments, while my cab was tearing towards the traffic of the Strand, I discovered that there is a truth behind this phrase, as there is behind all popular phrases. I did really have, in that short and shrieking period, a rapid succession of a number of fundamental points of view. I had, so to speak, about five religions in almost as many seconds. My first religion was pure Paganism, which among sincere men is more shortly described as extreme fear. Then there succeeded a state of mind which is quite real, but for which no proper name has ever been found. The ancients called it Stoicism, and I think it must be what some German lunatics mean (if they mean anything) when they talk about Pessimism. It was an empty and open acceptance of the thing that happens— as if one had got beyond the value of it. And then, curiously enough, came a very strong contrary feeling—that things mattered very much indeed, and yet that they were something more than tragic. It was a feeling, not that life was unimportant, but that life was much too important ever to be anything but life. I hope that this was Christianity. At any rate, it occurred at the moment when we went crash into the omnibus.

It seemed to me that the hansom cab simply turned over on top of me, like an enormous hood or hat. I then found myself crawling out from underneath it in attitudes so undignified that they must have added enormously to that great cause to which the Anti-Puritan League and I have recently dedicated ourselves. I mean the cause of the pleasures of the people. As to my demeanour when I emerged, I have two confessions to make, and they are both made merely in the interests of mental science. The first is that whereas I had been in a quite pious frame of mind the moment before the collision, when I got to my feet and found I had got off with a cut or two I began (like St. Peter) to curse and to swear. A man offered me a newspaper or something that I had dropped. I can distinctly remember consigning the paper to a state of irremediable spiritual ruin. I am very sorry for this now, and I apologise both to the man and to the paper. I have not the least idea what was the meaning of this unnatural anger; I mention it as a psychological confession. It was immediately followed by extreme hilarity, and I made so many silly jokes to the policeman that he disgraced himself by continual laughter before all the little boys in the street, who had hitherto taken him seriously.

… . .

There is one other odd thing about the matter which I also mention as a curiosity of the human brain or deficiency of brain. At intervals of about every three minutes I kept on reminding the policeman that I had not paid the cabman, and that I hoped he would not lose his money. He said it would be all right, and the man would appear. But it was not until about half an hour afterwards that it suddenly struck me with a shock intolerable that the man might conceivably have lost more than half a crown; that he had been in danger as well as I. I had instinctively regarded the cabman as something uplifted above accidents, a god. I immediately made inquiries, and I am happy to say that they seemed to have been unnecessary.

But henceforward I shall always understand with a darker and more delicate charity those who take tythe of mint, and anise, and cumin, and neglect the weightier matters of the law; I shall remember how I was once really tortured with owing half a crown to a man who might have been dead. Some admirable men in white coats at the Charing Cross Hospital tied up my small injury, and I went out again into the Strand. I felt upon me even a kind of unnatural youth; I hungered for something untried. So to open a new chapter in my life I got into a hansom cab.

VII

The Advantages of Having One Leg

A friend of mine who was visiting a poor woman in bereavement and casting about for some phrase of consolation that should not be either insolent or weak, said at last, “I think one can live through these great sorrows and even be the better. What wears one is the little worries.” “That’s quite right, mum,” answered the old woman with emphasis, “and I ought to know, seeing I’ve had ten of ‘em.” It is, perhaps, in this sense that it is most true that little worries are most wearing. In its vaguer significance the phrase, though it contains a truth, contains also some possibilities of self-deception and error. People who have both small troubles and big ones have the right to say that they find the small ones the most bitter; and it is undoubtedly true that the back which is bowed under loads incredible can feel a faint addition to those loads; a giant holding up the earth and all its animal creation might still find the grasshopper a burden. But I am afraid that the maxim that the smallest worries are the worst is sometimes used or abused by people, because they have nothing but the very smallest worries. The lady may excuse herself for reviling the crumpled rose leaf by reflecting with what extraordinary dignity she would wear the crown of thorns—if she had to. The gentleman may permit himself to curse the dinner and tell himself that he would behave much better if it were a mere matter of starvation. We need not deny that the grasshopper on man’s shoulder is a burden; but we need not pay much respect to the gentleman who is always calling out that he would rather have an elephant when he knows there are no elephants in the country. We may concede that a straw may break the camel’s back, but we like to know that it really is the last straw and not the first.

I grant that those who have serious wrongs have a real right to grumble, so long as they grumble about something else. It is a singular fact that if they are sane they almost always do grumble about something else. To talk quite reasonably about your own quite real wrongs is the quickest way to go off your head. But people with great troubles talk about little ones, and the man who complains of the crumpled rose leaf very often has his flesh full of the thorns. But if a man has commonly a very clear and happy daily life then I think we are justified in asking that he shall not make mountains out of molehills. I do no deny that molehills can sometimes be important. Small annoyances have this evil about them, that they can be more abrupt because they are more invisible; they cast no shadow before, they have no atmosphere. No one ever had a mystical premonition that he was going to tumble over a hassock. William III. died by falling over a molehill; I do not suppose that with all his varied abilities he could have managed to fall over a mountain. But when all this is allowed for, I repeat that we may ask a happy man (not William III.) to put up with pure inconveniences, and even make them part of his happiness. Of positive pain or positive poverty I do not here speak. I speak of those innumerable accidental limitations that are always falling across our path—bad weather, confinement to this or that house or room, failure of appointments or arrangements, waiting at railway stations, missing posts, finding unpunctuality when we want punctuality, or, what is worse, finding punctuality when we don’t. It is of the poetic pleasures to be drawn from all these that I sing—I sing with confidence because I have recently been experimenting in the poetic pleasures which arise from having to sit in one chair with a sprained foot, with the only alternative course of standing on one leg like a stork— a stork is a poetic simile; therefore I eagerly adopted it.

To appreciate anything we must always isolate it, even if the thing itself symbolise something other than isolation. If we wish to see what a house is it must be a house in some uninhabited landscape. If we wish to depict what a man really is we must depict a man alone in a desert or on a dark sea sand. So long as he is a single figure he means all that humanity means; so long as he is solitary he means human society; so long as he is solitary he means sociability and comradeship. Add another figure and the picture is less human—not more so. One is company, two is none. If you wish to symbolise human building draw one dark tower on the horizon; if you wish to symbolise light let there be no star in the sky. Indeed, all through that strangely lit season which we call our day there is but one star in the sky—a large, fierce star which we call the sun. One sun is splendid; six suns would be only vulgar. One Tower Of Giotto is sublime; a row of Towers of Giotto would be only like a row of white posts. The poetry of art is in beholding the single tower; the poetry of nature in seeing the single tree; the poetry of love in following the single woman; the poetry of religion in worshipping the single star. And so, in the same pensive lucidity, I find the poetry of all human anatomy in standing on a single leg. To express complete and perfect leggishness the leg must stand in sublime isolation, like the tower in the wilderness. As Ibsen so finely says, the strongest leg is that which stands most alone.

This lonely leg on which I rest has all the simplicity of some Doric column. The students of architecture tell us that the only legitimate use of a column is to support weight. This column of mine fulfils its legitimate function. It supports weight. Being of an animal and organic consistency, it may even improve by the process, and during these few days that I am thus unequally balanced, the helplessness or dislocation of the one leg may find compensation in the astonishing strength and classic beauty of the other leg. Mrs. Mountstuart Jenkinson in Mr. George Meredith’s novel might pass by at any moment, and seeing me in the stork-like attitude would exclaim, with equal admiration and a more literal exactitude, “He has a leg.” Notice how this famous literary phrase supports my contention touching this isolation of any admirable thing. Mrs. Mountstuart Jenkinson, wishing to make a clear and perfect picture of human grace, said that Sir Willoughby Patterne had a leg. She delicately glossed over and concealed the clumsy and offensive fact that he had really two legs. Two legs were superfluous and irrelevant, a reflection, and a confusion. Two legs would have confused Mrs. Mountstuart Jenkinson like two Monuments in London. That having had one good leg he should have another— this would be to use vain repetitions as the Gentiles do. She would have been as much bewildered by him as if he had been a centipede.

All pessimism has a secret optimism for its object. All surrender of life, all denial of pleasure, all darkness, all austerity, all desolation has for its real aim this separation of something so that it may be poignantly and perfectly enjoyed. I feel grateful for the slight sprain which has introduced this mysterious and fascinating division between one of my feet and the other. The way to love anything is to realise that it might be lost. In one of my feet I can feel how strong and splendid a foot is; in the other I can realise how very much otherwise it might have been. The moral of the thing is wholly exhilarating. This world and all our powers in it are far more awful and beautiful than even we know until some accident reminds us. If you wish to perceive that limitless felicity, limit yourself if only for a moment. If you wish to realise how fearfully and wonderfully God’s image is made, stand on one leg. If you want to realise the splendid vision of all visible things— wink the other eye.

VIII

The End of the World

For some time I had been wandering in quiet streets in the curious town of Besançon, which stands like a sort of peninsula in a horse-shoe of river. You may learn from the guide books that it was the birthplace of Victor Hugo, and that it is a military station with many forts, near the French frontier. But you will not learn from guide books that the very tiles on the roofs seem to be of some quainter and more delicate colour than the tiles of all the other towns of the world; that the tiles look like the little clouds of some strange sunset, or like the lustrous scales of some strange fish. They will not tell you that in this town the eye cannot rest on anything without finding it in some way attractive and even elvish, a carved face at a street corner, a gleam of green fields through a stunted arch, or some unexpected colour for the enamel of a spire or dome.

… . .

Evening was coming on and in the light of it all these colours so simple and yet so subtle seemed more and more to fit together and make a fairy tale. I sat down for a little outside a café with a row of little toy trees in front of it, and presently the driver of a fly (as we should call it) came to the same place. He was one of those very large and dark Frenchmen, a type not common but yet typical of France; the Rabelaisian Frenchman, huge, swarthy, purple-faced, a walking wine-barrel; he was a sort of Southern Falstaff, if one can imagine Falstaff anything but English. And, indeed, there was a vital difference, typical of two nations. For while Falstaff would have been shaking with hilarity like a huge jelly, full of the broad farce of the London streets, this Frenchman was rather solemn and dignified than otherwise— as if pleasure were a kind of pagan religion. After some talk which was full of the admirable civility and equality of French civilisation, he suggested without either eagerness or embarrassment that he should take me in his fly for an hour’s ride in the hills beyond the town. And though it was growing late I consented; for there was one long white road under an archway and round a hill that dragged me like a long white cord. We drove through the strong, squat gateway that was made by Romans, and I remember the coincidence like a sort of omen that as we passed out of the city I heard simultaneously the three sounds which are the trinity of France. They make what some poet calls “a tangled trinity,” and I am not going to disentangle it. Whatever those three things mean, how or why they co-exist; whether they can be reconciled or perhaps are reconciled already; the three sounds I heard then by an accident all at once make up the French mystery. For the brass band in the Casino gardens behind me was playing with a sort of passionate levity some ramping tune from a Parisian comic opera, and while this was going on I heard also the bugles on the hills above, that told of terrible loyalties and men always arming in the gate of France; and I heard also, fainter than these sounds and through them all, the Angelus.

… . .

After this coincidence of symbols I had a curious sense of having left France behind me, or, perhaps, even the civilised world. And, indeed, there was something in the landscape wild enough to encourage such a fancy. I have seen perhaps higher mountains, but I have never seen higher rocks; I have never seen height so near, so abrupt and sensational, splinters of rock that stood up like the spires of churches, cliffs that fell sudden and straight as Satan fell from heaven. There was also a quality in the ride which was not only astonishing, but rather bewildering; a quality which many must have noticed if they have driven or ridden rapidly up mountain roads. I mean a sense of gigantic gyration, as of the whole earth turning about one’s head. It is quite inadequate to say that the hills rose and fell like enormous waves. Rather the hills seemed to turn about me like the enormous sails of a windmill, a vast wheel of monstrous archangelic wings. As we drove on and up into the gathering purple of the sunset this dizziness increased, confounding things above with things below. Wide walls of wooded rock stood out above my head like a roof. I stared at them until I fancied that I was staring down at a wooded plain. Below me steeps of green swept down to the river. I stared at them until I fancied that they swept up to the sky. The purple darkened, night drew nearer; it seemed only to cut clearer the chasms and draw higher the spires of that nightmare landscape. Above me in the twilight was the huge black hulk of the driver, and his broad, blank back was as mysterious as the back of Death in Watts’ picture. I felt that I was growing too fantastic, and I sought to speak of ordinary things. I called out to the driver in French, “Where are you taking me?” and it is a literal and solemn fact that he answered me in the same language without turning around, “To the end of the world.”

I did not answer. I let him drag the vehicle up dark, steep ways, until I saw lights under a low roof of little trees and two children, one oddly beautiful, playing at ball. Then we found ourselves filling up the strict main street of a tiny hamlet, and across the wall of its inn was written in large letters, LE BOUT DU MONDE—the end of the world.

The driver and I sat down outside that inn without a word, as if all ceremonies were natural and understood in that ultimate place. I ordered bread for both of us, and red wine, that was good but had no name. On the other side of the road was a little plain church with a cross on top of it and a cock on top of the cross. This seemed to me a very good end of the world; if the story of the world ended here it ended well. Then I wondered whether I myself should really be content to end here, where most certainly there were the best things of Christendom—a church and children’s games and decent soil and a tavern for men to talk with men. But as I thought a singular doubt and desire grew slowly in me, and at last I started up.

“Are you not satisfied?” asked my companion. “No,” I said, “I am not satisfied even at the end of the world.”

Then, after a silence, I said, “Because you see there are two ends of the world. And this is the wrong end of the world; at least the wrong one for me. This is the French end of the world. I want the other end of the world. Drive me to the other end of the world.”

“The other end of the world?” he asked. “Where is that?”

“It is in Walham Green,” I whispered hoarsely. “You see it on the London omnibuses. ‘World’s End and Walham Green.’ Oh, I know how good this is; I love your vineyards and your free peasantry, but I want the English end of the world. I love you like a brother, but I want an English cabman, who will be funny and ask me what his fare ‘is.’ Your bugles stir my blood, but I want to see a London policeman. Take, oh, take me to see a London policeman.”

He stood quite dark and still against the end of the sunset, and I could not tell whether he understood or not. I got back into his carriage.

“You will understand,” I said, “if ever you are an exile even for pleasure. The child to his mother, the man to his country, as a countryman of yours once said. But since, perhaps, it is rather too long a drive to the English end of the world, we may as well drive back to Besançon.”

Only as the stars came out among those immortal hills I wept for Walham Green.

IX

In the Place de La Bastille

On the first of May I was sitting outside a café in the Place de la Bastille in Paris staring at the exultant column, crowned with a capering figure, which stands in the place where the people destroyed a prison and ended an age. The thing is a curious example of how symbolic is the great part of human history. As a matter of mere material fact, the Bastille when it was taken was not a horrible prison; it was hardly a prison at all. But it was a symbol, and the people always go by a sure instinct for symbols; for the Chinaman, for instance, at the last General Election, or for President Kruger’s hat in the election before; their poetic sense is perfect. The Chinaman with his pigtail is not an idle flippancy. He does typify with a compact precision exactly the thing the people resent in African policy, the alien and grotesque nature of the power of wealth, the fact that money has no roots, that it is not a natural and familiar power, but a sort of airy and evil magic calling monsters from the ends of the earth. The people hate the mine owner who can bring a Chinaman flying across the sea, exactly as the people hated the wizard who could fetch a flying dragon through the air. It was the same with Mr. Kruger’s hat. His hat (that admirable hat) was not merely a joke. It did symbolise, and symbolise extremely well, the exact thing which our people at that moment regarded with impatience and venom; the old-fashioned, dingy, Republican simplicity, the unbeautiful dignity of the bourgeois, and the heavier truisms of political morality. No; the people are sometimes wrong on the practical side of politics; they are never wrong on the artistic side.

… . .

So it was, certainly, with the Bastille. The destruction of the Bastille was not a reform; it was something more important than a reform. It was an iconoclasm; it was the breaking of a stone image. The people saw the building like a giant looking at them with a score of eyes, and they struck at it as at a carved fact. For of all the shapes in which that immense illusion called materialism can terrify the soul, perhaps the most oppressive are big buildings. Man feels like a fly, an accident, in the thing he has himself made. It requires a violent effort of the spirit to remember that man made this confounding thing and man could unmake it. Therefore the mere act of the ragged people in the street taking and destroying a huge public building has a spiritual, a ritual meaning far beyond its immediate political results. It is a religious service. If, for instance, the Socialists were numerous or courageous enough to capture and smash up the Bank of England, you might argue for ever about the inutility of the act, and how it really did not touch the root of the economic problem in the correct manner. But mankind would never forget it. It would change the world.

Architecture is a very good test of the true strength of a society, for the most valuable things in a human state are the irrevocable things—marriage, for instance. And architecture approaches nearer than any other art to being irrevocable, because it is so difficult to get rid of. You can turn a picture with its face to the wall; it would be a nuisance to turn that Roman cathedral with its face to the wall. You can tear a poem to pieces; it is only in moments of very sincere emotion that you tear a town-hall to pieces. A building is akin to dogma; it is insolent, like a dogma. Whether or no it is permanent, it claims permanence like a dogma. People ask why we have no typical architecture of the modern world, like impressionism in painting. Surely it is obviously because we have not enough dogmas; we cannot bear to see anything in the sky that is solid and enduring, anything in the sky that does not change like the clouds of the sky. But along with this decision which is involved in creating a building, there goes a quite similar decision in the more delightful task of smashing one. The two of necessity go together. In few places have so many fine public buildings been set up as here in Paris, and in few places have so many been destroyed. When people have finally got into the horrible habit of preserving buildings, they have got out of the habit of building them. And in London one mingles, as it were, one’s tears because so few are pulled down.

… . .

As I sat staring at the column of the Bastille, inscribed to Liberty and Glory, there came out of one corner of the square (which, like so many such squares, was at once crowded and quiet) a sudden and silent line of horsemen. Their dress was of a dull blue, plain and prosaic enough, but the sun set on fire the brass and steel of their helmets; and their helmets were carved like the helmets of the Romans. I had seen them by twos and threes often enough before. I had seen plenty of them in pictures toiling through the snows of Friedland or roaring round the squares at Waterloo. But now they came file after file, like an invasion, and something in their numbers, or in the evening light that lit up their faces and their crests, or something in the reverie into which they broke, made me inclined to spring to my feet and cry out, “The French soldiers!” There were the little men with the brown faces that had so often ridden through the capitals of Europe as coolly as they now rode through their own. And when I looked across the square I saw that the two other corners were choked with blue and red; held by little groups of infantry. The city was garrisoned as against a revolution.

Of course, I had heard all about the strike, chiefly from a baker. He said he was not going to “Chomer.” I said, “Qu’est-ce que c’est que le chome?” He said, “Ils ne veulent pas travailler.” I said, “Ni moi non plus,” and he thought I was a class-conscious collectivist proletarian. The whole thing was curious, and the true moral of it one not easy for us, as a nation, to grasp, because our own faults are so deeply and dangerously in the other direction. To me, as an Englishman (personally steeped in the English optimism and the English dislike of severity), the whole thing seemed a fuss about nothing. It looked like turning out one of the best armies in Europe against ordinary people walking about the street. The cavalry charged us once or twice, more or less harmlessly. But, of course, it is hard to say how far in such criticisms one is assuming the French populace to be (what it is not) as docile as the English. But the deeper truth of the matter tingled, so to speak, through the whole noisy night. This people has a natural faculty for feeling itself on the eve of something—of the Bartholomew or the Revolution or the Commune or the Day of Judgment. It is this sense of crisis that makes France eternally young. It is perpetually pulling down and building up, as it pulled down the prison and put up the column in the Place de La Bastille. France has always been at the point of dissolution. She has found the only method of immortality. She dies daily.

X

On Lying in Bed

Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a coloured pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling. This, however, is not generally a part of the domestic apparatus on the premises. I think myself that the thing might be managed with several pails of Aspinall and a broom. Only if one worked in a really sweeping and masterly way, and laid on the colour in great washes, it might drip down again on one’s face in floods of rich and mingled colour like some strange fairy rain; and that would have its disadvantages. I am afraid it would be necessary to stick to black and white in this form of artistic composition. To that purpose, indeed, the white ceiling would be of the greatest possible use; in fact, it is the only use I think of a white ceiling being put to.

But for the beautiful experiment of lying in bed I might never have discovered it. For years I have been looking for some blank spaces in a modern house to draw on. Paper is much too small for any really allegorical design; as Cyrano de Bergerac says, “Il me faut des géants.” But when I tried to find these fine clear spaces in the modern rooms such as we all live in I was continually disappointed. I found an endless pattern and complication of small objects hung like a curtain of fine links between me and my desire. I examined the walls; I found them to my surprise to be already covered with wallpaper, and I found the wallpaper to be already covered with uninteresting images, all bearing a ridiculous resemblance to each other. I could not understand why one arbitrary symbol (a symbol apparently entirely devoid of any religious or philosophical significance) should thus be sprinkled all over my nice walls like a sort of small-pox. The Bible must be referring to wallpapers, I think, when it says, “Use not vain repetitions, as the Gentiles do.” I found the Turkey carpet a mass of unmeaning colours, rather like the Turkish Empire, or like the sweetmeat called Turkish Delight. I do not exactly know what Turkish Delight really is; but I suppose it is Macedonian Massacres. Everywhere that I went forlornly, with my pencil or my paint brush, I found that others had unaccountably been before me, spoiling the walls, the curtains, and the furniture with their childish and barbaric designs.

… . .

Nowhere did I find a really clear space for sketching until this occasion when I prolonged beyond the proper limit the process of lying on my back in bed. Then the light of that white heaven broke upon my vision, that breadth of mere white which is indeed almost the definition of Paradise, since it means purity and also means freedom. But alas! like all heavens, now that it is seen it is found to be unattainable; it looks more austere and more distant than the blue sky outside the window. For my proposal to paint on it with the bristly end of a broom has been discouraged— never mind by whom; by a person debarred from all political rights— and even my minor proposal to put the other end of the broom into the kitchen fire and turn it to charcoal has not been conceded. Yet I am certain that it was from persons in my position that all the original inspiration came for covering the ceilings of palaces and cathedrals with a riot of fallen angels or victorious gods. I am sure that it was only because Michael Angelo was engaged in the ancient and honourable occupation of lying in bed that he ever realized how the roof of the Sistine Chapel might be made into an awful imitation of a divine drama that could only be acted in the heavens.

The tone now commonly taken toward the practice of lying in bed is hypocritical and unhealthy. Of all the marks of modernity that seem to mean a kind of decadence, there is none more menacing and dangerous than the exultation of very small and secondary matters of conduct at the expense of very great and primary ones, at the expense of eternal ties and tragic human morality. If there is one thing worse than the modern weakening of major morals, it is the modern strengthening of minor morals. Thus it is considered more withering to accuse a man of bad taste than of bad ethics. Cleanliness is not next to godliness nowadays, for cleanliness is made essential and godliness is regarded as an offence. A playwright can attack the institution of marriage so long as he does not misrepresent the manners of society, and I have met Ibsenite pessimists who thought it wrong to take beer but right to take prussic acid. Especially this is so in matters of hygiene; notably such matters as lying in bed. Instead of being regarded, as it ought to be, as a matter of personal convenience and adjustment, it has come to be regarded by many as if it were a part of essential morals to get up early in the morning. It is upon the whole part of practical wisdom; but there is nothing good about it or bad about its opposite.

… . .

Misers get up early in the morning; and burglars, I am informed, get up the night before. It is the great peril of our society that all its mechanisms may grow more fixed while its spirit grows more fickle. A man’s minor actions and arrangements ought to be free, flexible, creative; the things that should be unchangeable are his principles, his ideals. But with us the reverse is true; our views change constantly; but our lunch does not change. Now, I should like men to have strong and rooted conceptions, but as for their lunch, let them have it sometimes in the garden, sometimes in bed, sometimes on the roof, sometimes in the top of a tree. Let them argue from the same first principles, but let them do it in a bed, or a boat, or a balloon. This alarming growth of good habits really means a too great emphasis on those virtues which mere custom can ensure, it means too little emphasis on those virtues which custom can never quite ensure, sudden and splendid virtues of inspired pity or of inspired candour. If ever that abrupt appeal is made to us we may fail. A man can get use to getting up at five o’clock in the morning. A man cannot very well get used to being burnt for his opinions; the first experiment is commonly fatal. Let us pay a little more attention to these possibilities of the heroic and unexpected. I dare say that when I get out of this bed I shall do some deed of an almost terrible virtue.

For those who study the great art of lying in bed there is one emphatic caution to be added. Even for those who can do their work in bed (like journalists), still more for those whose work cannot be done in bed (as, for example, the professional harpooners of whales), it is obvious that the indulgence must be very occasional. But that is not the caution I mean. The caution is this: if you do lie in bed, be sure you do it without any reason or justification at all. I do not speak, of course, of the seriously sick. But if a healthy man lies in bed, let him do it without a rag of excuse; then he will get up a healthy man. If he does it for some secondary hygienic reason, if he has some scientific explanation, he may get up a hypochondriac.

XI

The Twelve Men

The other day, while I was meditating on morality and Mr. H. Pitt, I was, so to speak, snatched up and put into a jury box to try people. The snatching took some weeks, but to me it seemed something sudden and arbitrary. I was put into this box because I lived in Battersea, and my name began with a C. Looking round me, I saw that there were also summoned and in attendance in the court whole crowds and processions of men, all of whom lived in Battersea, and all of whose names began with a C.

It seems that they always summon jurymen in this sweeping alphabetical way. At one official blow, so to speak, Battersea is denuded of all its C’s, and left to get on as best it can with the rest of the alphabet. A Cumberpatch is missing from one street—a Chizzolpop from another— three Chucksterfields from Chucksterfield House; the children are crying out for an absent Cadgerboy; the woman at the street corner is weeping for her Coffintop, and will not be comforted. We settle down with a rollicking ease into our seats (for we are a bold, devil-may-care race, the C’s of Battersea), and an oath is administered to us in a totally inaudible manner by an individual resembling an Army surgeon in his second childhood. We understand, however, that we are to well and truly try the case between our sovereign lord the King and the prisoner at the bar, neither of whom has put in an appearance as yet.

… . .

Just when I was wondering whether the King and the prisoner were, perhaps, coming to an amicable understanding in some adjoining public house, the prisoner’s head appears above the barrier of the dock; he is accused of stealing bicycles, and he is the living image of a great friend of mine. We go into the matter of the stealing of the bicycles. We do well and truly try the case between the King and the prisoner in the affair of the bicycles. And we come to the conclusion, after a brief but reasonable discussion, that the King is not in any way implicated. Then we pass on to a woman who neglected her children, and who looks as if somebody or something had neglected her. And I am one of those who fancy that something had.

All the time that the eye took in these light appearances and the brain passed these light criticisms, there was in the heart a barbaric pity and fear which men have never been able to utter from the beginning, but which is the power behind half the poems of the world. The mood cannot even adequately be suggested, except faintly by this statement that tragedy is the highest expression of the infinite value of human life. Never had I stood so close to pain; and never so far away from pessimism. Ordinarily, I should not have spoken of these dark emotions at all, for speech about them is too difficult; but I mention them now for a specific and particular reason to the statement of which I will proceed at once. I speak these feelings because out of the furnace of them there came a curious realisation of a political or social truth. I saw with a queer and indescribable kind of clearness what a jury really is, and why we must never let it go.

The trend of our epoch up to this time has been consistently towards specialism and professionalism. We tend to have trained soldiers because they fight better, trained singers because they sing better, trained dancers because they dance better, specially instructed laughers because they laugh better, and so on and so on. The principle has been applied to law and politics by innumerable modern writers. Many Fabians have insisted that a greater part of our political work should be performed by experts. Many legalists have declared that the untrained jury should be altogether supplanted by the trained Judge.

… . .

Now, if this world of ours were really what is called reasonable, I do not know that there would be any fault to find with this. But the true result of all experience and the true foundation of all religion is this. That the four or five things that it is most practically essential that a man should know, are all of them what people call paradoxes. That is to say, that though we all find them in life to be mere plain truths, yet we cannot easily state them in words without being guilty of seeming verbal contradictions. One of them, for instance, is the unimpeachable platitude that the man who finds most pleasure for himself is often the man who least hunts for it. Another is the paradox of courage; the fact that the way to avoid death is not to have too much aversion to it. Whoever is careless enough of his bones to climb some hopeful cliff above the tide may save his bones by that carelessness. Whoever will lose his life, the same shall save it; an entirely practical and prosaic statement.

Now, one of these four or five paradoxes which should be taught to every infant prattling at his mother’s knee is the following: That the more a man looks at a thing, the less he can see it, and the more a man learns a thing the less he knows it. The Fabian argument of the expert, that the man who is trained should be the man who is trusted would be absolutely unanswerable if it were really true that a man who studied a thing and practiced it every day went on seeing more and more of its significance. But he does not. He goes on seeing less and less of its significance. In the same way, alas! we all go on every day, unless we are continually goading ourselves into gratitude and humility, seeing less and less of the significance of the sky or the stones.

… . .

Now it is a terrible business to mark a man out for the vengeance of men. But it is a thing to which a man can grow accustomed, as he can to other terrible things; he can even grow accustomed to the sun. And the horrible thing about all legal officials, even the best, about all judges, magistrates, barristers, detectives, and policemen, is not that they are wicked (some of them are good), not that they are stupid (several of them are quite intelligent), it is simply that they have got used to it.

Strictly they do not see the prisoner in the dock; all they see is the usual man in the usual place. They do not see the awful court of judgment; they only see their own workshop. Therefore, the instinct of Christian civilisation has most wisely declared that into their judgments there shall upon every occasion be infused fresh blood and fresh thoughts from the streets. Men shall come in who can see the court and the crowd, and coarse faces of the policeman and the professional criminals, the wasted faces of the wastrels, the unreal faces of the gesticulating counsel, and see it all as one sees a new picture or a play hitherto unvisited.

Our civilisation has decided, and very justly decided, that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. It wishes for light upon that awful matter, it asks men who know no more law than I know, but who can feel the things that I felt in the jury box. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

XII

The Wind and the Trees

I am sitting under tall trees, with a great wind boiling like surf about the tops of them, so that their living load of leaves rocks and roars in something that is at once exultation and agony. I feel, in fact, as if I were actually sitting at the bottom of the sea among mere anchors and ropes, while over my head and over the green twilight of water sounded the everlasting rush of waves and the toil and crash and shipwreck of tremendous ships. The wind tugs at the trees as if it might pluck them root and all out of the earth like tufts of grass. Or, to try yet another desperate figure of speech for this unspeakable energy, the trees are straining and tearing and lashing as if they were a tribe of dragons each tied by the tail.

As I look at these top-heavy giants tortured by an invisible and violent witchcraft, a phrase comes back into my mind. I remember a little boy of my acquaintance who was once walking in Battersea Park under just such torn skies and tossing trees. He did not like the wind at all; it blew in his face too much; it made him shut his eyes; and it blew off his hat, of which he was very proud. He was, as far as I remember, about four. After complaining repeatedly of the atmospheric unrest, he said at last to his mother, “Well, why don’t you take away the trees, and then it wouldn’t wind.”

Nothing could be more intelligent or natural than this mistake. Any one looking for the first time at the trees might fancy that they were indeed vast and titanic fans, which by their mere waving agitated the air around them for miles. Nothing, I say, could be more human and excusable than the belief that it is the trees which make the wind. Indeed, the belief is so human and excusable that it is, as a matter of fact, the belief of about ninety-nine out of a hundred of the philosophers, reformers, sociologists, and politicians of the great age in which we live. My small friend was, in fact, very like the principal modern thinkers; only much nicer.

… . .

In the little apologue or parable which he has thus the honour of inventing, the trees stand for all visible things and the wind for the invisible. The wind is the spirit which bloweth where it listeth; the trees are the material things of the world which are blown where the spirit lists. The wind is philosophy, religion, revolution; the trees are cities and civilisations. We only know that there is a wind because the trees on some distant hill suddenly go mad. We only know that there is a real revolution because all the chimney-pots go mad on the whole skyline of the city.

Just as the ragged outline of a tree grows suddenly more ragged and rises into fantastic crests or tattered tails, so the human city rises under the wind of the spirit into toppling temples or sudden spires. No man has ever seen a revolution. Mobs pouring through the palaces, blood pouring down the gutters, the guillotine lifted higher than the throne, a prison in ruins, a people in arms—these things are not revolution, but the results of revolution.

You cannot see a wind; you can only see that there is a wind. So, also, you cannot see a revolution; you can only see that there is a revolution. And there never has been in the history of the world a real revolution, brutally active and decisive, which was not preceded by unrest and new dogma in the reign of invisible things. All revolutions began by being abstract. Most revolutions began by being quite pedantically abstract.

The wind is up above the world before a twig on the tree has moved. So there must always be a battle in the sky before there is a battle on the earth. Since it is lawful to pray for the coming of the kingdom, it is lawful also to pray for the coming of the revolution that shall restore the kingdom. It is lawful to hope to hear the wind of Heaven in the trees. It is lawful to pray “Thine anger come on earth as it is in Heaven.”

… . .

The great human dogma, then, is that the wind moves the trees. The great human heresy is that the trees move the wind. When people begin to say that the material circumstances have alone created the moral circumstances, then they have prevented all possibility of serious change. For if my circumstances have made me wholly stupid, how can I be certain even that I am right in altering those circumstances?

The man who represents all thought as an accident of environment is simply smashing and discrediting all his own thoughts— including that one. To treat the human mind as having an ultimate authority is necessary to any kind of thinking, even free thinking. And nothing will ever be reformed in this age or country unless we realise that the moral fact comes first.

For example, most of us, I suppose, have seen in print and heard in debating clubs an endless discussion that goes on between Socialists and total abstainers. The latter say that drink leads to poverty; the former say that poverty leads to drink. I can only wonder at their either of them being content with such simple physical explanations. Surely it is obvious that the thing which among the English proletariat leads to poverty is the same as the thing which leads to drink; the absence of strong civic dignity, the absence of an instinct that resists degradation.

When you have discovered why enormous English estates were not long ago cut up into small holdings like the land of France, you will have discovered why the Englishman is more drunken than the Frenchman. The Englishman, among his million delightful virtues, really has this quality, which may strictly be called “hand to mouth,” because under its influence a man’s hand automatically seeks his own mouth, instead of seeking (as it sometimes should do) his oppressor’s nose. And a man who says that the English inequality in land is due only to economic causes, or that the drunkenness of England is due only to economic causes, is saying something so absurd that he cannot really have thought what he was saying.

Yet things quite as preposterous as this are said and written under the influence of that great spectacle of babyish helplessness, the economic theory of history. We have people who represent that all great historic motives were economic, and then have to howl at the top of their voices in order to induce the modern democracy to act on economic motives. The extreme Marxian politicians in England exhibit themselves as a small, heroic minority, trying vainly to induce the world to do what, according to their theory, the world always does. The truth is, of course, that there will be a social revolution the moment the thing has ceased to be purely economic. You can never have a revolution in order to establish a democracy. You must have a democracy in order to have a revolution.

… . .

I get up from under the trees, for the wind and the slight rain have ceased. The trees stand up like golden pillars in a clear sunlight. The tossing of the trees and the blowing of the wind have ceased simultaneously. So I suppose there are still modern philosophers who will maintain that the trees make the wind.

XIII

The Dickensian

He was a quiet man, dressed in dark clothes, with a large limp straw hat; with something almost military in his moustache and whiskers, but with a quite unmilitary stoop and very dreamy eyes. He was gazing with a rather gloomy interest at the cluster, one might almost say the tangle, of small shipping which grew thicker as our little pleasure boat crawled up into Yarmouth Harbour. A boat entering this harbour, as every one knows, does not enter in front of the town like a foreigner, but creeps round at the back like a traitor taking the town in the rear. The passage of the river seems almost too narrow for traffic, and in consequence the bigger ships look colossal. As we passed under a timber ship from Norway, which seemed to block up the heavens like a cathedral, the man in a straw hat pointed to an odd wooden figurehead carved like a woman, and said, like one continuing a conversation, “Now, why have they left off having them. They didn’t do any one any harm?”

I replied with some flippancy about the captain’s wife being jealous; but I knew in my heart that the man had struck a deep note. There has been something in our most recent civilisation which is mysteriously hostile to such healthy and humane symbols.

“They hate anything like that, which is human and pretty,” he continued, exactly echoing my thoughts. “I believe they broke up all the jolly old figureheads with hatchets and enjoyed doing it.”

“Like Mr. Quilp,” I answered, “when he battered the wooden Admiral with the poker.”

His whole face suddenly became alive, and for the first time he stood erect and stared at me.

“Do you come to Yarmouth for that?” he asked.

“For what?”

“For Dickens,” he answered, and drummed with his foot on the deck.

“No,” I answered; “I come for fun, though that is much the same thing.”

“I always come,” he answered quietly, “to find Peggotty’s boat. It isn’t here.”

And when he said that I understood him perfectly.

There are two Yarmouths; I daresay there are two hundred to the people who live there. I myself have never come to the end of the list of Batterseas. But there are two to the stranger and tourist; the poor part, which is dignified, and the prosperous part, which is savagely vulgar. My new friend haunted the first of these like a ghost; to the latter he would only distantly allude.

“The place is very much spoilt now… . trippers, you know,” he would say, not at all scornfully, but simply sadly. That was the nearest he would go to an admission of the monstrous watering place that lay along the front, outblazing the sun, and more deafening than the sea. But behind—out of earshot of this uproar—there are lanes so narrow that they seem like secret entrances to some hidden place of repose. There are squares so brimful of silence that to plunge into one of them is like plunging into a pool. In these places the man and I paced up and down talking about Dickens, or, rather, doing what all true Dickensians do, telling each other verbatim long passages which both of us knew quite well already. We were really in the atmosphere of the older England. Fishermen passed us who might well have been characters like Peggotty; we went into a musty curiosity shop and bought pipe-stoppers carved into figures from Pickwick. The evening was settling down between all the buildings with that slow gold that seems to soak everything when we went into the church.

In the growing darkness of the church, my eye caught the coloured windows which on that clear golden evening were flaming with all the passionate heraldry of the most fierce and ecstatic of Christian arts. At length I said to my companion:

“Do you see that angel over there? I think it must be meant for the angel at the sepulchre.”

He saw that I was somewhat singularly moved, and he raised his eyebrows.

“I daresay,” he said. “What is there odd about that?”

After a pause I said, “Do you remember what the angel at the sepulchre said?”

“Not particularly,” he answered; “but where are you off to in such a hurry?”

I walked him rapidly out of the still square, past the fishermen’s almshouses, towards the coast, he still inquiring indignantly where I was going.

“I am going,” I said, “to put pennies in automatic machines on the beach. I am going to listen to the niggers. I am going to have my photograph taken. I am going to drink ginger-beer out of its original bottle. I will buy some picture postcards. I do want a boat. I am ready to listen to a concertina, and but for the defects of my education should be ready to play it. I am willing to ride on a donkey; that is, if the donkey is willing. I am willing to be a donkey; for all this was commanded me by the angel in the stained-glass window.”

“I really think,” said the Dickensian, “that I had better put you in charge of your relations.”

“Sir,” I answered, “there are certain writers to whom humanity owes much, whose talent is yet of so shy or delicate or retrospective a type that we do well to link it with certain quaint places or certain perishing associations. It would not be unnatural to look for the spirit of Horace Walpole at Strawberry Hill, or even for the shade of Thackeray in Old Kensington. But let us have no antiquarianism about Dickens, for Dickens is not an antiquity. Dickens looks not backward, but forward; he might look at our modern mobs with satire, or with fury, but he would love to look at them. He might lash our democracy, but it would be because, like a democrat, he asked much from it. We will not have all his books bound up under the title of ‘The Old Curiosity Shop.’ Rather we will have them all bound up under the title of ‘Great Expectations.’ Wherever humanity is he would have us face it and make something of it, swallow it with a holy cannibalism, and assimilate it with the digestion of a giant. We must take these trippers as he would have taken them, and tear out of them their tragedy and their farce. Do you remember now what the angel said at the sepulchre? ‘Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here; he is risen.’”

With that we came out suddenly on the wide stretch of the sands, which were black with the knobs and masses of our laughing and quite desperate democracy. And the sunset, which was now in its final glory, flung far over all of them a red flush and glitter like the gigantic firelight of Dickens. In that strange evening light every figure looked at once grotesque and attractive, as if he had a story to tell. I heard a little girl (who was being throttled by another little girl) say by way of self-vindication, “My sister-in-law ‘as got four rings aside her weddin’ ring!”

I stood and listened for more, but my friend went away.

XIV

In Topsy-Turvy Land

Last week, in an idle metaphor, I took the tumbling of trees and the secret energy of the wind as typical of the visible world moving under the violence of the invisible. I took this metaphor merely because I happened to be writing the article in a wood. Nevertheless, now that I return to Fleet Street (which seems to me, I confess, much better and more poetical than all the wild woods in the world), I am strangely haunted by this accidental comparison. The people’s figures seem a forest and their soul a wind. All the human personalities which speak or signal to me seem to have this fantastic character of the fringe of the forest against the sky. That man that talks to me, what is he but an articulate tree? That driver of a van who waves his hands wildly at me to tell me to get out of the way, what is he but a bunch of branches stirred and swayed by a spiritual wind, a sylvan object that I can continue to contemplate with calm? That policeman who lifts his hand to warn three omnibuses of the peril that they run in encountering my person, what is he but a shrub shaken for a moment with that blast of human law which is a thing stronger than anarchy? Gradually this impression of the woods wears off. But this black-and-white contrast between the visible and invisible, this deep sense that the one essential belief is belief in the invisible as against the visible, is suddenly and sensationally brought back to my mind. Exactly at the moment when Fleet Street has grown most familiar (that is, most bewildering and bright), my eye catches a poster of vivid violet, on which I see written in large black letters these remarkable words: “Should Shop Assistants Marry?”

… . .

When I saw those words everything might just as well have turned upside down. The men in Fleet Street might have been walking about on their hands. The cross of St. Paul’s might have been hanging in the air upside down. For I realise that I have really come into a topsy-turvy country; I have come into the country where men do definitely believe that the waving of the trees makes the wind. That is to say, they believe that the material circumstances, however black and twisted, are more important than the spiritual realities, however powerful and pure. “Should Shop Assistants Marry?” I am puzzled to think what some periods and schools of human history would have made of such a question. The ascetics of the East or of some periods of the early Church would have thought that the question meant, “Are not shop assistants too saintly, too much of another world, even to feel the emotions of the sexes?” But I suppose that is not what the purple poster means. In some pagan cities it might have meant, “Shall slaves so vile as shop assistants even be allowed to propagate their abject race?” But I suppose that is not what the purple poster meant. We must face, I fear, the full insanity of what it does mean. It does really mean that a section of the human race is asking whether the primary relations of the two human sexes are particularly good for modern shops. The human race is asking whether Adam and Eve are entirely suitable for Marshall and Snelgrove. If this is not topsy-turvy I cannot imagine what would be. We ask whether the universal institution will improve our (please God) temporary institution. Yet I have known many such questions. For instance, I have known a man ask seriously, “Does Democracy help the Empire?” Which is like saying, “Is art favourable to frescoes?”

I say that there are many such questions asked. But if the world ever runs short of them, I can suggest a large number of questions of precisely the same kind, based on precisely the same principle.

“Do Feet Improve Boots?”—“Is Bread Better when Eaten?”—“Should Hats have Heads in them?”—“Do People Spoil a Town?”—“Do Walls Ruin Wall-papers?”—“Should Neckties enclose Necks?”—“Do Hands Hurt Walking-sticks?”—“Does Burning Destroy Firewood?”—“Is Cleanliness Good for Soap?”—“Can Cricket Really Improve Cricket-bats?”—“Shall We Take Brides with our Wedding Rings?” and a hundred others.

Not one of these questions differs at all in intellectual purport or in intellectual value from the question which I have quoted from the purple poster, or from any of the typical questions asked by half of the earnest economists of our times. All the questions they ask are of this character; they are all tinged with this same initial absurdity. They do not ask if the means is suited to the end; they all ask (with profound and penetrating scepticism) if the end is suited to the means. They do not ask whether the tail suits the dog. They all ask whether a dog is (by the highest artistic canons) the most ornamental appendage that can be put at the end of a tail. In short, instead of asking whether our modern arrangements, our streets, trades, bargains, laws, and concrete institutions are suited to the primal and permanent idea of a healthy human life, they never admit that healthy human life into the discussion at all, except suddenly and accidentally at odd moments; and then they only ask whether that healthy human life is suited to our streets and trades. Perfection may be attainable or unattainable as an end. It may or may not be possible to talk of imperfection as a means to perfection. But surely it passes toleration to talk of perfection as a means to imperfection. The New Jerusalem may be a reality. It may be a dream. But surely it is too outrageous to say that the New Jerusalem is a reality on the road to Birmingham.

… . .

This is the most enormous and at the same time the most secret of the modern tyrannies of materialism. In theory the thing ought to be simple enough. A really human human being would always put the spiritual things first. A walking and speaking statue of God finds himself at one particular moment employed as a shop assistant. He has in himself a power of terrible love, a promise of paternity, a thirst for some loyalty that shall unify life, and in the ordinary course of things he asks himself, “How far do the existing conditions of those assisting in shops fit in with my evident and epic destiny in the matter of love and marriage?” But here, as I have said, comes in the quiet and crushing power of modern materialism. It prevents him rising in rebellion, as he would otherwise do. By perpetually talking about environment and visible things, by perpetually talking about economics and physical necessity, painting and keeping repainted a perpetual picture of iron machinery and merciless engines, of rails of steel, and of towers of stone, modern materialism at last produces this tremendous impression in which the truth is stated upside down. At last the result is achieved. The man does not say as he ought to have said, “Should married men endure being modern shop assistants?” The man says, “Should shop assistants marry?” Triumph has completed the immense illusion of materialism. The slave does not say, “Are these chains worthy of me?” The slave says scientifically and contentedly, “Am I even worthy of these chains?”

XV

What I Found in My Pocket

Once when I was very young I met one of those men who have made the Empire what it is—a man in an astracan coat, with an astracan moustache—a tight, black, curly moustache. Whether he put on the moustache with the coat or whether his Napoleonic will enabled him not only to grow a moustache in the usual place, but also to grow little moustaches all over his clothes, I do not know. I only remember that he said to me the following words: “A man can’t get on nowadays by hanging about with his hands in his pockets.” I made reply with the quite obvious flippancy that perhaps a man got on by having his hands in other people’s pockets; whereupon he began to argue about Moral Evolution, so I suppose what I said had some truth in it. But the incident now comes back to me, and connects itself with another incident—if you can call it an incident— which happened to me only the other day.

I have only once in my life picked a pocket, and then (perhaps through some absent-mindedness) I picked my own. My act can really with some reason be so described. For in taking things out of my own pocket I had at least one of the more tense and quivering emotions of the thief; I had a complete ignorance and a profound curiosity as to what I should find there. Perhaps it would be the exaggeration of eulogy to call me a tidy person. But I can always pretty satisfactorily account for all my possessions. I can always tell where they are, and what I have done with them, so long as I can keep them out of my pockets. If once anything slips into those unknown abysses, I wave it a sad Virgilian farewell. I suppose that the things that I have dropped into my pockets are still there; the same presumption applies to the things that I have dropped into the sea. But I regard the riches stored in both these bottomless chasms with the same reverent ignorance. They tell us that on the last day the sea will give up its dead; and I suppose that on the same occasion long strings of extraordinary things will come running out of my pockets. But I have quite forgotten what any of them are; and there is really nothing (excepting the money) that I shall be at all surprised at finding among them.

… . .

Such at least has hitherto been my state of innocence. I here only wish briefly to recall the special, extraordinary, and hitherto unprecedented circumstances which led me in cold blood, and being of sound mind, to turn out my pockets. I was locked up in a third-class carriage for a rather long journey. The time was towards evening, but it might have been anything, for everything resembling earth or sky or light or shade was painted out as if with a great wet brush by an unshifting sheet of quite colourless rain. I had no books or newspapers. I had not even a pencil and a scrap of paper with which to write a religious epic. There were no advertisements on the walls of the carriage, otherwise I could have plunged into the study, for any collection of printed words is quite enough to suggest infinite complexities of mental ingenuity. When I find myself opposite the words “Sunlight Soap” I can exhaust all the aspects of Sun Worship, Apollo, and Summer poetry before I go on to the less congenial subject of soap. But there was no printed word or picture anywhere; there was nothing but blank wood inside the carriage and blank wet without. Now I deny most energetically that anything is, or can be, uninteresting. So I stared at the joints of the walls and seats, and began thinking hard on the fascinating subject of wood. Just as I had begun to realise why, perhaps, it was that Christ was a carpenter, rather than a bricklayer, or a baker, or anything else, I suddenly started upright, and remembered my pockets. I was carrying about with me an unknown treasury. I had a British Museum and a South Kensington collection of unknown curios hung all over me in different places. I began to take the things out.

… . .

The first thing I came upon consisted of piles and heaps of Battersea tram tickets. There were enough to equip a paper chase. They shook down in showers like confetti. Primarily, of course, they touched my patriotic emotions, and brought tears to my eyes; also they provided me with the printed matter I required, for I found on the back of them some short but striking little scientific essays about some kind of pill. Comparatively speaking, in my then destitution, those tickets might be regarded as a small but well-chosen scientific library. Should my railway journey continue (which seemed likely at the time) for a few months longer, I could imagine myself throwing myself into the controversial aspects of the pill, composing replies and rejoinders pro and con upon the data furnished to me. But after all it was the symbolic quality of the tickets that moved me most. For as certainly as the cross of St. George means English patriotism, those scraps of paper meant all that municipal patriotism which is now, perhaps, the greatest hope of England.

The next thing that I took out was a pocket-knife. A pocket-knife, I need hardly say, would require a thick book full of moral meditations all to itself. A knife typifies one of the most primary of those practical origins upon which as upon low, thick pillows all our human civilisation reposes. Metals, the mystery of the thing called iron and of the thing called steel, led me off half-dazed into a kind of dream. I saw into the intrails of dim, damp wood, where the first man among all the common stones found the strange stone. I saw a vague and violent battle, in which stone axes broke and stone knives were splintered against something shining and new in the hand of one desperate man. I heard all the hammers on all the anvils of the earth. I saw all the swords of Feudal and all the weals of Industrial war. For the knife is only a short sword; and the pocket-knife is a secret sword. I opened it and looked at that brilliant and terrible tongue which we call a blade; and I thought that perhaps it was the symbol of the oldest of the needs of man. The next moment I knew that I was wrong; for the thing that came next out of my pocket was a box of matches. Then I saw fire, which is stronger even than steel, the old, fierce female thing, the thing we all love, but dare not touch.

The next thing I found was a piece of chalk; and I saw in it all the art and all the frescoes of the world. The next was a coin of a very modest value; and I saw in it not only the image and superscription of our own Caesar, but all government and order since the world began. But I have not space to say what were the items in the long and splendid procession of poetical symbols that came pouring out. I cannot tell you all the things that were in my pocket. I can tell you one thing, however, that I could not find in my pocket. I allude to my railway ticket.

XVI

The Dragon’s Grandmother

I met a man the other day who did not believe in fairy tales. I do not mean that he did not believe in the incidents narrated in them—that he did not believe that a pumpkin could turn into a coach. He did, indeed, entertain this curious disbelief. And, like all the other people I have ever met who entertained it, he was wholly unable to give me an intelligent reason for it. He tried the laws of nature, but he soon dropped that. Then he said that pumpkins were unalterable in ordinary experience, and that we all reckoned on their infinitely protracted pumpkinity. But I pointed out to him that this was not an attitude we adopt specially towards impossible marvels, but simply the attitude we adopt towards all unusual occurrences. If we were certain of miracles we should not count on them. Things that happen very seldom we all leave out of our calculations, whether they are miraculous or not. I do not expect a glass of water to be turned into wine; but neither do I expect a glass of water to be poisoned with prussic acid. I do not in ordinary business relations act on the assumption that the editor is a fairy; but neither do I act on the assumption that he is a Russian spy, or the lost heir of the Holy Roman Empire. What we assume in action is not that the natural order is unalterable, but simply that it is much safer to bet on uncommon incidents than on common ones. This does not touch the credibility of any attested tale about a Russian spy or a pumpkin turned into a coach. If I had seen a pumpkin turned into a Panhard motor-car with my own eyes that would not make me any more inclined to assume that the same thing would happen again. I should not invest largely in pumpkins with an eye to the motor trade. Cinderella got a ball dress from the fairy; but I do not suppose that she looked after her own clothes any the less after it.

But the view that fairy tales cannot really have happened, though crazy, is common. The man I speak of disbelieved in fairy tales in an even more amazing and perverted sense. He actually thought that fairy tales ought not to be told to children. That is (like a belief in slavery or annexation) one of those intellectual errors which lie very near to ordinary mortal sins. There are some refusals which, though they may be done what is called conscientiously, yet carry so much of their whole horror in the very act of them, that a man must in doing them not only harden but slightly corrupt his heart. One of them was the refusal of milk to young mothers when their husbands were in the field against us. Another is the refusal of fairy tales to children.

… . .

The man had come to see me in connection with some silly society of which I am an enthusiastic member; he was a fresh-coloured, short-sighted young man, like a stray curate who was too helpless even to find his way to the Church of England. He had a curious green necktie and a very long neck; I am always meeting idealists with very long necks. Perhaps it is that their eternal aspiration slowly lifts their heads nearer and nearer to the stars. Or perhaps it has something to do with the fact that so many of them are vegetarians: perhaps they are slowly evolving the neck of the giraffe so that they can eat all the tops of the trees in Kensington Gardens. These things are in every sense above me. Such, anyhow, was the young man who did not believe in fairy tales; and by a curious coincidence he entered the room when I had just finished looking through a pile of contemporary fiction, and had begun to read “Grimm’s Fairy tales” as a natural consequence.

The modern novels stood before me, however, in a stack; and you can imagine their titles for yourself. There was “Suburban Sue: A Tale of Psychology,” and also “Psychological Sue: A Tale of Suburbia”; there was “Trixy: A Temperament,” and “Man-Hate: A Monochrome,” and all those nice things. I read them with real interest, but, curiously enough, I grew tired of them at last, and when I saw “Grimm’s Fairy Tales” lying accidentally on the table, I gave a cry of indecent joy. Here at least, here at last, one could find a little common sense. I opened the book, and my eyes fell on these splendid and satisfying words, “The Dragon’s Grandmother.” That at least was reasonable; that at least was true. “The Dragon’s Grandmother!” While I was rolling this first touch of ordinary human reality upon my tongue, I looked up suddenly and saw this monster with a green tie standing in the doorway.

… . .

I listened to what he said about the society politely enough, I hope; but when he incidentally mentioned that he did not believe in fairy tales, I broke out beyond control. “Man,” I said, “who are you that you should not believe in fairy tales? It is much easier to believe in Blue Beard than to believe in you. A blue beard is a misfortune; but there are green ties which are sins. It is far easier to believe in a million fairy tales than to believe in one man who does not like fairy tales. I would rather kiss Grimm instead of a Bible and swear to all his stories as if they were thirty-nine articles than say seriously and out of my heart that there can be such a man as you; that you are not some temptation of the devil or some delusion from the void. Look at these plain, homely, practical words. ‘The Dragon’s Grandmother,’ that is all right; that is rational almost to the verge of rationalism. If there was a dragon, he had a grandmother. But you—you had no grandmother! If you had known one, she would have taught you to love fairy tales. You had no father, you had no mother; no natural causes can explain you. You cannot be. I believe many things which I have not seen; but of such things as you it may be said, ‘Blessed is he that has seen and yet has disbelieved.’”

… . .

It seemed to me that he did not follow me with sufficient delicacy, so I moderated my tone. “Can you not see,” I said, “that fairy tales in their essence are quite solid and straightforward; but that this everlasting fiction about modern life is in its nature essentially incredible? Folk-lore means that the soul is sane, but that the universe is wild and full of marvels. Realism means that the world is dull and full of routine, but that the soul is sick and screaming. The problem of the fairy tale is— what will a healthy man do with a fantastic world? The problem of the modern novel is—what will a madman do with a dull world? In the fairy tales the cosmos goes mad; but the hero does not go mad. In the modern novels the hero is mad before the book begins, and suffers from the harsh steadiness and cruel sanity of the cosmos. In the excellent tale of ‘The Dragon’s Grandmother,’ in all the other tales of Grimm, it is assumed that the young man setting out on his travels will have all substantial truths in him; that he will be brave, full of faith, reasonable, that he will respect his parents, keep his word, rescue one kind of people, defy another kind, ‘parcere subjectis et debellare,’ etc. Then, having assumed this centre of sanity, the writer entertains himself by fancying what would happen if the whole world went mad all round it, if the sun turned green and the moon blue, if horses had six legs and giants had two heads. But your modern literature takes insanity as its centre. Therefore, it loses the interest even of insanity. A lunatic is not startling to himself, because he is quite serious; that is what makes him a lunatic. A man who thinks he is a piece of glass is to himself as dull as a piece of glass. A man who thinks he is a chicken is to himself as common as a chicken. It is only sanity that can see even a wild poetry in insanity. Therefore, these wise old tales made the hero ordinary and the tale extraordinary. But you have made the hero extraordinary and the tale ordinary—so ordinary—oh, so very ordinary.”

I saw him still gazing at me fixedly. Some nerve snapped in me under the hypnotic stare. I leapt to my feet and cried, “In the name of God and Democracy and the Dragon’s grandmother—in the name of all good things—I charge you to avaunt and haunt this house no more.” Whether or no it was the result of the exorcism, there is no doubt that he definitely went away.

XVII

The Red Angel

I find that there really are human beings who think fairy tales bad for children. I do not speak of the man in the green tie, for him I can never count truly human. But a lady has written me an earnest letter saying that fairy tales ought not to be taught to children even if they are true. She says that it is cruel to tell children fairy tales, because it frightens them. You might just as well say that it is cruel to give girls sentimental novels because it makes them cry. All this kind of talk is based on that complete forgetting of what a child is like which has been the firm foundation of so many educational schemes. If you keep bogies and goblins away from children they would make them up for themselves. One small child in the dark can invent more hells than Swedenborg. One small child can imagine monsters too big and black to get into any picture, and give them names too unearthly and cacophonous to have occurred in the cries of any lunatic. The child, to begin with, commonly likes horrors, and he continues to indulge in them even when he does not like them. There is just as much difficulty in saying exactly where pure pain begins in his case, as there is in ours when we walk of our own free will into the torture-chamber of a great tragedy. The fear does not come from fairy tales; the fear comes from the universe of the soul.

… . .

The timidity of the child or the savage is entirely reasonable; they are alarmed at this world, because this world is a very alarming place. They dislike being alone because it is verily and indeed an awful idea to be alone. Barbarians fear the unknown for the same reason that Agnostics worship it— because it is a fact. Fairy tales, then, are not responsible for producing in children fear, or any of the shapes of fear; fairy tales do not give the child the idea of the evil or the ugly; that is in the child already, because it is in the world already. Fairy tales do not give the child his first idea of bogey. What fairy tales give the child is his first clear idea of the possible defeat of bogey. The baby has known the dragon intimately ever since he had an imagination. What the fairy tale provides for him is a St. George to kill the dragon.

Exactly what the fairy tale does is this: it accustoms him for a series of clear pictures to the idea that these limitless terrors had a limit, that these shapeless enemies have enemies in the knights of God, that there is something in the universe more mystical than darkness, and stronger than strong fear. When I was a child I have stared at the darkness until the whole black bulk of it turned into one negro giant taller than heaven. If there was one star in the sky it only made him a Cyclops. But fairy tales restored my mental health, for next day I read an authentic account of how a negro giant with one eye, of quite equal dimensions, had been baffled by a little boy like myself (of similar inexperience and even lower social status) by means of a sword, some bad riddles, and a brave heart. Sometimes the sea at night seemed as dreadful as any dragon. But then I was acquainted with many youngest sons and little sailors to whom a dragon or two was as simple as the sea.

Take the most horrible of Grimm’s tales in incident and imagery, the excellent tale of the “Boy who Could not Shudder,” and you will see what I mean. There are some living shocks in that tale. I remember specially a man’s legs which fell down the chimney by themselves and walked about the room, until they were rejoined by the severed head and body which fell down the chimney after them. That is very good. But the point of the story and the point of the reader’s feelings is not that these things are frightening, but the far more striking fact that the hero was not frightened at them. The most fearful of all these fearful wonders was his own absence of fear. He slapped the bogies on the back and asked the devils to drink wine with him; many a time in my youth, when stifled with some modern morbidity, I have prayed for a double portion of his spirit. If you have not read the end of his story, go and read it; it is the wisest thing in the world. The hero was at last taught to shudder by taking a wife, who threw a pail of cold water over him. In that one sentence there is more of the real meaning of marriage than in all the books about sex that cover Europe and America.

… . .

At the four corners of a child’s bed stand Perseus and Roland, Sigurd and St. George. If you withdraw the guard of heroes you are not making him rational; you are only leaving him to fight the devils alone. For the devils, alas, we have always believed in. The hopeful element in the universe has in modern times continually been denied and reasserted; but the hopeless element has never for a moment been denied. As I told “H. N. B.” (whom I pause to wish a Happy Christmas in its most superstitious sense), the one thing modern people really do believe in is damnation. The greatest of purely modern poets summed up the really modern attitude in that fine Agnostic line—

“There may be Heaven; there must be Hell.”

The gloomy view of the universe has been a continuous tradition; and the new types of spiritual investigation or conjecture all begin by being gloomy. A little while ago men believed in no spirits. Now they are beginning rather slowly to believe in rather slow spirits.

… . .

Some people objected to spiritualism, table rappings, and such things, because they were undignified, because the ghosts cracked jokes or waltzed with dinner-tables. I do not share this objection in the least. I wish the spirits were more farcical than they are. That they should make more jokes and better ones, would be my suggestion. For almost all the spiritualism of our time, in so far as it is new, is solemn and sad. Some Pagan gods were lawless, and some Christian saints were a little too serious; but the spirits of modern spiritualism are both lawless and serious—a disgusting combination. The specially contemporary spirits are not only devils, they are blue devils. This is, first and last, the real value of Christmas; in so far as the mythology remains at all it is a kind of happy mythology. Personally, of course, I believe in Santa Claus; but it is the season of forgiveness, and I will forgive others for not doing so. But if there is anyone who does not comprehend the defect in our world which I am civilising, I should recommend him, for instance, to read a story by Mr. Henry James, called “The Turn of the Screw.” It is one of the most powerful things ever written, and it is one of the things about which I doubt most whether it ought ever to have been written at all. It describes two innocent children gradually growing at once omniscient and half-witted under the influence of the foul ghosts of a groom and a governess. As I say, I doubt whether Mr. Henry James ought to have published it (no, it is not indecent, do not buy it; it is a spiritual matter), but I think the question so doubtful that I will give that truly great man a chance. I will approve the thing as well as admire it if he will write another tale just as powerful about two children and Santa Claus. If he will not, or cannot, then the conclusion is clear; we can deal strongly with gloomy mystery, but not with happy mystery; we are not rationalists, but diabolists.

… . .

I have thought vaguely of all this staring at a great red fire that stands up in the room like a great red angel. But, perhaps, you have never heard of a red angel. But you have heard of a blue devil. That is exactly what I mean.

XVIII

The Tower

I have been standing where everybody has stood, opposite the great Belfry Tower of Bruges, and thinking, as every one has thought (though not, perhaps, said), that it is built in defiance of all decencies of architecture. It is made in deliberate disproportion to achieve the one startling effect of height. It is a church on stilts. But this sort of sublime deformity is characteristic of the whole fancy and energy of these Flemish cities. Flanders has the flattest and most prosaic landscapes, but the most violent and extravagant of buildings. Here Nature is tame; it is civilisation that is untamable. Here the fields are as flat as a paved square; but, on the other hand, the streets and roofs are as uproarious as a forest in a great wind. The waters of wood and meadow slide as smoothly and meekly as if they were in the London water-pipes. But the parish pump is carved with all the creatures out of the wilderness. Part of this is true, of course, of all art. We talk of wild animals, but the wildest animal is man. There are sounds in music that are more ancient and awful than the cry of the strangest beast at night. And so also there are buildings that are shapeless in their strength, seeming to lift themselves slowly like monsters from the primal mire, and there are spires that seem to fly up suddenly like a startled bird.

… . .

This savagery even in stone is the expression of the special spirit in humanity. All the beasts of the field are respectable; it is only man who has broken loose. All animals are domestic animals; only man is ever undomestic. All animals are tame animals; it is only we who are wild. And doubtless, also, while this queer energy is common to all human art, it is also generally characteristic of Christian art among the arts of the world. This is what people really mean when they say that Christianity is barbaric, and arose in ignorance. As a matter of historic fact, it didn’t; it arose in the most equably civilised period the world has ever seen.

But it is true that there is something in it that breaks the outline of perfect and conventional beauty, something that dots with anger the blind eyes of the Apollo and lashes to a cavalry charge the horses of the Elgin Marbles. Christianity is savage, in the sense that it is primeval; there is in it a touch of the nigger hymn. I remember a debate in which I had praised militant music in ritual, and some one asked me if I could imagine Christ walking down the street before a brass band. I said I could imagine it with the greatest ease; for Christ definitely approved a natural noisiness at a great moment. When the street children shouted too loud, certain priggish disciples did begin to rebuke them in the name of good taste. He said: “If these were silent the very stones would cry out.” With these words He called up all the wealth of artistic creation that has been founded on this creed. With those words He founded Gothic architecture. For in a town like this, which seems to have grown Gothic as a wood grows leaves, anywhere and anyhow, any odd brick or moulding may be carved off into a shouting face. The front of vast buildings is thronged with open mouths, angels praising God, or devils defying Him. Rock itself is racked and twisted, until it seems to scream. The miracle is accomplished; the very stones cry out.

But though this furious fancy is certainly a specialty of men among creatures, and of Christian art among arts, it is still most notable in the art of Flanders. All Gothic buildings are full of extravagant things in detail; but this is an extravagant thing in design. All Christian temples worth talking about have gargoyles; but Bruges Belfry is a gargoyle. It is an unnaturally long-necked animal, like a giraffe. The same impression of exaggeration is forced on the mind at every corner of a Flemish town. And if any one asks, “Why did the people of these flat countries instinctively raise these riotous and towering monuments?” the only answer one can give is, “Because they were the people of these flat countries.” If any one asks, “Why the men of Bruges sacrificed architecture and everything to the sense of dizzy and divine heights?” we can only answer, “Because Nature gave them no encouragement to do so.”

… . .

As I stare at the Belfry, I think with a sort of smile of some of my friends in London who are quite sure of how children will turn out if you give them what they call “the right environment.” It is a troublesome thing, environment, for it sometimes works positively and sometimes negatively, and more often between the two. A beautiful environment may make a child love beauty; it may make him bored with beauty; most likely the two effects will mix and neutralise each other. Most likely, that is, the environment will make hardly any difference at all. In the scientific style of history (which was recently fashionable, and is still conventional) we always had a list of countries that had owed their characteristics to their physical conditions.

The Spaniards (it was said) are passionate because their country is hot; Scandinavians adventurous because their country is cold; Englishmen naval because they are islanders; Switzers free because they are mountaineers. It is all very nice in its way. Only unfortunately I am quite certain that I could make up quite as long a list exactly contrary in its argument point-blank against the influence of their geographical environment. Thus Spaniards have discovered more continents than Scandinavians because their hot climate discouraged them from exertion. Thus Dutchmen have fought for their freedom quite as bravely as Switzers because the Dutch have no mountains. Thus Pagan Greece and Rome and many Mediterranean peoples have specially hated the sea because they had the nicest sea to deal with, the easiest sea to manage. I could extend the list for ever. But however long it was, two examples would certainly stand up in it as pre-eminent and unquestionable. The first is that the Swiss, who live under staggering precipices and spires of eternal snow, have produced no art or literature at all, and are by far the most mundane, sensible, and business-like people in Europe. The other is that the people of Belgium, who live in a country like a carpet, have, by an inner energy, desired to exalt their towers till they struck the stars.

As it is therefore quite doubtful whether a person will go specially with his environment or specially against his environment, I cannot comfort myself with the thought that the modern discussions about environment are of much practical value. But I think I will not write any more about these modern theories, but go on looking at the Belfry of Bruges. I would give them the greater attention if I were not pretty well convinced that the theories will have disappeared a long time before the Belfry.

XIX

How I Met the President

Several years ago, when there was a small war going on in South Africa and a great fuss going on in England, when it was by no means so popular and convenient to be a Pro-Boer as it is now, I remember making a bright suggestion to my Pro-Boer friends and allies, which was not, I regret to say, received with the seriousness it deserved. I suggested that a band of devoted and noble youths, including ourselves, should express our sense of the pathos of the President’s and the Republic’s fate by growing Kruger beards under our chins. I imagined how abruptly this decoration would alter the appearance of Mr. John Morley; how startling it would be as it emerged from under the chin of Mr. Lloyd-George. But the younger men, my own friends, on whom I more particularly urged it, men whose names are in many cases familiar to the readers of this paper—Mr. Masterman’s for instance, and Mr. Conrad Noel—they, I felt, being young and beautiful, would do even more justice to the Kruger beard, and when walking down the street with it could not fail to attract attention. The beard would have been a kind of counterblast to the Rhodes hat. An appropriate counterblast; for the Rhodesian power in Africa is only an external thing, placed upon the top like a hat; the Dutch power and tradition is a thing rooted and growing like a beard; we have shaved it, and it is growing again. The Kruger beard would represent time and the natural processes. You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.

… . .

After making this proposal to my friends I hurriedly left town. I went down to a West Country place where there was shortly afterwards an election, at which I enjoyed myself very much canvassing for the Liberal candidate. The extraordinary thing was that he got in. I sometimes lie awake at night and meditate upon that mystery; but it must not detain us now. The rather singular incident which happened to me then, and which some recent events have recalled to me, happened while the canvassing was still going on. It was a burning blue day, and the warm sunshine, settling everywhere on the high hedges and the low hills, brought out into a kind of heavy bloom that HUMANE quality of the landscape which, as far as I know, only exists in England; that sense as if the bushes and the roads were human, and had kindness like men; as if the tree were a good giant with one wooden leg; as if the very line of palings were a row of good-tempered gnomes. On one side of the white, sprawling road a low hill or down showed but a little higher than the hedge, on the other the land tumbled down into a valley that opened towards the Mendip hills. The road was very erratic, for every true English road exists in order to lead one a dance; and what could be more beautiful and beneficent than a dance? At an abrupt turn of it I came upon a low white building, with dark doors and dark shuttered windows, evidently not inhabited and scarcely in the ordinary sense inhabitable— a thing more like a toolhouse than a house of any other kind. Made idle by the heat, I paused, and, taking a piece of red chalk out of my pocket, began drawing aimlessly on the back door— drawing goblins and Mr. Chamberlain, and finally the ideal Nationalist with the Kruger beard. The materials did not permit of any delicate rendering of his noble and national expansion of countenance (stoical and yet hopeful, full of tears for man, and yet of an element of humour); but the hat was finely handled. Just as I was adding the finishing touches to the Kruger fantasy, I was frozen to the spot with terror. The black door, which I thought no more of than the lid of an empty box, began slowly to open, impelled from within by a human hand. And President Kruger himself came out into the sunlight!

He was a shade milder of eye than he was in his portraits, and he did not wear that ceremonial scarf which was usually, in such pictures, slung across his ponderous form. But there was the hat which filled the Empire with so much alarm; there were the clumsy dark clothes, there was the heavy, powerful face; there, above all, was the Kruger beard which I had sought to evoke (if I may use the verb) from under the features of Mr. Masterman. Whether he had the umbrella or not I was too much emotionally shaken to observe; he had not the stone lions with him, or Mrs. Kruger; and what he was doing in that dark shed I cannot imagine, but I suppose he was oppressing an Outlander.

I was surprised, I must confess, to meet President Kruger in Somersetshire during the war. I had no idea that he was in the neighbourhood. But a yet more arresting surprise awaited me. Mr. Kruger regarded me for some moments with a dubious grey eye, and then addressed me with a strong Somersetshire accent. A curious cold shock went through me to hear that inappropriate voice coming out of that familiar form. It was as if you met a Chinaman, with pigtail and yellow jacket, and he began to talk broad Scotch. But the next moment, of course, I understood the situation. We had much underrated the Boers in supposing that the Boer education was incomplete. In pursuit of his ruthless plot against our island home, the terrible President had learnt not only English, but all the dialects at a moment’s notice to win over a Lancashire merchant or seduce a Northumberland Fusilier. No doubt, if I asked him, this stout old gentleman could grind out Sussex, Essex, Norfolk, Suffolk, and so on, like the tunes in a barrel organ. I could not wonder if our plain, true-hearted German millionaires fell before a cunning so penetrated with culture as this.

… . .

And now I come to the third and greatest surprise of all that this strange old man gave me. When he asked me, dryly enough, but not without a certain steady civility that belongs to old-fashioned country people, what I wanted and what I was doing, I told him the facts of the case, explaining my political mission and the almost angelic qualities of the Liberal candidate. Whereupon, this old man became suddenly transfigured in the sunlight into a devil of wrath. It was some time before I could understand a word he said, but the one word that kept on recurring was the word “Kruger,” and it was invariably accompanied with a volley of violent terms. Was I for old Kruger, was I? Did I come to him and want him to help old Kruger? I ought to be ashamed, I was … and here he became once more obscure. The one thing that he made quite clear was that he wouldn’t do anything for Kruger.

“But you ARE Kruger,” burst from my lips, in a natural explosion of reasonableness. “You ARE Kruger, aren’t you?”

After this innocent CRI DE COEUR of mine, I thought at first there would be a fight, and I remembered with regret that the President in early life had had a hobby of killing lions. But really I began to think that I had been mistaken, and that it was not the President after all. There was a confounding sincerity in the anger with which he declared that he was Farmer Bowles, and everybody knowed it. I appeased him eventually and parted from him at the door of his farmhouse, where he left me with a few tags of religion, which again raised my suspicions of his identity. In the coffee-room to which I returned there was an illustrated paper with a picture of President Kruger, and he and Farmer Bowles were as like as two peas. There was a picture also of a group of Outlander leaders, and the faces of them, leering and triumphant, were perhaps unduly darkened by the photograph, but they seemed to me like the faces of a distant and hostile people.

I saw the old man once again on the fierce night of the poll, when he drove down our Liberal lines in a little cart ablaze with the blue Tory ribbons, for he was a man who would carry his colours everywhere. It was evening, and the warm western light was on the grey hair and heavy massive features of that good old man. I knew as one knows a fact of sense that if Spanish and German stockbrokers had flooded his farm or country he would have fought them for ever, not fiercely like an Irishman, but with the ponderous courage and ponderous cunning of the Boer. I knew that without seeing it, as certainly as I knew without seeing it that when he went into the polling room he put his cross against the Conservative name. Then he came out again, having given his vote and looking more like Kruger than ever. And at the same hour on the same night thousands upon thousands of English Krugers gave the same vote. And thus Kruger was pulled down and the dark-faced men in the photograph reigned in his stead.

XX

The Giant

I sometimes fancy that every great city must have been built by night. At least, it is only at night that every part of a great city is great. All architecture is great architecture after sunset; perhaps architecture is really a nocturnal art, like the art of fireworks. At least, I think many people of those nobler trades that work by night (journalists, policemen, burglars, coffee-stall keepers, and such mistaken enthusiasts as refuse to go home till morning) must often have stood admiring some black bulk of building with a crown of battlements or a crest of spires and then burst into tears at daybreak to discover that it was only a haberdasher’s shop with huge gold letters across the face of it.

… . .

I had a sensation of this sort the other day as I happened to be wandering in the Temple Gardens towards the end of twilight. I sat down on a bench with my back to the river, happening to choose such a place that a huge angle and façade of building jutting out from the Strand sat above me like an incubus. I dare say that if I took the same seat to-morrow by daylight I should find the impression entirely false. In sunlight the thing might seem almost distant; but in that half-darkness it seemed as if the walls were almost falling upon me. Never before have I had so strongly the sense which makes people pessimists in politics, the sense of the hopeless height of the high places of the earth. That pile of wealth and power, whatever was its name, went up above and beyond me like a cliff that no living thing could climb. I had an irrational sense that this thing had to be fought, that I had to fight it; and that I could offer nothing to the occasion but an indolent journalist with a walking-stick.

Almost as I had the thought, two windows were lit in that black, blind face. It was as if two eyes had opened in the huge face of a sleeping giant; the eyes were too close together, and gave it the suggestion of a bestial sneer. And either by accident of this light or of some other, I could now read the big letters which spaced themselves across the front; it was the Babylon Hotel. It was the perfect symbol of everything that I should like to pull down with my hands if I could. Reared by a detected robber, it is framed to be the fashionable and luxurious home of undetected robbers. In the house of man are many mansions; but there is a class of men who feel normal nowhere except in the Babylon Hotel or in Dartmoor Gaol. That big black face, which was staring at me with its flaming eyes too close together, that was indeed the giant of all epic and fairy tales. But, alas! I was not the giant-killer; the hour had come, but not the man. I sat down on the seat again (I had had one wild impulse to climb up the front of the hotel and fall in at one of the windows), and I tried to think, as all decent people are thinking, what one can really do. And all the time that oppressive wall went up in front of me, and took hold upon the heavens like a house of the gods.

… . .

It is remarkable that in so many great wars it has been the defeated who have won. The people who were left worst at the end of the war were generally the people who were left best at the end of the whole business. For instance, the Crusades ended in the defeat of the Christians. But they did not end in the decline of the Christians; they ended in the decline of the Saracens. That huge prophetic wave of Moslem power which had hung in the very heavens above the towns of Christendom, that wave was broken, and never came on again. The Crusaders had saved Paris in the act of losing Jerusalem. The same applies to that epic of Republican war in the eighteenth century to which we Liberals owe our political creed. The French Revolution ended in defeat: the kings came back across a carpet of dead at Waterloo. The Revolution had lost its last battle; but it had gained its first object. It had cut a chasm. The world has never been the same since. No one after that has ever been able to treat the poor merely as a pavement.

These jewels of God, the poor, are still treated as mere stones of the street; but as stones that may sometimes fly. If it please God, you and I may see some of the stones flying again before we see death. But here I only remark the interesting fact that the conquered almost always conquer. Sparta killed Athens with a final blow, and she was born again. Sparta went away victorious, and died slowly of her own wounds. The Boers lost the South African War and gained South Africa.

And this is really all that we can do when we fight something really stronger than ourselves; we can deal it its death-wound one moment; it deals us death in the end. It is something if we can shock and jar the unthinking impetus and enormous innocence of evil; just as a pebble on a railway can stagger the Scotch express. It is enough for the great martyrs and criminals of the French revolution, that they have surprised for all time the secret weakness of the strong. They have awakened and set leaping and quivering in his crypt for ever the coward in the hearts of kings.

… . .

When Jack the Giant-Killer really first saw the giant his experience was not such as has been generally supposed. If you care to hear it I will tell you the real story of Jack the Giant-Killer. To begin with, the most awful thing which Jack first felt about the giant was that he was not a giant. He came striding across an interminable wooded plain, and against its remote horizon the giant was quite a small figure, like a figure in a picture—he seemed merely a man walking across the grass. Then Jack was shocked by remembering that the grass which the man was treading down was one of the tallest forests upon that plain. The man came nearer and nearer, growing bigger and bigger, and at the instant when he passed the possible stature of humanity Jack almost screamed. The rest was an intolerable apocalypse.

The giant had the one frightful quality of a miracle; the more he became incredible the more he became solid. The less one could believe in him the more plainly one could see him. It was unbearable that so much of the sky should be occupied by one human face. His eyes, which had stood out like bow windows, became bigger yet, and there was no metaphor that could contain their bigness; yet still they were human eyes. Jack’s intellect was utterly gone under that huge hypnotism of the face that filled the sky; his last hope was submerged, his five wits all still with terror.

But there stood up in him still a kind of cold chivalry, a dignity of dead honour that would not forget the small and futile sword in his hand. He rushed at one of the colossal feet of this human tower, and when he came quite close to it the ankle-bone arched over him like a cave. Then he planted the point of his sword against the foot and leant on it with all his weight, till it went up to the hilt and broke the hilt, and then snapped just under it. And it was plain that the giant felt a sort of prick, for he snatched up his great foot into his great hand for an instant; and then, putting it down again, he bent over and stared at the ground until he had seen his enemy.

Then he picked up Jack between a big finger and thumb and threw him away; and as Jack went through the air he felt as if he were flying from system to system through the universe of stars. But, as the giant had thrown him away carelessly, he did not strike a stone, but struck soft mire by the side of a distant river. There he lay insensible for several hours; but when he awoke again his horrible conqueror was still in sight. He was striding away across the void and wooded plain towards where it ended in the sea; and by this time he was only much higher than any of the hills. He grew less and less indeed; but only as a really high mountain grows at last less and less when we leave it in a railway train. Half an hour afterwards he was a bright blue colour, as are the distant hills; but his outline was still human and still gigantic. Then the big blue figure seemed to come to the brink of the big blue sea, and even as it did so it altered its attitude. Jack, stunned and bleeding, lifted himself laboriously upon one elbow to stare. The giant once more caught hold of his ankle, wavered twice as in a wind, and then went over into the great sea which washes the whole world, and which, alone of all things God has made, was big enough to drown him.

XXI

A Great Man

People accuse journalism of being too personal; but to me it has always seemed far too impersonal. It is charged with tearing away the veils from private life; but it seems to me to be always dropping diaphanous but blinding veils between men and men. The Yellow Press is abused for exposing facts which are private; I wish the Yellow Press did anything so valuable. It is exactly the decisive individual touches that it never gives; and a proof of this is that after one has met a man a million times in the newspapers it is always a complete shock and reversal to meet him in real life. The Yellow Pressman seems to have no power of catching the first fresh fact about a man that dominates all after impressions. For instance, before I met Bernard Shaw I heard that he spoke with a reckless desire for paradox or a sneering hatred of sentiment; but I never knew till he opened his mouth that he spoke with an Irish accent, which is more important than all the other criticisms put together.

Journalism is not personal enough. So far from digging out private personalities, it cannot even report the obvious personalities on the surface. Now there is one vivid and even bodily impression of this kind which we have all felt when we met great poets or politicians, but which never finds its way into the newspapers. I mean the impression that they are much older than we thought they were. We connect great men with their great triumphs, which generally happened some years ago, and many recruits enthusiastic for the thin Napoleon of Marengo must have found themselves in the presence of the fat Napoleon of Leipzic.

I remember reading a newspaper account of how a certain rising politician confronted the House of Lords with the enthusiasm almost of boyhood. It described how his “brave young voice” rang in the rafters. I also remember that I met him some days after, and he was considerably older than my own father. I mention this truth for only one purpose: all this generalisation leads up to only one fact—the fact that I once met a great man who was younger than I expected.

… . .

I had come over the wooded wall from the villages about Epsom, and down a stumbling path between trees towards the valley in which Dorking lies. A warm sunlight was working its way through the leafage; a sunlight which though of saintless gold had taken on the quality of evening. It was such sunlight as reminds a man that the sun begins to set an instant after noon. It seemed to lessen as the wood strengthened and the road sank.

I had a sensation peculiar to such entangled descents; I felt that the treetops that closed above me were the fixed and real things, certain as the level of the sea; but that the solid earth was every instant failing under my feet. In a little while that splendid sunlight showed only in splashes, like flaming stars and suns in the dome of green sky. Around me in that emerald twilight were trunks of trees of every plain or twisted type; it was like a chapel supported on columns of every earthly and unearthly style of architecture.

Without intention my mind grew full of fancies on the nature of the forest; on the whole philosophy of mystery and force. For the meaning of woods is the combination of energy with complexity. A forest is not in the least rude or barbarous; it is only dense with delicacy. Unique shapes that an artist would copy or a philosopher watch for years if he found them in an open plain are here mingled and confounded; but it is not a darkness of deformity. It is a darkness of life; a darkness of perfection. And I began to think how much of the highest human obscurity is like this, and how much men have misunderstood it. People will tell you, for instance, that theology became elaborate because it was dead. Believe me, if it had been dead it would never have become elaborate; it is only the live tree that grows too many branches.

… . .

These trees thinned and fell away from each other, and I came out into deep grass and a road. I remember being surprised that the evening was so far advanced; I had a fancy that this valley had a sunset all to itself. I went along that road according to directions that had been given me, and passed the gateway in a slight paling beyond which the wood changed only faintly to a garden. It was as if the curious courtesy and fineness of that character I was to meet went out from him upon the valley; for I felt on all these things the finger of that quality which the old English called “faërie”; it is the quality which those can never understand who think of the past as merely brutal; it is an ancient elegance such as there is in trees. I went through the garden and saw an old man sitting by a table, looking smallish in his big chair. He was already an invalid, and his hair and beard were both white; not like snow, for snow is cold and heavy, but like something feathery, or even fierce; rather they were white like the white thistledown. I came up quite close to him; he looked at me as he put out his frail hand, and I saw of a sudden that his eyes were startlingly young. He was the one great man of the old world whom I have met who was not a mere statue over his own grave.

He was deaf and he talked like a torrent. He did not talk about the books he had written; he was far too much alive for that. He talked about the books he had not written. He unrolled a purple bundle of romances which he had never had time to sell. He asked me to write one of the stories for him, as he would have asked the milkman, if he had been talking to the milkman. It was a splendid and frantic story, a sort of astronomical farce. It was all about a man who was rushing up to the Royal Society with the only possible way of avoiding an earth-destroying comet; and it showed how, even on this huge errand, the man was tripped up at every other minute by his own weakness and vanities; how he lost a train by trifling or was put in gaol for brawling. That is only one of them; there were ten or twenty more. Another, I dimly remember, was a version of the fall of Parnell; the idea that a quite honest man might be secret from a pure love of secrecy, of solitary self-control. I went out of that garden with a blurred sensation of the million possibilities of creative literature. The feeling increased as my way fell back into the wood; for a wood is a palace with a million corridors that cross each other everywhere. I really had the feeling that I had seen the creative quality; which is supernatural. I had seen what Virgil calls the Old Man of the Forest: I had seen an elf. The trees thronged behind my path; I have never seen him again; and now I shall not see him, because he died last Tuesday.

XXII

The Orthodox Barber

Those thinkers who cannot believe in any gods often assert that the love of humanity would be in itself sufficient for them; and so, perhaps, it would, if they had it. There is a very real thing which may be called the love of humanity; in our time it exists almost entirely among what are called uneducated people; and it does not exist at all among the people who talk about it.

A positive pleasure in being in the presence of any other human being is chiefly remarkable, for instance, in the masses on Bank Holiday; that is why they are so much nearer Heaven (despite appearances) than any other part of our population.

I remember seeing a crowd of factory girls getting into an empty train at a wayside country station. There were about twenty of them; they all got into one carriage; and they left all the rest of the train entirely empty. That is the real love of humanity. That is the definite pleasure in the immediate proximity of one’s own kind. Only this coarse, rank, real love of men seems to be entirely lacking in those who propose the love of humanity as a substitute for all other love; honourable, rationalistic idealists.

I can well remember the explosion of human joy which marked the sudden starting of that train; all the factory girls who could not find seats (and they must have been the majority) relieving their feelings by jumping up and down. Now I have never seen any rationalistic idealists do this. I have never seen twenty modern philosophers crowd into one third-class carriage for the mere pleasure of being together. I have never seen twenty Mr. McCabes all in one carriage and all jumping up and down.

Some people express a fear that vulgar trippers will overrun all beautiful places, such as Hampstead or Burnham Beeches. But their fear is unreasonable; because trippers always prefer to trip together; they pack as close as they can; they have a suffocating passion of philanthropy.

… . .

But among the minor and milder aspects of the same principle, I have no hesitation in placing the problem of the colloquial barber. Before any modern man talks with authority about loving men, I insist (I insist with violence) that he shall always be very much pleased when his barber tries to talk to him. His barber is humanity: let him love that. If he is not pleased at this, I will not accept any substitute in the way of interest in the Congo or the future of Japan. If a man cannot love his barber whom he has seen, how shall he love the Japanese whom he has not seen?

It is urged against the barber that he begins by talking about the weather; so do all dukes and diplomatists, only that they talk about it with ostentatious fatigue and indifference, whereas the barber talks about it with an astonishing, nay incredible, freshness of interest. It is objected to him that he tells people that they are going bald. That is to say, his very virtues are cast up against him; he is blamed because, being a specialist, he is a sincere specialist, and because, being a tradesman, he is not entirely a slave. But the only proof of such things is by example; therefore I will prove the excellence of the conversation of barbers by a specific case. Lest any one should accuse me of attempting to prove it by fictitious means, I beg to say quite seriously that though I forget the exact language employed, the following conversation between me and a human (I trust), living barber really took place a few days ago.

… . .

I had been invited to some At Home to meet the Colonial Premiers, and lest I should be mistaken for some partly reformed bush-ranger out of the interior of Australia I went into a shop in the Strand to get shaved. While I was undergoing the torture the man said to me:

“There seems to be a lot in the papers about this new shaving, sir. It seems you can shave yourself with anything—with a stick or a stone or a pole or a poker” (here I began for the first time to detect a sarcastic intonation) “or a shovel or a----”

Here he hesitated for a word, and I, although I knew nothing about the matter, helped him out with suggestions in the same rhetorical vein.

“Or a button-hook,” I said, “or a blunderbuss or a battering-ram or a piston-rod----”

He resumed, refreshed with this assistance, “Or a curtain rod or a candle-stick, or a----”

“Cow-catcher,” I suggested eagerly, and we continued in this ecstatic duet for some time. Then I asked him what it was all about, and he told me. He explained the thing eloquently and at length.

“The funny part of it is,” he said, “that the thing isn’t new at all. It’s been talked about ever since I was a boy, and long before. There is always a notion that the razor might be done without somehow. But none of those schemes ever came to anything; and I don’t believe myself that this will.”

“Why, as to that,” I said, rising slowly from the chair and trying to put on my coat inside out, “I don’t know how it may be in the case of you and your new shaving. Shaving, with all respect to you, is a trivial and materialistic thing, and in such things startling inventions are sometimes made. But what you say reminds me in some dark and dreamy fashion of something else. I recall it especially when you tell me, with such evident experience and sincerity, that the new shaving is not really new. My friend, the human race is always trying this dodge of making everything entirely easy; but the difficulty which it shifts off one thing it shifts on to another. If one man has not the toil of preparing a man’s chin, I suppose that some other man has the toil of preparing something very curious to put on a man’s chin. It would be nice if we could be shaved without troubling anybody. It would be nicer still if we could go unshaved without annoying anybody—

“‘But, O wise friend, chief Barber of the Strand, Brother, nor you nor I have made the world.’

Whoever made it, who is wiser, and we hope better than we, made it under strange limitations, and with painful conditions of pleasure.

“In the first and darkest of its books it is fiercely written that a man shall not eat his cake and have it; and though all men talked until the stars were old it would still be true that a man who has lost his razor could not shave with it. But every now and then men jump up with the new something or other and say that everything can be had without sacrifice, that bad is good if you are only enlightened, and that there is no real difference between being shaved and not being shaved. The difference, they say, is only a difference of degree; everything is evolutionary and relative. Shavedness is immanent in man. Every ten-penny nail is a Potential Razor. The superstitious people of the past (they say) believed that a lot of black bristles standing out at right angles to one’s face was a positive affair. But the higher criticism teaches us better. Bristles are merely negative. They are a Shadow where Shaving should be.

Well, it all goes on, and I suppose it all means something. But a baby is the Kingdom of God, and if you try to kiss a baby he will know whether you are shaved or not. Perhaps I am mixing up being shaved and being saved; my democratic sympathies have always led me to drop my ‘h’s.’ In another moment I may suggest that goats represent the lost because goats have long beards. This is growing altogether too allegorical.

“Nevertheless,” I added, as I paid the bill, “I have really been profoundly interested in what you told me about the New Shaving. Have you ever heard of a thing called the New theology?”

He smiled and said that he had not.

XXIII

The Toy Theatre

There is only one reason why all grown-up people do not play with toys; and it is a fair reason. The reason is that playing with toys takes so very much more time and trouble than anything else. Playing as children mean playing is the most serious thing in the world; and as soon as we have small duties or small sorrows we have to abandon to some extent so enormous and ambitious a plan of life. We have enough strength for politics and commerce and art and philosophy; we have not enough strength for play. This is a truth which every one will recognize who, as a child, has ever played with anything at all; any one who has played with bricks, any one who has played with dolls, any one who has played with tin soldiers. My journalistic work, which earns money, is not pursued with such awful persistency as that work which earned nothing.

… . .

Take the case of bricks. If you publish a book to-morrow in twelve volumes (it would be just like you) on “The Theory and Practice of European Architecture,” your work may be laborious, but it is fundamentally frivolous. It is not serious as the work of a child piling one brick on the other is serious; for the simple reason that if your book is a bad book no one will ever be able ultimately and entirely to prove to you that it is a bad book. Whereas if his balance of bricks is a bad balance of bricks, it will simply tumble down. And if I know anything of children, he will set to work solemnly and sadly to build it up again. Whereas, if I know anything of authors, nothing would induce you to write your book again, or even to think of it again if you could help it.

Take the case of dolls. It is much easier to care for an educational cause than to care for a doll. It is as easy to write an article on education as to write an article on toffee or tramcars or anything else. But it is almost as difficult to look after a doll as to look after a child. The little girls that I meet in the little streets of Battersea worship their dolls in a way that reminds one not so much of play as idolatry. In some cases the love and care of the artistic symbol has actually become more important than the human reality which it was, I suppose, originally meant to symbolize.

I remember a Battersea little girl who wheeled her large baby sister stuffed into a doll’s perambulator. When questioned on this course of conduct, she replied: “I haven’t got a dolly, and Baby is pretending to be my dolly.” Nature was indeed imitating art. First a doll had been a substitute for a child; afterwards a child was a mere substitute for a doll. But that opens other matters; the point is here that such devotion takes up most of the brain and most of the life; much as if it were really the thing which it is supposed to symbolize. The point is that the man writing on motherhood is merely an educationalist; the child playing with a doll is a mother.

Take the case of soldiers. A man writing an article on military strategy is simply a man writing an article; a horrid sight. But a boy making a campaign with tin soldiers is like a General making a campaign with live soldiers. He must to the limit of his juvenile powers think about the thing; whereas the war correspondent need not think at all. I remember a war correspondent who remarked after the capture of Methuen: “This renewed activity on the part of Delarey is probably due to his being short of stores.” The same military critic had mentioned a few paragraphs before that Delarey was being hard pressed by a column which was pursuing him under the command of Methuen. Methuen chased Delarey; and Delarey’s activity was due to his being short of stores. Otherwise he would have stood quite still while he was chased. I run after Jones with a hatchet, and if he turns round and tries to get rid of me the only possible explanation is that he has a very small balance at his bankers. I cannot believe that any boy playing at soldiers would be as idiotic as this. But then any one playing at anything has to be serious. Whereas, as I have only too good reason to know, if you are writing an article you can say anything that comes into your head.

… . .

Broadly, then, what keeps adults from joining in children’s games is, generally speaking, not that they have no pleasure in them; it is simply that they have no leisure for them. It is that they cannot afford the expenditure of toil and time and consideration for so grand and grave a scheme. I have been myself attempting for some time past to complete a play in a small toy theatre, the sort of toy theatre that used to be called Penny Plain and Twopence Coloured; only that I drew and coloured the figures and scenes myself. Hence I was free from the degrading obligation of having to pay either a penny or twopence; I only had to pay a shilling a sheet for good cardboard and a shilling a box for bad water colours. The kind of miniature stage I mean is probably familiar to every one; it is never more than a development of the stage which Skelt made and Stevenson celebrated.

But though I have worked much harder at the toy theatre than I ever worked at any tale or article, I cannot finish it; the work seems too heavy for me. I have to break off and betake myself to lighter employments; such as the biographies of great men. The play of “St. George and the Dragon,” over which I have burnt the midnight oil (you must colour the thing by lamplight because that is how it will be seen), still lacks most conspicuously, alas! two wings of the Sultan’s Palace, and also some comprehensible and workable way of getting up the curtain.

All this gives me a feeling touching the real meaning of immortality. In this world we cannot have pure pleasure. This is partly because pure pleasure would be dangerous to us and to our neighbours. But it is partly because pure pleasure is a great deal too much trouble. If I am ever in any other and better world, I hope that I shall have enough time to play with nothing but toy theatres; and I hope that I shall have enough divine and superhuman energy to act at least one play in them without a hitch.

… . .

Meanwhile the philosophy of toy theatres is worth any one’s consideration. All the essential morals which modern men need to learn could be deduced from this toy. Artistically considered, it reminds us of the main principle of art, the principle which is in most danger of being forgotten in our time. I mean the fact that art consists of limitation; the fact that art is limitation. Art does not consist in expanding things. Art consists of cutting things down, as I cut down with a pair of scissors my very ugly figures of St. George and the Dragon. Plato, who liked definite ideas, would like my cardboard dragon; for though the creature has few other artistic merits he is at least dragonish. The modern philosopher, who likes infinity, is quite welcome to a sheet of the plain cardboard. The most artistic thing about the theatrical art is the fact that the spectator looks at the whole thing through a window. This is true even of theatres inferior to my own; even at the Court Theatre or His Majesty’s you are looking through a window; an unusually large window. But the advantage of the small theatre exactly is that you are looking through a small window. Has not every one noticed how sweet and startling any landscape looks when seen through an arch? This strong, square shape, this shutting off of everything else is not only an assistance to beauty; it is the essential of beauty. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.

This especially is true of the toy theatre; that, by reducing the scale of events it can introduce much larger events. Because it is small it could easily represent the earthquake in Jamaica. Because it is small it could easily represent the Day of Judgment. Exactly in so far as it is limited, so far it could play easily with falling cities or with falling stars. Meanwhile the big theatres are obliged to be economical because they are big. When we have understood this fact we shall have understood something of the reason why the world has always been first inspired by small nationalities. The vast Greek philosophy could fit easier into the small city of Athens than into the immense Empire of Persia. In the narrow streets of Florence Dante felt that there was room for Purgatory and Heaven and Hell. He would have been stifled by the British Empire. Great empires are necessarily prosaic; for it is beyond human power to act a great poem upon so great a scale. You can only represent very big ideas in very small spaces. My toy theatre is as philosophical as the drama of Athens.

XXIV

A Tragedy of Twopence

My relations with the readers of this page have been long and pleasant, but—perhaps for that very reason— I feel that the time has come when I ought to confess the one great crime of my life. It happened a long time ago; but it is not uncommon for a belated burst of remorse to reveal such dark episodes long after they have occurred. It has nothing to do with the orgies of the Anti-Puritan League. That body is so offensively respectable that a newspaper, in describing it the other day, referred to my friend Mr. Edgar Jepson as Canon Edgar Jepson; and it is believed that similar titles are intended for all of us. No; it is not by the conduct of Archbishop Crane, of Dean Chesterton, of the Rev. James Douglas, of Monsignor Bland, and even of that fine and virile old ecclesiastic, Cardinal Nesbit, that I wish (or rather, am driven by my conscience) to make this declaration. The crime was committed in solitude and without accomplices. Alone I did it. Let me, with the characteristic thirst of penitents to get the worst of the confession over, state it first of all in its most dreadful and indefensible form. There is at the present moment in a town in Germany (unless he has died of rage on discovering his wrong), a restaurant-keeper to whom I still owe twopence. I last left his open-air restaurant knowing that I owed him twopence. I carried it away under his nose, despite the fact that the nose was a decidedly Jewish one. I have never paid him, and it is highly improbable that I ever shall. How did this villainy come to occur in a life which has been, generally speaking, deficient in the dexterity necessary for fraud? The story is as follows—and it has a moral, though there may not be room for that.

… . .

It is a fair general rule for those travelling on the Continent that the easiest way of talking in a foreign language is to talk philosophy. The most difficult kind of talking is to talk about common necessities. The reason is obvious. The names of common necessities vary completely with each nation and are generally somewhat odd and quaint. How, for instance, could a Frenchman suppose that a coalbox would be called a “scuttle”? If he has ever seen the word scuttle it has been in the Jingo Press, where the “policy of scuttle” is used whenever we give up something to a small Power like Liberals, instead of giving up everything to a great Power, like Imperialists. What Englishman in Germany would be poet enough to guess that the Germans call a glove a “hand-shoe.” Nations name their necessities by nicknames, so to speak. They call their tubs and stools by quaint, elvish, and almost affectionate names, as if they were their own children! But any one can argue about abstract things in a foreign language who has ever got as far as Exercise IV. in a primer. For as soon as he can put a sentence together at all he finds that the words used in abstract or philosophical discussions are almost the same in all nations. They are the same, for the simple reason that they all come from the things that were the roots of our common civilisation. From Christianity, from the Roman Empire, from the mediaeval Church, or the French Revolution. “Nation,” “citizen,” “religion,” “philosophy,” “authority,” “the Republic,” words like these are nearly the same in all the countries in which we travel. Restrain, therefore, your exuberant admiration for the young man who can argue with six French atheists when he first lands at Dieppe. Even I can do that. But very likely the same young man does not know the French for a shoe-horn. But to this generalisation there are three great exceptions. (1) In the case of countries that are not European at all, and have never had our civic conceptions, or the old Latin scholarship. I do not pretend that the Patagonian phrase for “citizenship” at once leaps to the mind, or that a Dyak’s word for “the Republic” has been familiar to me from the nursery. (2) In the case of Germany, where, although the principle does apply to many words such as “nation” and “philosophy,” it does not apply so generally, because Germany has had a special and deliberate policy of encouraging the purely German part of its language. (3) In the case where one does not know any of the language at all, as is generally the case with me.

… . .

Such at least was my situation on the dark day on which I committed my crime. Two of the exceptional conditions which I have mentioned were combined. I was walking about a German town, and I knew no German. I knew, however, two or three of those great and solemn words which hold our European civilisation together—one of which is “cigar.” As it was a hot and dreamy day, I sat down at a table in a sort of beer-garden, and ordered a cigar and a pot of lager. I drank the lager, and paid for it. I smoked the cigar, forgot to pay for it, and walked away, gazing rapturously at the royal outline of the Taunus mountains. After about ten minutes, I suddenly remembered that I had not paid for the cigar. I went back to the place of refreshment, and put down the money. But the proprietor also had forgotten the cigar, and he merely said guttural things in a tone of query, asking me, I suppose, what I wanted. I said “cigar,” and he gave me a cigar. I endeavoured while putting down the money to wave away the cigar with gestures of refusal. He thought that my rejection was of the nature of a condemnation of that particular cigar, and brought me another. I whirled my arms like a windmill, seeking to convey by the sweeping universality of my gesture that my rejection was a rejection of cigars in general, not of that particular article. He mistook this for the ordinary impatience of common men, and rushed forward, his hands filled with miscellaneous cigars, pressing them upon me. In desperation I tried other kinds of pantomime, but the more cigars I refused the more and more rare and precious cigars were brought out of the deeps and recesses of the establishment. I tried in vain to think of a way of conveying to him the fact that I had already had the cigar. I imitated the action of a citizen smoking, knocking off and throwing away a cigar. The watchful proprietor only thought I was rehearsing (as in an ecstasy of anticipation) the joys of the cigar he was going to give me. At last I retired baffled: he would not take the money and leave the cigars alone. So that this restaurant-keeper (in whose face a love of money shone like the sun at noonday) flatly and firmly refused to receive the twopence that I certainly owed him; and I took that twopence of his away with me and rioted on it for months. I hope that on the last day the angels will break the truth very gently to that unhappy man.

… . .

This is the true and exact account of the Great Cigar Fraud, and the moral of it is this—that civilisation is founded upon abstractions. The idea of debt is one which cannot be conveyed by physical motions at all, because it is an abstract idea. And civilisation obviously would be nothing without debt. So when hard-headed fellows who study scientific sociology (which does not exist) come and tell you that civilisation is material or indifferent to the abstract, just ask yourselves how many of the things that make up our Society, the Law, or the Stocks and Shares, or the National Debt, you would be able to convey with your face and your ten fingers by grinning and gesticulating to a German innkeeper.

XXV

A Cab Ride Across Country

Sown somewhere far off in the shallow dales of Hertfordshire there lies a village of great beauty, and I doubt not of admirable virtue, but of eccentric and unbalanced literary taste, which asked the present writer to come down to it on Sunday afternoon and give an address.

Now it was very difficult to get down to it at all on Sunday afternoon, owing to the indescribable state into which our national laws and customs have fallen in connection with the seventh day. It is not Puritanism; it is simply anarchy. I should have some sympathy with the Jewish Sabbath, if it were a Jewish Sabbath, and that for three reasons; first, that religion is an intrinsically sympathetic thing; second, that I cannot conceive any religion worth calling a religion without a fixed and material observance; and third, that the particular observance of sitting still and doing no work is one that suits my temperament down to the ground.

But the absurdity of the modern English convention is that it does not let a man sit still; it only perpetually trips him up when it has forced him to walk about. Our Sabbatarianism does not forbid us to ask a man in Battersea to come and talk in Hertfordshire; it only prevents his getting there. I can understand that a deity might be worshipped with joys, with flowers, and fireworks in the old European style. I can understand that a deity might be worshipped with sorrows. But I cannot imagine any deity being worshipped with inconveniences. Let the good Moslem go to Mecca, or let him abide in his tent, according to his feelings for religious symbols. But surely Allah cannot see anything particularly dignified in his servant being misled by the time-table, finding that the old Mecca express is not running, missing his connection at Bagdad, or having to wait three hours in a small side station outside Damascus.

So it was with me on this occasion. I found there was no telegraph service at all to this place; I found there was only one weak thread of train-service. Now if this had been the authority of real English religion, I should have submitted to it at once. If I believed that the telegraph clerk could not send the telegram because he was at that moment rigid in an ecstasy of prayer, I should think all telegrams unimportant in comparison. If I could believe that railway porters when relieved from their duties rushed with passion to the nearest place of worship, I should say that all lectures and everything else ought to give way to such a consideration. I should not complain if the national faith forbade me to make any appointments of labour or self-expression on the Sabbath. But, as it is, it only tells me that I may very probably keep the Sabbath by not keeping the appointment.

… . .

But I must resume the real details of my tale. I found that there was only one train in the whole of that Sunday by which I could even get within several hours or several miles of the time or place. I therefore went to the telephone, which is one of my favourite toys, and down which I have shouted many valuable, but prematurely arrested, monologues upon art and morals. I remember a mild shock of surprise when I discovered that one could use the telephone on Sunday; I did not expect it to be cut off, but I expected it to buzz more than on ordinary days, to the advancement of our national religion. Through this instrument, in fewer words than usual, and with a comparative economy of epigram, I ordered a taxi-cab to take me to the railway station. I have not a word to say in general either against telephones or taxi-cabs; they seem to me two of the purest and most poetic of the creations of modern scientific civilisation. Unfortunately, when the taxi-cab started, it did exactly what modern scientific civilisation has done—it broke down. The result of this was that when I arrived at King’s Cross my only train was gone; there was a Sabbath calm in the station, a calm in the eyes of the porters, and in my breast, if calm at all, if any calm, a calm despair.

There was not, however, very much calm of any sort in my breast on first making the discovery; and it was turned to blinding horror when I learnt that I could not even send a telegram to the organisers of the meeting. To leave my entertainers in the lurch was sufficiently exasperating; to leave them without any intimation was simply low. I reasoned with the official. I said: “Do you really mean to say that if my brother were dying and my mother in this place, I could not communicate with her?” He was a man of literal and laborious mind; he asked me if my brother was dying. I answered that he was in excellent and even offensive health, but that I was inquiring upon a question of principle. What would happen if England were invaded, or if I alone knew how to turn aside a comet or an earthquake. He waved away these hypotheses in the most irresponsible spirit, but he was quite certain that telegrams could not reach this particular village. Then something exploded in me; that element of the outrageous which is the mother of all adventures sprang up ungovernable, and I decided that I would not be a cad merely because some of my remote ancestors had been Calvinists. I would keep my appointment if I lost all my money and all my wits. I went out into the quiet London street, where my quiet London cab was still waiting for its fare in the cold misty morning. I placed myself comfortably in the London cab and told the London driver to drive me to the other end of Hertfordshire. And he did.

… . .

I shall not forget that drive. It was doubtful weather, even in a motor-cab, the thing was possible with any consideration for the driver, not to speak of some slight consideration for the people in the road. I urged the driver to eat and drink something before he started, but he said (with I know not what pride of profession or delicate sense of adventure) that he would rather do it when we arrived— if we ever did. I was by no means so delicate; I bought a varied selection of pork-pies at a little shop that was open (why was that shop open?—it is all a mystery), and ate them as we went along. The beginning was sombre and irritating. I was annoyed, not with people, but with things, like a baby; with the motor for breaking down and with Sunday for being Sunday. And the sight of the northern slums expanded and ennobled, but did not decrease, my gloom: Whitechapel has an Oriental gaudiness in its squalor; Battersea and Camberwell have an indescribable bustle of democracy; but the poor parts of North Londonwell, perhaps I saw them wrongly under that ashen morning and on that foolish errand.

It was one of those days which more than once this year broke the retreat of winter; a winter day that began too late to be spring. We were already clear of the obstructing crowds and quickening our pace through a borderland of market gardens and isolated public-houses, when the grey showed golden patches and a good light began to glitter on everything. The cab went quicker and quicker. The open land whirled wider and wider; but I did not lose my sense of being battled with and thwarted that I had felt in the thronged slums. Rather the feeling increased, because of the great difficulty of space and time. The faster went the car, the fiercer and thicker I felt the fight.

The whole landscape seemed charging at me—and just missing me. The tall, shining grass went by like showers of arrows; the very trees seemed like lances hurled at my heart, and shaving it by a hair’s breadth. Across some vast, smooth valley I saw a beech-tree by the white road stand up little and defiant. It grew bigger and bigger with blinding rapidity. It charged me like a tilting knight, seemed to hack at my head, and pass by. Sometimes when we went round a curve of road, the effect was yet more awful. It seemed as if some tree or windmill swung round to smite like a boomerang. The sun by this time was a blazing fact; and I saw that all Nature is chivalrous and militant. We do wrong to seek peace in Nature; we should rather seek the nobler sort of war; and see all the trees as green banners.

… . .

I gave my address, arriving just when everybody was deciding to leave. When my cab came reeling into the market-place they decided, with evident disappointment, to remain. Over the lecture I draw a veil. When I came back home I was called to the telephone, and a meek voice expressed regret for the failure of the motor-cab, and even said something about any reasonable payment. “Whom can I pay for my own superb experience? What is the usual charge for seeing the clouds shattered by the sun? What is the market price of a tree blue on the sky-line and then blinding white in the sun? Mention your price for that windmill that stood behind the hollyhocks in the garden. Let me pay you for … ” Here it was, I think, that we were cut off.

XXVI

The Two Noises

For three days and three nights the sea had charged England as Napoleon charged her at Waterloo. The phrase is instinctive, because away to the last grey line of the sea there was only the look of galloping squadrons, impetuous, but with a common purpose. The sea came on like cavalry, and when it touched the shore it opened the blazing eyes and deafening tongues of the artillery. I saw the worst assault at night on a seaside parade where the sea smote on the doors of England with the hammers of earthquake, and a white smoke went up into the black heavens. There one could thoroughly realise what an awful thing a wave really is. I talk like other people about the rushing swiftness of a wave. But the horrible thing about a wave is its hideous slowness. It lifts its load of water laboriously: in that style at once slow and slippery in which a Titan might lift a load of rock and then let it slip at last to be shattered into shock of dust. In front of me that night the waves were not like water: they were like falling city walls. The breaker rose first as if it did not wish to attack the earth; it wished only to attack the stars. For a time it stood up in the air as naturally as a tower; then it went a little wrong in its outline, like a tower that might some day fall. When it fell it was as if a powder magazine blew up.

… . .

I have never seen such a sea. All the time there blew across the land one of those stiff and throttling winds that one can lean up against like a wall. One expected anything to be blown out of shape at any instant; the lamp-post to be snapped like a green stalk, the tree to be whirled away like a straw. I myself should certainly have been blown out of shape if I had possessed any shape to be blown out of; for I walked along the edge of the stone embankment above the black and battering sea and could not rid myself of the idea that it was an invasion of England. But as I walked along this edge I was somewhat surprised to find that as I neared a certain spot another noise mingled with the ceaseless cannonade of the sea.

Somewhere at the back, in some pleasure ground or casino or place of entertainment, an undaunted brass band was playing against the cosmic uproar. I do not know what band it was. Judging from the boisterous British Imperialism of most of the airs it played, I should think it was a German band. But there was no doubt about its energy, and when I came quite close under it it really drowned the storm. It was playing such things as “Tommy Atkins” and “You Can Depend on Young Australia,” and many others of which I do not know the words, but I should think they would be “John, Pat, and Mac, With the Union Jack,” or that fine though unwritten poem, “Wait till the Bull Dog gets a bite of you.” Now, I for one detest Imperialism, but I have a great deal of sympathy with Jingoism. And there seemed something so touching about this unbroken and innocent bragging under the brutal menace of Nature that it made, if I may so put it, two tunes in my mind. It is so obvious and so jolly to be optimistic about England, especially when you are an optimist—and an Englishman. But through all that glorious brass came the voice of the invasion, the undertone of that awful sea. I did a foolish thing. As I could not express my meaning in an article, I tried to express it in a poem—a bad one. You can call it what you like. It might be called “Doubt,” or “Brighton.” It might be called “The Patriot,” or yet again “The German Band.” I would call it “The Two Voices,” but that title has been taken for a grossly inferior poem. This is how it began—

“They say the sun is on your knees A lamp to light your lands from harm, They say you turn the seven seas To little brooks about your farm. I hear the sea and the new song that calls you empress all day long.

“(O fallen and fouled! O you that lie Dying in swamps—you shall not die, Your rich have secrets, and stronge lust, Your poor are chased about like dust, Emptied of anger and surprise— And God has gone out of their eyes, Your cohorts break—your captains lie, I say to you, you shall not die.)”

Then I revived a little, remembering that after all there is an English country that the Imperialists have never found. The British Empire may annex what it likes, it will never annex England. It has not even discovered the island, let alone conquered it. I took up the two tunes again with a greater sympathy for the first—

“I know the bright baptismal rains, I love your tender troubled skies, I know your little climbing lanes, Are peering into Paradise, From open hearth to orchard cool, How bountiful and beautiful.

“(O throttled and without a cry, O strangled and stabbed, you shall not die, The frightful word is on your walls, The east sea to the west sea calls, The stars are dying in the sky, You shall not die; you shall not die.)”

Then the two great noises grew deafening together, the noise of the peril of England and the louder noise of the placidity of England. It is their fault if the last verse was written a little rudely and at random—

“I see you how you smile in state Straight from the Peak to Plymouth Bar, You need not tell me you are great, I know how more than great you are. I know what William Shakespeare was, I have seen Gainsborough and the grass.

(O given to believe a lie, O my mad mother, do do not die, Whose eyes turn all ways but within, Whose sin is innocence of sin, Whose eyes, blinded with beams at noon, Can see the motes upon the moon, You shall your lover still pursue. To what last madhouse shelters you I will uphold you, even I. You that are dead. You shall not die.)”

But the sea would not stop for me any more than for Canute; and as for the German band, that would not stop for anybody.

XXVII

Some Policemen and a Moral

The other day I was nearly arrested by two excited policemen in a wood in Yorkshire. I was on a holiday, and was engaged in that rich and intricate mass of pleasures, duties, and discoveries which for the keeping off of the profane, we disguise by the exoteric name of Nothing. At the moment in question I was throwing a big Swedish knife at a tree, practising (alas, without success) that useful trick of knife-throwing by which men murder each other in Stevenson’s romances.

Suddenly the forest was full of two policemen; there was something about their appearance in and relation to the greenwood that reminded me, I know not how, of some happy Elizabethan comedy. They asked what the knife was, who I was, why I was throwing it, what my address was, trade, religion, opinions on the Japanese war, name of favourite cat, and so on. They also said I was damaging the tree; which was, I am sorry to say, not true, because I could not hit it. The peculiar philosophical importance, however, of the incident was this. After some half-hour’s animated conversation, the exhibition of an envelope, an unfinished poem, which was read with great care, and, I trust, with some profit, and one or two other subtle detective strokes, the elder of the two knights became convinced that I really was what I professed to be, that I was a journalist, that I was on the DAILY NEWS (this was the real stroke; they were shaken with a terror common to all tyrants), that I lived in a particular place as stated, and that I was stopping with particular people in Yorkshire, who happened to be wealthy and well-known in the neighbourhood.

In fact the leading constable became so genial and complimentary at last that he ended up by representing himself as a reader of my work. And when that was said, everything was settled. They acquitted me and let me pass.

“But,” I said, “what of this mangled tree? It was to the rescue of that Dryad, tethered to the earth, that you rushed like knight-errants. You, the higher humanitarians, are not deceived by the seeming stillness of the green things, a stillness like the stillness of the cataract, a headlong and crashing silence. You know that a tree is but a creature tied to the ground by one leg. You will not let assassins with their Swedish daggers shed the green blood of such a being. But if so, why am I not in custody; where are my gyves? Produce, from some portion of your persons, my mouldy straw and my grated window. The facts of which I have just convinced you, that my name is Chesterton, that I am a journalist, that I am living with the well-known and philanthropic Mr. Blank of Ilkley, cannot have anything to do with the question of whether I have been guilty of cruelty to vegetables. The tree is none the less damaged even though it may reflect with a dark pride that it was wounded by a gentleman connected with the Liberal press. Wounds in the bark do not more rapidly close up because they are inflicted by people who are stopping with Mr. Blank of Ilkley. That tree, the ruin of its former self, the wreck of what was once a giant of the forest, now splintered and laid low by the brute superiority of a Swedish knife, that tragedy, constable, cannot be wiped out even by stopping for several months more with some wealthy person. It is incredible that you have no legal claim to arrest even the most august and fashionable persons on this charge. For if so, why did you interfere with me at all?”

I made the later and larger part of this speech to the silent wood, for the two policemen had vanished almost as quickly as they came. It is very possible, of course, that they were fairies. In that case the somewhat illogical character of their view of crime, law, and personal responsibility would find a bright and elfish explanation; perhaps if I had lingered in the glade till moonrise I might have seen rings of tiny policemen dancing on the sward; or running about with glow-worm belts, arresting grasshoppers for damaging blades of grass. But taking the bolder hypothesis, that they really were policemen, I find myself in a certain difficulty. I was certainly accused of something which was either an offence or was not. I was let off because I proved I was a guest at a big house. The inference seems painfully clear; either it is not a proof of infamy to throw a knife about in a lonely wood, or else it is a proof of innocence to know a rich man. Suppose a very poor person, poorer even than a journalist, a navvy or unskilled labourer, tramping in search of work, often changing his lodgings, often, perhaps, failing in his rent. Suppose he had been intoxicated with the green gaiety of the ancient wood. Suppose he had thrown knives at trees and could give no description of a dwelling-place except that he had been fired out of the last. As I walked home through a cloudy and purple twilight I wondered how he would have got on.

Moral. We English are always boasting that we are very illogical; there is no great harm in that. There is no subtle spiritual evil in the fact that people always brag about their vices; it is when they begin to brag about their virtues that they become insufferable. But there is this to be said, that illogicality in your constitution or your legal methods may become very dangerous if there happens to be some great national vice or national temptation which many take advantage of the chaos. Similarly, a drunkard ought to have strict rules and hours; a temperate man may obey his instincts.

Take some absurd anomaly in the British law—the fact, for instance, that a man ceasing to be an M. P. has to become Steward of the Chiltern Hundreds, an office which I believe was intended originally to keep down some wild robbers near Chiltern, wherever that is. Obviously this kind of illogicality does not matter very much, for the simple reason that there is no great temptation to take advantage of it. Men retiring from Parliament do not have any furious impulse to hunt robbers in the hills. But if there were a real danger that wise, white-haired, venerable politicians taking leave of public life would desire to do this (if, for instance, there were any money in it), then clearly, if we went on saying that the illogicality did not matter, when (as a matter of fact) Sir Michael Hicks-Beach was hanging Chiltern shop-keepers every day and taking their property, we should be very silly. The illogicality would matter, for it would have become an excuse for indulgence. It is only the very good who can live riotous lives.

Now this is exactly what is present in cases of police investigation such as the one narrated above. There enters into such things a great national sin, a far greater sin than drink—the habit of respecting a gentleman. Snobbishness has, like drink, a kind of grand poetry. And snobbishness has this peculiar and devilish quality of evil, that it is rampant among very kindly people, with open hearts and houses. But it is our great English vice; to be watched more fiercely than small-pox. If a man wished to hear the worst and wickedest thing in England summed up in casual English words, he would not find it in any foul oaths or ribald quarrelling. He would find it in the fact that the best kind of working man, when he wishes to praise any one, calls him “a gentleman.” It never occurs to him that he might as well call him “a marquis,” or “a privy councillor”—that he is simply naming a rank or class, not a phrase for a good man. And this perennial temptation to a shameful admiration, must, and, I think, does, constantly come in and distort and poison our police methods.

In this case we must be logical and exact; for we have to keep watch upon ourselves. The power of wealth, and that power at its vilest, is increasing in the modern world. A very good and just people, without this temptation, might not need, perhaps, to make clear rules and systems to guard themselves against the power of our great financiers. But that is because a very just people would have shot them long ago, from mere native good feeling.

XXVIII

The Lion

In the town of Belfort I take a chair and I sit down in the street. We talk in a cant phrase of the Man in the Street, but the Frenchman is the man in the street. Things quite central for him are connected with these lamp-posts and pavements; everything from his meals to his martyrdoms. When first an Englishman looks at a French town or village his first feeling is simply that it is uglier than an English town or village; when he looks again he sees that this comparative absence of the picturesque is chiefly expressed in the plain, precipitous frontage of the houses standing up hard and flat out of the street like the cardboard houses in a pantomime— a hard angularity allied perhaps to the harshness of French logic. When he looks a third time he sees quite simply that it is all because the houses have no front gardens. The vague English spirit loves to have the entrance to its house softened by bushes and broken by steps. It likes to have a little anteroom of hedges half in the house and half out of it; a green room in a double sense. The Frenchman desires no such little pathetic ramparts or halting places, for the street itself is a thing natural and familiar to him.

… . .

The French have no front gardens; but the street is every man’s front garden. There are trees in the street, and sometimes fountains. The street is the Frenchman’s tavern, for he drinks in the street. It is his dining-room, for he dines in the street. It is his British Museum, for the statues and monuments in French streets are not, as with us, of the worst, but of the best, art of the country, and they are often actually as historical as the Pyramids. The street again is the Frenchman’s Parliament, for France has never taken its Chamber of Deputies so seriously as we take our House of Commons, and the quibbles of mere elected nonentities in an official room seem feeble to a people whose fathers have heard the voice of Desmoulins like a trumpet under open heaven, or Victor Hugo shouting from his carriage amid the wreck of the second Republic. And as the Frenchman drinks in the street and dines in the street so also he fights in the street and dies in the street, so that the street can never be commonplace to him.

Take, for instance, such a simple object as a lamp-post. In London a lamp-post is a comic thing. We think of the intoxicated gentleman embracing it, and recalling ancient friendship. But in Paris a lamp-post is a tragic thing. For we think of tyrants hanged on it, and of an end of the world. There is, or was, a bitter Republican paper in Paris called LA LANTERNE. How funny it would be if there were a Progressive paper in England called THE LAMP POST! We have said, then, that the Frenchman is the man in the street; that he can dine in the street, and die in the street. And if I ever pass through Paris and find him going to bed in the street, I shall say that he is still true to the genius of his civilisation. All that is good and all that is evil in France is alike connected with this open-air element. French democracy and French indecency are alike part of the desire to have everything out of doors. Compared to a café, a public-house is a private house.

… . .

There were two reasons why all these fancies should float through the mind in the streets of this especial town of Belfort. First of all, it lies close upon the boundary of France and Germany, and boundaries are the most beautiful things in the world. To love anything is to love its boundaries; thus children will always play on the edge of anything. They build castles on the edge of the sea, and can only be restrained by public proclamation and private violence from walking on the edge of the grass. For when we have come to the end of a thing we have come to the beginning of it.

Hence this town seemed all the more French for being on the very margin of Germany, and although there were many German touches in the place— German names, larger pots of beer, and enormous theatrical barmaids dressed up in outrageous imitation of Alsatian peasants—yet the fixed French colour seemed all the stronger for these specks of something else. All day long and all night long troops of dusty, swarthy, scornful little soldiers went plodding through the streets with an air of stubborn disgust, for German soldiers look as if they despised you, but French soldiers as if they despised you and themselves even more than you. It is a part, I suppose, of the realism of the nation which has made it good at war and science and other things in which what is necessary is combined with what is nasty. And the soldiers and the civilians alike had most of them cropped hair, and that curious kind of head which to an Englishman looks almost brutal, the kind that we call a bullet-head. Indeed, we are speaking very appropriately when we call it a bullet-head, for in intellectual history the heads of Frenchmen have been bullets—yes, and explosive bullets.

… . .

But there was a second reason why in this place one should think particularly of the open-air politics and the open-air art of the French. For this town of Belfort is famous for one of the most typical and powerful of the public monuments of France. From the café table at which I sit I can see the hill beyond the town on which hangs the high and flat-faced citadel, pierced with many windows, and warmed in the evening light. On the steep hill below it is a huge stone lion, itself as large as a hill. It is hacked out of the rock with a sort of gigantic impression. No trivial attempt has been made to make it like a common statue; no attempt to carve the mane into curls, or to distinguish the monster minutely from the earth out of which he rises, shaking the world. The face of the lion has something of the bold conventionality of Assyrian art. The mane of the lion is left like a shapeless cloud of tempest, as if it might literally be said of him that God had clothed his neck with thunder. Even at this distance the thing looks vast, and in some sense prehistoric. Yet it was carved only a little while ago. It commemorates the fact that this town was never taken by the Germans through all the terrible year, but only laid down its arms at last at the command of its own Government. But the spirit of it has been in this land from the beginning— the spirit of something defiant and almost defeated.

As I leave this place and take the railway into Germany the news comes thicker and thicker up the streets that Southern France is in a flame, and that there perhaps will be fought out finally the awful modern battle of the rich and poor. And as I pass into quieter places for the last sign of France on the sky-line, I see the Lion of Belfort stand at bay, the last sight of that great people which has never been at peace.

XXIX

Humanity: an Interlude

Except for some fine works of art, which seem to be there by accident, the City of Brussels is like a bad Paris, a Paris with everything noble cut out, and everything nasty left in. No one can understand Paris and its history who does not understand that its fierceness is the balance and justification of its frivolity. It is called a city of pleasure; but it may also very specially be called a city of pain. The crown of roses is also a crown of thorns. Its people are too prone to hurt others, but quite ready also to hurt themselves. They are martyrs for religion, they are martyrs for irreligion; they are even martyrs for immorality. For the indecency of many of their books and papers is not of the sort which charms and seduces, but of the sort that horrifies and hurts; they are torturing themselves. They lash their own patriotism into life with the same whips which most men use to lash foreigners to silence. The enemies of France can never give an account of her infamy or decay which does not seem insipid and even polite compared with the things which the Nationalists of France say about their own nation. They taunt and torment themselves; sometimes they even deliberately oppress themselves. Thus, when the mob of Paris could make a Government to please itself, it made a sort of sublime tyranny to order itself about. The spirit is the same from the Crusades or St. Bartholomew to the apotheosis of Zola. The old religionists tortured men physically for a moral truth. The new realists torture men morally for a physical truth.

Now Brussels is Paris without this constant purification of pain. Its indecencies are not regrettable incidents in an everlasting revolution. It has none of the things which make good Frenchmen love Paris; it has only the things which make unspeakable Englishmen love it. It has the part which is cosmopolitan— and narrows; not the part which is Parisian—and universal. You can find there (as commonly happens in modern centres) the worst things of all nations—the DAILY MAIL from England, the cheap philosophies from Germany, the loose novels of France, and the drinks of America. But there is no English broad fun, no German kindly ceremony, no American exhilaration, and, above all, no French tradition of fighting for an idea. Though all the boulevards look like Parisian boulevards, though all the shops look like Parisian shops, you cannot look at them steadily for two minutes without feeling the full distance between, let us say, King Leopold and fighters like Clemenceau and Deroulède.

… . .

For all these reasons, and many more, when I had got into Brussels I began to make all necessary arrangements for getting out of it again; and I had impulsively got into a tram which seemed to be going out of the city. In this tram there were two men talking; one was a little man with a black French beard; the other was a baldish man with bushy whiskers, like the financial foreign count in a three-act farce. And about the time that we reached the suburb of the city, and the traffic grew thinner, and the noises more few, I began to hear what they were saying. Though they spoke French quickly, their words were fairly easy to follow, because they were all long words. Anybody can understand long words because they have in them all the lucidity of Latin.

The man with the black beard said: “It must that we have the Progress.”

The man with the whiskers parried this smartly by saying: “It must also that we have the Consolidation International.”

This is a sort of discussion which I like myself, so I listened with some care, and I think I picked up the thread of it. One of the Belgians was a Little Belgian, as we speak of a Little Englander. The other was a Belgian Imperialist, for though Belgium is not quite strong enough to be altogether a nation, she is quite strong enough to be an empire. Being a nation means standing up to your equals, whereas being an empire only means kicking your inferiors. The man with whiskers was the Imperialist, and he was saying: “The science, behold there the new guide of humanity.”

And the man with the beard answered him: “It does not suffice to have progress in the science; one must have it also in the sentiment of the human justice.”

This remark I applauded, as if at a public meeting, but they were much too keen on their argument to hear me. The views I have often heard in England, but never uttered so lucidly, and certainly never so fast. Though Belgian by nation they must both have been essentially French. Whiskers was great on education, which, it seems, is on the march. All the world goes to make itself instructed. It must that the more instructed enlighten the less instructed. Eh, well then, the European must impose upon the savage the science and the light. Also (apparently) he must impose himself on the savage while he is about it. To-day one travelled quickly. The science had changed all. For our fathers, they were religious, and (what was worse) dead. To-day humanity had electricity to the hand; the machines came from triumphing; all the lines and limits of the globe effaced themselves. Soon there would not be but the great Empires and confederations, guided by the science, always the science.

Here Whiskers stopped an instant for breath; and the man with the sentiment for human justice had “la parole” off him in a flash. Without doubt Humanity was on the march, but towards the sentiments, the ideal, the methods moral and pacific. Humanity directed itself towards Humanity. For your wars and empires on behalf of civilisation, what were they in effect? The war, was it not itself an affair of the barbarism? The Empires were they not things savage? The Humanity had passed all that; she was now intellectual. Tolstoy had refined all human souls with the sentiments the most delicate and just. Man was become a spirit; the wings pushed… .

… . .

At this important point of evolution the tram came to a jerky stoppage; and staring around I found, to my stunned consternation, that it was almost dark, that I was far away from Brussels, that I could not dream of getting back to dinner; in short, that through the clinging fascination of this great controversy on Humanity and its recent complete alteration by science or Tolstoy, I had landed myself Heaven knows where. I dropped hastily from the suburban tram and let it go on without me.

I was alone in the flat fields out of sight of the city. On one side of the road was one of those small, thin woods which are common in all countries, but of which, by a coincidence, the mystical painters of Flanders were very fond. The night was closing in with cloudy purple and grey; there was one ribbon of silver, the last rag of the sunset. Through the wood went one little path, and somehow it suggested that it might lead to some sign of life— there was no other sign of life on the horizon. I went along it, and soon sank into a sort of dancing twilight of all those tiny trees. There is something subtle and bewildering about that sort of frail and fantastic wood. A forest of big trees seems like a bodily barrier; but somehow that mist of thin lines seems like a spiritual barrier. It is as if one were caught in a fairy cloud or could not pass a phantom. When I had well lost the last gleam of the high road a curious and definite feeling came upon me. Now I suddenly felt something much more practical and extraordinary—the absence of humanity: inhuman loneliness. Of course, there was nothing really lost in my state; but the mood may hit one anywhere. I wanted men— any men; and I felt our awful alliance over all the globe. And at last, when I had walked for what seemed a long time, I saw a light too near the earth to mean anything except the image of God.

I came out on a clear space and a low, long cottage, the door of which was open, but was blocked by a big grey horse, who seemed to prefer to eat with his head inside the sitting-room. I got past him, and found he was being fed by a young man who was sitting down and drinking beer inside, and who saluted me with heavy rustic courtesy, but in a strange tongue. The room was full of staring faces like owls, and these I traced at length as belonging to about six small children. Their father was still working in the fields, but their mother rose when I entered. She smiled, but she and all the rest spoke some rude language, Flamand, I suppose; so that we had to be kind to each other by signs. She fetched me beer, and pointed out my way with her finger; and I drew a picture to please the children; and as it was a picture of two men hitting each other with swords, it pleased them very much. Then I gave a Belgian penny to each child, for as I said on chance in French, “It must be that we have the economic equality.” But they had never heard of economic equality, while all Battersea workmen have heard of economic equality, though it is true that they haven’t got it.

I found my way back to the city, and some time afterwards I actually saw in the street my two men talking, no doubt still saying, one that Science had changed all in Humanity, and the other that Humanity was now pushing the wings of the purely intellectual. But for me Humanity was hooked on to an accidental picture. I thought of a low and lonely house in the flats, behind a veil or film of slight trees, a man breaking the ground as men have broken from the first morning, and a huge grey horse champing his food within a foot of a child’s head, as in the stable where Christ was born.

XXX

The Little Birds Who Won’t Sing

On my last morning on the Flemish coast, when I knew that in a few hours I should be in England, my eye fell upon one of the details of Gothic carving of which Flanders is full. I do not know whether the thing is old, though it was certainly knocked about and indecipherable, but at least it was certainly in the style and tradition of the early Middle Ages. It seemed to represent men bending themselves (not to say twisting themselves) to certain primary employments. Some seemed to be sailors tugging at ropes; others, I think, were reaping; others were energetically pouring something into something else. This is entirely characteristic of the pictures and carvings of the early thirteenth century, perhaps the most purely vigorous time in all history. The great Greeks preferred to carve their gods and heroes doing nothing. Splendid and philosophic as their composure is there is always about it something that marks the master of many slaves. But if there was one thing the early mediaevals liked it was representing people doing something— hunting or hawking, or rowing boats, or treading grapes, or making shoes, or cooking something in a pot. “Quicquid agunt homines, votum, timor, ira voluptas.” (I quote from memory.) The Middle Ages is full of that spirit in all its monuments and manuscripts. Chaucer retains it in his jolly insistence on everybody’s type of trade and toil. It was the earliest and youngest resurrection of Europe, the time when social order was strengthening, but had not yet become oppressive; the time when religious faiths were strong, but had not yet been exasperated. For this reason the whole effect of Greek and Gothic carving is different. The figures in the Elgin marbles, though often reining their steeds for an instant in the air, seem frozen for ever at that perfect instant. But a mass of mediaeval carving seems actually a sort of bustle or hubbub in stone. Sometimes one cannot help feeling that the groups actually move and mix, and the whole front of a great cathedral has the hum of a huge hive.

… . .

But about these particular figures there was a peculiarity of which I could not be sure. Those of them that had any heads had very curious heads, and it seemed to me that they had their mouths open. Whether or no this really meant anything or was an accident of nascent art I do not know; but in the course of wondering I recalled to my mind the fact that singing was connected with many of the tasks there suggested, that there were songs for reapers and songs for sailors hauling ropes. I was still thinking about this small problem when I walked along the pier at Ostend; and I heard some sailors uttering a measured shout as they laboured, and I remembered that sailors still sing in chorus while they work, and even sing different songs according to what part of their work they are doing. And a little while afterwards, when my sea journey was over, the sight of men working in the English fields reminded me again that there are still songs for harvest and for many agricultural routines. And I suddenly wondered why if this were so it should be quite unknown, for any modern trade to have a ritual poetry. How did people come to chant rude poems while pulling certain ropes or gathering certain fruit, and why did nobody do anything of the kind while producing any of the modern things? Why is a modern newspaper never printed by people singing in chorus? Why do shopmen seldom, if ever, sing?

… . .

If reapers sing while reaping, why should not auditors sing while auditing and bankers while banking? If there are songs for all the separate things that have to be done in a boat, why are there not songs for all the separate things that have to be done in a bank? As the train from Dover flew through the Kentish gardens, I tried to write a few songs suitable for commercial gentlemen. Thus, the work of bank clerks when casting up columns might begin with a thundering chorus in praise of Simple Addition.

“Up my lads and lift the ledgers, sleep and ease are o’er. Hear the Stars of Morning shouting: ‘Two and Two are four.’ Though the creeds and realms are reeling, though the sophists roar, Though we weep and pawn our watches, Two and Two are Four.”

“There’s a run upon the Bank—Stand away! For the Manager’s a crank and the Secretary drank, and the Upper Tooting Bank Turns to bay! Stand close: there is a run On the Bank. Of our ship, our royal one, let the ringing legend run, that she fired with every gun Ere she sank.

… . .

And as I came into the cloud of London I met a friend of mine who actually is in a bank, and submitted these suggestions in rhyme to him for use among his colleagues. But he was not very hopeful about the matter. It was not (he assured me) that he underrated the verses, or in any sense lamented their lack of polish. No; it was rather, he felt, an indefinable something in the very atmosphere of the society in which we live that makes it spiritually difficult to sing in banks. And I think he must be right; though the matter is very mysterious. I may observe here that I think there must be some mistake in the calculations of the Socialists. They put down all our distress, not to a moral tone, but to the chaos of private enterprise. Now, banks are private; but post-offices are Socialistic: therefore I naturally expected that the post-office would fall into the collectivist idea of a chorus. Judge of my surprise when the lady in my local post-office (whom I urged to sing) dismissed the idea with far more coldness than the bank clerk had done. She seemed indeed, to be in a considerably greater state of depression than he. Should any one suppose that this was the effect of the verses themselves, it is only fair to say that the specimen verse of the Post-Office Hymn ran thus:

“O’er London our letters are shaken like snow, Our wires o’er the world like the thunderbolts go. The news that may marry a maiden in Sark, Or kill an old lady in Finsbury Park.”

Chorus (with a swing of joy and energy):

“Or kill an old lady in Finsbury Park.”

And the more I thought about the matter the more painfully certain it seemed that the most important and typical modern things could not be done with a chorus. One could not, for instance, be a great financier and sing; because the essence of being a great financier is that you keep quiet. You could not even in many modern circles be a public man and sing; because in those circles the essence of being a public man is that you do nearly everything in private. Nobody would imagine a chorus of money-lenders. Every one knows the story of the solicitors’ corps of volunteers who, when the Colonel on the battlefield cried “Charge!” all said simultaneously, “Six-and-eightpence.” Men can sing while charging in a military, but hardly in a legal sense. And at the end of my reflections I had really got no further than the sub-conscious feeling of my friend the bank-clerk— that there is something spiritually suffocating about our life; not about our laws merely, but about our life. Bank-clerks are without songs, not because they are poor, but because they are sad. Sailors are much poorer. As I passed homewards I passed a little tin building of some religious sort, which was shaken with shouting as a trumpet is torn with its own tongue. THEY were singing anyhow; and I had for an instant a fancy I had often had before: that with us the super-human is the only place where you can find the human. Human nature is hunted and has fled into sanctuary.

XXXI

The Riddle of the Ivy

More than a month ago, when I was leaving London for a holiday, a friend walked into my flat in Battersea and found me surrounded with half-packed luggage.

“You seem to be off on your travels,” he said. “Where are you going?”

With a strap between my teeth I replied, “To Battersea.”

“The wit of your remark,” he said, “wholly escapes me.”

“I am going to Battersea,” I repeated, “to Battersea viâ Paris, Belfort, Heidelberg, and Frankfort. My remark contained no wit. It contained simply the truth. I am going to wander over the whole world until once more I find Battersea. Somewhere in the seas of sunset or of sunrise, somewhere in the ultimate archipelago of the earth, there is one little island which I wish to find: an island with low green hills and great white cliffs. Travellers tell me that it is called England (Scotch travellers tell me that it is called Britain), and there is a rumour that somewhere in the heart of it there is a beautiful place called Battersea.”

“I suppose it is unnecessary to tell you,” said my friend, with an air of intellectual comparison, “that this is Battersea?”

“It is quite unnecessary,” I said, “and it is spiritually untrue. I cannot see any Battersea here; I cannot see any London or any England. I cannot see that door. I cannot see that chair: because a cloud of sleep and custom has come across my eyes. The only way to get back to them is to go somewhere else; and that is the real object of travel and the real pleasure of holidays. Do you suppose that I go to France in order to see France? Do you suppose that I go to Germany in order to see Germany? I shall enjoy them both; but it is not them that I am seeking. I am seeking Battersea. The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land. Now I warn you that this Gladstone bag is compact and heavy, and that if you utter that word ‘paradox’ I shall hurl it at your head. I did not make the world, and I did not make it paradoxical. It is not my fault, it is the truth, that the only way to go to England is to go away from it.”

But when, after only a month’s travelling, I did come back to England, I was startled to find that I had told the exact truth. England did break on me at once beautifully new and beautifully old. To land at Dover is the right way to approach England (most things that are hackneyed are right), for then you see first the full, soft gardens of Kent, which are, perhaps, an exaggeration, but still a typical exaggeration, of the rich rusticity of England. As it happened, also, a fellow-traveller with whom I had fallen into conversation felt the same freshness, though for another cause. She was an American lady who had seen Europe, and had never yet seen England, and she expressed her enthusiasm in that simple and splendid way which is natural to Americans, who are the most idealistic people in the whole world. Their only danger is that the idealist can easily become the idolator. And the American has become so idealistic that he even idealises money. But (to quote a very able writer of American short stories) that is another story.

“I have never been in England before,” said the American lady, “yet it is so pretty that I feel as if I have been away from it for a long time.”

“So you have,” I said; “you have been away for three hundred years.”

“What a lot of ivy you have,” she said. “It covers the churches and it buries the houses. We have ivy; but I have never seen it grow like that.”

“I am interested to hear it,” I replied, “for I am making a little list of all the things that are really better in England. Even a month on the Continent, combined with intelligence, will teach you that there are many things that are better abroad. All the things that the DAILY MAIL calls English are better abroad. But there are things entirely English and entirely good. Kippers, for instance, and Free Trade, and front gardens, and individual liberty, and the Elizabethan drama, and hansom cabs, and cricket, and Mr. Will Crooks. Above all, there is the happy and holy custom of eating a heavy breakfast. I cannot imagine that Shakespeare began the day with rolls and coffee, like a Frenchman or a German. Surely he began with bacon or bloaters. In fact, a light bursts upon me; for the first time I see the real meaning of Mrs. Gallup and the Great Cipher. It is merely a mistake in the matter of a capital letter. I withdraw my objections; I accept everything; bacon did write Shakespeare.”

“I cannot look at anything but the ivy,” she said, “it looks so comfortable.”

While she looked at the ivy I opened for the first time for many weeks an English newspaper, and I read a speech of Mr. Balfour in which he said that the House of Lords ought to be preserved because it represented something in the nature of permanent public opinion of England, above the ebb and flow of the parties. Now Mr. Balfour is a perfectly sincere patriot, a man who, from his own point of view, thinks long and seriously about the public needs, and he is, moreover, a man of entirely exceptionable intellectual power. But alas, in spite of all this, when I had read that speech I thought with a heavy heart that there was one more thing that I had to add to the list of the specially English things, such as kippers and cricket; I had to add the specially English kind of humbug. In France things are attacked and defended for what they are. The Catholic Church is attacked because it is Catholic, and defended because it is Catholic. The Republic is defended because it is Republican, and attacked because it is Republican. But here is the ablest of English politicians consoling everybody by telling them that the House of Lords is not really the House of Lords, but something quite different, that the foolish accidental peers whom he meets every night are in some mysterious way experts upon the psychology of the democracy; that if you want to know what the very poor want you must ask the very rich, and that if you want the truth about Hoxton, you must ask for it at Hatfield. If the Conservative defender of the House of Lords were a logical French politician he would simply be a liar. But being an English politician he is simply a poet. The English love of believing that all is as it should be, the English optimism combined with the strong English imagination, is too much even for the obvious facts. In a cold, scientific sense, of course, Mr. Balfour knows that nearly all the Lords who are not Lords by accident are Lords by bribery. He knows, and (as Mr. Belloc excellently said) everybody in Parliament knows the very names of the peers who have purchased their peerages. But the glamour of comfort, the pleasure of reassuring himself and reassuring others, is too strong for this original knowledge; at last it fades from him, and he sincerely and earnestly calls on Englishmen to join with him in admiring an august and public-spirited Senate, having wholly forgotten that the Senate really consists of idiots whom he has himself despised; and adventurers whom he has himself ennobled.

“Your ivy is so beautifully soft and thick,” said the American lady, “it seems to cover almost everything. It must be the most poetical thing in England.”

“It is very beautiful,” I said, “and, as you say, it is very English. Charles Dickens, who was almost more English than England, wrote one of his rare poems about the beauty of ivy. Yes, by all means let us admire the ivy, so deep, so warm, so full of a genial gloom and a grotesque tenderness. Let us admire the ivy; and let us pray to God in His mercy that it may not kill the tree.”

XXXII

The Travellers in State

The other day, to my great astonishment, I caught a train; it was a train going into the Eastern Counties, and I only just caught it. And while I was running along the train (amid general admiration) I noticed that there were a quite peculiar and unusual number of carriages marked “Engaged.” On five, six, seven, eight, nine carriages was pasted the little notice: at five, six, seven, eight, nine windows were big bland men staring out in the conscious pride of possession. Their bodies seemed more than usually impenetrable, their faces more than usual placid. It could not be the Derby, if only for the minor reasons that it was the opposite direction and the wrong day. It could hardly be the King. It could hardly be the French President. For, though these distinguished persons naturally like to be private for three hours, they are at least public for three minutes. A crowd can gather to see them step into the train; and there was no crowd here, or any police ceremonial.

Who were those awful persons, who occupied more of the train than a bricklayer’s beanfeast, and yet were more fastidious and delicate than the King’s own suite? Who were these that were larger than a mob, yet more mysterious than a monarch? Was it possible that instead of our Royal House visiting the Tsar, he was really visiting us? Or does the House of Lords have a breakfast? I waited and wondered until the train slowed down at some station in the direction of Cambridge. Then the large, impenetrable men got out, and after them got out the distinguished holders of the engaged seats. They were all dressed decorously in one colour; they had neatly cropped hair; and they were chained together.

I looked across the carriage at its only other occupant, and our eyes met. He was a small, tired-looking man, and, as I afterwards learnt, a native of Cambridge; by the look of him, some working tradesman there, such as a journeyman tailor or a small clock-mender. In order to make conversation I said I wondered where the convicts were going. His mouth twitched with the instinctive irony of our poor, and he said: “I don’t s’pose they’re goin’ on an ‘oliday at the seaside with little spades and pails.” I was naturally delighted, and, pursuing the same vein of literary invention, I suggested that perhaps dons were taken down to Cambridge chained together like this. And as he lived in Cambridge, and had seen several dons, he was pleased with such a scheme. Then when we had ceased to laugh, we suddenly became quite silent; and the bleak, grey eyes of the little man grew sadder and emptier than an open sea. I knew what he was thinking, because I was thinking the same, because all modern sophists are only sophists, and there is such a thing as mankind. Then at last (and it fell in as exactly as the right last note of a tune one is trying to remember) he said: “Well, I s’pose we ‘ave to do it.” And in those three things, his first speech and his silence and his second speech, there were all the three great fundamental facts of the English democracy, its profound sense of humour, its profound sense of pathos, and its profound sense of helplessness.

… . .

It cannot be too often repeated that all real democracy is an attempt (like that of a jolly hostess) to bring the shy people out. For every practical purpose of a political state, for every practical purpose of a tea-party, he that abaseth himself must be exalted. At a tea-party it is equally obvious that he that exalteth himself must be abased, if possible without bodily violence. Now people talk of democracy as being coarse and turbulent: it is a self-evident error in mere history. Aristocracy is the thing that is always coarse and turbulent: for it means appealing to the self-confident people. Democracy means appealing to the different people. Democracy means getting those people to vote who would never have the cheek to govern: and (according to Christian ethics) the precise people who ought to govern are the people who have not the cheek to do it. There is a strong example of this truth in my friend in the train. The only two types we hear of in this argument about crime and punishment are two very rare and abnormal types.

We hear of the stark sentimentalist, who talks as if there were no problem at all: as if physical kindness would cure everything: as if one need only pat Nero and stroke Ivan the Terrible. This mere belief in bodily humanitarianism is not sentimental; it is simply snobbish. For if comfort gives men virtue, the comfortable classes ought to be virtuous—which is absurd. Then, again, we do hear of the yet weaker and more watery type of sentimentalists: I mean the sentimentalist who says, with a sort of splutter, “Flog the brutes!” or who tells you with innocent obscenity “what he would do” with a certain man— always supposing the man’s hands were tied.

This is the more effeminate type of the two; but both are weak and unbalanced. And it is only these two types, the sentimental humanitarian and the sentimental brutalitarian, whom one hears in the modern babel. Yet you very rarely meet either of them in a train. You never meet anyone else in a controversy. The man you meet in a train is like this man that I met: he is emotionally decent, only he is intellectually doubtful. So far from luxuriating in the loathsome things that could be “done” to criminals, he feels bitterly how much better it would be if nothing need be done. But something must be done. “I s’pose we ‘ave to do it.” In short, he is simply a sane man, and of a sane man there is only one safe definition. He is a man who can have tragedy in his heart and comedy in his head.

… . .

Now the real difficulty of discussing decently this problem of the proper treatment of criminals is that both parties discuss the matter without any direct human feeling. The denouncers of wrong are as cold as the organisers of wrong. Humanitarianism is as hard as inhumanity.

Let me take one practical instance. I think the flogging arranged in our modern prisons is a filthy torture; all its scientific paraphernalia, the photographing, the medical attendance, prove that it goes to the last foul limit of the boot and rack. The cat is simply the rack without any of its intellectual reasons. Holding this view strongly, I open the ordinary humanitarian books or papers and I find a phrase like this, “The lash is a relic of barbarism.” So is the plough. So is the fishing net. So is the horn or the staff or the fire lit in winter. What an inexpressibly feeble phrase for anything one wants to attack—a relic of barbarism! It is as if a man walked naked down the street to-morrow, and we said that his clothes were not quite in the latest fashion. There is nothing particularly nasty about being a relic of barbarism. Man is a relic of barbarism. Civilisation is a relic of barbarism.

But torture is not a relic of barbarism at all. In actuality it is simply a relic of sin; but in comparative history it may well be called a relic of civilisation. It has always been most artistic and elaborate when everything else was most artistic and elaborate. Thus it was detailed exquisite in the late Roman Empire, in the complex and gorgeous sixteenth century, in the centralised French monarchy a hundred years before the Revolution, and in the great Chinese civilisation to this day. This is, first and last, the frightful thing we must remember. In so far as we grow instructed and refined we are not (in any sense whatever) naturally moving away from torture. We may be moving towards torture. We must know what we are doing, if we are to avoid the enormous secret cruelty which has crowned every historic civilisation.

The train moves more swiftly through the sunny English fields. They have taken the prisoners away, and I do not know what they have done with them.

XXXIII

The Prehistoric Railway Station

A railway station is an admirable place, although Ruskin did not think so; he did not think so because he himself was even more modern than the railway station. He did not think so because he was himself feverish, irritable, and snorting like an engine. He could not value the ancient silence of the railway station.

“In a railway station,” he said, “you are in a hurry, and therefore, miserable”; but you need not be either unless you are as modern as Ruskin. The true philosopher does not think of coming just in time for his train except as a bet or a joke.

The only way of catching a train I have ever discovered is to be late for the one before. Do this, and you will find in a railway station much of the quietude and consolation of a cathedral. It has many of the characteristics of a great ecclesiastical building; it has vast arches, void spaces, coloured lights, and, above all, it has recurrence or ritual. It is dedicated to the celebration of water and fire the two prime elements of all human ceremonial. Lastly, a station resembles the old religions rather than the new religions in this point, that people go there. In connection with this it should also be remembered that all popular places, all sites, actually used by the people, tend to retain the best routine of antiquity very much more than any localities or machines used by any privileged class. Things are not altered so quickly or completely by common people as they are by fashionable people. Ruskin could have found more memories of the Middle Ages in the Underground Railway than in the grand hotels outside the stations. The great palaces of pleasure which the rich build in London all have brazen and vulgar names. Their names are either snobbish, like the Hotel Cecil, or (worse still) cosmopolitan like the Hotel Metropole. But when I go in a third-class carriage from the nearest circle station to Battersea to the nearest circle station to the DAILY NEWS, the names of the stations are one long litany of solemn and saintly memories. Leaving Victoria I come to a park belonging especially to St. James the Apostle; thence I go to Westminster Bridge, whose very name alludes to the awful Abbey; Charing Cross holds up the symbol of Christendom; the next station is called a Temple; and Blackfriars remembers the mediaeval dream of a Brotherhood.

If you wish to find the past preserved, follow the million feet of the crowd. At the worst the uneducated only wear down old things by sheer walking. But the educated kick them down out of sheer culture.

I feel all this profoundly as I wander about the empty railway station, where I have no business of any kind. I have extracted a vast number of chocolates from automatic machines; I have obtained cigarettes, toffee, scent, and other things that I dislike by the same machinery; I have weighed myself, with sublime results; and this sense, not only of the healthiness of popular things, but of their essential antiquity and permanence, is still in possession of my mind. I wander up to the bookstall, and my faith survives even the wild spectacle of modern literature and journalism. Even in the crudest and most clamorous aspects of the newspaper world I still prefer the popular to the proud and fastidious. If I had to choose between taking in the DAILY MAIL and taking in the TIMES (the dilemma reminds one of a nightmare), I should certainly cry out with the whole of my being for the DAILY MAIL. Even mere bigness preached in a frivolous way is not so irritating as mere meanness preached in a big and solemn way. People buy the DAILY MAIL, but they do not believe in it. They do believe in the TIMES, and (apparently) they do not buy it. But the more the output of paper upon the modern world is actually studied, the more it will be found to be in all its essentials ancient and human, like the name of Charing Cross. Linger for two or three hours at a station bookstall (as I am doing), and you will find that it gradually takes on the grandeur and historic allusiveness of the Vatican or Bodleian Library. The novelty is all superficial; the tradition is all interior and profound. The DAILY MAIL has new editions, but never a new idea. Everything in a newspaper that is not the old human love of altar or fatherland is the old human love of gossip. Modern writers have often made game of the old chronicles because they chiefly record accidents and prodigies; a church struck by lightning, or a calf with six legs. They do not seem to realise that this old barbaric history is the same as new democratic journalism. It is not that the savage chronicle has disappeared. It is merely that the savage chronicle now appears every morning.

As I moved thus mildly and vaguely in front of the bookstall, my eye caught a sudden and scarlet title that for the moment staggered me. On the outside of a book I saw written in large letters, “Get On or Get Out.” The title of the book recalled to me with a sudden revolt and reaction all that does seem unquestionably new and nasty; it reminded me that there was in the world of to-day that utterly idiotic thing, a worship of success; a thing that only means surpassing anybody in anything; a thing that may mean being the most successful person in running away from a battle; a thing that may mean being the most successfully sleepy of the whole row of sleeping men. When I saw those words the silence and sanctity of the railway station were for the moment shadowed. Here, I thought, there is at any rate something anarchic and violent and vile. This title, at any rate, means the most disgusting individualism of this individualistic world. In the fury of my bitterness and passion I actually bought the book, thereby ensuring that my enemy would get some of my money. I opened it prepared to find some brutality, some blasphemy, which would really be an exception to the general silence and sanctity of the railway station. I was prepared to find something in the book that was as infamous as its title.

I was disappointed. There was nothing at all corresponding to the furious decisiveness of the remarks on the cover. After reading it carefully I could not discover whether I was really to get on or to get out; but I had a vague feeling that I should prefer to get out. A considerable part of the book, particularly towards the end, was concerned with a detailed description of the life of Napoleon Bonaparte. Undoubtedly Napoleon got on. He also got out. But I could not discover in any way how the details of his life given here were supposed to help a person aiming at success. One anecdote described how Napoleon always wiped his pen on his knee-breeches. I suppose the moral is: always wipe your pen on your knee-breeches, and you will win the battle of Wagram. Another story told that he let loose a gazelle among the ladies of his Court. Clearly the brutal practical inference is— loose a gazelle among the ladies of your acquaintance, and you will be Emperor of the French. Get on with a gazelle or get out. The book entirely reconciled me to the soft twilight of the station. Then I suddenly saw that there was a symbolic division which might be paralleled from biology. Brave men are vertebrates; they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle. But these modern cowards are all crustaceans; their hardness is all on the cover and their softness is inside. But the softness is there; everything in this twilight temple is soft.

XXXIV

The Diabolist

Every now and then I have introduced into my essays an element of truth. Things that really happened have been mentioned, such as meeting President Kruger or being thrown out of a cab. What I have now to relate really happened; yet there was no element in it of practical politics or of personal danger. It was simply a quiet conversation which I had with another man. But that quiet conversation was by far the most terrible thing that has ever happened to me in my life. It happened so long ago that I cannot be certain of the exact words of the dialogue, only of its main questions and answers; but there is one sentence in it for which I can answer absolutely and word for word. It was a sentence so awful that I could not forget it if I would. It was the last sentence spoken; and it was not spoken to me.

The thing befell me in the days when I was at an art school. An art school is different from almost all other schools or colleges in this respect: that, being of new and crude creation and of lax discipline, it presents a specially strong contrast between the industrious and the idle. People at an art school either do an atrocious amount of work or do no work at all. I belonged, along with other charming people, to the latter class; and this threw me often into the society of men who were very different from myself, and who were idle for reasons very different from mine. I was idle because I was very much occupied; I was engaged about that time in discovering, to my own extreme and lasting astonishment, that I was not an atheist. But there were others also at loose ends who were engaged in discovering what Carlyle called (I think with needless delicacy) the fact that ginger is hot in the mouth.

I value that time, in short, because it made me acquainted with a good representative number of blackguards. In this connection there are two very curious things which the critic of human life may observe. The first is the fact that there is one real difference between men and women; that women prefer to talk in twos, while men prefer to talk in threes. The second is that when you find (as you often do) three young cads and idiots going about together and getting drunk together every day you generally find that one of the three cads and idiots is (for some extraordinary reason) not a cad and not an idiot. In these small groups devoted to a drivelling dissipation there is almost always one man who seems to have condescended to his company; one man who, while he can talk a foul triviality with his fellows, can also talk politics with a Socialist, or philosophy with a Catholic.

It was just such a man whom I came to know well. It was strange, perhaps, that he liked his dirty, drunken society; it was stranger still, perhaps, that he liked my society. For hours of the day he would talk with me about Milton or Gothic architecture; for hours of the night he would go where I have no wish to follow him, even in speculation. He was a man with a long, ironical face, and close and red hair; he was by class a gentleman, and could walk like one, but preferred, for some reason, to walk like a groom carrying two pails. He looked like a sort of Super-jockey; as if some archangel had gone on the Turf. And I shall never forget the half-hour in which he and I argued about real things for the first and the last time.

… . .

Along the front of the big building of which our school was a part ran a huge slope of stone steps, higher, I think, than those that lead up to St. Paul’s Cathedral. On a black wintry evening he and I were wandering on these cold heights, which seemed as dreary as a pyramid under the stars. The one thing visible below us in the blackness was a burning and blowing fire; for some gardener (I suppose) was burning something in the grounds, and from time to time the red sparks went whirling past us like a swarm of scarlet insects in the dark. Above us also it was gloom; but if one stared long enough at that upper darkness, one saw vertical stripes of grey in the black and then became conscious of the colossal façade of the Doric building, phantasmal, yet filling the sky, as if Heaven were still filled with the gigantic ghost of Paganism.

… . .

The man asked me abruptly why I was becoming orthodox. Until he said it, I really had not known that I was; but the moment he had said it I knew it to be literally true. And the process had been so long and full that I answered him at once out of existing stores of explanation.

“I am becoming orthodox,” I said, “because I have come, rightly or wrongly, after stretching my brain till it bursts, to the old belief that heresy is worse even than sin. An error is more menacing than a crime, for an error begets crimes. An Imperialist is worse than a pirate. For an Imperialist keeps a school for pirates; he teaches piracy disinterestedly and without an adequate salary. A Free Lover is worse than a profligate. For a profligate is serious and reckless even in his shortest love; while a Free Lover is cautious and irresponsible even in his longest devotion. I hate modern doubt because it is dangerous.”

“You mean dangerous to morality,” he said in a voice of wonderful gentleness. “I expect you are right. But why do you care about morality?”

I glanced at his face quickly. He had thrust out his neck as he had a trick of doing; and so brought his face abruptly into the light of the bonfire from below, like a face in the footlights. His long chin and high cheek-bones were lit up infernally from underneath; so that he looked like a fiend staring down into the flaming pit. I had an unmeaning sense of being tempted in a wilderness; and even as I paused a burst of red sparks broke past.

“Aren’t those sparks splendid?” I said.

“Yes,” he replied.

“That is all that I ask you to admit,” said I. “Give me those few red specks and I will deduce Christian morality. Once I thought like you, that one’s pleasure in a flying spark was a thing that could come and go with that spark. Once I thought that the delight was as free as the fire. Once I thought that red star we see was alone in space. But now I know that the red star is only on the apex of an invisible pyramid of virtues. That red fire is only the flower on a stalk of living habits, which you cannot see. Only because your mother made you say ‘Thank you’ for a bun are you now able to thank Nature or chaos for those red stars of an instant or for the white stars of all time. Only because you were humble before fireworks on the fifth of November do you now enjoy any fireworks that you chance to see. You only like them being red because you were told about the blood of the martyrs; you only like them being bright because brightness is a glory. That flame flowered out of virtues, and it will fade with virtues. Seduce a woman, and that spark will be less bright. Shed blood, and that spark will be less red. Be really bad, and they will be to you like the spots on a wall-paper.”

He had a horrible fairness of the intellect that made me despair of his soul. A common, harmless atheist would have denied that religion produced humility or humility a simple joy: but he admitted both. He only said, “But shall I not find in evil a life of its own? Granted that for every woman I ruin one of those red sparks will go out: will not the expanding pleasure of ruin …”

“Do you see that fire?” I asked. “If we had a real fighting democracy, some one would burn you in it; like the devil-worshipper that you are.”

“Perhaps,” he said, in his tired, fair way. “Only what you call evil I call good.”

He went down the great steps alone, and I felt as if I wanted the steps swept and cleaned. I followed later, and as I went to find my hat in the low, dark passage where it hung, I suddenly heard his voice again, but the words were inaudible. I stopped, startled: then I heard the voice of one of the vilest of his associates saying, “Nobody can possibly know.” And then I heard those two or three words which I remember in every syllable and cannot forget. I heard the Diabolist say, “I tell you I have done everything else. If I do that I shan’t know the difference between right and wrong.” I rushed out without daring to pause; and as I passed the fire I did not know whether it was hell or the furious love of God.

I have since heard that he died: it may be said, I think, that he committed suicide; though he did it with tools of pleasure, not with tools of pain. God help him, I know the road he went; but I have never known, or even dared to think, what was that place at which he stopped and refrained.

XXXV

A Glimpse of My Country

Whatever is it that we are all looking for? I fancy that it is really quite close. When I was a boy I had a fancy that Heaven or Fairyland or whatever I called it, was immediately behind my own back, and that this was why I could never manage to see it, however often I twisted and turned to take it by surprise. I had a notion of a man perpetually spinning round on one foot like a teetotum in the effort to find that world behind his back which continually fled from him. Perhaps this is why the world goes round. Perhaps the world is always trying to look over its shoulder and catch up the world which always escapes it, yet without which it cannot be itself.

In any case, as I have said, I think that we must always conceive of that which is the goal of all our endeavours as something which is in some strange way near. Science boasts of the distance of its stars; of the terrific remoteness of the things of which it has to speak. But poetry and religion always insist upon the proximity, the almost menacing closeness of the things with which they are concerned. Always the Kingdom of Heaven is “At Hand”; and Looking-glass Land is only through the looking-glass. So I for one should never be astonished if the next twist of a street led me to the heart of that maze in which all the mystics are lost. I should not be at all surprised if I turned one corner in Fleet Street and saw a yet queerer-looking lamp; I should not be surprised if I turned a third corner and found myself in Elfland.

I should not be surprised at this; but I was surprised the other day at something more surprising. I took a turn out of Fleet Street and found myself in England.

… . .

The singular shock experienced perhaps requires explanation. In the darkest or the most inadequate moments of England there is one thing that should always be remembered about the very nature of our country. It may be shortly stated by saying that England is not such a fool as it looks. The types of England, the externals of England, always misrepresent the country. England is an oligarchical country, and it prefers that its oligarchy should be inferior to itself.

The speaking in the House of Commons, for instance, is not only worse than the speaking was, it is worse than the speaking is, in all or almost all other places in small debating clubs or casual dinners. Our countrymen probably prefer this solemn futility in the higher places of the national life. It may be a strange sight to see the blind leading the blind; but England provides a stranger. England shows us the blind leading the people who can see. And this again is an under-statement of the case. For the English political aristocrats not only speak worse than many other people; they speak worse than themselves. The ignorance of statesmen is like the ignorance of judges, an artificial and affected thing. If you have the good fortune really to talk with a statesman, you will be constantly startled with his saying quite intelligent things. It makes one nervous at first. And I have never been sufficiently intimate with such a man to ask him why it was a rule of his life in Parliament to appear sillier than he was.

It is the same with the voters. The average man votes below himself; he votes with half a mind or with a hundredth part of one. A man ought to vote with the whole of himself as he worships or gets married. A man ought to vote with his head and heart, his soul and stomach, his eye for faces and his ear for music; also (when sufficiently provoked) with his hands and feet. If he has ever seen a fine sunset, the crimson colour of it should creep into his vote. If he has ever heard splendid songs, they should be in his ears when he makes the mystical cross. But as it is, the difficulty with English democracy at all elections is that it is something less than itself. The question is not so much whether only a minority of the electorate votes. The point is that only a minority of the voter votes.

… . .

This is the tragedy of England; you cannot judge it by its foremost men. Its types do not typify. And on the occasion of which I speak I found this to be so especially of that old intelligent middle class which I had imagined had almost vanished from the world. It seemed to me that all the main representatives of the middle class had gone off in one direction or in the other; they had either set out in pursuit of the Smart Set or they had set out in pursuit of the Simple Life. I cannot say which I dislike more myself; the people in question are welcome to have either of them, or, as is more likely, to have both, in hideous alternations of disease and cure. But all the prominent men who plainly represent the middle class have adopted either the single eye-glass of Mr Chamberlain or the single eye of Mr. Bernard Shaw.

The old class that I mean has no representative. Its food was plentiful; but it had no show. Its food was plain; but it had no fads. It was serious about politics; and when it spoke in public it committed the solecism of trying to speak well. I thought that this old earnest political England had practically disappeared. And as I say, I took one turn out of Fleet Street and I found a room full of it.

… . .

At the top of the room was a chair in which Johnson had sat. The club was a club in which Wilkes had spoken, in a time when even the ne’er-do-weel was virile. But all these things by themselves might be merely archaism. The extraordinary thing was that this hall had all the hubbub, the sincerity, the anger, the oratory of the eighteenth century. The members of this club were of all shades of opinion, yet there was not one speech which gave me that jar of unreality which I often have in listening to the ablest men uttering my own opinion. The Toryism of this club was like the Toryism of Johnson, a Toryism that could use humour and appealed to humanity. The democracy of this club was like the democracy of Wilkes, a democracy that can speak epigrams and fight duels; a democracy that can face things out and endure slander; the democracy of Wilkes, or, rather, the democracy of Fox.

One thing especially filled my soul with the soul of my fathers. Each man speaking, whether he spoke well or ill, spoke as well as he could from sheer fury against the other man. This is the greatest of our modern descents, that nowadays a man does not become more rhetorical as he becomes more sincere. An eighteenth-century speaker, when he got really and honestly furious, looked for big words with which to crush his adversary. The new speaker looks for small words to crush him with. He looks for little facts and little sneers. In a modern speech the rhetoric is put into the merely formal part, the opening to which nobody listens. But when Mr. Chamberlain, or a Moderate, or one of the harder kind of Socialists, becomes really sincere, he becomes Cockney. “The destiny of the Empire,” or “The destiny of humanity,” do well enough for mere ornamental preliminaries, but when the man becomes angry and honest, then it is a snarl, “Where do we come in?” or “It’s your money they want.”

The men in this eighteenth-century club were entirely different; they were quite eighteenth century. Each one rose to his feet quivering with passion, and tried to destroy his opponent, not with sniggering, but actually with eloquence. I was arguing with them about Home Rule; at the end I told them why the English aristocracy really disliked an Irish Parliament; because it would be like their club.

… . .

I came out again into Fleet Street at night, and by a dim lamp I saw pasted up some tawdry nonsense about Wastrels and how London was rising against something that London had hardly heard of. Then I suddenly saw, as in one obvious picture, that the modern world is an immense and tumultuous ocean, full of monstrous and living things. And I saw that across the top of it is spread a thin, a very thin, sheet of ice, of wicked wealth and of lying journalism.

And as I stood there in the darkness I could almost fancy that I heard it crack.

XXXVI

A Somewhat Improbable Story

I cannot remember whether this tale is true or not. If I read it through very carefully I have a suspicion that I should come to the conclusion that it is not. But, unfortunately, I cannot read it through very carefully, because, you see, it is not written yet. The image and the idea of it clung to me through a great part of my boyhood; I may have dreamt it before I could talk; or told it to myself before I could read; or read it before I could remember. On the whole, however, I am certain that I did not read it, for children have very clear memories about things like that; and of the books which I was really fond I can still remember, not only the shape and bulk and binding, but even the position of the printed words on many of the pages. On the whole, I incline to the opinion that it happened to me before I was born.

… . .

At any rate, let us tell the story now with all the advantages of the atmosphere that has clung to it. You may suppose me, for the sake of argument, sitting at lunch in one of those quick-lunch restaurants in the City where men take their food so fast that it has none of the quality of food, and take their half-hour’s vacation so fast that it has none of the qualities of leisure; to hurry through one’s leisure is the most unbusiness-like of actions. They all wore tall shiny hats as if they could not lose an instant even to hang them on a peg, and they all had one eye a little off, hypnotised by the huge eye of the clock. In short, they were the slaves of the modern bondage, you could hear their fetters clanking. Each was, in fact, bound by a chain; the heaviest chain ever tied to a man—it is called a watch-chain.

Now, among these there entered and sat down opposite to me a man who almost immediately opened an uninterrupted monologue. He was like all the other men in dress, yet he was startlingly opposite to them in all manner. He wore a high shiny hat and a long frock coat, but he wore them as such solemn things were meant to be worn; he wore the silk hat as if it were a mitre, and the frock coat as if it were the ephod of a high priest. He not only hung his hat up on the peg, but he seemed (such was his stateliness) almost to ask permission of the hat for doing so, and to apologise to the peg for making use of it. When he had sat down on a wooden chair with the air of one considering its feelings and given a sort of slight stoop or bow to the wooden table itself, as if it were an altar, I could not help some comment springing to my lips. For the man was a big, sanguine-faced, prosperous-looking man, and yet he treated everything with a care that almost amounted to nervousness.

For the sake of saying something to express my interest I said, “This furniture is fairly solid; but, of course, people do treat it much too carelessly.”

As I looked up doubtfully my eye caught his, and was fixed as his was fixed in an apocalyptic stare. I had thought him ordinary as he entered, save for his strange, cautious manner; but if the other people had seen him then they would have screamed and emptied the room. They did not see him, and they went on making a clatter with their forks, and a murmur with their conversation. But the man’s face was the face of a maniac.

“Did you mean anything particular by that remark?” he asked at last, and the blood crawled back slowly into his face.

“Nothing whatever,” I answered. “One does not mean anything here; it spoils people’s digestions.”

He limped back and wiped his broad forehead with a big handkerchief; and yet there seemed to be a sort of regret in his relief.

“I thought perhaps,” he said in a low voice, “that another of them had gone wrong.”

“If you mean another digestion gone wrong,” I said, “I never heard of one here that went right. This is the heart of the Empire, and the other organs are in an equally bad way.”

“No, I mean another street gone wrong,” and he said heavily and quietly, “but as I suppose that doesn’t explain much to you, I think I shall have to tell you the story. I do so with all the less responsibility, because I know you won’t believe it. For forty years of my life I invariably left my office, which is in Leadenhall Street, at half-past five in the afternoon, taking with me an umbrella in the right hand and a bag in the left hand. For forty years two months and four days I passed out of the side office door, walked down the street on the left-hand side, took the first turning to the left and the third to the right, from where I bought an evening paper, followed the road on the right-hand side round two obtuse angles, and came out just outside a Metropolitan station, where I took a train home. For forty years two months and four days I fulfilled this course by accumulated habit: it was not a long street that I traversed, and it took me about four and a half minutes to do it. After forty years two months and four days, on the fifth day I went out in the same manner, with my umbrella in the right hand and my bag in the left, and I began to notice that walking along the familiar street tired me somewhat more than usual; and when I turned it I was convinced that I had turned down the wrong one. For now the street shot up quite a steep slant, such as one only sees in the hilly parts of London, and in this part there were no hills at all. Yet it was not the wrong street; the name written on it was the same; the shuttered shops were the same; the lamp-posts and the whole look of the perspective was the same; only it was tilted upwards like a lid. Forgetting any trouble about breathlessness or fatigue I ran furiously forward, and reached the second of my accustomed turnings, which ought to bring me almost within sight of the station. And as I turned that corner I nearly fell on the pavement. For now the street went up straight in front of my face like a steep staircase or the side of a pyramid. There was not for miles round that place so much as a slope like that of Ludgate Hill. And this was a slope like that of the Matterhorn. The whole street had lifted itself like a single wave, and yet every speck and detail of it was the same, and I saw in the high distance, as at the top of an Alpine pass, picked out in pink letters the name over my paper shop.

“I ran on and on blindly now, passing all the shops and coming to a part of the road where there was a long grey row of private houses. I had, I know not why, an irrational feeling that I was a long iron bridge in empty space. An impulse seized me, and I pulled up the iron trap of a coal-hole. Looking down through it I saw empty space and the stairs.

“When I looked up again a man was standing in his front garden, having apparently come out of his house; he was leaning over the railings and gazing at me. We were all alone on that nightmare road; his face was in shadow; his dress was dark and ordinary; but when I saw him standing so perfectly still I knew somehow that he was not of this world. And the stars behind his head were larger and fiercer than ought to be endured by the eyes of men.

“‘If you are a kind angel,’ I said, ‘or a wise devil, or have anything in common with mankind, tell me what is this street possessed of devils.’

“After a long silence he said, ‘What do you say that it is?’

“‘It is Bumpton Street, of course,’ I snapped. ‘It goes to Oldgate Station.’

“‘Yes,’ he admitted gravely; ‘it goes there sometimes. Just now, however, it is going to heaven.’

“‘To heaven?’ I said. ‘Why?’

“‘It is going to heaven for justice,’ he replied. ‘You must have treated it badly. Remember always that there is one thing that cannot be endured by anybody or anything. That one unendurable thing is to be overworked and also neglected. For instance, you can overwork women—everybody does. But you can’t neglect women—I defy you to. At the same time, you can neglect tramps and gypsies and all the apparent refuse of the State so long as you do not overwork it. But no beast of the field, no horse, no dog can endure long to be asked to do more than his work and yet have less than his honour. It is the same with streets. You have worked this street to death, and yet you have never remembered its existence. If you had a healthy democracy, even of pagans, they would have hung this street with garlands and given it the name of a god. Then it would have gone quietly. But at last the street has grown tired of your tireless insolence; and it is bucking and rearing its head to heaven. Have you never sat on a bucking horse?’

“I looked at the long grey street, and for a moment it seemed to me to be exactly like the long grey neck of a horse flung up to heaven. But in a moment my sanity returned, and I said, ‘But this is all nonsense. Streets go to the place they have to go. A street must always go to its end.’

“‘Why do you think so of a street?’ he asked, standing very still.

“‘Because I have always seen it do the same thing,’ I replied, in reasonable anger. ‘Day after day, year after year, it has always gone to Oldgate Station; day after …’

“I stopped, for he had flung up his head with the fury of the road in revolt.

“‘And you?’ he cried terribly. ‘What do you think the road thinks of you? Does the road think you are alive? Are you alive? Day after day, year after year, you have gone to Oldgate Station… .’ Since then I have respected the things called inanimate.”

And bowing slightly to the mustard-pot, the man in the restaurant withdrew.

XXXVII

The Shop Of Ghosts

Nearly all the best and most precious things in the universe you can get for a halfpenny. I make an exception, of course, of the sun, the moon, the earth, people, stars, thunderstorms, and such trifles. You can get them for nothing. Also I make an exception of another thing, which I am not allowed to mention in this paper, and of which the lowest price is a penny halfpenny. But the general principle will be at once apparent. In the street behind me, for instance, you can now get a ride on an electric tram for a halfpenny. To be on an electric tram is to be on a flying castle in a fairy tale. You can get quite a large number of brightly coloured sweets for a halfpenny. Also you can get the chance of reading this article for a halfpenny; along, of course, with other and irrelevant matter.

But if you want to see what a vast and bewildering array of valuable things you can get at a halfpenny each you should do as I was doing last night. I was gluing my nose against the glass of a very small and dimly lit toy shop in one of the greyest and leanest of the streets of Battersea. But dim as was that square of light, it was filled (as a child once said to me) with all the colours God ever made. Those toys of the poor were like the children who buy them; they were all dirty; but they were all bright. For my part, I think brightness more important than cleanliness; since the first is of the soul, and the second of the body. You must excuse me; I am a democrat; I know I am out of fashion in the modern world.

… . .

As I looked at that palace of pigmy wonders, at small green omnibuses, at small blue elephants, at small black dolls, and small red Noah’s arks, I must have fallen into some sort of unnatural trance. That lit shop-window became like the brilliantly lit stage when one is watching some highly coloured comedy. I forgot the grey houses and the grimy people behind me as one forgets the dark galleries and the dim crowds at a theatre. It seemed as if the little objects behind the glass were small, not because they were toys, but because they were objects far away. The green omnibus was really a green omnibus, a green Bayswater omnibus, passing across some huge desert on its ordinary way to Bayswater. The blue elephant was no longer blue with paint; he was blue with distance. The black doll was really a negro relieved against passionate tropic foliage in the land where every weed is flaming and only man is black. The red Noah’s ark was really the enormous ship of earthly salvation riding on the rain-swollen sea, red in the first morning of hope.

Every one, I suppose, knows such stunning instants of abstraction, such brilliant blanks in the mind. In such moments one can see the face of one’s own best friend as an unmeaning pattern of spectacles or moustaches. They are commonly marked by the two signs of the slowness of their growth and the suddenness of their termination. The return to real thinking is often as abrupt as bumping into a man. Very often indeed (in my case) it is bumping into a man. But in any case the awakening is always emphatic and, generally speaking, it is always complete. Now, in this case, I did come back with a shock of sanity to the consciousness that I was, after all, only staring into a dingy little toy-shop; but in some strange way the mental cure did not seem to be final. There was still in my mind an unmanageable something that told me that I had strayed into some odd atmosphere, or that I had already done some odd thing. I felt as if I had worked a miracle or committed a sin. It was as if I had at any rate, stepped across some border in the soul.

To shake off this dangerous and dreamy sense I went into the shop and tried to buy wooden soldiers. The man in the shop was very old and broken, with confused white hair covering his head and half his face, hair so startlingly white that it looked almost artificial. Yet though he was senile and even sick, there was nothing of suffering in his eyes; he looked rather as if he were gradually falling asleep in a not unkindly decay. He gave me the wooden soldiers, but when I put down the money he did not at first seem to see it; then he blinked at it feebly, and then he pushed it feebly away.

“No, no,” he said vaguely. “I never have. I never have. We are rather old-fashioned here.”

“Not taking money,” I replied, “seems to me more like an uncommonly new fashion than an old one.”

“I never have,” said the old man, blinking and blowing his nose; “I’ve always given presents. I’m too old to stop.”

“Good heavens!” I said. “What can you mean? Why, you might be Father Christmas.”

“I am Father Christmas,” he said apologetically, and blew his nose again.

The lamps could not have been lighted yet in the street outside. At any rate, I could see nothing against the darkness but the shining shop-window. There were no sounds of steps or voices in the street; I might have strayed into some new and sunless world. But something had cut the chords of common sense, and I could not feel even surprise except sleepily. Something made me say, “You look ill, Father Christmas.”

“I am dying,” he said.

I did not speak, and it was he who spoke again.

“All the new people have left my shop. I cannot understand it. They seem to object to me on such curious and inconsistent sort of grounds, these scientific men, and these innovators. They say that I give people superstitions and make them too visionary; they say I give people sausages and make them too coarse. They say my heavenly parts are too heavenly; they say my earthly parts are too earthly; I don’t know what they want, I’m sure. How can heavenly things be too heavenly, or earthly things too earthly? How can one be too good, or too jolly? I don’t understand. But I understand one thing well enough. These modern people are living and I am dead.”

“You may be dead,” I replied. “You ought to know. But as for what they are doing, do not call it living.”

… . .

A silence fell suddenly between us which I somehow expected to be unbroken. But it had not fallen for more than a few seconds when, in the utter stillness, I distinctly heard a very rapid step coming nearer and nearer along the street. The next moment a figure flung itself into the shop and stood framed in the doorway. He wore a large white hat tilted back as if in impatience; he had tight black old-fashioned pantaloons, a gaudy old-fashioned stock and waistcoat, and an old fantastic coat. He had large, wide-open, luminous eyes like those of an arresting actor; he had a pale, nervous face, and a fringe of beard. He took in the shop and the old man in a look that seemed literally a flash and uttered the exclamation of a man utterly staggered.

“Good lord!” he cried out; “it can’t be you! It isn’t you! I came to ask where your grave was.”

“I’m not dead yet, Mr. Dickens,” said the old gentleman, with a feeble smile; “but I’m dying,” he hastened to add reassuringly.

“But, dash it all, you were dying in my time,” said Mr. Charles Dickens with animation; “and you don’t look a day older.”

“I’ve felt like this for a long time,” said Father Christmas.

Mr. Dickens turned his back and put his head out of the door into the darkness.

“Dick,” he roared at the top of his voice; “he’s still alive.”

… . .

Another shadow darkened the doorway, and a much larger and more full-blooded gentleman in an enormous periwig came in, fanning his flushed face with a military hat of the cut of Queen Anne. He carried his head well back like a soldier, and his hot face had even a look of arrogance, which was suddenly contradicted by his eyes, which were literally as humble as a dog’s. His sword made a great clatter, as if the shop were too small for it.

“Indeed,” said Sir Richard Steele, “‘tis a most prodigious matter, for the man was dying when I wrote about Sir Roger de Coverley and his Christmas Day.”

My senses were growing dimmer and the room darker. It seemed to be filled with newcomers.

“It hath ever been understood,” said a burly man, who carried his head humorously and obstinately a little on one side—I think he was Ben Jonson—“It hath ever been understood, consule Jacobo, under our King James and her late Majesty, that such good and hearty customs were fallen sick, and like to pass from the world. This grey beard most surely was no lustier when I knew him than now.”

And I also thought I heard a green-clad man, like Robin Hood, say in some mixed Norman French, “But I saw the man dying.”

“I have felt like this a long time,” said Father Christmas, in his feeble way again.

Mr. Charles Dickens suddenly leant across to him.

“Since when?” he asked. “Since you were born?”

“Yes,” said the old man, and sank shaking into a chair. “I have been always dying.”

Mr. Dickens took off his hat with a flourish like a man calling a mob to rise.

“I understand it now,” he cried, “you will never die.”

XXXVIII

The Ballade of a Strange Town

My friend and I, in fooling about Flanders, fell into a fixed affection for the town of Mechlin or Malines. Our rest there was so restful that we almost felt it as a home, and hardly strayed out of it.

We sat day after day in the market-place, under little trees growing in wooden tubs, and looked up at the noble converging lines of the Cathedral tower, from which the three riders from Ghent, in the poem, heard the bell which told them they were not too late. But we took as much pleasure in the people, in the little boys with open, flat Flemish faces and fur collars round their necks, making them look like burgomasters; or the women, whose prim, oval faces, hair strained tightly off the temples, and mouths at once hard, meek, and humorous, exactly reproduced the late mediaeval faces in Memling and Van Eyck.

But one afternoon, as it happened, my friend rose from under his little tree, and pointing to a sort of toy train that was puffing smoke in one corner of the clear square, suggested that we should go by it. We got into the little train, which was meant really to take the peasants and their vegetables to and fro from their fields beyond the town, and the official came round to give us tickets. We asked him what place we should get to if we paid fivepence. The Belgians are not a romantic people, and he asked us (with a lamentable mixture of Flemish coarseness and French rationalism) where we wanted to go.

We explained that we wanted to go to fairyland, and the only question was whether we could get there for fivepence. At last, after a great deal of international misunderstanding (for he spoke French in the Flemish and we in the English manner), he told us that fivepence would take us to a place which I have never seen written down, but which when spoken sounded like the word “Waterloo” pronounced by an intoxicated patriot; I think it was Waerlowe.

We clasped our hands and said it was the place we had been seeking from boyhood, and when we had got there we descended with promptitude.

For a moment I had a horrible fear that it really was the field of Waterloo; but I was comforted by remembering that it was in quite a different part of Belgium. It was a cross-roads, with one cottage at the corner, a perspective of tall trees like Hobbema’s “Avenue,” and beyond only the infinite flat chess-board of the little fields. It was the scene of peace and prosperity; but I must confess that my friend’s first action was to ask the man when there would be another train back to Mechlin. The man stated that there would be a train back in exactly one hour. We walked up the avenue, and when we were nearly half an hour’s walk away it began to rain.

… . .

We arrived back at the cross-roads sodden and dripping, and, finding the train waiting, climbed into it with some relief. The officer on this train could speak nothing but Flemish, but he understood the name Mechlin, and indicated that when we came to Mechlin Station he would put us down, which, after the right interval of time, he did.

We got down, under a steady downpour, evidently on the edge of Mechlin, though the features could not easily be recognised through the grey screen of the rain. I do not generally agree with those who find rain depressing. A shower-bath is not depressing; it is rather startling. And if it is exciting when a man throws a pail of water over you, why should it not also be exciting when the gods throw many pails? But on this soaking afternoon, whether it was the dull sky-line of the Netherlands or the fact that we were returning home without any adventure, I really did think things a trifle dreary. As soon as we could creep under the shelter of a street we turned into a little café, kept by one woman. She was incredibly old, and she spoke no French. There we drank black coffee and what was called “cognac fine.” “Cognac fine” were the only two French words used in the establishment, and they were not true. At least, the fineness (perhaps by its very ethereal delicacy) escaped me. After a little my friend, who was more restless than I, got up and went out, to see if the rain had stopped and if we could at once stroll back to our hotel by the station. I sat finishing my coffee in a colourless mood, and listening to the unremitting rain.

… . .

Suddenly the door burst open, and my friend appeared, transfigured and frantic.

“Get up!” he cried, waving his hands wildly. “Get up! We’re in the wrong town! We’re not in Mechlin at all. Mechlin is ten miles, twenty miles off—God knows what! We’re somewhere near Antwerp.”

“What!” I cried, leaping from my seat, and sending the furniture flying. “Then all is well, after all! Poetry only hid her face for an instant behind a cloud. Positively for a moment I was feeling depressed because we were in the right town. But if we are in the wrong town—why, we have our adventure after all! If we are in the wrong town, we are in the right place.”

I rushed out into the rain, and my friend followed me somewhat more grimly. We discovered we were in a town called Lierre, which seemed to consist chiefly of bankrupt pastry cooks, who sold lemonade.

“This is the peak of our whole poetic progress!” I cried enthusiastically. “We must do something, something sacramental and commemorative! We cannot sacrifice an ox, and it would be a bore to build a temple. Let us write a poem.”

With but slight encouragement, I took out an old envelope and one of those pencils that turn bright violet in water. There was plenty of water about, and the violet ran down the paper, symbolising the rich purple of that romantic hour. I began, choosing the form of an old French ballade; it is the easiest because it is the most restricted—

“Can Man to Mount Olympus rise, And fancy Primrose Hill the scene? Can a man walk in Paradise And think he is in Turnham Green? And could I take you for Malines, Not knowing the nobler thing you were? O Pearl of all the plain, and queen, The lovely city of Lierre.

“Through memory’s mist in glimmering guise Shall shine your streets of sloppy sheen. And wet shall grow my dreaming eyes, To think how wet my boots have been Now if I die or shoot a Dean----”

Here I broke off to ask my friend whether he thought it expressed a more wild calamity to shoot a Dean or to be a Dean. But he only turned up his coat collar, and I felt that for him the muse had folded her wings. I rewrote—

“Now if I die a Rural Dean, Or rob a bank I do not care, Or turn a Tory. I have seen The lovely city of Lierre.”

“The next line,” I resumed, warming to it; but my friend interrupted me.

“The next line,” he said somewhat harshly, “will be a railway line. We can get back to Mechlin from here, I find, though we have to change twice. I dare say I should think this jolly romantic but for the weather. Adventure is the champagne of life, but I prefer my champagne and my adventures dry. Here is the station.”

… . .

We did not speak again until we had left Lierre, in its sacred cloud of rain, and were coming to Mechlin, under a clearer sky, that even made one think of stars. Then I leant forward and said to my friend in a low voice—“I have found out everything. We have come to the wrong star.”

He stared his query, and I went on eagerly: “That is what makes life at once so splendid and so strange. We are in the wrong world. When I thought that was the right town, it bored me; when I knew it was wrong, I was happy. So the false optimism, the modern happiness, tires us because it tells us we fit into this world. The true happiness is that we don’t fit. We come from somewhere else. We have lost our way.”

He silently nodded, staring out of the window, but whether I had impressed or only fatigued him I could not tell. “This,” I added, “is suggested in the last verse of a fine poem you have grossly neglected—

“‘Happy is he and more than wise Who sees with wondering eyes and clean The world through all the grey disguise Of sleep and custom in between. Yes; we may pass the heavenly screen, But shall we know when we are there? Who know not what these dead stones mean, The lovely city of Lierre.’”

Here the train stopped abruptly. And from Mechlin church steeple we heard the half-chime: and Joris broke silence with “No bally HORS D’OEUVRES for me: I shall get on to something solid at once.”

L’Envoy

Prince, wide your Empire spreads, I ween, Yet happier is that moistened Mayor, Who drinks her cognac far from fine, The lovely city of Lierre.

XXXIX

The Mystery of a Pageant

Once upon a time, it seems centuries ago, I was prevailed on to take a small part in one of those historical processions or pageants which happened to be fashionable in or about the year 1909. And since I tend, like all who are growing old, to re-enter the remote past as a paradise or playground, I disinter a memory which may serve to stand among those memories of small but strange incidents with which I have sometimes filled this column. The thing has really some of the dark qualities of a detective-story; though I suppose that Sherlock Holmes himself could hardly unravel it now, when the scent is so old and cold and most of the actors, doubtless, long dead.

This old pageant included a series of figures from the eighteenth century, and I was told that I was just like Dr. Johnson. Seeing that Dr. Johnson was heavily seamed with small-pox, had a waistcoat all over gravy, snorted and rolled as he walked, and was probably the ugliest man in London, I mention this identification as a fact and not as a vaunt. I had nothing to do with the arrangement; and such fleeting suggestions as I made were not taken so seriously as they might have been. I requested that a row of posts be erected across the lawn, so that I might touch all of them but one, and then go back and touch that. Failing this, I felt that the least they could do was to have twenty-five cups of tea stationed at regular intervals along the course, each held by a Mrs. Thrale in full costume. My best constructive suggestion was the most harshly rejected of all. In front of me in the procession walked the great Bishop Berkeley, the man who turned the tables on the early materialists by maintaining that matter itself possibly does not exist. Dr. Johnson, you will remember, did not like such bottomless fancies as Berkeley’s, and kicked a stone with his foot, saying, “I refute him so!” Now (as I pointed out) kicking a stone would not make the metaphysical quarrel quite clear; besides, it would hurt. But how picturesque and perfect it would be if I moved across the ground in the symbolic attitude of kicking Bishop Berkeley! How complete an allegoric group; the great transcendentalist walking with his head among the stars, but behind him the avenging realist pede claudo, with uplifted foot. But I must not take up space with these forgotten frivolities; we old men grow too garrulous in talking of the distant past.

This story scarcely concerns me either in my real or my assumed character. Suffice it to say that the procession took place at night in a large garden and by torchlight (so remote is the date), that the garden was crowded with Puritans, monks, and men-at-arms, and especially with early Celtic saints smoking pipes, and with elegant Renaissance gentlemen talking Cockney. Suffice it to say, or rather it is needless to say, that I got lost. I wandered away into some dim corner of that dim shrubbery, where there was nothing to do except tumbling over tent ropes, and I began almost to feel like my prototype, and to share his horror of solitude and hatred of a country life.

In this detachment and dilemma I saw another man in a white wig advancing across this forsaken stretch of lawn; a tall, lean man, who stooped in his long black robes like a stooping eagle. When I thought he would pass me, he stopped before my face, and said, “Dr. Johnson, I think. I am Paley.”

“Sir,” I said, “you used to guide men to the beginnings of Christianity. If you can guide me now to wherever this infernal thing begins you will perform a yet higher and harder function.”

His costume and style were so perfect that for the instant I really thought he was a ghost. He took no notice of my flippancy, but, turning his black-robed back on me, led me through verdurous glooms and winding mossy ways, until we came out into the glare of gaslight and laughing men in masquerade, and I could easily laugh at myself.

And there, you will say, was an end of the matter. I am (you will say) naturally obtuse, cowardly, and mentally deficient. I was, moreover, unused to pageants; I felt frightened in the dark and took a man for a spectre whom, in the light, I could recognise as a modern gentleman in a masquerade dress. No; far from it. That spectral person was my first introduction to a special incident which has never been explained and which still lays its finger on my nerve.

I mixed with the men of the eighteenth century; and we fooled as one does at a fancy-dress ball. There was Burke as large as life and a great deal better looking. There was Cowper much larger than life; he ought to have been a little man in a night-cap, with a cat under one arm and a spaniel under the other. As it was, he was a magnificent person, and looked more like the Master of Ballantrae than Cowper. I persuaded him at last to the night-cap, but never, alas, to the cat and dog. When I came the next night Burke was still the same beautiful improvement upon himself; Cowper was still weeping for his dog and cat and would not be comforted; Bishop Berkeley was still waiting to be kicked in the interests of philosophy. In short, I met all my old friends but one. Where was Paley? I had been mystically moved by the man’s presence; I was moved more by his absence. At last I saw advancing towards us across the twilight garden a little man with a large book and a bright attractive face. When he came near enough he said, in a small, clear voice, “I’m Paley.” The thing was quite natural, of course; the man was ill and had sent a substitute. Yet somehow the contrast was a shock.

By the next night I had grown quite friendly with my four or five colleagues; I had discovered what is called a mutual friend with Berkeley and several points of difference with Burke. Cowper, I think it was, who introduced me to a friend of his, a fresh face, square and sturdy, framed in a white wig. “This,” he explained, “is my friend So-and-So. He’s Paley.” I looked round at all the faces by this time fixed and familiar; I studied them; I counted them; then I bowed to the third Paley as one bows to necessity. So far the thing was all within the limits of coincidence. It certainly seemed odd that this one particular cleric should be so varying and elusive. It was singular that Paley, alone among men, should swell and shrink and alter like a phantom, while all else remained solid. But the thing was explicable; two men had been ill and there was an end of it; only I went again the next night, and a clear-coloured elegant youth with powdered hair bounded up to me, and told me with boyish excitement that he was Paley.

For the next twenty-four hours I remained in the mental condition of the modern world. I mean the condition in which all natural explanations have broken down and no supernatural explanation has been established. My bewilderment had reached to boredom when I found myself once more in the colour and clatter of the pageant, and I was all the more pleased because I met an old school-fellow, and we mutually recognised each other under our heavy clothes and hoary wigs. We talked about all those great things for which literature is too small and only life large enough; red-hot memories and those gigantic details which make up the characters of men. I heard all about the friends he had lost sight of and those he had kept in sight; I heard about his profession, and asked at last how he came into the pageant.

“The fact is,” he said, “a friend of mine asked me, just for to-night, to act a chap called Paley; I don’t know who he was… .”

“No, by thunder!” I said, “nor does anyone.”

This was the last blow, and the next night passed like a dream. I scarcely noticed the slender, sprightly, and entirely new figure which fell into the ranks in the place of Paley, so many times deceased. What could it mean? Why was the giddy Paley unfaithful among the faithful found? Did these perpetual changes prove the popularity or the unpopularity of being Paley? Was it that no human being could support being Paley for one night and live till morning? Or was it that the gates were crowded with eager throngs of the British public thirsting to be Paley, who could only be let in one at a time? Or is there some ancient vendetta against Paley? Does some secret society of Deists still assassinate any one who adopts the name?

I cannot conjecture further about this true tale of mystery; and that for two reasons. First, the story is so true that I have had to put a lie into it. Every word of this narrative is veracious, except the one word Paley. And second, because I have got to go into the next room and dress up as Dr. Johnson.

The End

Chapter I Tremendous Trifles II A Piece of Chalk III The Secret of a Train IV The Perfect Game V The Extraordinary Cabman VI An Accident VII The Advantages of Having One Leg VIII The End of the World IX In the Place de la Bastille X On Lying in Bed XI The Twelve Men XII The Wind and the Trees XIII The Dickensian XIV In Topsy-Turvy Land XV What I Found in My Pocket XVI The Dragon’s Grandmother XVII The Red Angel XVIII The Tower XIX How I Met the President XX The Giant XXI The Great Man XXII The Orthodox Barber XXIII The Toy Theatre XXIV A Tragedy of Twopence XXV A Cab Ride Across Country XXVI The Two Noises XXVII Some Policemen and a Moral XXVIII The Lion XXIX Humanity: An Interlude XXX The Little Birds Who Won’t Sing XXXI The Riddle of the Ivy XXXII The Travellers in State XXXIII The Prehistoric Railway Station XXXIV The Diabolist XXXV A Glimpse of My Country XXXVI A Somewhat Improbable Story XXXVII The Shop of Ghosts XXXVIII The Ballade of a Strange Town XXXIX The Mystery of a Pageant

Capitolo I Bazzecole tremende II Un pezzo di gesso III Il segreto di un treno IV La partita perfetta V Lo straordinario vetturino VI Un incidente VII I vantaggi dell’avere una gamba sola VIII La fine del mondo IX In Place de la Bastille X Dello star coricati a letto XI I dodici uomini XII Il vento e gli alberi XIII Il dickensiano XIV Nel paese alla rovescia XV Ciò che trovai in tasca XVI La nonna del drago XVII L’angelo rosso XVIII La torre XIX Come incontrai il Presidente XX Il gigante XXI Il grand’uomo XXII Il barbiere ortodosso XXIII Il teatrino dei giocattoli XXIV Una tragedia da due soldi XXV Una corsa in carrozza per la campagna XXVI I due rumori XXVII Alcuni poliziotti e una morale XXVIII Il leone XXIX Umanità: un interludio XXX Gli uccellini che non vogliono cantare XXXI L’enigma dell’edera XXXII I viaggiatori in pompa magna XXXIII La stazione ferroviaria preistorica XXXIV Il diabolista XXXV Uno scorcio del mio paese XXXVI Una storia alquanto improbabile XXXVII La bottega dei fantasmi XXXVIII La ballata di una strana città XXXIX Il mistero di un corteo

I

Tremendous Trifles

Once upon a time there were two little boys who lived chiefly in the front garden, because their villa was a model one. The front garden was about the same size as the dinner table; it consisted of four strips of gravel, a square of turf with some mysterious pieces of cork standing up in the middle and one flower bed with a row of red daisies. One morning while they were at play in these romantic grounds, a passing individual, probably the milkman, leaned over the railing and engaged them in philosophical conversation. The boys, whom we will call Paul and Peter, were at least sharply interested in his remarks. For the milkman (who was, I need say, a fairy) did his duty in that state of life by offering them in the regulation manner anything that they chose to ask for. And Paul closed with the offer with a business-like abruptness, explaining that he had long wished to be a giant that he might stride across continents and oceans and visit Niagara or the Himalayas in an afternoon dinner stroll. The milkman producing a wand from his breast pocket, waved it in a hurried and perfunctory manner; and in an instant the model villa with its front garden was like a tiny doll’s house at Paul’s colossal feet. He went striding away with his head above the clouds to visit Niagara and the Himalayas. But when he came to the Himalayas, he found they were quite small and silly-looking, like the little cork rockery in the garden; and when he found Niagara it was no bigger than the tap turned on in the bathroom. He wandered round the world for several minutes trying to find something really large and finding everything small, till in sheer boredom he lay down on four or five prairies and fell asleep. Unfortunately his head was just outside the hut of an intellectual backwoodsman who came out of it at that moment with an axe in one hand and a book of Neo-Catholic Philosophy in the other. The man looked at the book and then at the giant, and then at the book again. And in the book it said, “It can be maintained that the evil of pride consists in being out of proportion to the universe.” So the backwoodsman put down his book, took his axe and, working eight hours a day for about a week, cut the giant’s head off; and there was an end of him.

Such is the severe yet salutary history of Paul. But Peter, oddly enough, made exactly the opposite request; he said he had long wished to be a pigmy about half an inch high; and of course he immediately became one. When the transformation was over he found himself in the midst of an immense plain, covered with a tall green jungle and above which, at intervals, rose strange trees each with a head like the sun in symbolic pictures, with gigantic rays of silver and a huge heart of gold. Toward the middle of this prairie stood up a mountain of such romantic and impossible shape, yet of such stony height and dominance, that it looked like some incident of the end of the world. And far away on the faint horizon he could see the line of another forest, taller and yet more mystical, of a terrible crimson colour, like a forest on fire for ever. He set out on his adventures across that coloured plain; and he has not come to the end of it yet.

Such is the story of Peter and Paul, which contains all the highest qualities of a modern fairy tale, including that of being wholly unfit for children; and indeed the motive with which I have introduced it is not childish, but rather full of subtlety and reaction. It is in fact the almost desperate motive of excusing or palliating the pages that follow. Peter and Paul are the two primary influences upon European literature to-day; and I may be permitted to put my own preference in its most favourable shape, even if I can only do it by what little girls call telling a story.

I need scarcely say that I am the pigmy. The only excuse for the scraps that follow is that they show what can be achieved with a commonplace existence and the sacred spectacles of exaggeration. The other great literary theory, that which is roughly represented in England by Mr. Rudyard Kipling, is that we moderns are to regain the primal zest by sprawling all over the world growing used to travel and geographical variety, being at home everywhere, that is being at home nowhere. Let it be granted that a man in a frock coat is a heartrending sight; and the two alternative methods still remain. Mr. Kipling’s school advises us to go to Central Africa in order to find a man without a frock coat. The school to which I belong suggests that we should stare steadily at the man until we see the man inside the frock coat. If we stare at him long enough he may even be moved to take off his coat to us; and that is a far greater compliment than his taking off his hat. In other words, we may, by fixing our attention almost fiercely on the facts actually before us, force them to turn into adventures; force them to give up their meaning and fulfil their mysterious purpose. The purpose of the Kipling literature is to show how many extraordinary things a man may see if he is active and strides from continent to continent like the giant in my tale. But the object of my school is to show how many extraordinary things even a lazy and ordinary man may see if he can spur himself to the single activity of seeing. For this purpose I have taken the laziest person of my acquaintance, that is myself; and made an idle diary of such odd things as I have fallen over by accident, in walking in a very limited area at a very indolent pace. If anyone says that these are very small affairs talked about in very big language, I can only gracefully compliment him upon seeing the joke. If anyone says that I am making mountains out of molehills, I confess with pride that it is so. I can imagine no more successful and productive form of manufacture than that of making mountains out of molehills. But I would add this not unimportant fact, that molehills are mountains; one has only to become a pigmy like Peter to discover that.

I have my doubts about all this real value in mountaineering, in getting to the top of everything and overlooking everything. Satan was the most celebrated of Alpine guides, when he took Jesus to the top of an exceeding high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the earth. But the joy of Satan in standing on a peak is not a joy in largeness, but a joy in beholding smallness, in the fact that all men look like insects at his feet. It is from the valley that things look large; it is from the level that things look high; I am a child of the level and have no need of that celebrated Alpine guide. I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help; but I will not lift up my carcass to the hills, unless it is absolutely necessary. Everything is in an attitude of mind; and at this moment I am in a comfortable attitude. I will sit still and let the marvels and the adventures settle on me like flies. There are plenty of them, I assure you. The world will never starve for want of wonders; but only for want of wonder.

I

Tremende inezie

C’era una volta due bambini che vivevano per lo più nel giardino anteriore, perché la loro villetta era un modello. Il giardino anteriore era grande all’incirca quanto il tavolo da pranzo; consisteva di quattro strisce di ghiaia, un quadrato di zolla erbosa con alcuni misteriosi pezzi di sughero ritti nel mezzo e un’aiuola con una fila di margherite rosse. Una mattina, mentre giocavano in quel romantico terreno, un individuo di passaggio, probabilmente il lattaio, si sporse oltre la ringhiera e li coinvolse in una conversazione filosofica. I bambini, che chiameremo Paul e Peter, erano quanto meno vivamente interessati alle sue osservazioni. Poiché il lattaio (che era, non ho bisogno di dirlo, una fata) faceva il proprio dovere in quello stato di vita offrendo loro, secondo le regole, qualunque cosa scegliessero di chiedere. E Paul accettò l’offerta con una bruschezza da uomo d’affari, spiegando che aveva a lungo desiderato essere un gigante per poter scavalcare a grandi passi continenti e oceani e visitare il Niagara o l’Himalaya in una passeggiata pomeridiana dopo pranzo. Il lattaio, estraendo una bacchetta dal taschino, la agitò in modo frettoloso e sbrigativo; e in un istante la villetta modello con il suo giardino anteriore fu come una minuscola casa di bambola ai colossali piedi di Paul. Egli se ne andò a grandi passi con la testa sopra le nuvole per visitare il Niagara e l’Himalaya. Ma quando giunse all’Himalaya, la trovò piuttosto piccola e dall’aria sciocca, come la piccola montagnola di sughero nel giardino; e quando trovò il Niagara non era più grande del rubinetto aperto nel bagno. Vagò intorno al mondo per parecchi minuti cercando qualcosa di davvero grande e trovando ogni cosa piccola, finché, per pura noia, si sdraiò su quattro o cinque praterie e si addormentò. Sfortunatamente la sua testa era proprio all’esterno della capanna di un intellettuale uomo dei boschi, che ne uscì in quel momento con un’ascia in una mano e un libro di filosofia neocattolica nell’altra. L’uomo guardò il libro e poi il gigante, e poi di nuovo il libro. E nel libro c’era scritto: «Si può sostenere che il male dell’orgoglio consista nell’essere sproporzionati rispetto all’universo». Così l’uomo dei boschi posò il libro, prese l’ascia e, lavorando otto ore al giorno per circa una settimana, tagliò la testa del gigante; e questa fu la sua fine.

Tale è la severa ma salutare storia di Paul. Ma Peter, abbastanza stranamente, fece esattamente la richiesta opposta; disse di aver a lungo desiderato essere un pigmeo alto circa mezzo pollice; e naturalmente lo divenne immediatamente. Quando la trasformazione fu compiuta si ritrovò in mezzo a un’immensa pianura, coperta da un’alta giungla verde e sopra la quale, a intervalli, sorgevano strani alberi ciascuno con una testa simile al sole nelle immagini simboliche, con giganteschi raggi d’argento e un enorme cuore d’oro. Verso il centro di questa prateria si ergeva una montagna di forma così romantica e impossibile, eppure di tale pietrosa altezza e dominio, che sembrava un qualche episodio della fine del mondo. E lontano, sul debole orizzonte, poteva scorgere la linea di un’altra foresta, più alta e ancora più mistica, di un terribile color cremisi, come una foresta in fiamme per sempre. Si mise in cammino per le sue avventure attraverso quella pianura colorata; e non ne è ancora giunto alla fine.

Tale è la storia di Peter e Paul, che contiene tutte le più alte qualità di una fiaba moderna, compresa quella di essere del tutto inadatta ai bambini; e in verità il motivo per cui l’ho introdotta non è infantile, ma piuttosto pieno di sottigliezza e reazione. È in realtà il motivo quasi disperato di scusare o attenuare le pagine che seguono. Peter e Paul sono le due influenze primarie sulla letteratura europea di oggi; e mi sia permesso di esporre la mia preferenza nella sua forma più favorevole, anche se posso farlo solo con ciò che le bambine chiamano raccontare una storia.

Non ho quasi bisogno di dire che il pigmeo sono io. L’unica scusa per i frammenti che seguono è che mostrano ciò che si può ottenere con un’esistenza banale e i sacri occhiali dell’esagerazione. L’altra grande teoria letteraria, quella che in Inghilterra è grosso modo rappresentata dal signor Rudyard Kipling, è che noi moderni dobbiamo riconquistare lo slancio primordiale sparpagliandoci per tutto il mondo, abituandoci al viaggio e alla varietà geografica, essendo a casa ovunque, ossia non essendo a casa in nessun luogo. Si conceda pure che un uomo in redingote sia uno spettacolo straziante; e i due metodi alternativi rimangono comunque. La scuola del signor Kipling ci consiglia di andare in Africa centrale per trovare un uomo senza redingote. La scuola cui appartengo suggerisce che dovremmo fissare fermamente lo sguardo sull’uomo finché non vediamo l’uomo dentro la redingote. Se lo fissiamo abbastanza a lungo, potrà persino essere indotto a togliersi la giacca davanti a noi; e questo è un complimento assai più grande del togliersi il cappello. In altre parole, possiamo, fissando la nostra attenzione quasi ferocemente sui fatti che ci stanno realmente davanti, costringerli a trasformarsi in avventure; costringerli a cedere il loro significato e ad adempiere il loro misterioso scopo. Lo scopo della letteratura di Kipling è mostrare quante cose straordinarie un uomo possa vedere se è attivo e cammina a grandi passi da un continente all’altro come il gigante della mia storia. Ma l’obiettivo della mia scuola è mostrare quante cose straordinarie perfino un uomo pigro e ordinario possa vedere se riesce a spronarsi alla sola attività del vedere. A questo scopo ho preso la persona più pigra di mia conoscenza, cioè me stesso; e ho tenuto un ozioso diario di quelle strane cose in cui mi sono imbattuto per caso, camminando in un’area assai limitata a un’andatura assai indolente. Se qualcuno dice che si tratta di faccende piccolissime discusse in un linguaggio assai grande, non posso che complimentarmi garbatamente con lui per aver colto la battuta. Se qualcuno dice che sto facendo montagne dai monticelli di talpa, confesso con orgoglio che è così. Non riesco a immaginare forma di manifattura più riuscita e produttiva di quella di fare montagne dai monticelli di talpa. Ma aggiungerei questo fatto non trascurabile, che i monticelli di talpa sono montagne; basta diventare un pigmeo come Peter per scoprirlo.

Ho i miei dubbi su tutto questo reale valore dell’alpinismo, del raggiungere la cima di ogni cosa e del dominare con lo sguardo ogni cosa. Satana fu la più celebre delle guide alpine, quando condusse Gesù sulla cima di un monte altissimo e gli mostrò tutti i regni della terra. Ma la gioia di Satana nello stare su una vetta non è una gioia della grandezza, bensì una gioia nel contemplare la piccolezza, nel fatto che tutti gli uomini sembrino insetti ai suoi piedi. È dalla valle che le cose sembrano grandi; è dal piano che le cose sembrano alte; io sono un figlio del piano e non ho bisogno di quella celebre guida alpina. Leverò i miei occhi ai monti, donde viene il mio aiuto; ma non leverò la mia carcassa ai monti, a meno che non sia assolutamente necessario. Tutto sta in un atteggiamento della mente; e in questo momento io sono in un atteggiamento comodo. Me ne starò seduto immobile e lascerò che le meraviglie e le avventure si posino su di me come mosche. Ce ne sono in abbondanza, ve l’assicuro. Il mondo non morirà mai di fame per mancanza di prodigi; ma soltanto per mancanza di meraviglia.

II

A Piece of Chalk

I remember one splendid morning, all blue and silver, in the summer holidays when I reluctantly tore myself away from the task of doing nothing in particular, and put on a hat of some sort and picked up a walking-stick, and put six very bright-coloured chalks in my pocket. I then went into the kitchen (which, along with the rest of the house, belonged to a very square and sensible old woman in a Sussex village), and asked the owner and occupant of the kitchen if she had any brown paper. She had a great deal; in fact, she had too much; and she mistook the purpose and the rationale of the existence of brown paper. She seemed to have an idea that if a person wanted brown paper he must be wanting to tie up parcels; which was the last thing I wanted to do; indeed, it is a thing which I have found to be beyond my mental capacity. Hence she dwelt very much on the varying qualities of toughness and endurance in the material. I explained to her that I only wanted to draw pictures on it, and that I did not want them to endure in the least; and that from my point of view, therefore, it was a question, not of tough consistency, but of responsive surface, a thing comparatively irrelevant in a parcel. When she understood that I wanted to draw she offered to overwhelm me with note-paper, apparently supposing that I did my notes and correspondence on old brown paper wrappers from motives of economy.

I then tried to explain the rather delicate logical shade, that I not only liked brown paper, but liked the quality of brownness in paper, just as I liked the quality of brownness in October woods, or in beer, or in the peat-streams of the North. Brown paper represents the primal twilight of the first toil of creation, and with a bright-coloured chalk or two you can pick out points of fire in it, sparks of gold, and blood-red, and sea-green, like the first fierce stars that sprang out of divine darkness. All this I said (in an off-hand way) to the old woman; and I put the brown paper in my pocket along with the chalks, and possibly other things. I suppose every one must have reflected how primeval and how poetical are the things that one carries in one’s pocket; the pocket-knife, for instance, the type of all human tools, the infant of the sword. Once I planned to write a book of poems entirely about the things in my pockets. But I found it would be too long; and the age of the great epics is past.

… . .

With my stick and my knife, my chalks and my brown paper, I went out on to the great downs. I crawled across those colossal contours that express the best quality of England, because they are at the same time soft and strong. The smoothness of them has the same meaning as the smoothness of great cart-horses, or the smoothness of the beech-tree; it declares in the teeth of our timid and cruel theories that the mighty are merciful. As my eye swept the landscape, the landscape was as kindly as any of its cottages, but for power it was like an earthquake. The villages in the immense valley were safe, one could see, for centuries; yet the lifting of the whole land was like the lifting of one enormous wave to wash them all away.

I crossed one swell of living turf after another, looking for a place to sit down and draw. Do not, for heaven’s sake, imagine I was going to sketch from Nature. I was going to draw devils and seraphim, and blind old gods that men worshipped before the dawn of right, and saints in robes of angry crimson, and seas of strange green, and all the sacred or monstrous symbols that look so well in bright colours on brown paper. They are much better worth drawing than Nature; also they are much easier to draw. When a cow came slouching by in the field next to me, a mere artist might have drawn it; but I always get wrong in the hind legs of quadrupeds. So I drew the soul of the cow; which I saw there plainly walking before me in the sunlight; and the soul was all purple and silver, and had seven horns and the mystery that belongs to all the beasts. But though I could not with a crayon get the best out of the landscape, it does not follow that the landscape was not getting the best out of me. And this, I think, is the mistake that people make about the old poets who lived before Wordsworth, and were supposed not to care very much about Nature because they did not describe it much.

They preferred writing about great men to writing about great hills; but they sat on the great hills to write it. They gave out much less about Nature, but they drank in, perhaps, much more. They painted the white robes of their holy virgins with the blinding snow, at which they had stared all day. They blazoned the shields of their paladins with the purple and gold of many heraldic sunsets. The greenness of a thousand green leaves clustered into the live green figure of Robin Hood. The blueness of a score of forgotten skies became the blue robes of the Virgin. The inspiration went in like sunbeams and came out like Apollo.

… . .

But as I sat scrawling these silly figures on the brown paper, it began to dawn on me, to my great disgust, that I had left one chalk, and that a most exquisite and essential chalk, behind. I searched all my pockets, but I could not find any white chalk. Now, those who are acquainted with all the philosophy (nay, religion) which is typified in the art of drawing on brown paper, know that white is positive and essential. I cannot avoid remarking here upon a moral significance. One of the wise and awful truths which this brown-paper art reveals, is this, that white is a colour. It is not a mere absence of colour; it is a shining and affirmative thing, as fierce as red, as definite as black. When, so to speak, your pencil grows red-hot, it draws roses; when it grows white-hot, it draws stars. And one of the two or three defiant verities of the best religious morality, of real Christianity, for example, is exactly this same thing; the chief assertion of religious morality is that white is a colour. Virtue is not the absence of vices or the avoidance of moral dangers; virtue is a vivid and separate thing, like pain or a particular smell. Mercy does not mean not being cruel or sparing people revenge or punishment; it means a plain and positive thing like the sun, which one has either seen or not seen.

Chastity does not mean abstention from sexual wrong; it means something flaming, like Joan of Arc. In a word, God paints in many colours; but He never paints so gorgeously, I had almost said so gaudily, as when He paints in white. In a sense our age has realised this fact, and expressed it in our sullen costume. For if it were really true that white was a blank and colourless thing, negative and non-committal, then white would be used instead of black and grey for the funeral dress of this pessimistic period. We should see city gentlemen in frock coats of spotless silver linen, with top hats as white as wonderful arum lilies. Which is not the case.

Meanwhile, I could not find my chalk.

… . .

I sat on the hill in a sort of despair. There was no town nearer than Chichester at which it was even remotely probable that there would be such a thing as an artist’s colourman. And yet, without white, my absurd little pictures would be as pointless as the world would be if there were no good people in it. I stared stupidly round, racking my brain for expedients. Then I suddenly stood up and roared with laughter, again and again, so that the cows stared at me and called a committee. Imagine a man in the Sahara regretting that he had no sand for his hour-glass. Imagine a gentleman in mid-ocean wishing that he had brought some salt water with him for his chemical experiments. I was sitting on an immense warehouse of white chalk. The landscape was made entirely out of white chalk. White chalk was piled more miles until it met the sky. I stooped and broke a piece off the rock I sat on; it did not mark so well as the shop chalks do; but it gave the effect. And I stood there in a trance of pleasure, realising that this Southern England is not only a grand peninsula, and a tradition and a civilisation; it is something even more admirable. It is a piece of chalk.

II

Un pezzo di gesso

Ricordo un mattino splendido, tutto azzurro e argento, durante le vacanze d’estate, quando a malincuore mi strappai dal compito di non fare nulla di particolare, mi misi un cappello di qualche foggia, raccolsi un bastone da passeggio e infilai in tasca sei gessetti dai colori vivacissimi. Andai poi in cucina (che, insieme al resto della casa, apparteneva a una vecchia signora molto squadrata e assennata di un villaggio del Sussex), e chiesi alla proprietaria e occupante della cucina se avesse della carta da pacchi. Ne aveva parecchia; anzi, ne aveva troppa; e fraintese lo scopo e la ragion d’essere della carta da pacchi. Sembrava avere l’idea che, se una persona voleva carta da pacchi, doveva volerci incartare dei pacchi; il che era l’ultima cosa che desideravo fare; anzi, è una cosa che ho scoperto essere al di là delle mie capacità mentali. Perciò si soffermò a lungo sulle varie qualità di robustezza e resistenza del materiale. Le spiegai che volevo soltanto disegnarci sopra, e che non desideravo affatto che i disegni durassero; e che dal mio punto di vista, dunque, si trattava non di tenace consistenza, ma di superficie reattiva, cosa relativamente irrilevante in un pacco. Quando comprese che volevo disegnare, si offrì di sommergermi di carta da lettere, supponendo evidentemente che facessi i miei appunti e la mia corrispondenza su vecchi involucri di carta da pacchi per motivi di economia.

Cercai allora di spiegare la sfumatura logica piuttosto delicata, che non solo mi piaceva la carta da pacchi, ma mi piaceva la qualità del bruno nella carta, proprio come mi piaceva la qualità del bruno nei boschi d’ottobre, o nella birra, o nei ruscelli di torba del Nord. La carta da pacchi rappresenta il crepuscolo primordiale della prima fatica della creazione, e con uno o due gessi dai colori vivaci vi si possono far risaltare punti di fuoco, scintille d’oro, e rosso sangue, e verde marino, come le prime fiere stelle che scaturirono dalla divina oscurità. Tutto questo dissi (con noncuranza) alla vecchia signora; e misi la carta da pacchi in tasca insieme ai gessetti, e forse ad altre cose. Suppongo che ognuno debba aver riflettuto su quanto siano primordiali e poetiche le cose che si portano in tasca; il temperino, per esempio, il prototipo di tutti gli strumenti umani, il bambino della spada. Una volta progettai di scrivere un libro di poesie interamente sulle cose che avevo in tasca. Ma scoprii che sarebbe stato troppo lungo; e l’età dei grandi poemi epici è passata.

… . .

Con il mio bastone e il mio coltello, i miei gessetti e la mia carta da pacchi, uscii verso i grandi downs. Strisciai attraverso quei colossali contorni che esprimono la migliore qualità dell’Inghilterra, perché sono allo stesso tempo morbidi e forti. La loro levigatezza ha lo stesso significato della levigatezza dei grandi cavalli da tiro, o della levigatezza del faggio; dichiara, a dispetto delle nostre teorie timide e crudeli, che i potenti sono misericordiosi. Mentre il mio occhio spaziava sul paesaggio, il paesaggio era benevolo come una qualsiasi delle sue casette, ma quanto a potenza era come un terremoto. I villaggi nell’immensa valle erano al sicuro, si vedeva, per secoli; eppure il sollevarsi dell’intera terra era come il sollevarsi di un’unica onda enorme pronta a spazzarli via tutti.

Attraversai un’onda di viva zolla erbosa dopo l’altra, cercando un posto dove sedermi a disegnare. Non immaginate, per l’amor del cielo, che stessi per abbozzare dalla natura. Stavo per disegnare diavoli e serafini, e ciechi vecchi dèi che gli uomini adoravano prima dell’alba del diritto, e santi in vesti di cremisi adirato, e mari di uno strano verde, e tutti i simboli sacri o mostruosi che stanno così bene a colori vivaci sulla carta da pacchi. Valgono assai più la pena di essere disegnati della natura; e sono anche assai più facili da disegnare. Quando una mucca passò trascinandosi nel campo accanto a me, un mero artista avrebbe potuto disegnarla; ma io sbaglio sempre le zampe posteriori dei quadrupedi. Così disegnai l’anima della mucca; che vidi lì chiaramente camminare davanti a me alla luce del sole; e l’anima era tutta di porpora e argento, e aveva sette corna e il mistero che appartiene a tutte le bestie. Ma sebbene io non potessi, con un pastello, trarre il meglio dal paesaggio, non ne consegue che il paesaggio non stesse traendo il meglio da me. E questo, credo, è l’errore che la gente commette a proposito dei vecchi poeti che vissero prima di Wordsworth, e che si supponeva non si curassero molto della natura perché non la descrivevano molto.

Preferivano scrivere di grandi uomini piuttosto che di grandi colline; ma sedevano sulle grandi colline per scriverne. Rendevano assai meno riguardo alla natura, ma ne assorbivano, forse, assai di più. Dipingevano le bianche vesti delle loro sante vergini con l’accecante neve che avevano fissato tutto il giorno. Blasonavano gli scudi dei loro paladini con la porpora e l’oro di molti tramonti araldici. Il verde di mille verdi foglie si raccoglieva nella viva verde figura di Robin Hood. L’azzurro di una ventina di cieli dimenticati diveniva le azzurre vesti della Vergine. L’ispirazione entrava come raggi di sole e usciva come Apollo.

… . .

Ma mentre sedevo scarabocchiando queste sciocche figure sulla carta da pacchi, cominciò ad albeggiarmi in mente, con mio grande disgusto, che avevo lasciato un gesso, e per giunta un gesso quanto mai squisito ed essenziale. Frugai in tutte le mie tasche, ma non riuscii a trovare alcun gesso bianco. Ora, coloro che hanno familiarità con tutta la filosofia (anzi, la religione) che si esprime nell’arte del disegnare sulla carta da pacchi, sanno che il bianco è positivo ed essenziale. Non posso evitare di osservare qui un significato morale. Una delle sagge e tremende verità che quest’arte della carta da pacchi rivela è questa: che il bianco è un colore. Non è una mera assenza di colore; è una cosa splendente e affermativa, fiera come il rosso, netta come il nero. Quando, per così dire, la matita diventa incandescente di rosso, disegna rose; quando diventa incandescente di bianco, disegna stelle. E una delle due o tre sfidanti verità della migliore moralità religiosa, del vero cristianesimo, per esempio, è esattamente questa stessa cosa; l’asserzione principale della moralità religiosa è che il bianco è un colore. La virtù non è l’assenza dei vizi o l’evitare i pericoli morali; la virtù è una cosa viva e distinta, come il dolore o un particolare odore. La misericordia non significa non essere crudeli o risparmiare alla gente la vendetta o la punizione; significa una cosa semplice e positiva come il sole, che o si è vista o non si è vista.

La castità non significa astensione dal peccato sessuale; significa qualcosa di fiammeggiante, come Giovanna d’Arco. In una parola, Dio dipinge in molti colori; ma non dipinge mai così magnificamente, direi quasi così sgargiantemente, come quando dipinge in bianco. In un certo senso la nostra epoca ha compreso questo fatto, e lo ha espresso nel nostro cupo costume. Perché se fosse davvero vero che il bianco fosse una cosa vuota e incolore, negativa e non impegnativa, allora il bianco sarebbe usato al posto del nero e del grigio per l’abito funebre di questo periodo pessimistico. Vedremmo gentiluomini di città in redingote di immacolato lino argenteo, con cilindri bianchi come meravigliosi gigli di gala. Il che non è il caso.

Intanto, non riuscivo a trovare il mio gesso.

… . .

Sedevo sulla collina in una sorta di disperazione. Non c’era città più vicina di Chichester in cui fosse anche solo lontanamente probabile che esistesse una cosa come un fornitore di colori per artisti. Eppure, senza il bianco, i miei assurdi piccoli disegni sarebbero stati tanto privi di senso quanto lo sarebbe il mondo se non vi fossero brave persone. Mi guardai attorno stupidamente, spremendomi il cervello in cerca di espedienti. Poi all’improvviso mi alzai in piedi e scoppiai a ridere fragorosamente, ancora e ancora, tanto che le mucche mi fissarono e convocarono un comitato. Immaginate un uomo nel Sahara che si rammarichi di non avere sabbia per la sua clessidra. Immaginate un gentiluomo in mezzo all’oceano che desideri aver portato con sé un po’ d’acqua salata per i suoi esperimenti chimici. Ero seduto su un immenso magazzino di gesso bianco. Il paesaggio era fatto interamente di gesso bianco. Il gesso bianco si ammucchiava per miglia e miglia finché non incontrava il cielo. Mi chinai e staccai un pezzo dalla roccia su cui sedevo; non segnava così bene come i gessetti da negozio; ma dava l’effetto. E rimasi lì in estasi di piacere, comprendendo che questa Inghilterra meridionale non è soltanto una grandiosa penisola, e una tradizione, e una civiltà; è qualcosa di ancora più ammirevole. È un pezzo di gesso.

III

The Secret of a Train

All this talk of a railway mystery has sent my mind back to a loose memory. I will not merely say that this story is true: because, as you will soon see, it is all truth and no story. It has no explanation and no conclusion; it is, like most of the other things we encounter in life, a fragment of something else which would be intensely exciting if it were not too large to be seen. For the perplexity of life arises from there being too many interesting things in it for us to be interested properly in any of them; what we call its triviality is really the tag-ends of numberless tales; ordinary and unmeaning existence is like ten thousand thrilling detective stories mixed up with a spoon. My experience was a fragment of this nature, and it is, at any rate, not fictitious. Not only am I not making up the incidents (what there were of them), but I am not making up the atmosphere of the landscape, which were the whole horror of the thing. I remember them vividly, and they were as I shall now describe.

… . .

About noon of an ashen autumn day some years ago I was standing outside the station at Oxford intending to take the train to London. And for some reason, out of idleness or the emptiness of my mind or the emptiness of the pale grey sky, or the cold, a kind of caprice fell upon me that I would not go by that train at all, but would step out on the road and walk at least some part of the way to London. I do not know if other people are made like me in this matter; but to me it is always dreary weather, what may be called useless weather, that slings into life a sense of action and romance. On bright blue days I do not want anything to happen; the world is complete and beautiful, a thing for contemplation. I no more ask for adventures under that turquoise dome than I ask for adventures in church. But when the background of man’s life is a grey background, then, in the name of man’s sacred supremacy, I desire to paint on it in fire and gore. When the heavens fail man refuses to fail; when the sky seems to have written on it, in letters of lead and pale silver, the decree that nothing shall happen, then the immortal soul, the prince of the creatures, rises up and decrees that something shall happen, if it be only the slaughter of a policeman. But this is a digressive way of stating what I have said already— that the bleak sky awoke in me a hunger for some change of plans, that the monotonous weather seemed to render unbearable the use of the monotonous train, and that I set out into the country lanes, out of the town of Oxford. It was, perhaps, at that moment that a strange curse came upon me out of the city and the sky, whereby it was decreed that years afterwards I should, in an article in the DAILY NEWS, talk about Sir George Trevelyan in connection with Oxford, when I knew perfectly well that he went to Cambridge.

As I crossed the country everything was ghostly and colourless. The fields that should have been green were as grey as the skies; the tree-tops that should have been green were as grey as the clouds and as cloudy. And when I had walked for some hours the evening was closing in. A sickly sunset clung weakly to the horizon, as if pale with reluctance to leave the world in the dark. And as it faded more and more the skies seemed to come closer and to threaten. The clouds which had been merely sullen became swollen; and then they loosened and let down the dark curtains of the rain. The rain was blinding and seemed to beat like blows from an enemy at close quarters; the skies seemed bending over and bawling in my ears. I walked on many more miles before I met a man, and in that distance my mind had been made up; and when I met him I asked him if anywhere in the neighbourhood I could pick up the train for Paddington. He directed me to a small silent station (I cannot even remember the name of it) which stood well away from the road and looked as lonely as a hut on the Andes. I do not think I have ever seen such a type of time and sadness and scepticism and everything devilish as that station was: it looked as if it had always been raining there ever since the creation of the world. The water streamed from the soaking wood of it as if it were not water at all, but some loathsome liquid corruption of the wood itself; as if the solid station were eternally falling to pieces and pouring away in filth. It took me nearly ten minutes to find a man in the station. When I did he was a dull one, and when I asked him if there was a train to Paddington his answer was sleepy and vague. As far as I understood him, he said there would be a train in half an hour. I sat down and lit a cigar and waited, watching the last tail of the tattered sunset and listening to the everlasting rain. It may have been in half an hour or less, but a train came rather slowly into the station. It was an unnaturally dark train; I could not see a light anywhere in the long black body of it; and I could not see any guard running beside it. I was reduced to walking up to the engine and calling out to the stoker to ask if the train was going to London. “Well—yes, sir,” he said, with an unaccountable kind of reluctance. “It is going to London; but----” It was just starting, and I jumped into the first carriage; it was pitch dark. I sat there smoking and wondering, as we steamed through the continually darkening landscape, lined with desolate poplars, until we slowed down and stopped, irrationally, in the middle of a field. I heard a heavy noise as of some one clambering off the train, and a dark, ragged head suddenly put itself into my window. “Excuse me, sir,” said the stoker, “but I think, perhaps—well, perhaps you ought to know—there’s a dead man in this train.”

… . .

Had I been a true artist, a person of exquisite susceptibilities and nothing else, I should have been bound, no doubt, to be finally overwhelmed with this sensational touch, and to have insisted on getting out and walking. As it was, I regret to say, I expressed myself politely, but firmly, to the effect that I didn’t care particularly if the train took me to Paddington. But when the train had started with its unknown burden I did do one thing, and do it quite instinctively, without stopping to think, or to think more than a flash. I threw away my cigar. Something that is as old as man and has to do with all mourning and ceremonial told me to do it. There was something unnecessarily horrible, it seemed to me, in the idea of there being only two men in that train, and one of them dead and the other smoking a cigar. And as the red and gold of the butt end of it faded like a funeral torch trampled out at some symbolic moment of a procession, I realised how immortal ritual is. I realised (what is the origin and essence of all ritual) that in the presence of those sacred riddles about which we can say nothing it is more decent merely to do something. And I realised that ritual will always mean throwing away something; DESTROYING our corn or wine upon the altar of our gods.

When the train panted at last into Paddington Station I sprang out of it with a suddenly released curiosity. There was a barrier and officials guarding the rear part of the train; no one was allowed to press towards it. They were guarding and hiding something; perhaps death in some too shocking form, perhaps something like the Merstham matter, so mixed up with human mystery and wickedness that the land has to give it a sort of sanctity; perhaps something worse than either. I went out gladly enough into the streets and saw the lamps shining on the laughing faces. Nor have I ever known from that day to this into what strange story I wandered or what frightful thing was my companion in the dark.

IV

THE PERFECT GAME

We have all met the man who says that some odd things have happened to him, but that he does not really believe that they were supernatural. My own position is the opposite of this. I believe in the supernatural as a matter of intellect and reason, not as a matter of personal experience. I do not see ghosts; I only see their inherent probability. But it is entirely a matter of the mere intelligence, not even of the motions; my nerves and body are altogether of this earth, very earthy. But upon people of this temperament one weird incident will often leave a peculiar impression. And the weirdest circumstance that ever occurred to me occurred a little while ago. It consisted in nothing less than my playing a game, and playing it quite well for some seventeen consecutive minutes. The ghost of my grandfather would have astonished me less.

On one of these blue and burning afternoons I found myself, to my inexpressible astonishment, playing a game called croquet. I had imagined that it belonged to the epoch of Leach and Anthony Trollope, and I had neglected to provide myself with those very long and luxuriant side whiskers which are really essential to such a scene. I played it with a man whom we will call Parkinson, and with whom I had a semi-philosophical argument which lasted through the entire contest. It is deeply implanted in my mind that I had the best of the argument; but it is certain and beyond dispute that I had the worst of the game.

“Oh, Parkinson, Parkinson!” I cried, patting him affectionately on the head with a mallet, “how far you really are from the pure love of the sport—you who can play. It is only we who play badly who love the Game itself. You love glory; you love applause; you love the earthquake voice of victory; you do not love croquet. You do not love croquet until you love being beaten at croquet. It is we the bunglers who adore the occupation in the abstract. It is we to whom it is art for art’s sake. If we may see the face of Croquet herself (if I may so express myself) we are content to see her face turned upon us in anger. Our play is called amateurish; and we wear proudly the name of amateur, for amateurs is but the French for Lovers. We accept all adventures from our Lady, the most disastrous or the most dreary. We wait outside her iron gates (I allude to the hoops), vainly essaying to enter. Our devoted balls, impetuous and full of chivalry, will not be confined within the pedantic boundaries of the mere croquet ground. Our balls seek honour in the ends of the earth; they turn up in the flower-beds and the conservatory; they are to be found in the front garden and the next street. No, Parkinson! The good painter has skill. It is the bad painter who loves his art. The good musician loves being a musician, the bad musician loves music. With such a pure and hopeless passion do I worship croquet. I love the game itself. I love the parallelogram of grass marked out with chalk or tape, as if its limits were the frontiers of my sacred Fatherland, the four seas of Britain. I love the mere swing of the mallets, and the click of the balls is music. The four colours are to me sacramental and symbolic, like the red of martyrdom, or the white of Easter Day. You lose all this, my poor Parkinson. You have to solace yourself for the absence of this vision by the paltry consolation of being able to go through hoops and to hit the stick.”

And I waved my mallet in the air with a graceful gaiety.

“Don’t be too sorry for me,” said Parkinson, with his simple sarcasm. “I shall get over it in time. But it seems to me that the more a man likes a game the better he would want to play it. Granted that the pleasure in the thing itself comes first, does not the pleasure of success come naturally and inevitably afterwards? Or, take your own simile of the Knight and his Lady-love. I admit the gentleman does first and foremost want to be in the lady’s presence. But I never yet heard of a gentleman who wanted to look an utter ass when he was there.”

“Perhaps not; though he generally looks it,” I replied. “But the truth is that there is a fallacy in the simile, although it was my own. The happiness at which the lover is aiming is an infinite happiness, which can be extended without limit. The more he is loved, normally speaking, the jollier he will be. It is definitely true that the stronger the love of both lovers, the stronger will be the happiness. But it is not true that the stronger the play of both croquet players the stronger will be the game. It is logically possible—(follow me closely here, Parkinson!)— it is logically possible, to play croquet too well to enjoy it at all. If you could put this blue ball through that distant hoop as easily as you could pick it up with your hand, then you would not put it through that hoop any more than you pick it up with your hand; it would not be worth doing. If you could play unerringly you would not play at all. The moment the game is perfect the game disappears.”

“I do not think, however,” said Parkinson, “that you are in any immediate danger of effecting that sort of destruction. I do not think your croquet will vanish through its own faultless excellence. You are safe for the present.”

I again caressed him with the mallet, knocked a ball about, wired myself, and resumed the thread of my discourse.

The long, warm evening had been gradually closing in, and by this time it was almost twilight. By the time I had delivered four more fundamental principles, and my companion had gone through five more hoops, the dusk was verging upon dark.

“We shall have to give this up,” said Parkinson, as he missed a ball almost for the first time, “I can’t see a thing.”

“Nor can I,” I answered, “and it is a comfort to reflect that I could not hit anything if I saw it.”

With that I struck a ball smartly, and sent it away into the darkness towards where the shadowy figure of Parkinson moved in the hot haze. Parkinson immediately uttered a loud and dramatic cry. The situation, indeed, called for it. I had hit the right ball.

Stunned with astonishment, I crossed the gloomy ground, and hit my ball again. It went through a hoop. I could not see the hoop; but it was the right hoop. I shuddered from head to foot.

Words were wholly inadequate, so I slouched heavily after that impossible ball. Again I hit it away into the night, in what I supposed was the vague direction of the quite invisible stick. And in the dead silence I heard the stick rattle as the ball struck it heavily.

I threw down my mallet. “I can’t stand this,” I said. “My ball has gone right three times. These things are not of this world.”

“Pick your mallet up,” said Parkinson, “have another go.”

“I tell you I daren’t. If I made another hoop like that I should see all the devils dancing there on the blessed grass.”

“Why devils?” asked Parkinson; “they may be only fairies making fun of you. They are sending you the ‘Perfect Game,’ which is no game.”

I looked about me. The garden was full of a burning darkness, in which the faint glimmers had the look of fire. I stepped across the grass as if it burnt me, picked up the mallet, and hit the ball somewhere—somewhere where another ball might be. I heard the dull click of the balls touching, and ran into the house like one pursued.

IV

LA PARTITA PERFETTA

Abbiamo tutti incontrato l’uomo che dice che gli sono capitate certe cose strane, ma che in realtà non crede fossero soprannaturali. La mia posizione è l’opposto di questa. Io credo nel soprannaturale come questione di intelletto e ragione, non come questione di esperienza personale. Non vedo fantasmi; vedo soltanto la loro intrinseca probabilità. Ma è interamente una questione di mera intelligenza, e nemmeno delle emozioni; i miei nervi e il mio corpo sono del tutto di questa terra, molto terreni. Ma su persone di questo temperamento un unico episodio bizzarro lascerà spesso un’impressione particolare. E la circostanza più bizzarra che mi sia mai capitata mi è capitata poco tempo fa. Consistette in niente meno che nel giocare una partita, e giocarla piuttosto bene per una diciassettina di minuti consecutivi. Il fantasma di mio nonno mi avrebbe stupito meno.

In uno di questi pomeriggi azzurri e ardenti mi ritrovai, con mio inesprimibile stupore, a giocare a un gioco chiamato croquet. Avevo immaginato che appartenesse all’epoca di Leach e di Anthony Trollope, e avevo trascurato di provvedermi di quei lunghissimi e lussureggianti favoriti che sono davvero essenziali a una simile scena. Vi giocai con un uomo che chiameremo Parkinson, e con il quale ebbi una discussione semifilosofica che durò per tutta la contesa. È profondamente radicato nella mia mente che ebbi la meglio nella discussione; ma è certo e fuori discussione che ebbi la peggio nella partita.

«Oh, Parkinson, Parkinson!», esclamai, dandogli affettuose pacche sul capo con un maglio, «quanto sei davvero lontano dal puro amore dello sport… tu che sai giocare. Siamo solo noi che giochiamo male ad amare il Gioco in sé. Tu ami la gloria; tu ami l’applauso; tu ami la voce sismica della vittoria; tu non ami il croquet. Non ami il croquet finché non ami essere sconfitto al croquet. Siamo noi, i pasticcioni, ad adorare l’occupazione in astratto. Siamo noi per i quali essa è arte per l’arte. Se ci è dato di vedere il volto del Croquet in persona (se posso esprimermi così) ci accontentiamo di vederne il volto rivolto verso di noi con ira. Il nostro gioco è detto dilettantesco; e portiamo con orgoglio il nome di dilettanti, perché “amateur” non è che il francese per amanti. Accettiamo tutte le avventure dalla nostra Signora, le più disastrose o le più tediose. Attendiamo fuori dai suoi cancelli di ferro (alludo agli archetti), tentando invano di entrare. Le nostre devote palle, impetuose e piene di cavalleria, non si lasceranno confinare entro i pedanti confini del mero campo da croquet. Le nostre palle cercano l’onore agli estremi confini della terra; spuntano nelle aiuole e nella serra; le si ritrova nel giardino anteriore e nella via accanto. No, Parkinson! Il buon pittore ha abilità. È il cattivo pittore che ama la propria arte. Il buon musicista ama essere musicista, il cattivo musicista ama la musica. Con una così pura e disperata passione io venero il croquet. Amo il gioco in sé. Amo il parallelogramma d’erba tracciato col gesso o col nastro, come se i suoi limiti fossero le frontiere della mia sacra Patria, i quattro mari della Britannia. Amo il semplice oscillare dei magli, e il click delle palle è musica. I quattro colori sono per me sacramentali e simbolici, come il rosso del martirio, o il bianco del giorno di Pasqua. Tu perdi tutto questo, mio povero Parkinson. Devi consolarti dell’assenza di questa visione con la meschina consolazione di poter passare attraverso gli archetti e colpire il paletto».

E agitai il mio maglio nell’aria con una graziosa gaiezza.

«Non ti dispiacere troppo per me», disse Parkinson, con il suo semplice sarcasmo. «Col tempo mi passerà. Ma mi pare che quanto più un uomo ama un gioco, tanto più vorrebbe giocarlo bene. Ammesso che il piacere della cosa in sé venga per primo, non viene forse il piacere del successo naturalmente e inevitabilmente dopo? Oppure, prendi la tua stessa similitudine del Cavaliere e della sua Dama-amore. Ammetto che il gentiluomo vuole anzitutto e soprattutto essere alla presenza della dama. Ma non ho ancora mai sentito di un gentiluomo che desiderasse avere l’aria di un perfetto somaro quando vi si trovava».

«Forse no; benché generalmente ne abbia l’aria», risposi. «Ma la verità è che c’è una fallacia nella similitudine, per quanto fosse mia. La felicità cui l’amante mira è una felicità infinita, che può essere estesa senza limite. Quanto più egli è amato, normalmente parlando, tanto più sarà gioioso. È decisamente vero che quanto più forte è l’amore di entrambi gli amanti, tanto più forte sarà la felicità. Ma non è vero che quanto più forte è il gioco di entrambi i giocatori di croquet, tanto più forte sarà la partita. È logicamente possibile… (seguimi attentamente qui, Parkinson!)… è logicamente possibile giocare a croquet troppo bene per goderne affatto. Se tu potessi far passare questa palla azzurra attraverso quell’archetto lontano con la stessa facilità con cui potresti raccoglierla con la mano, allora non la faresti passare attraverso quell’archetto più di quanto la raccoglieresti con la mano; non varrebbe la pena di farlo. Se potessi giocare in modo infallibile non giocheresti affatto. Nel momento in cui la partita è perfetta la partita svanisce».

«Non credo, tuttavia», disse Parkinson, «che tu corra alcun pericolo immediato di operare quel genere di distruzione. Non credo che il tuo croquet svanirà per la propria impeccabile eccellenza. Per il momento sei al sicuro».

Lo carezzai di nuovo col maglio, feci rotolare qua e là una palla, mi schermai dietro un archetto, e ripresi il filo del mio discorso.

La lunga, calda serata si era andata gradualmente chiudendo, e a quel momento era quasi crepuscolo. Nel tempo in cui ebbi enunciato altri quattro principi fondamentali, e il mio compagno ebbe attraversato altri cinque archetti, la penombra volgeva al buio.

«Dovremo rinunciare», disse Parkinson, mancando una palla quasi per la prima volta, «non riesco a vedere niente».

«Nemmeno io», risposi, «ed è un conforto riflettere che non riuscirei a colpire nulla anche se lo vedessi».

Con ciò colpii una palla con un colpo secco, e la mandai via nel buio verso il punto dove la figura ombrosa di Parkinson si muoveva nella calda foschia. Parkinson emise immediatamente un grido forte e drammatico. La situazione, in verità, lo richiedeva. Avevo colpito la palla giusta.

Stordito dallo stupore, attraversai il terreno tenebroso, e colpii di nuovo la mia palla. Passò attraverso un archetto. Non riuscivo a vedere l’archetto; ma era l’archetto giusto. Rabbrividii da capo a piedi.

Le parole erano del tutto inadeguate, così mi trascinai pesantemente dietro quella palla impossibile. Di nuovo la colpii lontano nella notte, in quella che supponevo fosse la vaga direzione del paletto del tutto invisibile. E nel silenzio di morte udii il paletto tintinnare mentre la palla lo colpiva pesantemente.

Gettai a terra il mio maglio. «Non lo sopporto», dissi. «La mia palla è andata a segno tre volte. Queste cose non sono di questo mondo».

«Raccogli il tuo maglio», disse Parkinson, «fai un altro tiro».

«Ti dico che non oso. Se facessi un altro archetto come quello vedrei tutti i diavoli danzare là sulla benedetta erba».

«Perché diavoli?», chiese Parkinson; «potrebbero essere solo fate che si prendono gioco di te. Ti stanno inviando la “Partita Perfetta”, che non è una partita».

Mi guardai attorno. Il giardino era pieno di un’ardente oscurità, in cui i deboli barlumi avevano l’aspetto del fuoco. Attraversai l’erba come se mi bruciasse, raccolsi il maglio, e colpii la palla da qualche parte… da qualche parte dove poteva esserci un’altra palla. Udii il sordo click delle palle che si toccavano, e corsi verso casa come uno inseguito.

V

The Extraordinary Cabman

From time to time I have introduced into this newspaper column the narration of incidents that have really occurred. I do not mean to insinuate that in this respect it stands alone among newspaper columns. I mean only that I have found that my meaning was better expressed by some practical parable out of daily life than by any other method; therefore I propose to narrate the incident of the extraordinary cabman, which occurred to me only three days ago, and which, slight as it apparently is, aroused in me a moment of genuine emotion bordering upon despair.

On the day that I met the strange cabman I had been lunching in a little restaurant in Soho in company with three or four of my best friends. My best friends are all either bottomless sceptics or quite uncontrollable believers, so our discussion at luncheon turned upon the most ultimate and terrible ideas. And the whole argument worked out ultimately to this: that the question is whether a man can be certain of anything at all. I think he can be certain, for if (as I said to my friend, furiously brandishing an empty bottle) it is impossible intellectually to entertain certainty, what is this certainty which it is impossible to entertain? If I have never experienced such a thing as certainty I cannot even say that a thing is not certain. Similarly, if I have never experienced such a thing as green I cannot even say that my nose is not green. It may be as green as possible for all I know, if I have really no experience of greenness. So we shouted at each other and shook the room; because metaphysics is the only thoroughly emotional thing. And the difference between us was very deep, because it was a difference as to the object of the whole thing called broad-mindedness or the opening of the intellect. For my friend said that he opened his intellect as the sun opens the fans of a palm tree, opening for opening’s sake, opening infinitely for ever. But I said that I opened my intellect as I opened my mouth, in order to shut it again on something solid. I was doing it at the moment. And as I truly pointed out, it would look uncommonly silly if I went on opening my mouth infinitely, for ever and ever.

… . .

Now when this argument was over, or at least when it was cut short (for it will never be over), I went away with one of my companions, who in the confusion and comparative insanity of a General Election had somehow become a member of Parliament, and I drove with him in a cab from the corner of Leicester-square to the members’ entrance of the House of Commons, where the police received me with a quite unusual tolerance. Whether they thought that he was my keeper or that I was his keeper is a discussion between us which still continues.

It is necessary in this narrative to preserve the utmost exactitude of detail. After leaving my friend at the House I took the cab on a few hundred yards to an office in Victoria-street which I had to visit. I then got out and offered him more than his fare. He looked at it, but not with the surly doubt and general disposition to try it on which is not unknown among normal cabmen. But this was no normal, perhaps, no human, cabman. He looked at it with a dull and infantile astonishment, clearly quite genuine. “Do you know, sir,” he said, “you’ve only given me 1s.8d?” I remarked, with some surprise, that I did know it. “Now you know, sir,” said he in a kindly, appealing, reasonable way, “you know that ain’t the fare from Euston.” “Euston,” I repeated vaguely, for the phrase at that moment sounded to me like China or Arabia. “What on earth has Euston got to do with it?” “You hailed me just outside Euston Station,” began the man with astonishing precision, “and then you said----” “What in the name of Tartarus are you talking about?” I said with Christian forbearance; “I took you at the south-west corner of Leicester-square.” “Leicester-square,” he exclaimed, loosening a kind of cataract of scorn, “why we ain’t been near Leicester-square to-day. You hailed me outside Euston Station, and you said----” “Are you mad, or am I?” I asked with scientific calm.

I looked at the man. No ordinary dishonest cabman would think of creating so solid and colossal and creative a lie. And this man was not a dishonest cabman. If ever a human face was heavy and simple and humble, and with great big blue eyes protruding like a frog’s, if ever (in short) a human face was all that a human face should be, it was the face of that resentful and respectful cabman. I looked up and down the street; an unusually dark twilight seemed to be coming on. And for one second the old nightmare of the sceptic put its finger on my nerve. What was certainty? Was anybody certain of anything? Heavens! to think of the dull rut of the sceptics who go on asking whether we possess a future life. The exciting question for real scepticism is whether we possess a past life. What is a minute ago, rationalistically considered, except a tradition and a picture? The darkness grew deeper from the road. The cabman calmly gave me the most elaborate details of the gesture, the words, the complex but consistent course of action which I had adopted since that remarkable occasion when I had hailed him outside Euston Station. How did I know (my sceptical friends would say) that I had not hailed him outside Euston. I was firm about my assertion; he was quite equally firm about his. He was obviously quite as honest a man as I, and a member of a much more respectable profession. In that moment the universe and the stars swung just a hair’s breadth from their balance, and the foundations of the earth were moved. But for the same reason that I believe in Democracy, for the same reason that I believe in free will, for the same reason that I believe in fixed character of virtue, the reason that could only be expressed by saying that I do not choose to be a lunatic, I continued to believe that this honest cabman was wrong, and I repeated to him that I had really taken him at the corner of Leicester-square. He began with the same evident and ponderous sincerity, “You hailed me outside Euston Station, and you said----”

And at this moment there came over his features a kind of frightful transfiguration of living astonishment, as if he had been lit up like a lamp from the inside. “Why, I beg your pardon, sir,” he said. “I beg your pardon. I beg your pardon. You took me from Leicester-square. I remember now. I beg your pardon.” And with that this astonishing man let out his whip with a sharp crack at his horse and went trundling away. The whole of which interview, before the banner of St. George I swear, is strictly true.

… . .

I looked at the strange cabman as he lessened in the distance and the mists. I do not know whether I was right in fancying that although his face had seemed so honest there was something unearthly and demoniac about him when seen from behind. Perhaps he had been sent to tempt me from my adherence to those sanities and certainties which I had defended earlier in the day. In any case it gave me pleasure to remember that my sense of reality, though it had rocked for an instant, had remained erect.

V

Lo Straordinario Vetturino

Di tempo in tempo ho introdotto in questa rubrica di giornale la narrazione di episodi realmente accaduti. Non intendo insinuare che sotto questo aspetto essa sia sola fra le rubriche di giornale. Intendo solo dire che ho scoperto che il mio significato veniva meglio espresso da qualche parabola pratica tratta dalla vita quotidiana che da qualsiasi altro metodo; perciò mi propongo di narrare l’episodio dello straordinario vetturino, che mi è capitato soltanto tre giorni fa, e che, per quanto in apparenza insignificante, suscitò in me un momento di genuina emozione ai confini della disperazione.

Il giorno in cui incontrai lo strano vetturino avevo pranzato in un piccolo ristorante a Soho in compagnia di tre o quattro dei miei migliori amici. I miei migliori amici sono tutti o scettici senza fondo o credenti del tutto incontrollabili, sicché la nostra discussione a pranzo si volse alle idee più ultime e terribili. E l’intera argomentazione si ridusse alla fine a questo: che la questione è se un uomo possa essere certo di qualcosa. Io penso che possa esserne certo, perché se (come dissi al mio amico, brandendo furiosamente una bottiglia vuota) è impossibile intellettualmente concepire la certezza, che cos’è questa certezza che è impossibile concepire? Se non ho mai sperimentato una cosa come la certezza non posso nemmeno dire che una cosa non è certa. Similmente, se non ho mai sperimentato una cosa come il verde non posso nemmeno dire che il mio naso non è verde. Potrebbe essere verde quanto più è possibile, per quel che ne so, se davvero non ho alcuna esperienza del verde. Così ci gridammo l’un l’altro e facemmo tremare la stanza; perché la metafisica è l’unica cosa integralmente emotiva. E la differenza tra noi era assai profonda, perché era una differenza quanto all’oggetto dell’intera faccenda chiamata apertura mentale o apertura dell’intelletto. Poiché il mio amico diceva di aprire il proprio intelletto come il sole apre i ventagli di una palma, aprendosi per amore dell’aprirsi, aprendosi infinitamente per sempre. Ma io dissi che aprivo il mio intelletto come aprivo la bocca, allo scopo di richiuderla di nuovo su qualcosa di solido. Lo stavo facendo in quel momento. E come giustamente feci notare, avrebbe un aspetto assai sciocco se continuassi ad aprire la bocca all’infinito, per sempre ed eternamente.

… . .

Ora, quando questa discussione fu finita, o almeno quando fu interrotta (perché non sarà mai finita), me ne andai con uno dei miei compagni, il quale nella confusione e nella relativa follia di elezioni generali era in qualche modo diventato membro del Parlamento, e viaggiai con lui in una vettura dall’angolo di Leicester-square all’ingresso dei membri della Camera dei Comuni, dove la polizia mi accolse con una tolleranza del tutto insolita. Se pensassero che egli fosse il mio custode o che io fossi il suo custode è una discussione tra noi che ancora continua.

È necessario in questa narrazione conservare la massima esattezza di dettaglio. Dopo aver lasciato il mio amico alla Camera presi la vettura per qualche centinaio di iarde fino a un ufficio in Victoria-street che dovevo visitare. Scesi poi e gli offrii più della sua tariffa. La guardò, ma non con quella scontrosa diffidenza e con quella generale disposizione a tentare il colpo che non sono ignote fra i vetturini normali. Ma questo non era un normale, forse nemmeno umano, vetturino. La guardò con uno stupore ottuso e infantile, chiaramente del tutto genuino. «Sa, signore», disse, «mi ha dato solo 1 scellino e 8 pence?». Osservai, con una certa sorpresa, che lo sapevo. «Ora lei sa, signore», disse in modo gentile, supplichevole, ragionevole, «lei sa che quella non è la tariffa da Euston». «Euston», ripetei vagamente, perché in quel momento la parola mi suonava come Cina o Arabia. «Che diamine c’entra Euston?». «Mi ha chiamato proprio fuori dalla stazione di Euston», cominciò l’uomo con stupefacente precisione, «e poi ha detto…». «Di che cosa in nome del Tartaro state parlando?», dissi con cristiana longanimità; «vi ho preso all’angolo sud-ovest di Leicester-square». «Leicester-square», esclamò, sciogliendo una sorta di cateratta di disprezzo, «ma se oggi non siamo nemmeno stati vicino a Leicester-square. Mi ha chiamato fuori dalla stazione di Euston, e ha detto…». «Siete pazzo voi, o lo sono io?», chiesi con scientifica calma.

Guardai l’uomo. Nessun vetturino disonesto comune penserebbe di creare una menzogna così solida e colossale e creativa. E quest’uomo non era un vetturino disonesto. Se mai un volto umano fu pesante e semplice e umile, e con due grandi occhi azzurri sporgenti come quelli di una rana, se mai (in breve) un volto umano fu tutto ciò che un volto umano dovrebbe essere, era il volto di quel risentito e rispettoso vetturino. Guardai su e giù per la strada; un crepuscolo insolitamente scuro sembrava scendere. E per un secondo il vecchio incubo dello scettico posò il dito sul mio nervo. Che cos’era la certezza? Era qualcuno certo di qualcosa? Cielo! pensare al monotono solco degli scettici che continuano a chiedersi se possediamo una vita futura. La domanda eccitante per il vero scetticismo è se possediamo una vita passata. Che cos’è un minuto fa, considerato razionalisticamente, se non una tradizione e un’immagine? L’oscurità si faceva più profonda dalla strada. Il vetturino mi diede con calma i dettagli più minuziosi del gesto, delle parole, del complesso ma coerente corso d’azione che avevo adottato da quella notevole occasione in cui l’avevo chiamato fuori dalla stazione di Euston. Come facevo a sapere (direbbero i miei amici scettici) di non averlo chiamato fuori da Euston. Ero fermo nella mia affermazione; egli era del tutto altrettanto fermo nella sua. Era evidentemente un uomo tanto onesto quanto me, e membro di una professione assai più rispettabile. In quel momento l’universo e le stelle oscillarono di un capello dal loro equilibrio, e le fondamenta della terra furono smosse. Ma per la stessa ragione per cui credo nella Democrazia, per la stessa ragione per cui credo nel libero arbitrio, per la stessa ragione per cui credo nel carattere fisso della virtù, la ragione che potrebbe esprimersi solo dicendo che non scelgo di essere un pazzo, continuai a credere che questo onesto vetturino avesse torto, e gli ripetei che l’avevo davvero preso all’angolo di Leicester-square. Egli ricominciò con la stessa evidente e ponderosa sincerità: «Mi ha chiamato fuori dalla stazione di Euston, e ha detto…».

E in quel momento sopravvenne sui suoi lineamenti una sorta di spaventosa trasfigurazione di vivo stupore, come se fosse stato illuminato come una lampada dall’interno. «Ma, le chiedo scusa, signore», disse. «Le chiedo scusa. Le chiedo scusa. Mi ha preso da Leicester-square. Ora ricordo. Le chiedo scusa». E con ciò questo stupefacente uomo fece schioccare la frusta con un colpo secco sul suo cavallo e se ne andò via sferragliando. L’intero colloquio, davanti allo stendardo di San Giorgio lo giuro, è rigorosamente vero.

… . .

Guardai lo strano cabman mentre si rimpiccioliva nella distanza e nelle brume. Non so se avessi ragione nell’immaginare che, per quanto il suo volto fosse sembrato tanto onesto, vi fosse qualcosa di ultraterreno e demoniaco in lui, quando lo si vedeva di spalle. Forse era stato mandato a tentarmi dalla mia adesione a quelle sanità e certezze che avevo difeso poco prima nella giornata. In ogni caso mi diede piacere ricordare che il mio senso della realtà, per quanto avesse vacillato per un istante, era rimasto eretto.

VI

An Accident

Some time ago I wrote in these columns an article called “The Extraordinary Cabman.” I am now in a position to contribute my experience of a still more extraordinary cab. The extraordinary thing about the cab was that it did not like me; it threw me out violently in the middle of the Strand. If my friends who read the DAILY NEWS are as romantic (and as rich) as I take them to be, I presume that this experience is not uncommon. I suppose that they are all being thrown out of cabs, all over London. Still, as there are some people, virginal and remote from the world, who have not yet had this luxurious experience, I will give a short account of the psychology of myself when my hansom cab ran into the side of a motor omnibus, and I hope hurt it.

I do not need to dwell on the essential romance of the hansom cab— that one really noble modern thing which our age, when it is judged, will gravely put beside the Parthenon. It is really modern in that it is both secret and swift. My particular hansom cab was modern in these two respects; it was also very modern in the fact that it came to grief. But it is also English; it is not to be found abroad; it belongs to a beautiful, romantic country where nearly everybody is pretending to be richer than they are, and acting as if they were. It is comfortable, and yet it is reckless; and that combination is the very soul of England. But although I had always realised all these good qualities in a hansom cab, I had not experienced all the possibilities, or, as the moderns put it, all the aspects of that vehicle. My enunciation of the merits of a hansom cab had been always made when it was the right way up. Let me, therefore, explain how I felt when I fell out of a hansom cab for the first and, I am happy to believe, the last time. Polycrates threw one ring into the sea to propitiate the Fates. I have thrown one hansom cab into the sea (if you will excuse a rather violent metaphor) and the Fates are, I am quite sure, propitiated. Though I am told they do not like to be told so.

I was driving yesterday afternoon in a hansom cab down one of the sloping streets into the Strand, reading one of my own admirable articles with continual pleasure, and still more continual surprise, when the horse fell forward, scrambled a moment on the scraping stones, staggered to his feet again, and went forward. The horses in my cabs often do this, and I have learnt to enjoy my own articles at any angle of the vehicle. So I did not see anything at all odd about the way the horse went on again. But I saw it suddenly in the faces of all the people on the pavement. They were all turned towards me, and they were all struck with fear suddenly, as with a white flame out of the sky. And one man half ran out into the road with a movement of the elbow as if warding off a blow, and tried to stop the horse. Then I knew that the reins were lost, and the next moment the horse was like a living thunder-bolt. I try to describe things exactly as they seemed to me; many details I may have missed or mis-stated; many details may have, so to speak, gone mad in the race down the road. I remember that I once called one of my experiences narrated in this paper “A Fragment of Fact.” This is, at any rate, a fragment of fact. No fact could possibly be more fragmentary than the sort of fact that I expected to be at the bottom of that street.

… . .

I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion. Thus I have always urged in this paper that democracy has a deeper meaning than democrats understand; that is, that common and popular things, proverbs, and ordinary sayings always have something in them unrealised by most who repeat them. Here is one. We have all heard about the man who is in momentary danger, and who sees the whole of his life pass before him in a moment. In the cold, literal, and common sense of words, this is obviously a thundering lie. Nobody can pretend that in an accident or a mortal crisis he elaborately remembered all the tickets he had ever taken to Wimbledon, or all the times that he had ever passed the brown bread and butter.

But in those few moments, while my cab was tearing towards the traffic of the Strand, I discovered that there is a truth behind this phrase, as there is behind all popular phrases. I did really have, in that short and shrieking period, a rapid succession of a number of fundamental points of view. I had, so to speak, about five religions in almost as many seconds. My first religion was pure Paganism, which among sincere men is more shortly described as extreme fear. Then there succeeded a state of mind which is quite real, but for which no proper name has ever been found. The ancients called it Stoicism, and I think it must be what some German lunatics mean (if they mean anything) when they talk about Pessimism. It was an empty and open acceptance of the thing that happens— as if one had got beyond the value of it. And then, curiously enough, came a very strong contrary feeling—that things mattered very much indeed, and yet that they were something more than tragic. It was a feeling, not that life was unimportant, but that life was much too important ever to be anything but life. I hope that this was Christianity. At any rate, it occurred at the moment when we went crash into the omnibus.

It seemed to me that the hansom cab simply turned over on top of me, like an enormous hood or hat. I then found myself crawling out from underneath it in attitudes so undignified that they must have added enormously to that great cause to which the Anti-Puritan League and I have recently dedicated ourselves. I mean the cause of the pleasures of the people. As to my demeanour when I emerged, I have two confessions to make, and they are both made merely in the interests of mental science. The first is that whereas I had been in a quite pious frame of mind the moment before the collision, when I got to my feet and found I had got off with a cut or two I began (like St. Peter) to curse and to swear. A man offered me a newspaper or something that I had dropped. I can distinctly remember consigning the paper to a state of irremediable spiritual ruin. I am very sorry for this now, and I apologise both to the man and to the paper. I have not the least idea what was the meaning of this unnatural anger; I mention it as a psychological confession. It was immediately followed by extreme hilarity, and I made so many silly jokes to the policeman that he disgraced himself by continual laughter before all the little boys in the street, who had hitherto taken him seriously.

… . .

There is one other odd thing about the matter which I also mention as a curiosity of the human brain or deficiency of brain. At intervals of about every three minutes I kept on reminding the policeman that I had not paid the cabman, and that I hoped he would not lose his money. He said it would be all right, and the man would appear. But it was not until about half an hour afterwards that it suddenly struck me with a shock intolerable that the man might conceivably have lost more than half a crown; that he had been in danger as well as I. I had instinctively regarded the cabman as something uplifted above accidents, a god. I immediately made inquiries, and I am happy to say that they seemed to have been unnecessary.

But henceforward I shall always understand with a darker and more delicate charity those who take tythe of mint, and anise, and cumin, and neglect the weightier matters of the law; I shall remember how I was once really tortured with owing half a crown to a man who might have been dead. Some admirable men in white coats at the Charing Cross Hospital tied up my small injury, and I went out again into the Strand. I felt upon me even a kind of unnatural youth; I hungered for something untried. So to open a new chapter in my life I got into a hansom cab.

VI

Un incidente

Qualche tempo fa scrissi in queste colonne un articolo intitolato «Lo straordinario vetturino». Sono ora in grado di offrire la mia esperienza di una vettura ancora più straordinaria. La cosa straordinaria di quella vettura era che io non le piacevo; mi scaraventò fuori violentemente in mezzo allo Strand. Se i miei amici che leggono il DAILY NEWS sono romantici (e ricchi) quanto li ritengo, presumo che questa esperienza non sia rara. Suppongo che vengano tutti scaraventati fuori dalle vetture, per tutta Londra. Tuttavia, poiché vi sono alcune persone, verginali e remote dal mondo, che non hanno ancora avuto questa lussuosa esperienza, darò un breve resoconto della psicologia di me stesso quando il mio hansom si scontrò con la fiancata di un omnibus a motore, e, spero, lo ferii.

Non ho bisogno di soffermarmi sull’essenziale poesia dell’hansom: quell’unica cosa moderna davvero nobile che la nostra epoca, quando sarà giudicata, porrà gravemente accanto al Partenone. È davvero moderno in quanto è insieme segreto e veloce. Il mio particolare hansom era moderno sotto questi due aspetti; era anche molto moderno nel fatto che andò a finir male. Ma è anche inglese; non lo si trova all’estero; appartiene a un bel paese romantico dove quasi tutti fingono di essere più ricchi di quanto siano, e agiscono come se lo fossero. È comodo, eppure è temerario; e quella combinazione è l’anima stessa dell’Inghilterra. Ma benché avessi sempre colto tutte queste buone qualità in un hansom, non ne avevo sperimentato tutte le possibilità, o, come dicono i moderni, tutti gli aspetti di quel veicolo. La mia enunciazione dei meriti di un hansom era sempre stata fatta quando esso stava nel verso giusto. Lasciatemi dunque spiegare come mi sentii quando caddi da un hansom per la prima e, sono felice di credere, l’ultima volta. Policrate gettò un anello nel mare per propiziarsi le Parche. Io ho gettato un hansom nel mare (se mi passate una metafora piuttosto violenta) e le Parche sono, ne sono certo, propiziate. Anche se mi dicono che non amano sentirselo dire.

Ieri pomeriggio viaggiavo in un hansom giù per una delle vie in pendenza verso lo Strand, leggendo uno dei miei ammirevoli articoli con continuo piacere, e con sorpresa ancor più continua, quando il cavallo cadde in avanti, arrancò un attimo sulle pietre che raschiavano, si rialzò barcollando sulle zampe, e proseguì. I cavalli delle mie vetture fanno spesso questo, e ho imparato a gustare i miei articoli a qualsiasi angolazione del veicolo. Così non vidi nulla di strano nel modo in cui il cavallo riprese ad andare. Ma lo vidi improvvisamente nei volti di tutte le persone sul marciapiede. Erano tutte rivolte verso di me, ed erano tutte colpite da paura all’improvviso, come da una bianca fiamma dal cielo. E un uomo corse a metà sulla strada con un movimento del gomito come per parare un colpo, e cercò di fermare il cavallo. Allora capii che le redini erano perdute, e l’attimo dopo il cavallo era come una vivente folgore. Cerco di descrivere le cose esattamente come mi apparvero; molti dettagli posso averli mancati o mal riferiti; molti dettagli possono, per così dire, essere impazziti nella corsa giù per la strada. Ricordo che una volta definii una delle mie esperienze narrate in questo giornale «Un Frammento di fatto». Questo è, in ogni caso, un frammento di fatto. Nessun fatto potrebbe essere più frammentario del genere di fatto che mi aspettavo di essere in fondo a quella via.

… . .

Credo nel predicare ai convertiti; perché ho generalmente scoperto che i convertiti non comprendono la propria religione. Così ho sempre sostenuto in questo giornale che la democrazia ha un significato più profondo di quanto i democratici comprendano; ossia, che le cose comuni e popolari, i proverbi, e i detti ordinari hanno sempre in sé qualcosa di non compreso dalla maggior parte di coloro che li ripetono. Eccone uno. Abbiamo tutti sentito parlare dell’uomo che è in pericolo momentaneo, e che vede l’intera sua vita passargli davanti in un attimo. Nel senso freddo, letterale e comune delle parole, questa è ovviamente una fragorosa menzogna. Nessuno può pretendere che in un incidente o in una crisi mortale abbia ricordato minuziosamente tutti i biglietti che avesse mai preso per Wimbledon, o tutte le volte che avesse mai passato il pane nero e il burro.

Ma in quei pochi istanti, mentre la mia vettura sfrecciava verso il traffico dello Strand, scoprii che c’è una verità dietro questa frase, come c’è dietro tutte le frasi popolari. Ebbi davvero, in quel breve e stridulo periodo, una rapida successione di un certo numero di punti di vista fondamentali. Ebbi, per così dire, circa cinque religioni in quasi altrettanti secondi. La mia prima religione fu il puro Paganesimo, che fra gli uomini sinceri è descritto più brevemente come estrema paura. Poi succedette uno stato mentale del tutto reale, ma per il quale non è mai stato trovato un nome proprio. Gli antichi lo chiamavano Stoicismo, e credo che debba essere ciò che certi pazzi tedeschi intendono (se intendono qualcosa) quando parlano di Pessimismo. Era un’accettazione vuota e aperta della cosa che accade… come se si fosse andati oltre il suo valore. E poi, curiosamente, venne un sentimento contrario molto forte… che le cose contavano moltissimo, eppure che erano qualcosa di più che tragiche. Era un sentimento, non che la vita fosse priva d’importanza, ma che la vita fosse troppo importante per poter mai essere qualcosa di diverso dalla vita. Spero che questo fosse il cristianesimo. In ogni caso, avvenne nel momento in cui andammo a schiantarci contro l’omnibus.

Mi parve che l’hansom si rovesciasse semplicemente sopra di me, come un enorme cappuccio o cappello. Mi ritrovai poi a strisciar fuori da sotto di esso in atteggiamenti così indegni che devono aver aggiunto enormemente a quella grande causa alla quale la Lega Anti-Puritana e io ci siamo recentemente consacrati. Intendo la causa dei piaceri del popolo. Quanto al mio contegno quando emersi, ho due confessioni da fare, ed entrambe le faccio meramente nell’interesse della scienza mentale. La prima è che, mentre ero stato in uno stato d’animo del tutto pio il momento prima della collisione, quando mi rimisi in piedi e scoprii di essermela cavata con un taglio o due cominciai (come san Pietro) a bestemmiare e imprecare. Un uomo mi porse un giornale o qualcosa che avevo lasciato cadere. Ricordo distintamente di aver consegnato quel giornale a uno stato di irrimediabile rovina spirituale. Ora me ne dispiace molto, e chiedo scusa sia all’uomo sia al giornale. Non ho la minima idea di quale fosse il significato di questa innaturale ira; la menziono come confessione psicologica. Fu immediatamente seguita da estrema ilarità, e feci così tante sciocche battute al poliziotto che egli si disonorò con continue risate davanti a tutti i ragazzini della via, che fino ad allora lo avevano preso sul serio.

… . .

C’è un’altra cosa strana in questa faccenda che pure menziono come curiosità del cervello umano o deficienza di cervello. A intervalli di circa ogni tre minuti continuavo a ricordare al poliziotto che non avevo pagato il vetturino, e che speravo non perdesse il suo denaro. Egli disse che sarebbe andato tutto bene, e che l’uomo sarebbe comparso. Ma fu solo circa mezz’ora dopo che d’improvviso mi colpì con uno shock intollerabile il pensiero che l’uomo potesse concepibilmente aver perduto più di mezza corona; che egli fosse stato in pericolo tanto quanto me. Avevo istintivamente considerato il vetturino come qualcosa di innalzato al di sopra degli incidenti, un dio. Feci immediatamente delle indagini, e sono felice di dire che parvero essere state superflue.

Ma d’ora in poi comprenderò sempre con una più oscura e più delicata carità coloro che pagano la decima della menta, dell’aneto e del cumino, e trascurano le cose più gravi della legge; ricorderò come una volta fui davvero torturato dal dovere mezza corona a un uomo che avrebbe potuto essere morto. Alcuni ammirevoli uomini in camice bianco all’ospedale di Charing Cross fasciarono la mia piccola ferita, e uscii di nuovo nello Strand. Sentivo su di me perfino una sorta di innaturale giovinezza; avevo fame di qualcosa di non sperimentato. Così, per aprire un nuovo capitolo nella mia vita, salii su un hansom.

VII

The Advantages of Having One Leg

A friend of mine who was visiting a poor woman in bereavement and casting about for some phrase of consolation that should not be either insolent or weak, said at last, “I think one can live through these great sorrows and even be the better. What wears one is the little worries.” “That’s quite right, mum,” answered the old woman with emphasis, “and I ought to know, seeing I’ve had ten of ‘em.” It is, perhaps, in this sense that it is most true that little worries are most wearing. In its vaguer significance the phrase, though it contains a truth, contains also some possibilities of self-deception and error. People who have both small troubles and big ones have the right to say that they find the small ones the most bitter; and it is undoubtedly true that the back which is bowed under loads incredible can feel a faint addition to those loads; a giant holding up the earth and all its animal creation might still find the grasshopper a burden. But I am afraid that the maxim that the smallest worries are the worst is sometimes used or abused by people, because they have nothing but the very smallest worries. The lady may excuse herself for reviling the crumpled rose leaf by reflecting with what extraordinary dignity she would wear the crown of thorns—if she had to. The gentleman may permit himself to curse the dinner and tell himself that he would behave much better if it were a mere matter of starvation. We need not deny that the grasshopper on man’s shoulder is a burden; but we need not pay much respect to the gentleman who is always calling out that he would rather have an elephant when he knows there are no elephants in the country. We may concede that a straw may break the camel’s back, but we like to know that it really is the last straw and not the first.

I grant that those who have serious wrongs have a real right to grumble, so long as they grumble about something else. It is a singular fact that if they are sane they almost always do grumble about something else. To talk quite reasonably about your own quite real wrongs is the quickest way to go off your head. But people with great troubles talk about little ones, and the man who complains of the crumpled rose leaf very often has his flesh full of the thorns. But if a man has commonly a very clear and happy daily life then I think we are justified in asking that he shall not make mountains out of molehills. I do no deny that molehills can sometimes be important. Small annoyances have this evil about them, that they can be more abrupt because they are more invisible; they cast no shadow before, they have no atmosphere. No one ever had a mystical premonition that he was going to tumble over a hassock. William III. died by falling over a molehill; I do not suppose that with all his varied abilities he could have managed to fall over a mountain. But when all this is allowed for, I repeat that we may ask a happy man (not William III.) to put up with pure inconveniences, and even make them part of his happiness. Of positive pain or positive poverty I do not here speak. I speak of those innumerable accidental limitations that are always falling across our path—bad weather, confinement to this or that house or room, failure of appointments or arrangements, waiting at railway stations, missing posts, finding unpunctuality when we want punctuality, or, what is worse, finding punctuality when we don’t. It is of the poetic pleasures to be drawn from all these that I sing—I sing with confidence because I have recently been experimenting in the poetic pleasures which arise from having to sit in one chair with a sprained foot, with the only alternative course of standing on one leg like a stork— a stork is a poetic simile; therefore I eagerly adopted it.

To appreciate anything we must always isolate it, even if the thing itself symbolise something other than isolation. If we wish to see what a house is it must be a house in some uninhabited landscape. If we wish to depict what a man really is we must depict a man alone in a desert or on a dark sea sand. So long as he is a single figure he means all that humanity means; so long as he is solitary he means human society; so long as he is solitary he means sociability and comradeship. Add another figure and the picture is less human—not more so. One is company, two is none. If you wish to symbolise human building draw one dark tower on the horizon; if you wish to symbolise light let there be no star in the sky. Indeed, all through that strangely lit season which we call our day there is but one star in the sky—a large, fierce star which we call the sun. One sun is splendid; six suns would be only vulgar. One Tower Of Giotto is sublime; a row of Towers of Giotto would be only like a row of white posts. The poetry of art is in beholding the single tower; the poetry of nature in seeing the single tree; the poetry of love in following the single woman; the poetry of religion in worshipping the single star. And so, in the same pensive lucidity, I find the poetry of all human anatomy in standing on a single leg. To express complete and perfect leggishness the leg must stand in sublime isolation, like the tower in the wilderness. As Ibsen so finely says, the strongest leg is that which stands most alone.

This lonely leg on which I rest has all the simplicity of some Doric column. The students of architecture tell us that the only legitimate use of a column is to support weight. This column of mine fulfils its legitimate function. It supports weight. Being of an animal and organic consistency, it may even improve by the process, and during these few days that I am thus unequally balanced, the helplessness or dislocation of the one leg may find compensation in the astonishing strength and classic beauty of the other leg. Mrs. Mountstuart Jenkinson in Mr. George Meredith’s novel might pass by at any moment, and seeing me in the stork-like attitude would exclaim, with equal admiration and a more literal exactitude, “He has a leg.” Notice how this famous literary phrase supports my contention touching this isolation of any admirable thing. Mrs. Mountstuart Jenkinson, wishing to make a clear and perfect picture of human grace, said that Sir Willoughby Patterne had a leg. She delicately glossed over and concealed the clumsy and offensive fact that he had really two legs. Two legs were superfluous and irrelevant, a reflection, and a confusion. Two legs would have confused Mrs. Mountstuart Jenkinson like two Monuments in London. That having had one good leg he should have another— this would be to use vain repetitions as the Gentiles do. She would have been as much bewildered by him as if he had been a centipede.

All pessimism has a secret optimism for its object. All surrender of life, all denial of pleasure, all darkness, all austerity, all desolation has for its real aim this separation of something so that it may be poignantly and perfectly enjoyed. I feel grateful for the slight sprain which has introduced this mysterious and fascinating division between one of my feet and the other. The way to love anything is to realise that it might be lost. In one of my feet I can feel how strong and splendid a foot is; in the other I can realise how very much otherwise it might have been. The moral of the thing is wholly exhilarating. This world and all our powers in it are far more awful and beautiful than even we know until some accident reminds us. If you wish to perceive that limitless felicity, limit yourself if only for a moment. If you wish to realise how fearfully and wonderfully God’s image is made, stand on one leg. If you want to realise the splendid vision of all visible things— wink the other eye.

VII

I vantaggi di avere una gamba sola

Un mio amico che rendeva visita a una povera donna in lutto e andava cercando qualche frase di conforto che non risultasse né insolente né fiacca, disse infine: «Credo che si possa sopravvivere a questi grandi dolori e persino uscirne migliori. Ciò che logora è la piccola preoccupazione.» «È proprio così, signora,» rispose la vecchia con enfasi, «e ben lo so io, che ne ho avute dieci.» È forse in questo senso che è più vero che le piccole preoccupazioni sono le più logoranti. Nel suo significato più vago la frase, benché contenga una verità, contiene anche qualche possibilità di autoinganno ed errore. Chi ha insieme piccoli guai e grandi ha il diritto di dire che trova i piccoli i più amari; ed è indubbiamente vero che la schiena curva sotto carichi incredibili può avvertire una lieve aggiunta a quei carichi; un gigante che regge la terra e tutta la sua creazione animale potrebbe pur trovare un peso nella cavalletta. Ma temo che la massima secondo cui le preoccupazioni più piccole sono le peggiori sia talvolta usata o abusata dalla gente, perché costoro non hanno altro che le preoccupazioni più minute. La dama può scusarsi del suo inveire contro la spiegazzata foglia di rosa riflettendo con quanta straordinaria dignità porterebbe la corona di spine—se dovesse. Il gentiluomo può permettersi di maledire il pranzo e dire a se stesso che si comporterebbe assai meglio se si trattasse di pura fame. Non occorre negare che la cavalletta sulla spalla dell’uomo sia un peso; ma non occorre nutrire molto rispetto per il gentiluomo che va sempre gridando che preferirebbe avere un elefante, quando sa che non ci sono elefanti nel paese. Possiamo concedere che una pagliuzza possa spezzare la schiena del cammello, ma ci piace sapere che è davvero l’ultima pagliuzza e non la prima.

Concedo che chi ha subìto gravi torti ha un reale diritto di lagnarsi, purché si lagni di qualcos’altro. È un fatto singolare che, se sono sani di mente, quasi sempre si lagnano di qualcos’altro. Parlare in modo del tutto ragionevole dei propri torti del tutto reali è il modo più rapido per uscire di senno. Ma le persone con grandi guai parlano dei piccoli, e l’uomo che si duole della spiegazzata foglia di rosa ha assai spesso la carne piena di spine. Ma se un uomo ha comunemente una vita quotidiana assai limpida e felice, allora credo che siamo giustificati nel chiedergli che non faccia montagne di monticelli di talpa. Non nego che i monticelli di talpa possano talvolta essere importanti. I piccoli fastidi hanno questo di malvagio, che possono essere più repentini perché più invisibili; non gettano alcuna ombra dinanzi a sé, non hanno atmosfera. Nessuno ebbe mai una premonizione mistica che stava per inciampare in uno sgabello. Guglielmo III morì cadendo su un monticello di talpa; non suppongo che, con tutte le sue svariate capacità, sarebbe riuscito a cadere da una montagna. Ma, fatta la tara di tutto questo, ripeto che possiamo chiedere a un uomo felice (non a Guglielmo III) di sopportare i puri disagi, e persino di farne parte della sua felicità. Di dolore positivo o di povertà positiva qui non parlo. Parlo di quelle innumerevoli limitazioni accidentali che di continuo si attraversano sul nostro cammino—il maltempo, la reclusione in questa o quella casa o stanza, il fallire di appuntamenti o accordi, l’attesa alle stazioni ferroviarie, la posta perduta, il trovare mancanza di puntualità quando vogliamo puntualità, o, ciò che è peggio, il trovare puntualità quando non la vogliamo. È dei piaceri poetici che se ne possono trarre che io canto—canto con fiducia perché ho di recente sperimentato i piaceri poetici che nascono dal dover sedere su una sola sedia con un piede slogato, con l’unica alternativa di stare ritto su una gamba come una cicogna—la cicogna è una similitudine poetica; perciò l’ho adottata con entusiasmo.

Per apprezzare qualsiasi cosa dobbiamo sempre isolarla, anche se la cosa stessa simboleggia qualcosa di diverso dall’isolamento. Se desideriamo vedere che cosa sia una casa, dev’essere una casa in qualche paesaggio disabitato. Se desideriamo raffigurare ciò che un uomo realmente è, dobbiamo raffigurare un uomo solo in un deserto o su una scura sabbia marina. Finché è una figura sola, egli significa tutto ciò che significa l’umanità; finché è solitario, significa la società umana; finché è solitario, significa socievolezza e cameratismo. Aggiungete un’altra figura e il quadro è meno umano—non più. Uno è compagnia, due è nessuno. Se volete simboleggiare l’edificare umano, disegnate una sola scura torre all’orizzonte; se volete simboleggiare la luce, non vi sia stella nel cielo. Anzi, per tutta quella stagione stranamente illuminata che chiamiamo il nostro giorno non v’è che una sola stella nel cielo—una grande, fiera stella che chiamiamo il sole. Un solo sole è splendido; sei soli sarebbero soltanto volgari. Una sola Torre di Giotto è sublime; una fila di Torri di Giotto sarebbe soltanto come una fila di bianchi paletti. La poesia dell’arte sta nel contemplare la torre singola; la poesia della natura nel vedere l’albero singolo; la poesia dell’amore nel seguire la donna singola; la poesia della religione nell’adorare la stella singola. E così, nella stessa pensosa lucidità, trovo la poesia di tutta l’anatomia umana nello stare ritto su una sola gamba. Per esprimere una compiuta e perfetta gambosità, la gamba deve stare in sublime isolamento, come la torre nel deserto. Come dice tanto finemente Ibsen, la gamba più forte è quella che sta più sola.

Questa gamba solitaria su cui mi poso ha tutta la semplicità di qualche colonna dorica. Gli studiosi di architettura ci dicono che l’unico uso legittimo di una colonna è sostenere un peso. Questa mia colonna adempie la sua legittima funzione. Sostiene un peso. Essendo di consistenza animale e organica, può persino migliorare nel processo, e durante questi pochi giorni in cui sono così disegualmente bilanciato, l’impotenza o la dislocazione dell’una gamba può trovar compenso nella stupefacente forza e classica bellezza dell’altra. La signora Mountstuart Jenkinson, nel romanzo del signor George Meredith, potrebbe passare da un momento all’altro e, vedendomi nell’atteggiamento da cicogna, esclamerebbe, con pari ammirazione e più letterale esattezza: «Egli ha una gamba.» Notate come questa celebre frase letteraria sostenga la mia tesi intorno all’isolamento di ogni cosa ammirevole. La signora Mountstuart Jenkinson, volendo comporre un quadro netto e perfetto della grazia umana, disse che Sir Willoughby Patterne aveva una gamba. Ella glissò delicatamente e celò il fatto goffo e offensivo che egli in realtà ne aveva due. Due gambe erano superflue e irrilevanti, un riflesso e una confusione. Due gambe avrebbero confuso la signora Mountstuart Jenkinson come due Monumenti a Londra. Che, avendo avuto una gamba buona, ne dovesse avere un’altra—questo sarebbe stato usare vane ripetizioni come fanno i Gentili. Ella ne sarebbe rimasta sconcertata come se egli fosse stato un centopiedi.

Ogni pessimismo ha per suo oggetto un segreto ottimismo. Ogni rinuncia alla vita, ogni negazione del piacere, ogni tenebra, ogni austerità, ogni desolazione ha per suo vero fine questa separazione di qualcosa affinché possa essere goduto in modo acuto e perfetto. Provo gratitudine per la lieve slogatura che ha introdotto questa misteriosa e affascinante divisione fra uno dei miei piedi e l’altro. Il modo per amare qualcosa è rendersi conto che la si potrebbe perdere. In uno dei miei piedi posso sentire quanto sia forte e splendido un piede; nell’altro posso rendermi conto di quanto assai diversamente sarebbe potuto essere. La morale della cosa è del tutto esilarante. Questo mondo e tutti i nostri poteri in esso sono assai più tremendi e belli di quanto persino noi sappiamo, finché qualche incidente non ce lo rammenta. Se desiderate percepire quella felicità sconfinata, limitatevi anche solo per un istante. Se desiderate rendervi conto di quanto tremendamente e mirabilmente sia fatta l’immagine di Dio, state ritti su una gamba sola. Se volete rendervi conto della splendida visione di tutte le cose visibili—strizzate l’altro occhio.

VIII

The End of the World

For some time I had been wandering in quiet streets in the curious town of Besançon, which stands like a sort of peninsula in a horse-shoe of river. You may learn from the guide books that it was the birthplace of Victor Hugo, and that it is a military station with many forts, near the French frontier. But you will not learn from guide books that the very tiles on the roofs seem to be of some quainter and more delicate colour than the tiles of all the other towns of the world; that the tiles look like the little clouds of some strange sunset, or like the lustrous scales of some strange fish. They will not tell you that in this town the eye cannot rest on anything without finding it in some way attractive and even elvish, a carved face at a street corner, a gleam of green fields through a stunted arch, or some unexpected colour for the enamel of a spire or dome.

… . .

Evening was coming on and in the light of it all these colours so simple and yet so subtle seemed more and more to fit together and make a fairy tale. I sat down for a little outside a café with a row of little toy trees in front of it, and presently the driver of a fly (as we should call it) came to the same place. He was one of those very large and dark Frenchmen, a type not common but yet typical of France; the Rabelaisian Frenchman, huge, swarthy, purple-faced, a walking wine-barrel; he was a sort of Southern Falstaff, if one can imagine Falstaff anything but English. And, indeed, there was a vital difference, typical of two nations. For while Falstaff would have been shaking with hilarity like a huge jelly, full of the broad farce of the London streets, this Frenchman was rather solemn and dignified than otherwise— as if pleasure were a kind of pagan religion. After some talk which was full of the admirable civility and equality of French civilisation, he suggested without either eagerness or embarrassment that he should take me in his fly for an hour’s ride in the hills beyond the town. And though it was growing late I consented; for there was one long white road under an archway and round a hill that dragged me like a long white cord. We drove through the strong, squat gateway that was made by Romans, and I remember the coincidence like a sort of omen that as we passed out of the city I heard simultaneously the three sounds which are the trinity of France. They make what some poet calls “a tangled trinity,” and I am not going to disentangle it. Whatever those three things mean, how or why they co-exist; whether they can be reconciled or perhaps are reconciled already; the three sounds I heard then by an accident all at once make up the French mystery. For the brass band in the Casino gardens behind me was playing with a sort of passionate levity some ramping tune from a Parisian comic opera, and while this was going on I heard also the bugles on the hills above, that told of terrible loyalties and men always arming in the gate of France; and I heard also, fainter than these sounds and through them all, the Angelus.

… . .

After this coincidence of symbols I had a curious sense of having left France behind me, or, perhaps, even the civilised world. And, indeed, there was something in the landscape wild enough to encourage such a fancy. I have seen perhaps higher mountains, but I have never seen higher rocks; I have never seen height so near, so abrupt and sensational, splinters of rock that stood up like the spires of churches, cliffs that fell sudden and straight as Satan fell from heaven. There was also a quality in the ride which was not only astonishing, but rather bewildering; a quality which many must have noticed if they have driven or ridden rapidly up mountain roads. I mean a sense of gigantic gyration, as of the whole earth turning about one’s head. It is quite inadequate to say that the hills rose and fell like enormous waves. Rather the hills seemed to turn about me like the enormous sails of a windmill, a vast wheel of monstrous archangelic wings. As we drove on and up into the gathering purple of the sunset this dizziness increased, confounding things above with things below. Wide walls of wooded rock stood out above my head like a roof. I stared at them until I fancied that I was staring down at a wooded plain. Below me steeps of green swept down to the river. I stared at them until I fancied that they swept up to the sky. The purple darkened, night drew nearer; it seemed only to cut clearer the chasms and draw higher the spires of that nightmare landscape. Above me in the twilight was the huge black hulk of the driver, and his broad, blank back was as mysterious as the back of Death in Watts’ picture. I felt that I was growing too fantastic, and I sought to speak of ordinary things. I called out to the driver in French, “Where are you taking me?” and it is a literal and solemn fact that he answered me in the same language without turning around, “To the end of the world.”

I did not answer. I let him drag the vehicle up dark, steep ways, until I saw lights under a low roof of little trees and two children, one oddly beautiful, playing at ball. Then we found ourselves filling up the strict main street of a tiny hamlet, and across the wall of its inn was written in large letters, LE BOUT DU MONDE—the end of the world.

The driver and I sat down outside that inn without a word, as if all ceremonies were natural and understood in that ultimate place. I ordered bread for both of us, and red wine, that was good but had no name. On the other side of the road was a little plain church with a cross on top of it and a cock on top of the cross. This seemed to me a very good end of the world; if the story of the world ended here it ended well. Then I wondered whether I myself should really be content to end here, where most certainly there were the best things of Christendom—a church and children’s games and decent soil and a tavern for men to talk with men. But as I thought a singular doubt and desire grew slowly in me, and at last I started up.

“Are you not satisfied?” asked my companion. “No,” I said, “I am not satisfied even at the end of the world.”

Then, after a silence, I said, “Because you see there are two ends of the world. And this is the wrong end of the world; at least the wrong one for me. This is the French end of the world. I want the other end of the world. Drive me to the other end of the world.”

“The other end of the world?” he asked. “Where is that?”

“It is in Walham Green,” I whispered hoarsely. “You see it on the London omnibuses. ‘World’s End and Walham Green.’ Oh, I know how good this is; I love your vineyards and your free peasantry, but I want the English end of the world. I love you like a brother, but I want an English cabman, who will be funny and ask me what his fare ‘is.’ Your bugles stir my blood, but I want to see a London policeman. Take, oh, take me to see a London policeman.”

He stood quite dark and still against the end of the sunset, and I could not tell whether he understood or not. I got back into his carriage.

“You will understand,” I said, “if ever you are an exile even for pleasure. The child to his mother, the man to his country, as a countryman of yours once said. But since, perhaps, it is rather too long a drive to the English end of the world, we may as well drive back to Besançon.”

Only as the stars came out among those immortal hills I wept for Walham Green.

VIII

La fine del mondo

Da qualche tempo andavo vagando per le vie tranquille della curiosa città di Besançon, che sorge come una sorta di penisola in un ferro di cavallo di fiume. Dalle guide potete apprendere che vi nacque Victor Hugo, e che è una piazzaforte militare dotata di molti forti, presso la frontiera francese. Ma dalle guide non apprenderete che le tegole stesse sui tetti paiono di una tinta più bizzarra e più delicata di quelle di tutte le altre città del mondo; che le tegole sembrano le piccole nuvole di qualche strano tramonto, o le squame lucenti di qualche strano pesce. Non vi diranno che in questa città l’occhio non può posarsi su alcuna cosa senza trovarla in qualche modo attraente e persino fatata, un volto scolpito all’angolo d’una strada, un baluginare di verdi campi attraverso un’arcata tozza, o qualche inatteso colore per lo smalto d’una guglia o d’una cupola.

… . .

Scendeva la sera e nella sua luce tutti questi colori così semplici eppure così sottili parevano sempre più accordarsi e comporre una fiaba. Mi sedetti un poco fuori d’un caffè con una fila di alberelli da giocattolo davanti, e di lì a poco il conducente d’una vettura di piazza (come diremmo noi) venne allo stesso luogo. Era uno di quei francesi grandissimi e scuri, un tipo non comune eppure tipico di Francia; il francese rabelaisiano, enorme, olivastro, dal volto paonazzo, una botte di vino ambulante; era una specie di Falstaff meridionale, se si può immaginare Falstaff come qualcosa di diverso da un inglese. E, in verità, c’era una differenza vitale, tipica di due nazioni. Poiché mentre Falstaff si sarebbe scosso dall’ilarità come una gigantesca gelatina, pieno della farsa grossolana delle strade di Londra, questo francese era piuttosto solenne e dignitoso che altro — come se il piacere fosse una sorta di religione pagana. Dopo un po’ di conversazione, tutta pervasa dell’ammirevole cortesia e uguaglianza della civiltà francese, mi propose senza né premura né imbarazzo di condurmi con la sua vettura per un’ora di scarrozzata sulle colline oltre la città. E benché si facesse tardi acconsentii; poiché c’era una lunga strada bianca sotto un’arcata e attorno a una collina che mi trascinava come un lungo cordone bianco. Passammo per la robusta e tozza porta costruita dai Romani, e ricordo la coincidenza come una sorta di presagio: mentre uscivamo dalla città udii simultaneamente i tre suoni che sono la trinità di Francia. Compongono ciò che un poeta chiama «una trinità aggrovigliata», e non intendo dipanarla io. Qualunque cosa significhino quelle tre cose, come o perché coesistano; se possano conciliarsi o forse siano già conciliate; i tre suoni che udii allora per caso tutti insieme compongono il mistero francese. Poiché la banda d’ottoni nei giardini del Casinò dietro di me suonava con una sorta di appassionata leggerezza qualche motivo sfrenato d’un’opera comica parigina, e mentre questo avveniva udii anche le trombe sulle colline sovrastanti, che narravano di terribili fedeltà e di uomini sempre in armi alla porta di Francia; e udii anche, più fievole di questi suoni e attraverso tutti essi, l’Angelus.

… . .

Dopo questa coincidenza di simboli ebbi il curioso senso d’aver lasciato la Francia alle mie spalle, o forse persino il mondo civile. E, in verità, c’era nel paesaggio qualcosa di abbastanza selvaggio da incoraggiare una simile fantasia. Ho visto forse montagne più alte, ma non ho mai visto rocce più alte; non ho mai visto altezza tanto vicina, tanto brusca e sensazionale, schegge di roccia che si ergevano come le guglie delle chiese, dirupi che precipitavano improvvisi e diritti come Satana cadde dal cielo. C’era pure una qualità nella scarrozzata che non era soltanto sbalorditiva, ma piuttosto sconcertante; una qualità che molti devono aver notato se hanno guidato o cavalcato rapidamente su per strade di montagna. Intendo un senso di gigantesca rotazione, come dell’intera terra che gira attorno al proprio capo. È del tutto inadeguato dire che le colline si levavano e s’abbassavano come onde enormi. Piuttosto le colline parevano volteggiarmi attorno come le enormi vele d’un mulino a vento, una vasta ruota di mostruose ali arcangeliche. Mentre procedevamo e salivamo nel viola addensante del tramonto questa vertigine cresceva, confondendo le cose in alto con quelle in basso. Ampie pareti di roccia boscosa si stagliavano sopra il mio capo come un tetto. Le fissavo finché mi figuravo di fissare in basso una pianura boscosa. Sotto di me pendii di verde precipitavano giù verso il fiume. Li fissavo finché mi figuravo che s’innalzassero fino al cielo. Il viola s’oscurava, la notte s’avvicinava; pareva soltanto scavare più netti gli abissi e innalzare più su le guglie di quel paesaggio da incubo. Sopra di me nel crepuscolo c’era l’enorme massa nera del conducente, e la sua schiena larga e vuota era misteriosa come la schiena della Morte nel quadro di Watts. Sentii che stavo diventando troppo fantastico, e cercai di parlare di cose ordinarie. Gridai al conducente in francese: «Dove mi state portando?» ed è fatto letterale e solenne che egli mi rispose nella stessa lingua senza voltarsi: «Alla fine del mondo».

Non risposi. Lo lasciai trascinare il veicolo su per vie oscure e ripide, finché vidi luci sotto un basso tetto di alberelli e due bambini, uno stranamente bello, che giocavano a palla. Poi ci ritrovammo a riempire la stretta via principale d’un minuscolo villaggio, e sul muro della sua locanda era scritto a grandi lettere, LE BOUT DU MONDE — la fine del mondo.

Il conducente e io ci sedemmo fuori da quella locanda senza una parola, come se tutte le cerimonie fossero naturali e sottintese in quel luogo estremo. Ordinai pane per entrambi, e vino rosso, che era buono ma non aveva nome. Dall’altra parte della strada c’era una piccola chiesa semplice con una croce in cima e un gallo in cima alla croce. Questa mi parve un’ottima fine del mondo; se la storia del mondo finiva qui, finiva bene. Poi mi chiesi se io stesso sarei stato davvero contento di finire qui, dove di certo c’erano le cose migliori della Cristianità — una chiesa e giochi di bambini e terra onesta e una taverna dove gli uomini parlano con gli uomini. Ma mentre pensavo un singolare dubbio e desiderio crebbe lentamente in me, e alla fine balzai in piedi.

«Non siete soddisfatto?» chiese il mio compagno. «No», dissi, «non sono soddisfatto nemmeno alla fine del mondo».

Poi, dopo un silenzio, dissi: «Perché, vedete, ci sono due fini del mondo. E questa è la fine sbagliata del mondo; almeno quella sbagliata per me. Questa è la fine francese del mondo. Io voglio l’altra fine del mondo. Portatemi all’altra fine del mondo».

«L’altra fine del mondo?» chiese. «E dov’è?»

«È a Walham Green», sussurrai con voce rauca. «La vedete sugli omnibus di Londra. “World’s End e Walham Green”. Oh, so quanto sia bella questa; amo le vostre vigne e la vostra libera contadinanza, ma voglio la fine inglese del mondo. Vi amo come un fratello, ma voglio un vetturino inglese, che sia buffo e mi chieda quanto “fa” la sua corsa. Le vostre trombe mi agitano il sangue, ma voglio vedere un poliziotto di Londra. Portatemi, oh, portatemi a vedere un poliziotto di Londra».

Egli stava del tutto scuro e immobile contro la fine del tramonto, e non riuscivo a dire se avesse capito o no. Risalii nella sua carrozza.

«Capirete», dissi, «se mai sarete un esule anche soltanto per piacere. Il fanciullo alla madre, l’uomo alla sua patria, come disse un tempo un vostro connazionale. Ma poiché, forse, è una scarrozzata un po’ troppo lunga fino alla fine inglese del mondo, tanto vale allora tornare in vettura a Besançon».

Solo mentre le stelle spuntavano tra quelle colline immortali piansi per Walham Green.

IX

In the Place de La Bastille

On the first of May I was sitting outside a café in the Place de la Bastille in Paris staring at the exultant column, crowned with a capering figure, which stands in the place where the people destroyed a prison and ended an age. The thing is a curious example of how symbolic is the great part of human history. As a matter of mere material fact, the Bastille when it was taken was not a horrible prison; it was hardly a prison at all. But it was a symbol, and the people always go by a sure instinct for symbols; for the Chinaman, for instance, at the last General Election, or for President Kruger’s hat in the election before; their poetic sense is perfect. The Chinaman with his pigtail is not an idle flippancy. He does typify with a compact precision exactly the thing the people resent in African policy, the alien and grotesque nature of the power of wealth, the fact that money has no roots, that it is not a natural and familiar power, but a sort of airy and evil magic calling monsters from the ends of the earth. The people hate the mine owner who can bring a Chinaman flying across the sea, exactly as the people hated the wizard who could fetch a flying dragon through the air. It was the same with Mr. Kruger’s hat. His hat (that admirable hat) was not merely a joke. It did symbolise, and symbolise extremely well, the exact thing which our people at that moment regarded with impatience and venom; the old-fashioned, dingy, Republican simplicity, the unbeautiful dignity of the bourgeois, and the heavier truisms of political morality. No; the people are sometimes wrong on the practical side of politics; they are never wrong on the artistic side.

… . .

So it was, certainly, with the Bastille. The destruction of the Bastille was not a reform; it was something more important than a reform. It was an iconoclasm; it was the breaking of a stone image. The people saw the building like a giant looking at them with a score of eyes, and they struck at it as at a carved fact. For of all the shapes in which that immense illusion called materialism can terrify the soul, perhaps the most oppressive are big buildings. Man feels like a fly, an accident, in the thing he has himself made. It requires a violent effort of the spirit to remember that man made this confounding thing and man could unmake it. Therefore the mere act of the ragged people in the street taking and destroying a huge public building has a spiritual, a ritual meaning far beyond its immediate political results. It is a religious service. If, for instance, the Socialists were numerous or courageous enough to capture and smash up the Bank of England, you might argue for ever about the inutility of the act, and how it really did not touch the root of the economic problem in the correct manner. But mankind would never forget it. It would change the world.

Architecture is a very good test of the true strength of a society, for the most valuable things in a human state are the irrevocable things—marriage, for instance. And architecture approaches nearer than any other art to being irrevocable, because it is so difficult to get rid of. You can turn a picture with its face to the wall; it would be a nuisance to turn that Roman cathedral with its face to the wall. You can tear a poem to pieces; it is only in moments of very sincere emotion that you tear a town-hall to pieces. A building is akin to dogma; it is insolent, like a dogma. Whether or no it is permanent, it claims permanence like a dogma. People ask why we have no typical architecture of the modern world, like impressionism in painting. Surely it is obviously because we have not enough dogmas; we cannot bear to see anything in the sky that is solid and enduring, anything in the sky that does not change like the clouds of the sky. But along with this decision which is involved in creating a building, there goes a quite similar decision in the more delightful task of smashing one. The two of necessity go together. In few places have so many fine public buildings been set up as here in Paris, and in few places have so many been destroyed. When people have finally got into the horrible habit of preserving buildings, they have got out of the habit of building them. And in London one mingles, as it were, one’s tears because so few are pulled down.

… . .

As I sat staring at the column of the Bastille, inscribed to Liberty and Glory, there came out of one corner of the square (which, like so many such squares, was at once crowded and quiet) a sudden and silent line of horsemen. Their dress was of a dull blue, plain and prosaic enough, but the sun set on fire the brass and steel of their helmets; and their helmets were carved like the helmets of the Romans. I had seen them by twos and threes often enough before. I had seen plenty of them in pictures toiling through the snows of Friedland or roaring round the squares at Waterloo. But now they came file after file, like an invasion, and something in their numbers, or in the evening light that lit up their faces and their crests, or something in the reverie into which they broke, made me inclined to spring to my feet and cry out, “The French soldiers!” There were the little men with the brown faces that had so often ridden through the capitals of Europe as coolly as they now rode through their own. And when I looked across the square I saw that the two other corners were choked with blue and red; held by little groups of infantry. The city was garrisoned as against a revolution.

Of course, I had heard all about the strike, chiefly from a baker. He said he was not going to “Chomer.” I said, “Qu’est-ce que c’est que le chome?” He said, “Ils ne veulent pas travailler.” I said, “Ni moi non plus,” and he thought I was a class-conscious collectivist proletarian. The whole thing was curious, and the true moral of it one not easy for us, as a nation, to grasp, because our own faults are so deeply and dangerously in the other direction. To me, as an Englishman (personally steeped in the English optimism and the English dislike of severity), the whole thing seemed a fuss about nothing. It looked like turning out one of the best armies in Europe against ordinary people walking about the street. The cavalry charged us once or twice, more or less harmlessly. But, of course, it is hard to say how far in such criticisms one is assuming the French populace to be (what it is not) as docile as the English. But the deeper truth of the matter tingled, so to speak, through the whole noisy night. This people has a natural faculty for feeling itself on the eve of something—of the Bartholomew or the Revolution or the Commune or the Day of Judgment. It is this sense of crisis that makes France eternally young. It is perpetually pulling down and building up, as it pulled down the prison and put up the column in the Place de La Bastille. France has always been at the point of dissolution. She has found the only method of immortality. She dies daily.

IX

Nella Piazza della Bastiglia

Il primo maggio ero seduto fuori da un caffè nella Place de la Bastille a Parigi fissando la colonna esultante, coronata con una figura caprioleggiante, che si erge nel luogo in cui il popolo distrusse una prigione e pose fine a un’epoca. La cosa è un curioso esempio di quanto sia simbolica la gran parte della storia umana. Per mero fatto materiale, la Bastiglia quando fu presa non era una terribile prigione; a malapena era una prigione. Ma era un simbolo, e il popolo agisce sempre con sicura istintività per i simboli; come nel caso del cinese alle ultime elezioni generali o del cappello del Presidente Kruger nelle precedenti. Il loro senso poetico è perfetto. Il cinese con la sua treccia non è una battuta frivola. Incarna con precisione compatta esattamente ciò che il popolo risente nella politica africana: l’grottesca natura aliena del potere della ricchezza, il fatto che i soldi non abbiano radici, che non siano un potere naturale e familiare ma una sorta di magia aerea e malvagia che evoca mostri dai confini della terra. Il popolo odia il proprietario delle miniere che può far volare un cinese dall’altra parte del mare esattamente come odiava lo stregone in grado di far apparire un drago volante nell’aria. Fu la stessa cosa con il cappello di Kruger. Il suo cappello (quell’amabile cappello) non era solo uno scherzo. Simboleggiava, e simboleggiava estremamente bene, esattamente ciò che in quel momento la nostra gente guardava con impazienza e veleno: la semplicità repubblicana vecchio stile e squallida, l’inelegante dignità del borghese e i pesanti luoghi comuni della moralità politica. No; il popolo a volte sbaglia sul versante pratico della politica; non sbaglia mai su quello artistico.

… . .

Così fu certamente con la Bastiglia. La distruzione della Bastiglia non fu una riforma; fu qualcosa di più importante di una riforma. Fu un’iconoclastia; fu l’abbattimento di un’immagine scolpita nella pietra. Il popolo vedeva quell’edificio come un gigante che li fissava con venti occhi, e lo attaccò come se fosse una statua scolpita. Perché tra tutte le forme in cui quella immensa illusione chiamata materialismo può terrorizzare l’anima, forse le più opprimenti sono i grandi edifici. L’uomo si sente come un moscerino, un incidente, nella cosa che ha lui stesso creato. Occorre uno sforzo violento dello spirito per ricordare che l’uomo ha fatto questa cosa confondente e che l’uomo potrebbe disfarla. Per questo il semplice atto del popolo stracciato in strada di prendere e distruggere un enorme edificio pubblico ha un significato spirituale, rituale, ben al di là dei suoi immediati risultati politici. È un servizio religioso. Se per esempio i socialisti fossero abbastanza numerosi o coraggiosi da catturare e distruggere la Banca d’Inghilterra, si potrebbe discutere all’infinito sull’inutilità dell’atto e su come in realtà non tocca la radice del problema economico nel modo corretto. Ma l’umanità non lo dimenticherebbe mai. Cambierebbe il mondo.

L’architettura è un ottimo test della vera forza di una società, perché le cose più preziose in uno stato umano sono quelle irrevocabili: il matrimonio, per esempio. E l’architettura si avvicina più di qualsiasi altra arte all’essere irrevocabile, perché è così difficile sbarazzarsene. Puoi girare un quadro con la faccia contro il muro; sarebbe un fastidio girare quella cattedrale romana con la faccia contro il muro. Puoi strappare una poesia a pezzi; è solo in momenti di emozione molto sincera che si distrugge un municipio. Un edificio è affine al dogma; è insolente, come un dogma. Che sia o no permanente, rivendica la permanenza come un dogma. La gente chiede perché non abbiamo un’architettura tipica del mondo moderno, come l’impressionismo nella pittura. Non è ovvio che è perché non abbiamo abbastanza dogmi; non riusciamo a sopportare di vedere qualcosa nel cielo che sia solido e duraturo, qualcosa nel cielo che non cambi come le nuvole del cielo. Ma insieme a questa decisione che implica la creazione di un edificio, ce n’è una del tutto simile nell’incarico più piacevole di distruggerlo. Le due cose vanno necessariamente insieme. In pochi luoghi sono stati eretti tanti bei palazzi pubblici come qui a Parigi, e in pochi luoghi ne sono stati distrutti tanti. Quando la gente ha finalmente preso l’orribile abitudine di conservare gli edifici, ha perso l’abitudine di costruirli. E a Londra ci si mescola, per così dire, le lacrime perché se ne demoliscono così pochi.

… . .

Mentre sedevo fissando la colonna della Bastiglia, dedicata alla Libertà e alla Gloria, da un angolo della piazza (che come tante altre del genere era al tempo stesso affollata e tranquilla) uscì una fila improvvisa e silenziosa di cavalieri. I loro abiti erano di un blu spento, semplici e prosaici, ma il sole accese a fuoco l’ottone e l’acciaio dei loro elmi; e i loro elmi erano intagliati come quelli dei Romani. Li avevo visti in coppia o in gruppi di tre abbastanza spesso prima d’allora. Ne avevo visto molti in immagini che faticavano tra le nevi di Friedland o ruggivano attorno alle piazze a Waterloo. Ma ora venivano fila dopo fila, come un’invasione, e qualcosa nel loro numero, o nella luce serale che illuminava i loro volti e i loro elmi, o qualcosa nella reverie in cui si erano immersi, mi spinse ad alzarmi in piedi e gridare: “I soldati francesi!” Eccoli lì, gli uomini piccoli con i volti bruni che avevano così spesso cavalcato attraverso le capitali d’Europa con la stessa disinvoltura con cui ora cavalcavano nella loro. E quando guardai oltre la piazza vidi che gli altri due angoli erano intasati di blu e rosso; occupati da piccoli gruppi di fanteria. La città era guarnita come contro una rivoluzione.

Naturalmente avevo sentito parlare dello sciopero, soprattutto da un fornaio. Disse che non avrebbe “Chomer”. Gli chiesi: “Qu’est-ce que c’est que le chome?” Rispose: “Ils ne veulent pas travailler.” Dissi: “Ni moi non plus,” e lui pensò che fossi un proletario collettivista con coscienza di classe. Tutto ciò era curioso, e la vera morale della storia non è facile da cogliere per noi come nazione, perché i nostri stessi difetti sono così profondamente e pericolosamente nella direzione opposta. Per me, come inglese (personalmente immerso nell’ottimismo inglese e nel disprezzo inglese per la severità), tutta la faccenda sembrava un gran trambusto per nulla. Sembrava di schierare uno dei migliori eserciti d’Europa contro gente comune che cammina per strada. La cavalleria ci ha caricato una o due volte, più o meno inoffensivamente. Ma, naturalmente, è difficile dire fino a che punto in tali critiche si assume che il popolo francese sia (quando non lo è) altrettanto docile quanto quello inglese. Ma la verità più profonda della questione vibrava, per così dire, attraverso tutta quella rumorosa notte. Questa gente ha una naturale capacità di sentirsi alla vigilia di qualcosa: del Massacro di San Bartolomeo o della Rivoluzione o della Comune o del Giorno del Giudizio. È questo senso di crisi che rende la Francia eternamente giovane. È in perpetuo smantellamento e ricostruzione, come quando abbatté la prigione e eresse il monumento nella Place de La Bastille. La Francia è sempre stata sull’orlo della dissoluzione. Ha trovato l’unico metodo di immortalità. Muore ogni giorno.

X

On Lying in Bed

Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a coloured pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling. This, however, is not generally a part of the domestic apparatus on the premises. I think myself that the thing might be managed with several pails of Aspinall and a broom. Only if one worked in a really sweeping and masterly way, and laid on the colour in great washes, it might drip down again on one’s face in floods of rich and mingled colour like some strange fairy rain; and that would have its disadvantages. I am afraid it would be necessary to stick to black and white in this form of artistic composition. To that purpose, indeed, the white ceiling would be of the greatest possible use; in fact, it is the only use I think of a white ceiling being put to.

But for the beautiful experiment of lying in bed I might never have discovered it. For years I have been looking for some blank spaces in a modern house to draw on. Paper is much too small for any really allegorical design; as Cyrano de Bergerac says, “Il me faut des géants.” But when I tried to find these fine clear spaces in the modern rooms such as we all live in I was continually disappointed. I found an endless pattern and complication of small objects hung like a curtain of fine links between me and my desire. I examined the walls; I found them to my surprise to be already covered with wallpaper, and I found the wallpaper to be already covered with uninteresting images, all bearing a ridiculous resemblance to each other. I could not understand why one arbitrary symbol (a symbol apparently entirely devoid of any religious or philosophical significance) should thus be sprinkled all over my nice walls like a sort of small-pox. The Bible must be referring to wallpapers, I think, when it says, “Use not vain repetitions, as the Gentiles do.” I found the Turkey carpet a mass of unmeaning colours, rather like the Turkish Empire, or like the sweetmeat called Turkish Delight. I do not exactly know what Turkish Delight really is; but I suppose it is Macedonian Massacres. Everywhere that I went forlornly, with my pencil or my paint brush, I found that others had unaccountably been before me, spoiling the walls, the curtains, and the furniture with their childish and barbaric designs.

… . .

Nowhere did I find a really clear space for sketching until this occasion when I prolonged beyond the proper limit the process of lying on my back in bed. Then the light of that white heaven broke upon my vision, that breadth of mere white which is indeed almost the definition of Paradise, since it means purity and also means freedom. But alas! like all heavens, now that it is seen it is found to be unattainable; it looks more austere and more distant than the blue sky outside the window. For my proposal to paint on it with the bristly end of a broom has been discouraged— never mind by whom; by a person debarred from all political rights— and even my minor proposal to put the other end of the broom into the kitchen fire and turn it to charcoal has not been conceded. Yet I am certain that it was from persons in my position that all the original inspiration came for covering the ceilings of palaces and cathedrals with a riot of fallen angels or victorious gods. I am sure that it was only because Michael Angelo was engaged in the ancient and honourable occupation of lying in bed that he ever realized how the roof of the Sistine Chapel might be made into an awful imitation of a divine drama that could only be acted in the heavens.

The tone now commonly taken toward the practice of lying in bed is hypocritical and unhealthy. Of all the marks of modernity that seem to mean a kind of decadence, there is none more menacing and dangerous than the exultation of very small and secondary matters of conduct at the expense of very great and primary ones, at the expense of eternal ties and tragic human morality. If there is one thing worse than the modern weakening of major morals, it is the modern strengthening of minor morals. Thus it is considered more withering to accuse a man of bad taste than of bad ethics. Cleanliness is not next to godliness nowadays, for cleanliness is made essential and godliness is regarded as an offence. A playwright can attack the institution of marriage so long as he does not misrepresent the manners of society, and I have met Ibsenite pessimists who thought it wrong to take beer but right to take prussic acid. Especially this is so in matters of hygiene; notably such matters as lying in bed. Instead of being regarded, as it ought to be, as a matter of personal convenience and adjustment, it has come to be regarded by many as if it were a part of essential morals to get up early in the morning. It is upon the whole part of practical wisdom; but there is nothing good about it or bad about its opposite.

… . .

Misers get up early in the morning; and burglars, I am informed, get up the night before. It is the great peril of our society that all its mechanisms may grow more fixed while its spirit grows more fickle. A man’s minor actions and arrangements ought to be free, flexible, creative; the things that should be unchangeable are his principles, his ideals. But with us the reverse is true; our views change constantly; but our lunch does not change. Now, I should like men to have strong and rooted conceptions, but as for their lunch, let them have it sometimes in the garden, sometimes in bed, sometimes on the roof, sometimes in the top of a tree. Let them argue from the same first principles, but let them do it in a bed, or a boat, or a balloon. This alarming growth of good habits really means a too great emphasis on those virtues which mere custom can ensure, it means too little emphasis on those virtues which custom can never quite ensure, sudden and splendid virtues of inspired pity or of inspired candour. If ever that abrupt appeal is made to us we may fail. A man can get use to getting up at five o’clock in the morning. A man cannot very well get used to being burnt for his opinions; the first experiment is commonly fatal. Let us pay a little more attention to these possibilities of the heroic and unexpected. I dare say that when I get out of this bed I shall do some deed of an almost terrible virtue.

For those who study the great art of lying in bed there is one emphatic caution to be added. Even for those who can do their work in bed (like journalists), still more for those whose work cannot be done in bed (as, for example, the professional harpooners of whales), it is obvious that the indulgence must be very occasional. But that is not the caution I mean. The caution is this: if you do lie in bed, be sure you do it without any reason or justification at all. I do not speak, of course, of the seriously sick. But if a healthy man lies in bed, let him do it without a rag of excuse; then he will get up a healthy man. If he does it for some secondary hygienic reason, if he has some scientific explanation, he may get up a hypochondriac.

X

Sullo starsene a letto

Stare a letto sarebbe un’esperienza del tutto perfetta e suprema se solo si avesse una matita colorata abbastanza lunga da disegnare sul soffitto. Questo, tuttavia, non fa parte in genere dell’attrezzatura domestica presente in casa. Io penso che la cosa si potrebbe realizzare con parecchi secchi di Aspinall e una scopa. Solo che, se si lavorasse in modo davvero ampio e magistrale, e si stendesse il colore a grandi velature, esso potrebbe gocciolare di nuovo sul proprio volto in fiotti di colore ricco e mescolato come una strana pioggia fatata; e ciò avrebbe i suoi svantaggi. Temo che sarebbe necessario attenersi al bianco e nero in questa forma di composizione artistica. A tale scopo, in verità, il soffitto bianco sarebbe della massima utilità possibile; anzi, è l’unico uso che io concepisca per un soffitto bianco.

Ma senza il bell’esperimento dello stare a letto forse non l’avrei mai scoperto. Per anni sono andato in cerca di qualche spazio vuoto in una casa moderna su cui disegnare. La carta è troppo piccola per qualsiasi disegno davvero allegorico; come dice Cirano di Bergerac, «Il me faut des géants». Ma quando cercai di trovare questi ampi e nitidi spazi nelle stanze moderne come quelle in cui tutti viviamo, fui continuamente deluso. Trovai un infinito ricamo e una complicazione di piccoli oggetti appesi come una tenda di fini maglie tra me e il mio desiderio. Esaminai le pareti; le trovai con mia sorpresa già coperte di carta da parati, e trovai la carta da parati già coperta di immagini insignificanti, tutte recanti una ridicola somiglianza l’una con l’altra. Non riuscivo a capire perché un simbolo arbitrario (un simbolo apparentemente del tutto privo di qualsiasi significato religioso o filosofico) dovesse così essere cosparso su tutte le mie belle pareti come una sorta di vaiolo. La Bibbia deve riferirsi alle carte da parati, io penso, quando dice: «Non usate vane ripetizioni, come fanno i Gentili». Trovai il tappeto di Turchia una massa di colori privi di senso, piuttosto come l’Impero turco, o come il dolciume detto Rahat Lukum turco. Non so esattamente che cosa il Rahat Lukum sia davvero; ma suppongo che siano Massacri macedoni. Ovunque andassi sconsolato, con la mia matita o il mio pennello, trovavo che altri m’avevano inspiegabilmente preceduto, guastando le pareti, le tende e i mobili con i loro disegni infantili e barbarici.

… . .

In nessun luogo trovai uno spazio davvero libero per schizzare, finché in questa occasione prolungai oltre il limite dovuto il processo dello stare disteso supino a letto. Allora la luce di quel bianco cielo irruppe sulla mia vista, quell’ampiezza di puro bianco che è invero quasi la definizione del Paradiso, poiché significa purezza e significa anche libertà. Ma ahimè! come tutti i cieli, ora che è visto lo si trova irraggiungibile; appare più austero e più distante del cielo azzurro fuori dalla finestra. Poiché la mia proposta di dipingervi sopra con l’estremità setolosa d’una scopa è stata scoraggiata — non importa da chi; da una persona esclusa da ogni diritto politico — e persino la mia proposta minore di mettere l’altra estremità della scopa nel fuoco della cucina e ridurla a carbone non è stata concessa. Eppure sono certo che fu da persone nella mia posizione che venne tutta l’ispirazione originaria per coprire i soffitti dei palazzi e delle cattedrali con un tripudio di angeli caduti o dèi vittoriosi. Sono sicuro che fu soltanto perché Michelangelo Buonarroti era intento all’antica e onorevole occupazione dello stare a letto che egli mai comprese come il tetto della Cappella Sistina potesse esser fatto in una tremenda imitazione d’un dramma divino che poteva recitarsi soltanto nei cieli.

Il tono comunemente assunto oggi verso la pratica dello stare a letto è ipocrita e malsano. Di tutti i segni della modernità che paiono significare una sorta di decadenza, non ve n’è alcuno più minaccioso e pericoloso dell’esaltazione di questioni di condotta piccolissime e secondarie a spese di quelle grandissime e primarie, a spese dei legami eterni e della tragica moralità umana. Se c’è una cosa peggiore del moderno indebolimento della morale maggiore, è il moderno rafforzamento della morale minore. Così si ritiene più annientante accusare un uomo di cattivo gusto che di cattiva etica. La pulizia non è più prossima alla santità di questi tempi, poiché la pulizia è resa essenziale e la santità è considerata un’offesa. Un commediografo può attaccare l’istituto del matrimonio purché non travisi i costumi della società, e io ho incontrato pessimisti ibseniani che ritenevano male bere birra ma bene bere acido prussico. Specialmente è così nelle questioni d’igiene; notoriamente questioni come lo stare a letto. Invece d’esser considerato, come dovrebbe esserlo, come una questione di comodità e adattamento personali, è giunto a esser considerato da molti come se fosse parte della morale essenziale l’alzarsi presto al mattino. È in complesso parte della saggezza pratica; ma non c’è nulla di buono in esso né di cattivo nel suo contrario.

… . .

Gli avari si alzano presto al mattino; e gli scassinatori, mi si informa, si alzano la notte prima. È il grande pericolo della nostra società che tutti i suoi meccanismi possano farsi più fissi mentre il suo spirito si fa più volubile. Le azioni e le disposizioni minori d’un uomo dovrebbero esser libere, flessibili, creative; le cose che dovrebbero esser immutabili sono i suoi principi, i suoi ideali. Ma da noi è vero il contrario; le nostre opinioni mutano di continuo; ma il nostro pranzo non muta. Ora, io vorrei che gli uomini avessero concezioni forti e radicate, ma quanto al loro pranzo, lo prendano talvolta in giardino, talvolta a letto, talvolta sul tetto, talvolta in cima a un albero. Argomentino pure dai medesimi primi principi, ma lo facciano in un letto, o in una barca, o in una mongolfiera. Questa allarmante crescita delle buone abitudini significa in realtà un’enfasi eccessiva su quelle virtù che la mera consuetudine può garantire, significa troppo poca enfasi su quelle virtù che la consuetudine non può mai garantire del tutto, le improvvise e splendide virtù della pietà ispirata o del candore ispirato. Se mai quell’appello brusco ci viene rivolto, possiamo fallire. Un uomo può abituarsi ad alzarsi alle cinque del mattino all’orologio. Un uomo non può molto bene abituarsi a esser bruciato per le sue opinioni; il primo esperimento è di solito fatale. Prestiamo un po’ più d’attenzione a queste possibilità dell’eroico e dell’inatteso. Oserei dire che quando uscirò da questo letto compirò qualche gesto d’una virtù quasi terribile.

Per coloro che studiano la grande arte di starsene a letto v’è un’enfatica ammonizione da aggiungere. Anche per coloro che possono svolgere il proprio lavoro a letto (come i giornalisti), e ancor più per coloro il cui lavoro non può svolgersi a letto (come, per esempio, i ramponieri di professione delle balene), è ovvio che l’indulgenza deve essere assai occasionale. Ma non è questa l’ammonizione che intendo. L’ammonizione è questa: se proprio ve ne state a letto, badate di farlo senza alcuna ragione o giustificazione di sorta. Non parlo, s’intende, dei gravemente malati. Ma se un uomo sano se ne sta a letto, che lo faccia senza uno straccio di scusa; allora si alzerà uomo sano. Se lo fa per qualche ragione secondaria igienica, se ha qualche spiegazione scientifica, potrà alzarsi ipocondriaco.

XI

The Twelve Men

The other day, while I was meditating on morality and Mr. H. Pitt, I was, so to speak, snatched up and put into a jury box to try people. The snatching took some weeks, but to me it seemed something sudden and arbitrary. I was put into this box because I lived in Battersea, and my name began with a C. Looking round me, I saw that there were also summoned and in attendance in the court whole crowds and processions of men, all of whom lived in Battersea, and all of whose names began with a C.

It seems that they always summon jurymen in this sweeping alphabetical way. At one official blow, so to speak, Battersea is denuded of all its C’s, and left to get on as best it can with the rest of the alphabet. A Cumberpatch is missing from one street—a Chizzolpop from another— three Chucksterfields from Chucksterfield House; the children are crying out for an absent Cadgerboy; the woman at the street corner is weeping for her Coffintop, and will not be comforted. We settle down with a rollicking ease into our seats (for we are a bold, devil-may-care race, the C’s of Battersea), and an oath is administered to us in a totally inaudible manner by an individual resembling an Army surgeon in his second childhood. We understand, however, that we are to well and truly try the case between our sovereign lord the King and the prisoner at the bar, neither of whom has put in an appearance as yet.

… . .

Just when I was wondering whether the King and the prisoner were, perhaps, coming to an amicable understanding in some adjoining public house, the prisoner’s head appears above the barrier of the dock; he is accused of stealing bicycles, and he is the living image of a great friend of mine. We go into the matter of the stealing of the bicycles. We do well and truly try the case between the King and the prisoner in the affair of the bicycles. And we come to the conclusion, after a brief but reasonable discussion, that the King is not in any way implicated. Then we pass on to a woman who neglected her children, and who looks as if somebody or something had neglected her. And I am one of those who fancy that something had.

All the time that the eye took in these light appearances and the brain passed these light criticisms, there was in the heart a barbaric pity and fear which men have never been able to utter from the beginning, but which is the power behind half the poems of the world. The mood cannot even adequately be suggested, except faintly by this statement that tragedy is the highest expression of the infinite value of human life. Never had I stood so close to pain; and never so far away from pessimism. Ordinarily, I should not have spoken of these dark emotions at all, for speech about them is too difficult; but I mention them now for a specific and particular reason to the statement of which I will proceed at once. I speak these feelings because out of the furnace of them there came a curious realisation of a political or social truth. I saw with a queer and indescribable kind of clearness what a jury really is, and why we must never let it go.

The trend of our epoch up to this time has been consistently towards specialism and professionalism. We tend to have trained soldiers because they fight better, trained singers because they sing better, trained dancers because they dance better, specially instructed laughers because they laugh better, and so on and so on. The principle has been applied to law and politics by innumerable modern writers. Many Fabians have insisted that a greater part of our political work should be performed by experts. Many legalists have declared that the untrained jury should be altogether supplanted by the trained Judge.

… . .

Now, if this world of ours were really what is called reasonable, I do not know that there would be any fault to find with this. But the true result of all experience and the true foundation of all religion is this. That the four or five things that it is most practically essential that a man should know, are all of them what people call paradoxes. That is to say, that though we all find them in life to be mere plain truths, yet we cannot easily state them in words without being guilty of seeming verbal contradictions. One of them, for instance, is the unimpeachable platitude that the man who finds most pleasure for himself is often the man who least hunts for it. Another is the paradox of courage; the fact that the way to avoid death is not to have too much aversion to it. Whoever is careless enough of his bones to climb some hopeful cliff above the tide may save his bones by that carelessness. Whoever will lose his life, the same shall save it; an entirely practical and prosaic statement.

Now, one of these four or five paradoxes which should be taught to every infant prattling at his mother’s knee is the following: That the more a man looks at a thing, the less he can see it, and the more a man learns a thing the less he knows it. The Fabian argument of the expert, that the man who is trained should be the man who is trusted would be absolutely unanswerable if it were really true that a man who studied a thing and practiced it every day went on seeing more and more of its significance. But he does not. He goes on seeing less and less of its significance. In the same way, alas! we all go on every day, unless we are continually goading ourselves into gratitude and humility, seeing less and less of the significance of the sky or the stones.

… . .

Now it is a terrible business to mark a man out for the vengeance of men. But it is a thing to which a man can grow accustomed, as he can to other terrible things; he can even grow accustomed to the sun. And the horrible thing about all legal officials, even the best, about all judges, magistrates, barristers, detectives, and policemen, is not that they are wicked (some of them are good), not that they are stupid (several of them are quite intelligent), it is simply that they have got used to it.

Strictly they do not see the prisoner in the dock; all they see is the usual man in the usual place. They do not see the awful court of judgment; they only see their own workshop. Therefore, the instinct of Christian civilisation has most wisely declared that into their judgments there shall upon every occasion be infused fresh blood and fresh thoughts from the streets. Men shall come in who can see the court and the crowd, and coarse faces of the policeman and the professional criminals, the wasted faces of the wastrels, the unreal faces of the gesticulating counsel, and see it all as one sees a new picture or a play hitherto unvisited.

Our civilisation has decided, and very justly decided, that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. It wishes for light upon that awful matter, it asks men who know no more law than I know, but who can feel the things that I felt in the jury box. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

XI

I dodici uomini

L’altro giorno, mentre meditavo sulla moralità e sul signor H. Pitt, fui, per così dire, ghermito e messo in un banco di giuria a giudicare le persone. Il ghermire richiese alcune settimane, ma a me parve qualcosa di improvviso e arbitrario. Fui messo in questo banco perché abitavo a Battersea, e il mio nome cominciava con la C. Guardandomi attorno, vidi che c’erano anche convocate e presenti in tribunale intere folle e processioni di uomini, tutti abitanti a Battersea, e tutti col nome che cominciava per C.

Pare che convochino sempre i giurati in questo travolgente modo alfabetico. A un solo colpo ufficiale, per così dire, Battersea è spogliata di tutte le sue C, e lasciata a cavarsela come può col resto dell’alfabeto. Un Cumberpatch manca da una via — un Chizzolpop da un’altra — tre Chucksterfield da Chucksterfield House; i bambini gridano per un assente Cadgerboy; la donna all’angolo della via piange per il suo Coffintop, e non vuol esser consolata. Ci sistemiamo con giovialità disinvolta ai nostri posti (poiché siamo una razza ardita e spericolata, noi C di Battersea), e ci viene somministrato un giuramento in modo del tutto inudibile da un individuo che somiglia a un chirurgo dell’Esercito nella sua seconda infanzia. Comprendiamo, tuttavia, che dobbiamo bene e fedelmente giudicare la causa tra il nostro sovrano signore il Re e il prigioniero alla sbarra, nessuno dei quali ha ancora fatto la sua comparsa.

… . .

Proprio mentre mi domandavo se il Re e il prigioniero non stessero forse giungendo a un’amichevole intesa in qualche osteria attigua, la testa del prigioniero appare sopra la barriera del banco degli imputati; è accusato di rubare biciclette, ed è l’immagine vivente d’un mio grande amico. Entriamo nel merito del furto delle biciclette. Bene e fedelmente giudichiamo la causa tra il Re e il prigioniero nella faccenda delle biciclette. E giungiamo alla conclusione, dopo una breve ma ragionevole discussione, che il Re non è in alcun modo implicato. Poi passiamo a una donna che trascurava i suoi bambini, e che ha l’aria d’essere stata trascurata da qualcuno o da qualcosa. E io sono tra quelli che immaginano che qualcosa lo fosse stato.

Per tutto il tempo in cui l’occhio coglieva queste lievi apparenze e la mente pronunciava questi lievi giudizi, c’era nel cuore una barbarica pietà e paura che gli uomini non hanno mai saputo esprimere dal principio, ma che è la forza dietro metà dei poemi del mondo. Lo stato d’animo non può neppure adeguatamente esser suggerito, se non fievolmente da questa affermazione: che la tragedia è la più alta espressione dell’infinito valore della vita umana. Mai ero stato tanto vicino al dolore; e mai tanto lontano dal pessimismo. Ordinariamente, non avrei affatto parlato di queste oscure emozioni, poiché parlarne è troppo difficile; ma le menziono ora per una ragione specifica e particolare alla cui enunciazione procederò subito. Esprimo questi sentimenti perché dalla loro fornace venne una curiosa realizzazione d’una verità politica o sociale. Vidi con una strana e indescrivibile chiarezza che cosa una giuria realmente sia, e perché non dobbiamo mai lasciarla andare.

L’andamento della nostra epoca fino a questo tempo è stato costantemente verso lo specialismo e il professionismo. Tendiamo ad avere soldati addestrati perché combattono meglio, cantanti addestrati perché cantano meglio, danzatori addestrati perché danzano meglio, ridenti appositamente istruiti perché ridono meglio, e così via all’infinito. Il principio è stato applicato al diritto e alla politica da innumerevoli scrittori moderni. Molti fabiani hanno insistito che una parte maggiore del nostro lavoro politico dovrebbe esser svolta da esperti. Molti legalisti hanno dichiarato che la giuria non addestrata dovrebbe essere del tutto soppiantata dal Giudice addestrato.

… . .

Ora, se questo nostro mondo fosse davvero ciò che si dice ragionevole, non so se ci sarebbe da trovar difetto in questo. Ma il vero risultato di ogni esperienza e il vero fondamento d’ogni religione è questo. Che le quattro o cinque cose che è più praticamente essenziale che un uomo conosca, sono tutte quelle che la gente chiama paradossi. Vale a dire, che benché tutti le troviamo nella vita come mere pure verità, pure non possiamo facilmente enunciarle a parole senza renderci colpevoli di apparenti contraddizioni verbali. Una di esse, per esempio, è la irreprensibile ovvietà che l’uomo che trova più piacere per sé è spesso l’uomo che meno lo insegue. Un’altra è il paradosso del coraggio; il fatto che il modo per evitare la morte è non averne troppa avversione. Chiunque sia abbastanza incurante delle proprie ossa da scalare qualche promettente dirupo sopra la marea può salvare le proprie ossa per quell’incuranza. Chiunque perderà la propria vita, quello stesso la salverà; affermazione del tutto pratica e prosaica.

Ora, uno di questi quattro o cinque paradossi che dovrebbero esser insegnati a ogni lattante che balbetta al ginocchio materno è il seguente: che più un uomo guarda una cosa, meno la sa vedere, e più un uomo apprende una cosa meno la conosce. L’argomento fabiano dell’esperto, che l’uomo addestrato dovrebbe essere l’uomo di cui ci si fida, sarebbe assolutamente inconfutabile se fosse davvero vero che un uomo il quale studia una cosa e la pratica ogni giorno andasse vedendo sempre più del suo significato. Ma non è così. Va vedendo sempre meno del suo significato. Allo stesso modo, ahimè! tutti andiamo ogni giorno, se non ci pungoliamo continuamente verso la gratitudine e l’umiltà, vedendo sempre meno del significato del cielo o delle pietre.

… . .

Ora è cosa terribile segnare un uomo per la vendetta degli uomini. Ma è cosa a cui un uomo può abituarsi, come può abituarsi ad altre cose terribili; può persino abituarsi al sole. E la cosa orribile di tutti i funzionari legali, anche i migliori, di tutti i giudici, magistrati, avvocati, investigatori e poliziotti, non è che siano malvagi (alcuni di loro sono buoni), non che siano stupidi (parecchi di loro sono assai intelligenti), è semplicemente che vi si sono abituati.

A rigore essi non vedono il prigioniero al banco; tutto ciò che vedono è il solito uomo nel solito posto. Non vedono il tremendo tribunale del giudizio; vedono solo la loro bottega. Perciò, l’istinto della civiltà cristiana ha assai saggiamente dichiarato che nei loro giudizi si debba a ogni occasione infondere sangue fresco e pensieri freschi dalle strade. Entrino uomini capaci di vedere il tribunale e la folla, e le facce rozze dei poliziotti e dei criminali professionisti, le facce consunte dei perdigiorno, le facce irreali degli avvocati gesticolanti, e di veder tutto ciò come si vede un quadro nuovo o un dramma finora mai visto.

La nostra civiltà ha deciso, e assai giustamente deciso, che stabilire la colpevolezza o l’innocenza degli uomini è cosa troppo importante per esser affidata a uomini addestrati. Essa desidera luce su quella tremenda faccenda, chiede uomini che di legge non sanno più di quanto ne sappia io, ma che sanno sentire le cose che io sentii nel banco di giuria. Quando vuole catalogare una biblioteca, o scoprire il sistema solare, o qualsiasi inezia di quel genere, consuma specialisti. Ma quando desidera che si faccia qualcosa di davvero serio, raccoglie dodici degli uomini comuni che stanno lì attorno. La stessa cosa fu fatta, se ben ricordo, dal Fondatore del Cristianesimo.

XII

The Wind and the Trees

I am sitting under tall trees, with a great wind boiling like surf about the tops of them, so that their living load of leaves rocks and roars in something that is at once exultation and agony. I feel, in fact, as if I were actually sitting at the bottom of the sea among mere anchors and ropes, while over my head and over the green twilight of water sounded the everlasting rush of waves and the toil and crash and shipwreck of tremendous ships. The wind tugs at the trees as if it might pluck them root and all out of the earth like tufts of grass. Or, to try yet another desperate figure of speech for this unspeakable energy, the trees are straining and tearing and lashing as if they were a tribe of dragons each tied by the tail.

As I look at these top-heavy giants tortured by an invisible and violent witchcraft, a phrase comes back into my mind. I remember a little boy of my acquaintance who was once walking in Battersea Park under just such torn skies and tossing trees. He did not like the wind at all; it blew in his face too much; it made him shut his eyes; and it blew off his hat, of which he was very proud. He was, as far as I remember, about four. After complaining repeatedly of the atmospheric unrest, he said at last to his mother, “Well, why don’t you take away the trees, and then it wouldn’t wind.”

Nothing could be more intelligent or natural than this mistake. Any one looking for the first time at the trees might fancy that they were indeed vast and titanic fans, which by their mere waving agitated the air around them for miles. Nothing, I say, could be more human and excusable than the belief that it is the trees which make the wind. Indeed, the belief is so human and excusable that it is, as a matter of fact, the belief of about ninety-nine out of a hundred of the philosophers, reformers, sociologists, and politicians of the great age in which we live. My small friend was, in fact, very like the principal modern thinkers; only much nicer.

… . .

In the little apologue or parable which he has thus the honour of inventing, the trees stand for all visible things and the wind for the invisible. The wind is the spirit which bloweth where it listeth; the trees are the material things of the world which are blown where the spirit lists. The wind is philosophy, religion, revolution; the trees are cities and civilisations. We only know that there is a wind because the trees on some distant hill suddenly go mad. We only know that there is a real revolution because all the chimney-pots go mad on the whole skyline of the city.

Just as the ragged outline of a tree grows suddenly more ragged and rises into fantastic crests or tattered tails, so the human city rises under the wind of the spirit into toppling temples or sudden spires. No man has ever seen a revolution. Mobs pouring through the palaces, blood pouring down the gutters, the guillotine lifted higher than the throne, a prison in ruins, a people in arms—these things are not revolution, but the results of revolution.

You cannot see a wind; you can only see that there is a wind. So, also, you cannot see a revolution; you can only see that there is a revolution. And there never has been in the history of the world a real revolution, brutally active and decisive, which was not preceded by unrest and new dogma in the reign of invisible things. All revolutions began by being abstract. Most revolutions began by being quite pedantically abstract.

The wind is up above the world before a twig on the tree has moved. So there must always be a battle in the sky before there is a battle on the earth. Since it is lawful to pray for the coming of the kingdom, it is lawful also to pray for the coming of the revolution that shall restore the kingdom. It is lawful to hope to hear the wind of Heaven in the trees. It is lawful to pray “Thine anger come on earth as it is in Heaven.”

… . .

The great human dogma, then, is that the wind moves the trees. The great human heresy is that the trees move the wind. When people begin to say that the material circumstances have alone created the moral circumstances, then they have prevented all possibility of serious change. For if my circumstances have made me wholly stupid, how can I be certain even that I am right in altering those circumstances?

The man who represents all thought as an accident of environment is simply smashing and discrediting all his own thoughts— including that one. To treat the human mind as having an ultimate authority is necessary to any kind of thinking, even free thinking. And nothing will ever be reformed in this age or country unless we realise that the moral fact comes first.

For example, most of us, I suppose, have seen in print and heard in debating clubs an endless discussion that goes on between Socialists and total abstainers. The latter say that drink leads to poverty; the former say that poverty leads to drink. I can only wonder at their either of them being content with such simple physical explanations. Surely it is obvious that the thing which among the English proletariat leads to poverty is the same as the thing which leads to drink; the absence of strong civic dignity, the absence of an instinct that resists degradation.

When you have discovered why enormous English estates were not long ago cut up into small holdings like the land of France, you will have discovered why the Englishman is more drunken than the Frenchman. The Englishman, among his million delightful virtues, really has this quality, which may strictly be called “hand to mouth,” because under its influence a man’s hand automatically seeks his own mouth, instead of seeking (as it sometimes should do) his oppressor’s nose. And a man who says that the English inequality in land is due only to economic causes, or that the drunkenness of England is due only to economic causes, is saying something so absurd that he cannot really have thought what he was saying.

Yet things quite as preposterous as this are said and written under the influence of that great spectacle of babyish helplessness, the economic theory of history. We have people who represent that all great historic motives were economic, and then have to howl at the top of their voices in order to induce the modern democracy to act on economic motives. The extreme Marxian politicians in England exhibit themselves as a small, heroic minority, trying vainly to induce the world to do what, according to their theory, the world always does. The truth is, of course, that there will be a social revolution the moment the thing has ceased to be purely economic. You can never have a revolution in order to establish a democracy. You must have a democracy in order to have a revolution.

… . .

I get up from under the trees, for the wind and the slight rain have ceased. The trees stand up like golden pillars in a clear sunlight. The tossing of the trees and the blowing of the wind have ceased simultaneously. So I suppose there are still modern philosophers who will maintain that the trees make the wind.

XII

Il Vento e gli alberi

Sto seduto sotto alti alberi, con un gran vento che ribolle come risacca attorno alle loro cime, sicché il loro vivo carico di foglie oscilla e rugge in qualcosa che è al tempo stesso esultanza e agonia. Mi sento, in effetti, come se stessi davvero seduto sul fondo del mare tra semplici àncore e cime, mentre sopra il mio capo e sopra il verde crepuscolo dell’acqua risuonava l’eterno impeto delle onde e il travaglio e lo schianto e il naufragio di navi tremende. Il vento strattona gli alberi come se potesse svellerli con la radice e tutto fuori dalla terra come ciuffi d’erba. Oppure, per tentare ancora un’altra disperata figura retorica per questa indicibile energia, gli alberi si tendono e si lacerano e si sferzano come se fossero una tribù di draghi ciascuno legato per la coda.

Mentre guardo questi giganti sbilanciati torturati da un’invisibile e violenta stregoneria, una frase mi torna alla mente. Ricordo un ometto di mia conoscenza che una volta camminava nel Battersea Park sotto cieli così squarciati e alberi così agitati. Non gli piaceva affatto il vento; gli soffiava troppo in faccia; lo costringeva a chiudere gli occhi; e gli soffiava via il cappello, di cui era molto fiero. Aveva, per quanto ricordo, circa quattro anni. Dopo essersi lamentato ripetutamente dell’irrequietezza atmosferica, disse infine a sua madre: «Beh, perché non porti via gli alberi, e allora non ci sarà più vento».

Nulla potrebbe essere più intelligente o naturale di questo errore. Chiunque guardasse per la prima volta gli alberi potrebbe immaginare che fossero davvero vasti e titanici ventagli, i quali col loro solo sventolìo agitassero l’aria intorno a sé per miglia. Nulla, dico, potrebbe essere più umano e scusabile della credenza che siano gli alberi a fare il vento. In verità, la credenza è così umana e scusabile che è, di fatto, la credenza di circa novantanove filosofi, riformatori, sociologi e politici su cento della grande età in cui viviamo. Il mio piccolo amico era, in effetti, molto simile ai principali pensatori moderni; solo molto più simpatico.

… . .

Nel piccolo apologo o parabola che egli ha così l’onore d’inventare, gli alberi stanno per tutte le cose visibili e il vento per l’invisibile. Il vento è lo spirito che soffia dove vuole; gli alberi sono le cose materiali del mondo che sono soffiate dove lo spirito vuole. Il vento è filosofia, religione, rivoluzione; gli alberi sono città e civiltà. Sappiamo che c’è un vento soltanto perché gli alberi su qualche lontana collina all’improvviso impazziscono. Sappiamo che c’è una vera rivoluzione soltanto perché tutti i comignoli impazziscono lungo l’intero orizzonte della città.

Proprio come il profilo frastagliato d’un albero si fa d’un tratto più frastagliato e si leva in creste fantastiche o code lacerate, così la città umana si leva sotto il vento dello spirito in templi vacillanti o guglie improvvise. Nessun uomo ha mai visto una rivoluzione. Folle che dilagano per i palazzi, sangue che cola giù per i rigagnoli, la ghigliottina levata più in alto del trono, una prigione in rovina, un popolo in armi — queste cose non sono la rivoluzione, ma i risultati della rivoluzione.

Non potete vedere un vento; potete solo vedere che c’è un vento. Così, del pari, non potete vedere una rivoluzione; potete solo vedere che c’è una rivoluzione. E non c’è mai stata nella storia del mondo una vera rivoluzione, brutalmente attiva e decisiva, che non fosse preceduta da inquietudine e nuovo dogma nel regno delle cose invisibili. Tutte le rivoluzioni cominciarono con l’esser astratte. La maggior parte delle rivoluzioni cominciarono con l’esser assai pedantemente astratte.

Il vento è alto sopra il mondo prima che un ramoscello sull’albero si sia mosso. Così dev’esserci sempre una battaglia nel cielo prima che ci sia una battaglia sulla terra. Poiché è lecito pregare per la venuta del regno, è lecito anche pregare per la venuta della rivoluzione che ristabilisca il regno. È lecito sperare di udire il vento del Cielo tra gli alberi. È lecito pregare: «Venga la tua ira sulla terra come è nel Cielo».

… . .

Il grande dogma umano, dunque, è che il vento muove gli alberi. La grande eresia umana è che gli alberi muovono il vento. Quando la gente comincia a dire che le circostanze materiali hanno da sole creato le circostanze morali, allora essa ha precluso ogni possibilità di serio mutamento. Poiché se le mie circostanze mi hanno reso interamente stupido, come posso essere certo persino che io abbia ragione nel mutare quelle circostanze?

L’uomo che rappresenta ogni pensiero come un accidente dell’ambiente sta semplicemente demolendo e screditando tutti i suoi stessi pensieri — compreso quello. Trattare la mente umana come dotata d’un’autorità ultima è necessario a qualsiasi genere di pensiero, persino al libero pensiero. E nulla sarà mai riformato in questa età o in questo paese finché non comprenderemo che il fatto morale viene per primo.

Per esempio, la maggior parte di noi, suppongo, ha visto in stampa e udito nei circoli di dibattito un’interminabile discussione che intercorre tra socialisti e astemi totali. Questi ultimi dicono che il bere conduce alla povertà; i primi dicono che la povertà conduce al bere. Non posso che stupirmi che l’una o l’altra parte si accontenti di spiegazioni fisiche così semplici. Certo è ovvio che la cosa che tra il proletariato inglese conduce alla povertà è la stessa che conduce al bere; l’assenza d’una forte dignità civica, l’assenza d’un istinto che resista alla degradazione.

Quando avrete scoperto perché enormi tenute inglesi non furono già da tempo spezzettate in piccoli poderi come la terra di Francia, avrete scoperto perché l’inglese è più dedito all’ubriachezza del francese. L’inglese, tra il suo milione di deliziose virtù, ha davvero questa qualità, che a rigore si può chiamare «dalla mano alla bocca», poiché sotto la sua influenza la mano d’un uomo cerca automaticamente la propria bocca, invece di cercare (come talora dovrebbe) il naso del suo oppressore. E un uomo che dice che la disuguaglianza inglese nella terra è dovuta solo a cause economiche, o che l’ubriachezza d’Inghilterra è dovuta solo a cause economiche, dice qualcosa di così assurdo che non può davvero aver pensato ciò che diceva.

Eppure cose altrettanto assurde di questa si dicono e si scrivono sotto l’influenza di quel grande spettacolo d’impotenza infantile, la teoria economica della storia. Abbiamo gente che rappresenta tutti i grandi moventi storici come economici, e poi deve urlare a squarciagola per indurre la moderna democrazia ad agire per moventi economici. Gli estremi politici marxisti in Inghilterra si esibiscono come una piccola, eroica minoranza, che tenta invano d’indurre il mondo a fare ciò che, secondo la loro teoria, il mondo fa sempre. La verità è, s’intende, che ci sarà una rivoluzione sociale nel momento in cui la cosa avrà cessato d’essere puramente economica. Non potrete mai avere una rivoluzione per istituire una democrazia. Dovete avere una democrazia per avere una rivoluzione.

… . .

Mi alzo da sotto gli alberi, poiché il vento e la lieve pioggia sono cessati. Gli alberi si ergono come pilastri dorati in una chiara luce solare. L’agitarsi degli alberi e il soffiare del vento sono cessati simultaneamente. Sicché suppongo che ci siano ancora filosofi moderni i quali sosterranno che gli alberi fanno il vento.

XIII

The Dickensian

He was a quiet man, dressed in dark clothes, with a large limp straw hat; with something almost military in his moustache and whiskers, but with a quite unmilitary stoop and very dreamy eyes. He was gazing with a rather gloomy interest at the cluster, one might almost say the tangle, of small shipping which grew thicker as our little pleasure boat crawled up into Yarmouth Harbour. A boat entering this harbour, as every one knows, does not enter in front of the town like a foreigner, but creeps round at the back like a traitor taking the town in the rear. The passage of the river seems almost too narrow for traffic, and in consequence the bigger ships look colossal. As we passed under a timber ship from Norway, which seemed to block up the heavens like a cathedral, the man in a straw hat pointed to an odd wooden figurehead carved like a woman, and said, like one continuing a conversation, “Now, why have they left off having them. They didn’t do any one any harm?”

I replied with some flippancy about the captain’s wife being jealous; but I knew in my heart that the man had struck a deep note. There has been something in our most recent civilisation which is mysteriously hostile to such healthy and humane symbols.

“They hate anything like that, which is human and pretty,” he continued, exactly echoing my thoughts. “I believe they broke up all the jolly old figureheads with hatchets and enjoyed doing it.”

“Like Mr. Quilp,” I answered, “when he battered the wooden Admiral with the poker.”

His whole face suddenly became alive, and for the first time he stood erect and stared at me.

“Do you come to Yarmouth for that?” he asked.

“For what?”

“For Dickens,” he answered, and drummed with his foot on the deck.

“No,” I answered; “I come for fun, though that is much the same thing.”

“I always come,” he answered quietly, “to find Peggotty’s boat. It isn’t here.”

And when he said that I understood him perfectly.

There are two Yarmouths; I daresay there are two hundred to the people who live there. I myself have never come to the end of the list of Batterseas. But there are two to the stranger and tourist; the poor part, which is dignified, and the prosperous part, which is savagely vulgar. My new friend haunted the first of these like a ghost; to the latter he would only distantly allude.

“The place is very much spoilt now… . trippers, you know,” he would say, not at all scornfully, but simply sadly. That was the nearest he would go to an admission of the monstrous watering place that lay along the front, outblazing the sun, and more deafening than the sea. But behind—out of earshot of this uproar—there are lanes so narrow that they seem like secret entrances to some hidden place of repose. There are squares so brimful of silence that to plunge into one of them is like plunging into a pool. In these places the man and I paced up and down talking about Dickens, or, rather, doing what all true Dickensians do, telling each other verbatim long passages which both of us knew quite well already. We were really in the atmosphere of the older England. Fishermen passed us who might well have been characters like Peggotty; we went into a musty curiosity shop and bought pipe-stoppers carved into figures from Pickwick. The evening was settling down between all the buildings with that slow gold that seems to soak everything when we went into the church.

In the growing darkness of the church, my eye caught the coloured windows which on that clear golden evening were flaming with all the passionate heraldry of the most fierce and ecstatic of Christian arts. At length I said to my companion:

“Do you see that angel over there? I think it must be meant for the angel at the sepulchre.”

He saw that I was somewhat singularly moved, and he raised his eyebrows.

“I daresay,” he said. “What is there odd about that?”

After a pause I said, “Do you remember what the angel at the sepulchre said?”

“Not particularly,” he answered; “but where are you off to in such a hurry?”

I walked him rapidly out of the still square, past the fishermen’s almshouses, towards the coast, he still inquiring indignantly where I was going.

“I am going,” I said, “to put pennies in automatic machines on the beach. I am going to listen to the niggers. I am going to have my photograph taken. I am going to drink ginger-beer out of its original bottle. I will buy some picture postcards. I do want a boat. I am ready to listen to a concertina, and but for the defects of my education should be ready to play it. I am willing to ride on a donkey; that is, if the donkey is willing. I am willing to be a donkey; for all this was commanded me by the angel in the stained-glass window.”

“I really think,” said the Dickensian, “that I had better put you in charge of your relations.”

“Sir,” I answered, “there are certain writers to whom humanity owes much, whose talent is yet of so shy or delicate or retrospective a type that we do well to link it with certain quaint places or certain perishing associations. It would not be unnatural to look for the spirit of Horace Walpole at Strawberry Hill, or even for the shade of Thackeray in Old Kensington. But let us have no antiquarianism about Dickens, for Dickens is not an antiquity. Dickens looks not backward, but forward; he might look at our modern mobs with satire, or with fury, but he would love to look at them. He might lash our democracy, but it would be because, like a democrat, he asked much from it. We will not have all his books bound up under the title of ‘The Old Curiosity Shop.’ Rather we will have them all bound up under the title of ‘Great Expectations.’ Wherever humanity is he would have us face it and make something of it, swallow it with a holy cannibalism, and assimilate it with the digestion of a giant. We must take these trippers as he would have taken them, and tear out of them their tragedy and their farce. Do you remember now what the angel said at the sepulchre? ‘Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here; he is risen.’”

With that we came out suddenly on the wide stretch of the sands, which were black with the knobs and masses of our laughing and quite desperate democracy. And the sunset, which was now in its final glory, flung far over all of them a red flush and glitter like the gigantic firelight of Dickens. In that strange evening light every figure looked at once grotesque and attractive, as if he had a story to tell. I heard a little girl (who was being throttled by another little girl) say by way of self-vindication, “My sister-in-law ‘as got four rings aside her weddin’ ring!”

I stood and listened for more, but my friend went away.

XIII

Il dickensiano

Era un uomo tranquillo, vestito di scuro con un grande cappello di paglia stropicciato; c’era qualcosa di quasi militare nei suoi baffi e nelle basette, ma aveva una postura tutt’altro che militaresca e uno sguardo molto sognante. Stava fissando con interesse, seppur malinconico, il gruppo, si potrebbe dire l’intreccio, di piccole imbarcazioni che si facevano più fitte mentre la nostra barca da piacere avanzava lentamente verso il porto di Yarmouth. Una barca che entra in questo porto, come tutti sanno, non lo fa davanti alla città come un forestiero, ma gira intorno dietro di essa come un traditore che attacca la città alle spalle. Il passaggio del fiume sembra quasi troppo stretto per il traffico, e di conseguenza le navi più grandi appaiono colossali. Mentre passavamo sotto una nave di legno dalla Norvegia, che sembrava ostruire i cieli come una cattedrale, l’uomo con il cappello di paglia indicò una strana figura di prua in legno scolpita a forma di donna e disse, come se stesse continuando una conversazione: “Perché hanno smesso di metterle? Non facevano del male a nessuno?”.

Risposi con una certa leggerezza che la moglie del capitano era gelosa; ma nel mio cuore sapevo che quell’uomo aveva colpito un tasto profondo. C’è stato qualcosa nella nostra civiltà più recente che è misteriosamente ostile a simboli così sani e umani.

«Odiano tutto ciò che è umano e grazioso», continuò, ripetendo esattamente i miei pensieri. «Credo abbiano distrutto tutte le allegre vecchie teste di prua con gli ascia e si siano divertiti a farlo».

«Come il signor Quilp», risposi «quando picchiò l’ammiraglio di legno con lo scacciamosche».

Tutto il suo volto divenne improvvisamente vivo e per la prima volta si erse in piedi e mi fissò.

«Venite a Yarmouth per questo?» chiese.

«A che scopo?»

«Per Dickens», rispose e tamburellò con il piede sul ponte.

«No», risposi io «vengo per divertimento, anche se è più o meno la stessa cosa».

«Vengo sempre», rispose tranquillamente, «per trovare la barca di Peggotty. Non c’è.»

E quando lo disse capii perfettamente cosa intendesse.

Ci sono due Yarmouth: ne sono sicuro ci sono addirittura duecento per chi vi abita. Io stesso non ho mai finito di elencare tutte le Battersea. Ma ce ne sono due per lo straniero e il turista; la parte povera, che è dignitosa, e quella prospera, che è selvaggiamente volgare. Il mio nuovo amico frequentava la prima come un fantasma; della seconda faceva solo vaghe allusioni.

“Ora il posto è molto rovinato… sapete, i turisti”, diceva senza disprezzo ma con semplice tristezza. Era l’unico accenno che faceva all’enorme località balneare che si estendeva lungo la costa, più luminosa del sole, più assordante del mare. Ma dietro, fuori portata di quel baccano, ci sono vicoli così stretti da sembrare ingressi segreti verso un luogo nascosto e tranquillo. Ci sono piazze così piene di silenzio che entrarvi è come tuffarsi in una pozza. In quei posti l’uomo ed io camminavamo avanti e indietro parlando di Dickens, o meglio, facendo ciò che fanno tutti i veri dickensiani: recitandoci a memoria lunghi passaggi che entrambi conoscevamo già molto bene. Eravamo davvero nell’atmosfera dell’Inghilterra più antica. Ci superavano pescatori che avrebbero potuto ben essere personaggi come Peggotty; entrammo in un negozio di curiosità polveroso e comprammo tampone per pipa intagliati a forma dei personaggi del Pickwick. La sera si stava abbattendo su tutti gli edifici con quel lento oro che sembra impregnare tutto quando entrammo in chiesa.

Nell’oscurità crescente della chiesa, il mio sguardo si posò sulle vetrate colorate che in quella limpida sera dorata ardevano con tutta la passione e l’araldica più feroce ed estatica dell’arte cristiana. Alla fine dissi al mio compagno:

«Vedi quell’angelo laggiù? Penso che debba rappresentare l’angelo al sepolcro.»

Vide che ero in qualche modo singolarmente commosso e alzò le sopracciglia.

«Probabilmente», disse «che cosa c’è di strano in questo?»

Dopo una pausa dissi: «Ti ricordi cosa disse l’angelo al sepolcro?»

«Non particolarmente», rispose; «ma dove stai andando così di fretta?»

Lo feci uscire rapidamente dalla piazza silenziosa, passando per le case dei pescatori, verso la costa, mentre lui continuava a chiedermi indignato dove stessimo andando.

«Vado» dissi «a mettere monetine nelle macchinette automatiche sulla spiaggia. Vado ad ascoltare i negri. Mi farò scattare una fotografia. Beviamo ginger-beer direttamente dalla bottiglia originale. Comprerò delle cartoline illustrate. Vorrei proprio un barcone. Sono pronto a sentire la concertina, e se non fosse per le lacune della mia educazione sarei pronto anche a suonarla. Sono disposto a cavalcare un asino; cioè, se l’asino è d’accordo. Sono disposto a fare l’asino; perché tutto questo mi fu ordinato dall’angelo nella vetrata di vetro

«In realtà penso», disse il dickensiano, «che sarebbe meglio affidare voi alle cure dei vostri parenti.»

“Signore”, risposi, “ci sono certi scrittori a cui l’umanità deve molto, il cui talento è però di un tipo così timido o delicato o retrospettivo che facciamo bene ad associarlo con certi luoghi pittoreschi o certe associazioni in via di estinzione. Non sarebbe innaturale cercare lo spirito di Horace Walpole a Strawberry Hill, o anche l’ombra di Thackeray nella vecchia Kensington. Ma non dobbiamo essere antiquari con Dickens, perché Dickens non è un’antichità. Dickens guarda non all’indietro, ma in avanti; potrebbe guardare le nostre folle moderne con satira, o con furore, ma gli piacerebbe guardarle. Potrebbe flagellare la nostra democrazia, ma sarebbe perché, da democratico, ne chiedeva molto. Non vogliamo che tutti i suoi libri siano rilegati sotto il titolo di ‘Il vecchio negozio di curiosità.’ Piuttosto li vorremmo tutti rilegati sotto il titolo di ‘Grandi speranze.’ Ovunque ci sia l’umanità, lui vorrebbe che la affrontassimo e ne facessimo qualcosa, la inghiottissimo con un santo cannibalismo, e la assimilassimo con la digestione di un gigante. Dobbiamo prendere questi turisti come li avrebbe presi lui, e strappare loro la loro tragedia e la loro commedia. Vi ricordate ora cosa disse l’angelo al sepolcro? ‘Perché cercate tra i morti colui che vive? Non è qui; è risorto.’”

Con ciò uscimmo improvvisamente sulla vasta distesa di sabbia, che era nera per i gruppi e le masse della nostra democrazia ridanciana e del tutto disperata. E il tramonto, che ora era nella sua gloria finale, getò lontano su tutti loro un rossore e uno scintillio come la gigantesca luce di fuoco di Dickens. In quella strana luce serale ogni figura sembrava allo stesso tempo grottesca e attraente, come se avesse una storia da raccontare. Sentii una bambina (che veniva soffocata da un’altra bambina) dire a mo’ di giustificazione: “Mia cognata ha quattro anelli oltre all’anello nuziale!”

Restai in piedi e ascoltai ancora, ma il mio amico se ne andò.

XIV

In Topsy-Turvy Land

Last week, in an idle metaphor, I took the tumbling of trees and the secret energy of the wind as typical of the visible world moving under the violence of the invisible. I took this metaphor merely because I happened to be writing the article in a wood. Nevertheless, now that I return to Fleet Street (which seems to me, I confess, much better and more poetical than all the wild woods in the world), I am strangely haunted by this accidental comparison. The people’s figures seem a forest and their soul a wind. All the human personalities which speak or signal to me seem to have this fantastic character of the fringe of the forest against the sky. That man that talks to me, what is he but an articulate tree? That driver of a van who waves his hands wildly at me to tell me to get out of the way, what is he but a bunch of branches stirred and swayed by a spiritual wind, a sylvan object that I can continue to contemplate with calm? That policeman who lifts his hand to warn three omnibuses of the peril that they run in encountering my person, what is he but a shrub shaken for a moment with that blast of human law which is a thing stronger than anarchy? Gradually this impression of the woods wears off. But this black-and-white contrast between the visible and invisible, this deep sense that the one essential belief is belief in the invisible as against the visible, is suddenly and sensationally brought back to my mind. Exactly at the moment when Fleet Street has grown most familiar (that is, most bewildering and bright), my eye catches a poster of vivid violet, on which I see written in large black letters these remarkable words: “Should Shop Assistants Marry?”

… . .

When I saw those words everything might just as well have turned upside down. The men in Fleet Street might have been walking about on their hands. The cross of St. Paul’s might have been hanging in the air upside down. For I realise that I have really come into a topsy-turvy country; I have come into the country where men do definitely believe that the waving of the trees makes the wind. That is to say, they believe that the material circumstances, however black and twisted, are more important than the spiritual realities, however powerful and pure. “Should Shop Assistants Marry?” I am puzzled to think what some periods and schools of human history would have made of such a question. The ascetics of the East or of some periods of the early Church would have thought that the question meant, “Are not shop assistants too saintly, too much of another world, even to feel the emotions of the sexes?” But I suppose that is not what the purple poster means. In some pagan cities it might have meant, “Shall slaves so vile as shop assistants even be allowed to propagate their abject race?” But I suppose that is not what the purple poster meant. We must face, I fear, the full insanity of what it does mean. It does really mean that a section of the human race is asking whether the primary relations of the two human sexes are particularly good for modern shops. The human race is asking whether Adam and Eve are entirely suitable for Marshall and Snelgrove. If this is not topsy-turvy I cannot imagine what would be. We ask whether the universal institution will improve our (please God) temporary institution. Yet I have known many such questions. For instance, I have known a man ask seriously, “Does Democracy help the Empire?” Which is like saying, “Is art favourable to frescoes?”

I say that there are many such questions asked. But if the world ever runs short of them, I can suggest a large number of questions of precisely the same kind, based on precisely the same principle.

“Do Feet Improve Boots?”—“Is Bread Better when Eaten?”—“Should Hats have Heads in them?”—“Do People Spoil a Town?”—“Do Walls Ruin Wall-papers?”—“Should Neckties enclose Necks?”—“Do Hands Hurt Walking-sticks?”—“Does Burning Destroy Firewood?”—“Is Cleanliness Good for Soap?”—“Can Cricket Really Improve Cricket-bats?”—“Shall We Take Brides with our Wedding Rings?” and a hundred others.

Not one of these questions differs at all in intellectual purport or in intellectual value from the question which I have quoted from the purple poster, or from any of the typical questions asked by half of the earnest economists of our times. All the questions they ask are of this character; they are all tinged with this same initial absurdity. They do not ask if the means is suited to the end; they all ask (with profound and penetrating scepticism) if the end is suited to the means. They do not ask whether the tail suits the dog. They all ask whether a dog is (by the highest artistic canons) the most ornamental appendage that can be put at the end of a tail. In short, instead of asking whether our modern arrangements, our streets, trades, bargains, laws, and concrete institutions are suited to the primal and permanent idea of a healthy human life, they never admit that healthy human life into the discussion at all, except suddenly and accidentally at odd moments; and then they only ask whether that healthy human life is suited to our streets and trades. Perfection may be attainable or unattainable as an end. It may or may not be possible to talk of imperfection as a means to perfection. But surely it passes toleration to talk of perfection as a means to imperfection. The New Jerusalem may be a reality. It may be a dream. But surely it is too outrageous to say that the New Jerusalem is a reality on the road to Birmingham.

… . .

This is the most enormous and at the same time the most secret of the modern tyrannies of materialism. In theory the thing ought to be simple enough. A really human human being would always put the spiritual things first. A walking and speaking statue of God finds himself at one particular moment employed as a shop assistant. He has in himself a power of terrible love, a promise of paternity, a thirst for some loyalty that shall unify life, and in the ordinary course of things he asks himself, “How far do the existing conditions of those assisting in shops fit in with my evident and epic destiny in the matter of love and marriage?” But here, as I have said, comes in the quiet and crushing power of modern materialism. It prevents him rising in rebellion, as he would otherwise do. By perpetually talking about environment and visible things, by perpetually talking about economics and physical necessity, painting and keeping repainted a perpetual picture of iron machinery and merciless engines, of rails of steel, and of towers of stone, modern materialism at last produces this tremendous impression in which the truth is stated upside down. At last the result is achieved. The man does not say as he ought to have said, “Should married men endure being modern shop assistants?” The man says, “Should shop assistants marry?” Triumph has completed the immense illusion of materialism. The slave does not say, “Are these chains worthy of me?” The slave says scientifically and contentedly, “Am I even worthy of these chains?”

XIV

Nel paese a rovescio

La settimana scorsa, in un’oziosa metafora, presi il ruzzolare degli alberi e la segreta energia del vento come tipici del mondo visibile che si muove sotto la violenza dell’invisibile. Presi questa metafora soltanto perché mi capitava di scrivere l’articolo in un bosco. Nondimeno, ora che ritorno a Fleet Street (che a me pare, lo confesso, assai migliore e più poetica di tutti i boschi selvaggi del mondo), sono stranamente ossessionato da questo paragone accidentale. Le figure della gente paiono una foresta e la loro anima un vento. Tutte le personalità umane che mi parlano o mi fanno cenno paiono avere questo carattere fantastico dell’orlo della foresta contro il cielo. Quell’uomo che mi parla, che cos’è se non un albero articolato? Quel conducente d’un furgone che agita le mani selvaggiamente verso di me per dirmi di togliermi di mezzo, che cos’è se non un fascio di rami mossi e ondeggianti da un vento spirituale, un oggetto silvestre che posso continuare a contemplare con calma? Quel poliziotto che alza la mano per avvertire tre omnibus del pericolo che corrono nell’incontrare la mia persona, che cos’è se non un arbusto scosso per un istante da quella raffica di legge umana che è cosa più forte dell’anarchia? A poco a poco questa impressione dei boschi svanisce. Ma questo contrasto in bianco e nero tra il visibile e l’invisibile, questo profondo senso che l’unica credenza essenziale è la credenza nell’invisibile contro il visibile, mi è d’un tratto e clamorosamente riportato alla mente. Proprio nel momento in cui Fleet Street s’è fatta più familiare (cioè più sconcertante e luminosa), il mio occhio coglie un manifesto d’un vivo violetto, su cui vedo scritte a grandi lettere nere queste notevoli parole: «I commessi di negozio dovrebbero sposarsi?»

… . .

Quando vidi quelle parole ogni cosa avrebbe potuto benissimo capovolgersi. Gli uomini di Fleet Street avrebbero potuto camminare sulle mani. La croce di San Paolo avrebbe potuto pendere nell’aria a rovescio. Poiché mi rendo conto d’esser davvero entrato in un paese a rovescio; sono entrato nel paese dove gli uomini credono davvero, definitivamente, che l’agitarsi degli alberi faccia il vento. Vale a dire, credono che le circostanze materiali, per quanto nere e contorte, siano più importanti delle realtà spirituali, per quanto potenti e pure. «I commessi di negozio dovrebbero sposarsi?» Sono perplesso al pensiero di che cosa alcune epoche e scuole della storia umana avrebbero fatto d’una simile domanda. Gli asceti dell’Oriente o d’alcuni periodi della Chiesa antica avrebbero pensato che la domanda significasse: «Non sono i commessi di negozio troppo santi, troppo d’un altro mondo, persino per sentire le emozioni dei sessi?» Ma suppongo che non sia questo che il manifesto purpureo intende. In alcune città pagane avrebbe potuto significare: «Si permetterà a schiavi tanto vili come i commessi di negozio persino di propagare la loro abietta stirpe?» Ma suppongo che non sia questo che il manifesto purpureo intendeva. Dobbiamo affrontare, temo, la piena follia di ciò che davvero significa. Significa davvero che una parte del genere umano sta chiedendo se le relazioni primarie dei due sessi umani siano particolarmente buone per i negozi moderni. Il genere umano sta chiedendo se Adamo ed Eva siano del tutto adatti a Marshall e Snelgrove. Se questo non è a rovescio, non riesco a immaginare che cosa lo sarebbe. Chiediamo se l’istituzione universale migliorerà la nostra (voglia Iddio) temporanea istituzione. Eppure ho conosciuto molte domande siffatte. Per esempio, ho conosciuto un uomo che chiedeva sul serio: «La Democrazia aiuta l’Impero?» Il che è come dire: «L’arte è favorevole agli affreschi?»

Dico che molte domande siffatte vengono poste. Ma se mai il mondo ne rimanesse a corto, posso suggerire un gran numero di domande esattamente dello stesso genere, fondate esattamente sullo stesso principio.

«I piedi migliorano gli stivali?» — «Il pane è meglio quando è mangiato?» — «I cappelli dovrebbero avere teste dentro?» — «La gente rovina una città?» — «I muri rovinano le carte da parati?» — «Le cravatte dovrebbero cingere i colli?» — «Le mani fanno male ai bastoni da passeggio?» — «Il bruciare distrugge la legna da ardere?» — «La pulizia fa bene al sapone?» — «Il cricket può davvero migliorare le mazze da cricket?» — «Prenderemo spose con le nostre fedi nuziali?» e cento altre.

Nessuna di queste domande differisce affatto per portata intellettuale o valore intellettuale dalla domanda che io ho citato dal manifesto purpureo, o da una qualsiasi delle tipiche domande poste da metà degli zelanti economisti dei nostri tempi. Tutte le domande che pongono sono di questo carattere; sono tutte tinte di questa medesima iniziale assurdità. Non chiedono se il mezzo sia adatto al fine; chiedono tutte (con profondo e penetrante scetticismo) se il fine sia adatto al mezzo. Non chiedono se la coda si addica al cane. Chiedono tutte se un cane sia (secondo i più alti canoni artistici) l’appendice più ornamentale che si possa mettere all’estremità d’una coda. In breve, invece di chiedere se le nostre disposizioni moderne, le nostre strade, i commerci, gli affari, le leggi e le istituzioni concrete siano adatti all’idea primordiale e permanente d’una sana vita umana, non ammettono affatto quella sana vita umana nella discussione, se non d’un tratto e per caso in momenti sporadici; e allora chiedono soltanto se quella sana vita umana sia adatta alle nostre strade e ai nostri commerci. La perfezione può essere raggiungibile o irraggiungibile come fine. Può essere o non essere possibile parlare dell’imperfezione come d’un mezzo verso la perfezione. Ma di certo supera ogni tolleranza parlare della perfezione come d’un mezzo verso l’imperfezione. La Nuova Gerusalemme può essere una realtà. Può essere un sogno. Ma di certo è troppo oltraggioso dire che la Nuova Gerusalemme è una realtà sulla strada per Birmingham.

… . .

Questa è la più enorme e al tempo stesso la più segreta delle moderne tirannie del materialismo. In teoria la cosa dovrebbe essere abbastanza semplice. Un essere umano davvero umano metterebbe sempre le cose spirituali al primo posto. Una statua di Dio che cammina e parla si ritrova a un particolare momento impiegata come commesso di negozio. Egli ha in sé una potenza di terribile amore, una promessa di paternità, una sete d’una qualche fedeltà che unifichi la vita, e nell’ordinario corso delle cose si chiede: «Fino a che punto le condizioni esistenti di coloro che assistono nei negozi s’accordano col mio evidente ed epico destino in materia d’amore e di matrimonio?» Ma qui, come ho detto, subentra la potenza quieta e schiacciante del materialismo moderno. Gli impedisce d’insorgere in ribellione, come altrimenti farebbe. Parlando perpetuamente d’ambiente e di cose visibili, parlando perpetuamente d’economia e di necessità fisica, dipingendo e ridipingendo un perpetuo quadro di ferrei macchinari e motori spietati, di rotaie d’acciaio, e di torri di pietra, il materialismo moderno produce infine questa tremenda impressione in cui la verità è enunciata a rovescio. Infine il risultato è raggiunto. L’uomo non dice come avrebbe dovuto dire: «Dovrebbero gli uomini sposati sopportare d’essere moderni commessi di negozio?» L’uomo dice: «I commessi di negozio dovrebbero sposarsi?» Il trionfo ha completato l’immensa illusione del materialismo. Lo schiavo non dice: «Sono queste catene degne di me?» Lo schiavo dice scientificamente e con soddisfazione: «Sono io persino degno di queste catene

XV

What I Found in My Pocket

Once when I was very young I met one of those men who have made the Empire what it is—a man in an astracan coat, with an astracan moustache—a tight, black, curly moustache. Whether he put on the moustache with the coat or whether his Napoleonic will enabled him not only to grow a moustache in the usual place, but also to grow little moustaches all over his clothes, I do not know. I only remember that he said to me the following words: “A man can’t get on nowadays by hanging about with his hands in his pockets.” I made reply with the quite obvious flippancy that perhaps a man got on by having his hands in other people’s pockets; whereupon he began to argue about Moral Evolution, so I suppose what I said had some truth in it. But the incident now comes back to me, and connects itself with another incident—if you can call it an incident— which happened to me only the other day.

I have only once in my life picked a pocket, and then (perhaps through some absent-mindedness) I picked my own. My act can really with some reason be so described. For in taking things out of my own pocket I had at least one of the more tense and quivering emotions of the thief; I had a complete ignorance and a profound curiosity as to what I should find there. Perhaps it would be the exaggeration of eulogy to call me a tidy person. But I can always pretty satisfactorily account for all my possessions. I can always tell where they are, and what I have done with them, so long as I can keep them out of my pockets. If once anything slips into those unknown abysses, I wave it a sad Virgilian farewell. I suppose that the things that I have dropped into my pockets are still there; the same presumption applies to the things that I have dropped into the sea. But I regard the riches stored in both these bottomless chasms with the same reverent ignorance. They tell us that on the last day the sea will give up its dead; and I suppose that on the same occasion long strings of extraordinary things will come running out of my pockets. But I have quite forgotten what any of them are; and there is really nothing (excepting the money) that I shall be at all surprised at finding among them.

… . .

Such at least has hitherto been my state of innocence. I here only wish briefly to recall the special, extraordinary, and hitherto unprecedented circumstances which led me in cold blood, and being of sound mind, to turn out my pockets. I was locked up in a third-class carriage for a rather long journey. The time was towards evening, but it might have been anything, for everything resembling earth or sky or light or shade was painted out as if with a great wet brush by an unshifting sheet of quite colourless rain. I had no books or newspapers. I had not even a pencil and a scrap of paper with which to write a religious epic. There were no advertisements on the walls of the carriage, otherwise I could have plunged into the study, for any collection of printed words is quite enough to suggest infinite complexities of mental ingenuity. When I find myself opposite the words “Sunlight Soap” I can exhaust all the aspects of Sun Worship, Apollo, and Summer poetry before I go on to the less congenial subject of soap. But there was no printed word or picture anywhere; there was nothing but blank wood inside the carriage and blank wet without. Now I deny most energetically that anything is, or can be, uninteresting. So I stared at the joints of the walls and seats, and began thinking hard on the fascinating subject of wood. Just as I had begun to realise why, perhaps, it was that Christ was a carpenter, rather than a bricklayer, or a baker, or anything else, I suddenly started upright, and remembered my pockets. I was carrying about with me an unknown treasury. I had a British Museum and a South Kensington collection of unknown curios hung all over me in different places. I began to take the things out.

… . .

The first thing I came upon consisted of piles and heaps of Battersea tram tickets. There were enough to equip a paper chase. They shook down in showers like confetti. Primarily, of course, they touched my patriotic emotions, and brought tears to my eyes; also they provided me with the printed matter I required, for I found on the back of them some short but striking little scientific essays about some kind of pill. Comparatively speaking, in my then destitution, those tickets might be regarded as a small but well-chosen scientific library. Should my railway journey continue (which seemed likely at the time) for a few months longer, I could imagine myself throwing myself into the controversial aspects of the pill, composing replies and rejoinders pro and con upon the data furnished to me. But after all it was the symbolic quality of the tickets that moved me most. For as certainly as the cross of St. George means English patriotism, those scraps of paper meant all that municipal patriotism which is now, perhaps, the greatest hope of England.

The next thing that I took out was a pocket-knife. A pocket-knife, I need hardly say, would require a thick book full of moral meditations all to itself. A knife typifies one of the most primary of those practical origins upon which as upon low, thick pillows all our human civilisation reposes. Metals, the mystery of the thing called iron and of the thing called steel, led me off half-dazed into a kind of dream. I saw into the intrails of dim, damp wood, where the first man among all the common stones found the strange stone. I saw a vague and violent battle, in which stone axes broke and stone knives were splintered against something shining and new in the hand of one desperate man. I heard all the hammers on all the anvils of the earth. I saw all the swords of Feudal and all the weals of Industrial war. For the knife is only a short sword; and the pocket-knife is a secret sword. I opened it and looked at that brilliant and terrible tongue which we call a blade; and I thought that perhaps it was the symbol of the oldest of the needs of man. The next moment I knew that I was wrong; for the thing that came next out of my pocket was a box of matches. Then I saw fire, which is stronger even than steel, the old, fierce female thing, the thing we all love, but dare not touch.

The next thing I found was a piece of chalk; and I saw in it all the art and all the frescoes of the world. The next was a coin of a very modest value; and I saw in it not only the image and superscription of our own Caesar, but all government and order since the world began. But I have not space to say what were the items in the long and splendid procession of poetical symbols that came pouring out. I cannot tell you all the things that were in my pocket. I can tell you one thing, however, that I could not find in my pocket. I allude to my railway ticket.

XV

Ciò che trovai in tasca

Una volta, quand’ero molto giovane, incontrai uno di quegli uomini che hanno fatto l’Impero ciò che è — un uomo in cappotto d’astrakan, con baffi d’astrakan — baffi stretti, neri, ricciuti. Se s’infilasse i baffi insieme al cappotto o se la sua volontà napoleonica gli consentisse non solo di farsi crescere i baffi al posto consueto, ma anche di farsi crescere baffetti su tutti i vestiti, non lo so. Ricordo soltanto che mi disse le seguenti parole: «Un uomo non può farsi strada oggigiorno bighellonando con le mani in tasca». Ribattei con la del tutto ovvia frivolezza che forse un uomo si faceva strada tenendo le mani nelle tasche altrui; al che egli cominciò a discutere di Evoluzione Morale, sicché suppongo che ciò che dissi avesse qualche verità. Ma l’episodio ora mi ritorna alla mente, e si collega a un altro episodio — se lo si può chiamare episodio — che mi accadde proprio l’altro giorno.

Ho borseggiato una sola volta in vita mia, e allora (forse per qualche distrazione) borseggiai me stesso. Il mio atto può davvero con qualche ragione esser così descritto. Poiché nel prendere le cose dalla mia stessa tasca provai almeno una delle più tese e frementi emozioni del ladro; ebbi una completa ignoranza e una profonda curiosità su ciò che vi avrei trovato. Forse sarebbe l’esagerazione dell’elogio dirmi una persona ordinata. Ma so sempre rendere abbastanza soddisfacentemente conto di tutti i miei averi. So sempre dire dove si trovino, e che cosa ne abbia fatto, purché sappia tenerli fuori dalle tasche. Se una volta qualcosa scivola in quegli ignoti abissi, gli rivolgo un mesto addio virgiliano. Suppongo che le cose che ho lasciato cadere nelle tasche siano ancora là; la stessa presunzione s’applica alle cose che ho lasciato cadere in mare. Ma considero le ricchezze accumulate in entrambi questi abissi senza fondo con la stessa reverente ignoranza. Ci dicono che nell’ultimo giorno il mare renderà i suoi morti; e suppongo che nella stessa occasione lunghe file di cose straordinarie verranno correndo fuori dalle mie tasche. Ma ho del tutto dimenticato che cosa siano; e non c’è davvero nulla (eccetto il denaro) che mi sorprenderà affatto di trovare tra esse.

… . .

Tale, almeno, è stato finora il mio stato d’innocenza. Qui desidero soltanto rievocare brevemente le speciali, straordinarie e finora inaudite circostanze che mi indussero a sangue freddo, e in sano intelletto, a rovesciarmi le tasche. Ero rinchiuso in un vagone di terza classe per un viaggio piuttosto lungo. L’ora volgeva alla sera, ma avrebbe potuto essere qualsiasi ora, poiché tutto ciò che somigliava a terra o cielo o luce o ombra era cancellato come da un gran pennello bagnato da un’immota cortina di pioggia del tutto incolore. Non avevo libri né giornali. Non avevo nemmeno una matita e un foglietto di carta con cui scrivere un epos religioso. Non c’erano avvisi pubblicitari sulle pareti del vagone, altrimenti mi sarei potuto tuffare nello studio, poiché qualsiasi raccolta di parole stampate è del tutto sufficiente a suggerire infinite complessità d’ingegnosità mentale. Quando mi trovo di fronte alle parole «Sapone Sunlight» posso esaurire tutti gli aspetti del Culto del Sole, Apollo, e la poesia dell’Estate prima di passare al meno congeniale argomento del sapone. Ma non c’era parola stampata né immagine da nessuna parte; non c’era nulla se non nudo legno dentro il vagone e nuda pioggia fuori. Ora nego con la massima energia che qualsiasi cosa sia, o possa essere, priva d’interesse. Così fissai le giunture delle pareti e dei sedili, e cominciai a pensare intensamente all’affascinante argomento del legno. Proprio mentre avevo cominciato a capire perché, forse, fosse che Cristo era un falegname, piuttosto che un muratore, o un fornaio, o qualsiasi altra cosa, d’un tratto mi drizzai in piedi, e ricordai le mie tasche. Portavo con me un ignoto tesoro. Avevo un British Museum e una collezione di South Kensington di ignoti curiosità appesi tutt’intorno a me in diversi punti. Cominciai a tirar fuori le cose.

… . .

La prima cosa in cui m’imbattei consisteva in mucchi e cataste di biglietti del tram di Battersea. Ce n’erano abbastanza da equipaggiare una caccia alla volpe cartacea. Cadevano giù a rovesci come coriandoli. In primo luogo, s’intende, essi toccarono le mie emozioni patriottiche, e mi portarono le lacrime agli occhi; inoltre mi fornirono il materiale stampato che mi occorreva, poiché trovai sul loro retro alcuni brevi ma incisivi saggietti scientifici su una certa specie di pillola. Comparativamente parlando, nella mia indigenza d’allora, quei biglietti si potevano considerare una piccola ma ben scelta biblioteca scientifica. Se il mio viaggio ferroviario fosse continuato (il che allora pareva probabile) all’epoca per qualche mese ancora, potevo immaginarmi lanciato negli aspetti controversi della pillola, componendo repliche e controrepliche pro e contro sui dati fornitimi. Ma dopo tutto era la qualità simbolica dei biglietti a commuovermi di più. Poiché con la stessa certezza con cui la croce di San Giorgio significa patriottismo inglese, quei brandelli di carta significavano tutto quel patriottismo municipale che è ora, forse, la più grande speranza d’Inghilterra.

La cosa seguente che tirai fuori fu un temperino. Un temperino, non c’è bisogno che lo dica, richiederebbe tutto per sé un grosso libro pieno di meditazioni morali. Un coltello tipizza una delle più primarie di quelle pratiche origini sulle quali, come su bassi, spessi cuscini, riposa tutta la nostra civiltà umana. I metalli, il mistero della cosa detta ferro e della cosa detta acciaio, mi condussero via mezzo intontito in una sorta di sogno. Vidi dentro le viscere d’un legno fioco e umido, dove il primo uomo fra tutte le comuni pietre trovò la strana pietra. Vidi una vaga e violenta battaglia, in cui asce di pietra si spezzavano e coltelli di pietra si scheggiavano contro qualcosa di lucente e nuovo nella mano d’un uomo disperato. Udii tutti i martelli su tutte le incudini della terra. Vidi tutte le spade della guerra feudale e tutte le piaghe della guerra industriale. Poiché il coltello è solo una corta spada; e il temperino è una spada segreta. Lo aprii e guardai quella brillante e terribile lingua che chiamiamo lama; e pensai che forse essa era il simbolo del più antico dei bisogni dell’uomo. Un momento dopo seppi che avevo torto; poiché la cosa che venne fuori dopo dalla mia tasca fu una scatola di fiammiferi. Allora vidi il fuoco, che è più forte persino dell’acciaio, l’antica, feroce cosa femminile, la cosa che tutti amiamo, ma che non osiamo toccare.

La cosa seguente che trovai fu un pezzo di gesso; e vidi in esso tutta l’arte e tutti gli affreschi del mondo. La seguente fu una moneta di modestissimo valore; e vidi in essa non solo l’immagine e la soprascritta del nostro Cesare, ma tutto il governo e l’ordine dall’inizio del mondo. Ma non ho spazio per dire quali fossero gli elementi nella lunga e splendida processione di simboli poetici che venne riversandosi fuori. Non posso dirvi tutte le cose che erano nella mia tasca. Posso dirvi una cosa, tuttavia, che non riuscii a trovare in tasca. Alludo al mio biglietto ferroviario.

XVI

The Dragon’s Grandmother

I met a man the other day who did not believe in fairy tales. I do not mean that he did not believe in the incidents narrated in them—that he did not believe that a pumpkin could turn into a coach. He did, indeed, entertain this curious disbelief. And, like all the other people I have ever met who entertained it, he was wholly unable to give me an intelligent reason for it. He tried the laws of nature, but he soon dropped that. Then he said that pumpkins were unalterable in ordinary experience, and that we all reckoned on their infinitely protracted pumpkinity. But I pointed out to him that this was not an attitude we adopt specially towards impossible marvels, but simply the attitude we adopt towards all unusual occurrences. If we were certain of miracles we should not count on them. Things that happen very seldom we all leave out of our calculations, whether they are miraculous or not. I do not expect a glass of water to be turned into wine; but neither do I expect a glass of water to be poisoned with prussic acid. I do not in ordinary business relations act on the assumption that the editor is a fairy; but neither do I act on the assumption that he is a Russian spy, or the lost heir of the Holy Roman Empire. What we assume in action is not that the natural order is unalterable, but simply that it is much safer to bet on uncommon incidents than on common ones. This does not touch the credibility of any attested tale about a Russian spy or a pumpkin turned into a coach. If I had seen a pumpkin turned into a Panhard motor-car with my own eyes that would not make me any more inclined to assume that the same thing would happen again. I should not invest largely in pumpkins with an eye to the motor trade. Cinderella got a ball dress from the fairy; but I do not suppose that she looked after her own clothes any the less after it.

But the view that fairy tales cannot really have happened, though crazy, is common. The man I speak of disbelieved in fairy tales in an even more amazing and perverted sense. He actually thought that fairy tales ought not to be told to children. That is (like a belief in slavery or annexation) one of those intellectual errors which lie very near to ordinary mortal sins. There are some refusals which, though they may be done what is called conscientiously, yet carry so much of their whole horror in the very act of them, that a man must in doing them not only harden but slightly corrupt his heart. One of them was the refusal of milk to young mothers when their husbands were in the field against us. Another is the refusal of fairy tales to children.

… . .

The man had come to see me in connection with some silly society of which I am an enthusiastic member; he was a fresh-coloured, short-sighted young man, like a stray curate who was too helpless even to find his way to the Church of England. He had a curious green necktie and a very long neck; I am always meeting idealists with very long necks. Perhaps it is that their eternal aspiration slowly lifts their heads nearer and nearer to the stars. Or perhaps it has something to do with the fact that so many of them are vegetarians: perhaps they are slowly evolving the neck of the giraffe so that they can eat all the tops of the trees in Kensington Gardens. These things are in every sense above me. Such, anyhow, was the young man who did not believe in fairy tales; and by a curious coincidence he entered the room when I had just finished looking through a pile of contemporary fiction, and had begun to read “Grimm’s Fairy tales” as a natural consequence.

The modern novels stood before me, however, in a stack; and you can imagine their titles for yourself. There was “Suburban Sue: A Tale of Psychology,” and also “Psychological Sue: A Tale of Suburbia”; there was “Trixy: A Temperament,” and “Man-Hate: A Monochrome,” and all those nice things. I read them with real interest, but, curiously enough, I grew tired of them at last, and when I saw “Grimm’s Fairy Tales” lying accidentally on the table, I gave a cry of indecent joy. Here at least, here at last, one could find a little common sense. I opened the book, and my eyes fell on these splendid and satisfying words, “The Dragon’s Grandmother.” That at least was reasonable; that at least was true. “The Dragon’s Grandmother!” While I was rolling this first touch of ordinary human reality upon my tongue, I looked up suddenly and saw this monster with a green tie standing in the doorway.

… . .

I listened to what he said about the society politely enough, I hope; but when he incidentally mentioned that he did not believe in fairy tales, I broke out beyond control. “Man,” I said, “who are you that you should not believe in fairy tales? It is much easier to believe in Blue Beard than to believe in you. A blue beard is a misfortune; but there are green ties which are sins. It is far easier to believe in a million fairy tales than to believe in one man who does not like fairy tales. I would rather kiss Grimm instead of a Bible and swear to all his stories as if they were thirty-nine articles than say seriously and out of my heart that there can be such a man as you; that you are not some temptation of the devil or some delusion from the void. Look at these plain, homely, practical words. ‘The Dragon’s Grandmother,’ that is all right; that is rational almost to the verge of rationalism. If there was a dragon, he had a grandmother. But you—you had no grandmother! If you had known one, she would have taught you to love fairy tales. You had no father, you had no mother; no natural causes can explain you. You cannot be. I believe many things which I have not seen; but of such things as you it may be said, ‘Blessed is he that has seen and yet has disbelieved.’”

… . .

It seemed to me that he did not follow me with sufficient delicacy, so I moderated my tone. “Can you not see,” I said, “that fairy tales in their essence are quite solid and straightforward; but that this everlasting fiction about modern life is in its nature essentially incredible? Folk-lore means that the soul is sane, but that the universe is wild and full of marvels. Realism means that the world is dull and full of routine, but that the soul is sick and screaming. The problem of the fairy tale is— what will a healthy man do with a fantastic world? The problem of the modern novel is—what will a madman do with a dull world? In the fairy tales the cosmos goes mad; but the hero does not go mad. In the modern novels the hero is mad before the book begins, and suffers from the harsh steadiness and cruel sanity of the cosmos. In the excellent tale of ‘The Dragon’s Grandmother,’ in all the other tales of Grimm, it is assumed that the young man setting out on his travels will have all substantial truths in him; that he will be brave, full of faith, reasonable, that he will respect his parents, keep his word, rescue one kind of people, defy another kind, ‘parcere subjectis et debellare,’ etc. Then, having assumed this centre of sanity, the writer entertains himself by fancying what would happen if the whole world went mad all round it, if the sun turned green and the moon blue, if horses had six legs and giants had two heads. But your modern literature takes insanity as its centre. Therefore, it loses the interest even of insanity. A lunatic is not startling to himself, because he is quite serious; that is what makes him a lunatic. A man who thinks he is a piece of glass is to himself as dull as a piece of glass. A man who thinks he is a chicken is to himself as common as a chicken. It is only sanity that can see even a wild poetry in insanity. Therefore, these wise old tales made the hero ordinary and the tale extraordinary. But you have made the hero extraordinary and the tale ordinary—so ordinary—oh, so very ordinary.”

I saw him still gazing at me fixedly. Some nerve snapped in me under the hypnotic stare. I leapt to my feet and cried, “In the name of God and Democracy and the Dragon’s grandmother—in the name of all good things—I charge you to avaunt and haunt this house no more.” Whether or no it was the result of the exorcism, there is no doubt that he definitely went away.

XVI

La nonna del Drago

L’altro giorno incontrai un uomo che non credeva nelle fiabe. Non intendo dire che non credesse negli episodi in esse narrati — che non credesse che una zucca potesse trasformarsi in una carrozza. Sì, egli nutriva davvero questa curiosa incredulità. E, come tutte le altre persone che abbia mai incontrato che la nutrivano, era del tutto incapace di darmene una ragione intelligente. Provò con le leggi della natura, ma presto vi rinunciò. Poi disse che le zucche erano immutabili nell’esperienza ordinaria, e che tutti facevamo affidamento sulla loro zuccosità infinitamente protratta. Ma gli feci notare che questo non era un atteggiamento che adottiamo specialmente verso i prodigi impossibili, ma semplicemente l’atteggiamento che adottiamo verso tutti gli avvenimenti insoliti. Se fossimo certi dei miracoli non ci faremmo affidamento. Le cose che accadono assai di rado le lasciamo tutti fuori dai nostri calcoli, siano esse miracolose o no. Non m’aspetto che un bicchiere d’acqua si trasformi in vino; ma nemmeno m’aspetto che un bicchiere d’acqua sia avvelenato con acido prussico. Non agisco, nelle ordinarie relazioni d’affari, partendo dal presupposto che il direttore sia una fata; ma nemmeno agisco partendo dal presupposto che sia una spia russa, o l’erede perduto del Sacro Romano Impero. Ciò che presupponiamo nell’azione non è che l’ordine naturale sia immutabile, ma semplicemente che è molto più sicuro scommettere sugli avvenimenti non comuni che su quelli comuni. Ciò non intacca la credibilità d’alcun racconto attestato su una spia russa o su una zucca mutata in carrozza. Se avessi visto una zucca mutarsi in un’automobile Panhard coi miei stessi occhi, ciò non mi indurrebbe affatto di più a presumere che la stessa cosa accadrebbe di nuovo. Non dovrei investire largamente in zucche con un occhio al commercio d’automobili. Cenerentola ottenne dalla fata un abito da ballo; ma non suppongo che badasse ai propri vestiti tanto meno dopo di ciò.

Ma l’opinione che le fiabe non possano essere realmente accadute, per quanto folle, è comune. L’uomo di cui parlo non credeva nelle fiabe in un senso ancora più sbalorditivo e perverso. Egli pensava davvero che le fiabe non dovessero esser raccontate ai bambini. Questo è (come una credenza nella schiavitù o nell’annessione) uno di quegli errori intellettuali che giacciono assai vicino agli ordinari peccati mortali. Vi sono certi rifiuti che, per quanto possano esser compiuti in ciò che si dice coscienziosamente, recano tuttavia tanto del loro intero orrore nell’atto stesso, che un uomo, nel compierli, deve non solo indurire ma anche lievemente corrompere il proprio cuore. Uno di essi fu il rifiuto del latte alle giovani madri quando i loro mariti erano in campo contro di noi. Un altro è il rifiuto delle fiabe ai bambini.

… . .

L’uomo era venuto a trovarmi in relazione a qualche sciocca società di cui sono entusiasta membro; era un giovanotto dal colorito fresco, miope, come un curato smarrito troppo incapace persino di trovar la via per la Chiesa d’Inghilterra. Aveva una curiosa cravatta verde e un collo lunghissimo; incontro sempre idealisti dal collo lunghissimo. Forse è che la loro eterna aspirazione leva lentamente le loro teste sempre più vicine alle stelle. O forse ha qualcosa a che vedere col fatto che tanti di loro sono vegetariani: forse stanno lentamente evolvendo il collo della giraffa così da poter mangiare tutte le cime degli alberi ai Kensington Gardens. Queste cose sono in ogni senso al di sopra di me. Tale, comunque, era il giovanotto che non credeva nelle fiabe; e per una curiosa coincidenza egli entrò nella stanza proprio quand’io avevo appena finito di scorrere una pila di narrativa contemporanea, e avevo cominciato a leggere le «Fiabe di Grimm» come naturale conseguenza.

I romanzi moderni mi stavano davanti, tuttavia, in cataste; e potete immaginare da voi i loro titoli. C’erano «La Sue di periferia: un racconto di psicologia», e anche «La Sue psicologica: un racconto di periferia»; c’erano «Trixy: un temperamento», e «Odio-per-l’uomo: una monocromia», e tutte quelle belle cose. Le lessi con vero interesse, ma, per quanto strano, alla fine me ne stancai, e quando vidi le «Fiabe di Grimm» posate per caso sul tavolo, lanciai un grido d’indecente gioia. Qui almeno, qui finalmente, si poteva trovare un po’ di buon senso. Aprii il libro, e i miei occhi caddero su queste splendide e appaganti parole: «La nonna del Drago». Quello almeno era ragionevole; quello almeno era vero. «La nonna del Drago!» Mentre rigiravo questo primo assaggio d’ordinaria realtà umana sulla lingua, alzai d’un tratto lo sguardo e vidi questo mostro con una cravatta verde in piedi sulla soglia.

… . .

Ascoltai ciò che egli disse della società con sufficiente cortesia, lo spero; ma quando incidentalmente accennò che non credeva nelle fiabe, proruppi senza più controllo. «Uomo», dissi, «chi siete voi per non dover credere nelle fiabe? È assai più facile credere a Barbablù che credere a voi. Una barba blu è una disgrazia; ma vi sono cravatte verdi che sono peccati. È di gran lunga più facile credere a un milione di fiabe che credere a un solo uomo cui non piacciono le fiabe. Preferirei baciare Grimm invece d’una Bibbia e giurare su tutte le sue storie come se fossero i trentanove articoli, piuttosto che dire seriamente e dal fondo del cuore che possa esistere un uomo come voi; che voi non siate qualche tentazione del diavolo o qualche illusione del vuoto. Guardate queste parole semplici, casalinghe, pratiche. “La nonna del Drago”, va tutto bene; è razionale quasi fino all’orlo del razionalismo. Se c’era un drago, egli aveva una nonna. Ma voi — voi non avevate nonna! Se ne aveste conosciuta una, essa vi avrebbe insegnato ad amare le fiabe. Non avevate padre, non avevate madre; nessuna causa naturale può spiegarvi. Voi non potete esistere. Io credo a molte cose che non ho visto; ma di cose come voi si può dire: “Beato colui che ha visto e tuttavia ha dubitato”».

… . .

Mi parve che egli non mi seguisse con sufficiente delicatezza, sicché moderai il tono. «Non vedete», dissi, «che le fiabe nella loro essenza sono del tutto solide e schiette; ma che questa eterna finzione sulla vita moderna è nella sua natura essenzialmente incredibile? Il folclore significa che l’anima è sana, ma che l’universo è selvaggio e pieno di prodigi. Il realismo significa che il mondo è insulso e pieno di routine, ma che l’anima è malata e urlante. Il problema della fiaba è — che cosa farà un uomo sano d’un mondo fantastico? Il problema del romanzo moderno è — che cosa farà un pazzo d’un mondo insulso? Nelle fiabe il cosmo impazzisce; ma l’eroe non impazzisce. Nei romanzi moderni l’eroe è pazzo prima ancora che il libro cominci, e soffre della dura fermezza e crudele sanità di mente del cosmo. Nell’eccellente racconto de “La nonna del Drago”, in tutti gli altri racconti di Grimm, si presuppone che il giovane che parte per i suoi viaggi avrà in sé tutte le verità sostanziali; che sarà coraggioso, pieno di fede, ragionevole, che rispetterà i suoi genitori, manterrà la parola, soccorrerà un tipo di gente, sfiderà un altro tipo, “parcere subjectis et debellare”, ecc. Poi, avendo presupposto questo centro di sanità di mente, lo scrittore si diletta immaginando che cosa accadrebbe se il mondo intero impazzisse tutt’intorno, se il sole diventasse verde e la luna blu, se i cavalli avessero sei zampe e i giganti due teste. Ma la vostra letteratura moderna prende la follia come suo centro. Perciò, perde l’interesse persino della follia. Un pazzo non è sorprendente a sé stesso, perché è del tutto serio; è questo che lo rende pazzo. Un uomo che pensa d’essere un pezzo di vetro è a sé stesso insulso come un pezzo di vetro. Un uomo che pensa d’essere un pollo è a sé stesso comune come un pollo. È soltanto la sanità di mente che può vedere persino una selvaggia poesia nella follia. Perciò, questi saggi vecchi racconti resero l’eroe ordinario e il racconto straordinario. Ma voi avete reso l’eroe straordinario e il racconto ordinario — così ordinario — oh, così tanto ordinario».

Lo vidi che ancora mi fissava fisso. Qualche nervo mi si spezzò dentro sotto lo sguardo ipnotico. Balzai in piedi e gridai: «Nel nome di Dio e della Democrazia e della nonna del Drago — nel nome di tutte le cose buone — t’ingiungo di vàttene e di non infestare più questa casa». Che fosse o no il risultato dell’esorcismo, non v’è alcun dubbio che egli se ne andò davvero.

XVII

The Red Angel

I find that there really are human beings who think fairy tales bad for children. I do not speak of the man in the green tie, for him I can never count truly human. But a lady has written me an earnest letter saying that fairy tales ought not to be taught to children even if they are true. She says that it is cruel to tell children fairy tales, because it frightens them. You might just as well say that it is cruel to give girls sentimental novels because it makes them cry. All this kind of talk is based on that complete forgetting of what a child is like which has been the firm foundation of so many educational schemes. If you keep bogies and goblins away from children they would make them up for themselves. One small child in the dark can invent more hells than Swedenborg. One small child can imagine monsters too big and black to get into any picture, and give them names too unearthly and cacophonous to have occurred in the cries of any lunatic. The child, to begin with, commonly likes horrors, and he continues to indulge in them even when he does not like them. There is just as much difficulty in saying exactly where pure pain begins in his case, as there is in ours when we walk of our own free will into the torture-chamber of a great tragedy. The fear does not come from fairy tales; the fear comes from the universe of the soul.

… . .

The timidity of the child or the savage is entirely reasonable; they are alarmed at this world, because this world is a very alarming place. They dislike being alone because it is verily and indeed an awful idea to be alone. Barbarians fear the unknown for the same reason that Agnostics worship it— because it is a fact. Fairy tales, then, are not responsible for producing in children fear, or any of the shapes of fear; fairy tales do not give the child the idea of the evil or the ugly; that is in the child already, because it is in the world already. Fairy tales do not give the child his first idea of bogey. What fairy tales give the child is his first clear idea of the possible defeat of bogey. The baby has known the dragon intimately ever since he had an imagination. What the fairy tale provides for him is a St. George to kill the dragon.

Exactly what the fairy tale does is this: it accustoms him for a series of clear pictures to the idea that these limitless terrors had a limit, that these shapeless enemies have enemies in the knights of God, that there is something in the universe more mystical than darkness, and stronger than strong fear. When I was a child I have stared at the darkness until the whole black bulk of it turned into one negro giant taller than heaven. If there was one star in the sky it only made him a Cyclops. But fairy tales restored my mental health, for next day I read an authentic account of how a negro giant with one eye, of quite equal dimensions, had been baffled by a little boy like myself (of similar inexperience and even lower social status) by means of a sword, some bad riddles, and a brave heart. Sometimes the sea at night seemed as dreadful as any dragon. But then I was acquainted with many youngest sons and little sailors to whom a dragon or two was as simple as the sea.

Take the most horrible of Grimm’s tales in incident and imagery, the excellent tale of the “Boy who Could not Shudder,” and you will see what I mean. There are some living shocks in that tale. I remember specially a man’s legs which fell down the chimney by themselves and walked about the room, until they were rejoined by the severed head and body which fell down the chimney after them. That is very good. But the point of the story and the point of the reader’s feelings is not that these things are frightening, but the far more striking fact that the hero was not frightened at them. The most fearful of all these fearful wonders was his own absence of fear. He slapped the bogies on the back and asked the devils to drink wine with him; many a time in my youth, when stifled with some modern morbidity, I have prayed for a double portion of his spirit. If you have not read the end of his story, go and read it; it is the wisest thing in the world. The hero was at last taught to shudder by taking a wife, who threw a pail of cold water over him. In that one sentence there is more of the real meaning of marriage than in all the books about sex that cover Europe and America.

… . .

At the four corners of a child’s bed stand Perseus and Roland, Sigurd and St. George. If you withdraw the guard of heroes you are not making him rational; you are only leaving him to fight the devils alone. For the devils, alas, we have always believed in. The hopeful element in the universe has in modern times continually been denied and reasserted; but the hopeless element has never for a moment been denied. As I told “H. N. B.” (whom I pause to wish a Happy Christmas in its most superstitious sense), the one thing modern people really do believe in is damnation. The greatest of purely modern poets summed up the really modern attitude in that fine Agnostic line—

“There may be Heaven; there must be Hell.”

The gloomy view of the universe has been a continuous tradition; and the new types of spiritual investigation or conjecture all begin by being gloomy. A little while ago men believed in no spirits. Now they are beginning rather slowly to believe in rather slow spirits.

… . .

Some people objected to spiritualism, table rappings, and such things, because they were undignified, because the ghosts cracked jokes or waltzed with dinner-tables. I do not share this objection in the least. I wish the spirits were more farcical than they are. That they should make more jokes and better ones, would be my suggestion. For almost all the spiritualism of our time, in so far as it is new, is solemn and sad. Some Pagan gods were lawless, and some Christian saints were a little too serious; but the spirits of modern spiritualism are both lawless and serious—a disgusting combination. The specially contemporary spirits are not only devils, they are blue devils. This is, first and last, the real value of Christmas; in so far as the mythology remains at all it is a kind of happy mythology. Personally, of course, I believe in Santa Claus; but it is the season of forgiveness, and I will forgive others for not doing so. But if there is anyone who does not comprehend the defect in our world which I am civilising, I should recommend him, for instance, to read a story by Mr. Henry James, called “The Turn of the Screw.” It is one of the most powerful things ever written, and it is one of the things about which I doubt most whether it ought ever to have been written at all. It describes two innocent children gradually growing at once omniscient and half-witted under the influence of the foul ghosts of a groom and a governess. As I say, I doubt whether Mr. Henry James ought to have published it (no, it is not indecent, do not buy it; it is a spiritual matter), but I think the question so doubtful that I will give that truly great man a chance. I will approve the thing as well as admire it if he will write another tale just as powerful about two children and Santa Claus. If he will not, or cannot, then the conclusion is clear; we can deal strongly with gloomy mystery, but not with happy mystery; we are not rationalists, but diabolists.

… . .

I have thought vaguely of all this staring at a great red fire that stands up in the room like a great red angel. But, perhaps, you have never heard of a red angel. But you have heard of a blue devil. That is exactly what I mean.

XVII

L’Angelo Rosso

Scopro che ci sono davvero esseri umani che pensano che le fiabe siano dannose per i bambini. Non parlo dell’uomo con la cravatta verde, perché non lo posso mai considerare veramente umano. Ma una signora mi ha scritto una lettera seria dicendo che le fiabe non dovrebbero essere insegnate ai bambini anche se sono vere. Dice che è crudele raccontare fiabe ai bambini, perché li spaventano. Potreste altrettanto bene dire che è crudele dare alle ragazze romanzi sentimentali perché le fanno piangere. Tutto questo genere di discorsi si basa su quel completo dimenticare di cosa sia fatto un bambino, che è stata la solida base di così tanti piani educativi. Se tenete lontani dai bambini i mostri e gli gnomi, se li inventeranno da soli. Un piccolo bambino al buio può inventare più inferni di Swedenborg. Un piccolo bambino può immaginare mostri troppo grandi e neri per entrare in qualsiasi quadro, e dare loro nomi troppo ultraterreni e cacofonici per essere mai usciti dalle grida di un pazzo. Il bambino, innanzitutto, di solito ama gli orrori, e continua a concederseli anche quando non li ama più. C’è esattamente la stessa difficoltà nel dire dove inizi il puro dolore nel suo caso, come c’è nel nostro quando camminiamo di nostra libera volontà nella camera della tortura di una grande tragedia. La paura non viene dalle fiabe; la paura viene dall’ universo dell’anima.

… . .

La timidezza del bambino o dello sciamano è assolutamente ragionevole; sono allarmati da questo mondo, perché questo mondo è un luogo molto allarmante. Non amano stare soli perché è veramente un’idea terribile essere solitari. I barbari temono l’ignoto per la stessa ragione per cui gli agnostici lo adorano: perché è un fatto. Le fiabe, quindi, non sono responsabili di produrre nei bambini la paura, o alcuna delle forme della paura; le fiabe non danno al bambino l’idea del male o dell’orrido; questa è già nel bambino perché è già nel mondo. Le fiabe non danno al bambino la sua prima idea di spauracchio. Ciò che le fiabe danno al bambino è la sua prima chiara idea della possibile sconfitta dello spauracchio. Il bambino ha conosciuto il drago intimamente fin da quando aveva un’immaginazione. Ciò che la fiaba gli fornisce è un San Giorgio per uccidere il drago.

Esattamente quello che fa la fiaba è questo: abitua lui, con una serie di immagini chiare, all’idea che queste terrors illimitate abbiano un limite, che questi nemici senza forma abbiano dei nemici nei cavalieri di Dio, che ci sia qualcosa nell’universo più mistico del buio e più forte della paura. Quando ero un bambino ho fissato il buio fino a quando l’intera massa nera si è trasformata in un gigante negro alto quanto il cielo. Se c’era una stella nel cielo, lo rendeva solo un Ciclope. Ma le fiabe hanno ristabilito la mia salute mentale, perché il giorno dopo ho letto un resoconto autentico di come un gigante negro con un occhio, di dimensioni del tutto uguali, fosse stato sconfitto da un ragazzino come me (di esperienza simile e persino di status sociale più basso) con l’aiuto di una spada, alcuni indovinelli difficili e un cuore coraggioso. A volte il mare di notte sembrava tanto terribile quanto qualsiasi drago. Ma poi ho conosciuto molti figli minori e piccoli marinai per i quali un drago o due erano semplici come il mare.

Prendete la più orribile delle fiabe dei Grimm per episodi e immagini, la squisita storia del “Ragazzo che non sapeva cosa fosse il brivido”, e capirete cosa intendo. In quella storia ci sono alcuni colpi di scena vividi. Mi ricordo in particolare le gambe di un uomo che caddero giù per la canna fumaria da sole, e si misero a camminare per la stanza finché non furono raggiunte dalla testa e dal corpo mozzati che caddero dalla stessa canna fumaria dopo di loro. È molto ben fatto. Ma il punto della storia e il punto dei sentimenti del lettore non è che queste cose siano spaventose, ma il fatto, assai più sorprendente, che l’eroe non ne fosse spaventato. La cosa più terribile di tutte queste meraviglie terribili era la sua stessa mancanza di paura. Dava pacche sulle spalle ai fantasmi e chiedeva ai diavoli di bere vino con lui; molte volte nella mia giovinezza, quando soffocato da qualche malattia moderna, ho pregato per avere una doppia dose del suo spirito. Se non avete letto la fine della sua storia, andate a leggerla; è la cosa più saggia del mondo. L’eroe imparò infine a provare brivido prendendosi una moglie che gli versò un secchio di acqua fredda addosso. In quella sola frase c’è più vero significato del matrimonio che in tutti i libri sul sesso che coprono l’Europa e l’America.

… . .

Ai quattro angoli del letto di un bambino stanno Perseo e Orlando, Sigurd e San Giorgio. Se ritirate la guardia degli eroi non lo state rendendo razionale; lo lasciate solo a combattere i demoni da solo. I demoni, purtroppo, li abbiamo sempre creduti. L’elemento di speranza nell’universo è stato negato e riaffermato continuamente nei tempi moderni; ma l’elemento disperato non è mai stato negato neanche per un momento. Come ho detto a “H. N. B.” (che saluto augurandogli un Buon Natale nel suo senso più superstizioso), la sola cosa in cui le persone moderne credono davvero è la dannazione. Il più grande dei poeti puramente moderni ha riassunto l’atteggiamento veramente moderno in quella bella linea Agnostica:

“Potrebbe esserci il Cielo; deve esserci l’Inferno”.

La visione cupa dell’universo è stata una tradizione continua; e i nuovi tipi di indagine o congettura spirituale cominciano tutti col essere cupi. Un po’ di tempo fa gli uomini non credevano negli spiriti. Ora stanno iniziando, piuttosto lentamente, a credere in spiriti piuttosto lenti.

… . .

Alcuni obiettavano allo spiritismo, ai colpi sul tavolo e a cose del genere, perché erano indecorosi, perché i fantasmi facevano battute o ballavano il valzer con i tavoli da pranzo. Io non condivido affatto questa obiezione. Vorrei che gli spiriti fossero più grotteschi di quanto siano. Che facciano più battute e migliori, sarebbe la mia proposta. Perché quasi tutto lo spiritismo del nostro tempo, nella misura in cui è nuovo, è solenne e triste. Alcuni dei dèi pagani erano senza legge, alcuni dei santi cristiani erano un po’ troppo seri; ma gli spiriti dello spiritualismo moderno sono sia senza legge che seri—una combinazione disgustosa. Gli spiriti particolarmente contemporanei non sono solo diavoli, sono diavoli neri. Questo è, in primo e ultimo luogo, il vero valore del Natale; nella misura in cui la mitologia rimane tale, essa è una specie di mitologia felice. Personalmente, ovviamente, credo nel Babbo Natale; ma è la stagione del perdono, e perdonerò agli altri se non fanno lo stesso. Ma se c’è qualcuno che non comprende il difetto del nostro mondo che io sto civilizzando, gli consiglierei, per esempio, di leggere una storia di Henry James intitolata “Il giro di vite.” È una delle cose più potenti mai scritte e è una delle cose su cui dubito maggiormente se sarebbe dovuta essere scritta affatto. Descrive due bambini innocenti che gradualmente diventano onniscienti e mezzo scemi sotto l’influenza dei foul fantasmi di un stalliere e una governante. Come dicevo, io dubito se Henry James avrebbe dovuto pubblicarla (no, non è indecente, non compratela; è una questione spirituale), ma trovo la questione tanto dubbiosa che darò a quell’uomo veramente grande un’occasione. Approverò la cosa tanto quanto l’ammiro se scriverà un altro racconto altrettanto potente su due bambini e Babbo Natale. Se non lo farà, o non può, allora la conclusione è chiara; possiamo affrontare con forza il mistero cupo, ma non quello felice; non siamo razionalisti, ma diavolisti.

… . .

Ho pensato vagamente a tutto questo fissando un grande fuoco rosso che si erge nella stanza come un grande angelo rosso. Ma forse non avete mai sentito parlare di un angelo rosso. Ma avrete sentito parlare del diavolo blu. È esattamente quello che intendo.

XVIII

The Tower

I have been standing where everybody has stood, opposite the great Belfry Tower of Bruges, and thinking, as every one has thought (though not, perhaps, said), that it is built in defiance of all decencies of architecture. It is made in deliberate disproportion to achieve the one startling effect of height. It is a church on stilts. But this sort of sublime deformity is characteristic of the whole fancy and energy of these Flemish cities. Flanders has the flattest and most prosaic landscapes, but the most violent and extravagant of buildings. Here Nature is tame; it is civilisation that is untamable. Here the fields are as flat as a paved square; but, on the other hand, the streets and roofs are as uproarious as a forest in a great wind. The waters of wood and meadow slide as smoothly and meekly as if they were in the London water-pipes. But the parish pump is carved with all the creatures out of the wilderness. Part of this is true, of course, of all art. We talk of wild animals, but the wildest animal is man. There are sounds in music that are more ancient and awful than the cry of the strangest beast at night. And so also there are buildings that are shapeless in their strength, seeming to lift themselves slowly like monsters from the primal mire, and there are spires that seem to fly up suddenly like a startled bird.

… . .

This savagery even in stone is the expression of the special spirit in humanity. All the beasts of the field are respectable; it is only man who has broken loose. All animals are domestic animals; only man is ever undomestic. All animals are tame animals; it is only we who are wild. And doubtless, also, while this queer energy is common to all human art, it is also generally characteristic of Christian art among the arts of the world. This is what people really mean when they say that Christianity is barbaric, and arose in ignorance. As a matter of historic fact, it didn’t; it arose in the most equably civilised period the world has ever seen.

But it is true that there is something in it that breaks the outline of perfect and conventional beauty, something that dots with anger the blind eyes of the Apollo and lashes to a cavalry charge the horses of the Elgin Marbles. Christianity is savage, in the sense that it is primeval; there is in it a touch of the nigger hymn. I remember a debate in which I had praised militant music in ritual, and some one asked me if I could imagine Christ walking down the street before a brass band. I said I could imagine it with the greatest ease; for Christ definitely approved a natural noisiness at a great moment. When the street children shouted too loud, certain priggish disciples did begin to rebuke them in the name of good taste. He said: “If these were silent the very stones would cry out.” With these words He called up all the wealth of artistic creation that has been founded on this creed. With those words He founded Gothic architecture. For in a town like this, which seems to have grown Gothic as a wood grows leaves, anywhere and anyhow, any odd brick or moulding may be carved off into a shouting face. The front of vast buildings is thronged with open mouths, angels praising God, or devils defying Him. Rock itself is racked and twisted, until it seems to scream. The miracle is accomplished; the very stones cry out.

But though this furious fancy is certainly a specialty of men among creatures, and of Christian art among arts, it is still most notable in the art of Flanders. All Gothic buildings are full of extravagant things in detail; but this is an extravagant thing in design. All Christian temples worth talking about have gargoyles; but Bruges Belfry is a gargoyle. It is an unnaturally long-necked animal, like a giraffe. The same impression of exaggeration is forced on the mind at every corner of a Flemish town. And if any one asks, “Why did the people of these flat countries instinctively raise these riotous and towering monuments?” the only answer one can give is, “Because they were the people of these flat countries.” If any one asks, “Why the men of Bruges sacrificed architecture and everything to the sense of dizzy and divine heights?” we can only answer, “Because Nature gave them no encouragement to do so.”

… . .

As I stare at the Belfry, I think with a sort of smile of some of my friends in London who are quite sure of how children will turn out if you give them what they call “the right environment.” It is a troublesome thing, environment, for it sometimes works positively and sometimes negatively, and more often between the two. A beautiful environment may make a child love beauty; it may make him bored with beauty; most likely the two effects will mix and neutralise each other. Most likely, that is, the environment will make hardly any difference at all. In the scientific style of history (which was recently fashionable, and is still conventional) we always had a list of countries that had owed their characteristics to their physical conditions.

The Spaniards (it was said) are passionate because their country is hot; Scandinavians adventurous because their country is cold; Englishmen naval because they are islanders; Switzers free because they are mountaineers. It is all very nice in its way. Only unfortunately I am quite certain that I could make up quite as long a list exactly contrary in its argument point-blank against the influence of their geographical environment. Thus Spaniards have discovered more continents than Scandinavians because their hot climate discouraged them from exertion. Thus Dutchmen have fought for their freedom quite as bravely as Switzers because the Dutch have no mountains. Thus Pagan Greece and Rome and many Mediterranean peoples have specially hated the sea because they had the nicest sea to deal with, the easiest sea to manage. I could extend the list for ever. But however long it was, two examples would certainly stand up in it as pre-eminent and unquestionable. The first is that the Swiss, who live under staggering precipices and spires of eternal snow, have produced no art or literature at all, and are by far the most mundane, sensible, and business-like people in Europe. The other is that the people of Belgium, who live in a country like a carpet, have, by an inner energy, desired to exalt their towers till they struck the stars.

As it is therefore quite doubtful whether a person will go specially with his environment or specially against his environment, I cannot comfort myself with the thought that the modern discussions about environment are of much practical value. But I think I will not write any more about these modern theories, but go on looking at the Belfry of Bruges. I would give them the greater attention if I were not pretty well convinced that the theories will have disappeared a long time before the Belfry.

XVIII

La Torre

Mi sono fermato dove tutti si sono fermati, di fronte alla grande Torre del Campanile di Bruges, e ho pensato, come tutti hanno pensato (anche se forse non detto), che è costruita in sfida a tutte le decenze dell’architettura. È fatta con una deliberata sproporzione per ottenere l’unico effetto sorprendente dell’altezza. È una chiesa su trampoli. Ma questo tipo di deformità sublime è caratteristico di tutta la fantasia e l’energia di queste città fiamminghe. La Fiandra ha i paesaggi più piatti e prosaici, ma gli edifici più violenti ed eccessivi. Qui la Natura è domata; è la civiltà che è indomabile. Qui i campi sono piatti come una piazza lastricata; ma, d’altra parte, le strade e i tetti sono tumultuosi come una foresta in un grande vento. Le acque del bosco e del prato scorrono lisce e mansuete come se fossero nelle tubature dell’acqua di Londra. Ma il pozzo parrocchiale è intagliato con tutte le creature uscite dal deserto. Parte di questo è vero, naturalmente, per tutta l’arte. Parliamo di animali selvaggi, ma l’animale più selvaggio è l’uomo. Ci sono suoni nella musica che sono più antichi e terribili del grido della bestia più strana alla notte. E così anche ci sono edifici che sono informi nella loro forza, sembrando sollevarsi lentamente come mostri dal fango primordiale, e ci sono guglie che sembrano volare su improvvisamente come un uccello spaventato.

… . .

Questa ferocia anche nella pietra è l’espressione dello spirito speciale dell’umanità. Tutte le bestie dei campi sono rispettabili; solo l’uomo si è scatenato. Tutti gli animali sono animali domestici; solo l’uomo non lo è mai. Tutti gli animali sono animali addomesticati; solo noi siamo selvaggi. E senza dubbio, anche se questa strana energia è comune a tutta l’arte umana, essa caratterizza in genere anche l’arte cristiana tra le arti del mondo. Questo è ciò che la gente intende davvero quando dice che il cristianesimo è barbarico e nato nell’ignoranza. Come fatto storico, non lo è; nacque nel periodo più equamente civilizzato che il mondo abbia mai visto.

Ma è vero che c’è qualcosa in essa che rompe il contorno della bellezza perfetta e convenzionale, qualcosa che punteggia di rabbia gli occhi ciechi dell’Apollo e incita a una carica di cavalleria i cavalli dei Marmi Elgin. Il cristianesimo è selvaggio, nel senso che è primordiale; in esso c’è un tocco dell’inno del negro. Ricordo una discussione in cui avevo lodato la musica militante nei rituali, e qualcuno mi ha chiesto se potessi immaginare il Cristo che cammina per strada davanti a un’orchestra di ottoni. Ho detto che potevo immaginarlo con la massima facilità; perché il Cristo approvava decisamente una naturale rumorosità in un grande momento. Quando i bambini delle strade gridavano troppo forte, certi discepoli pedanti cominciavano a rimproverarli in nome del buon gusto. Egli disse: “Se questi taceranno, le pietre stesse grideranno”. Con queste parole Egli evocò tutta la ricchezza della creazione artistica che è stata fondata su questo credo. Con quelle parole fondò l’architettura gotica. Perché in una città come questa, che sembra essere cresciuta gotica come un bosco fa crescere le foglie, ovunque e comunque, qualsiasi mattonella o modanatura può essere scolpita in un volto urlante. La facciata di vasti edifici è affollata di bocche aperte, angeli che lodano Dio, o diavoli che Lo sfidano. Anche la roccia stessa viene contorta e torturata, fino a sembrare che gridi. Il miracolo è compiuto; le pietre stesse grideranno.

Ma sebbene questa furiosa fantasia sia certamente una specialità degli uomini tra le creature e dell’arte cristiana tra le arti, è ancora più notevole nell’arte dei Paesi Bassi. Tutti gli edifici gotici sono pieni di cose stravaganti nei dettagli; ma questa è una cosa stravagante nel disegno. Tutti i templi cristiani degni di nota hanno gargouille; ma il Campanile di Bruges è una gargouille. È un animale dal collo innaturalmente lungo, come una giraffa. La stessa impressione di esagerazione viene imposta alla mente ad ogni angolo di una città fiamminga. E se qualcuno chiede: “Perché le persone di questi paesi piatti hanno istintivamente eretto questi monumenti tumultuosi e torreggianti?” l’unica risposta che si può dare è: “Perché erano le persone di questi paesi piatti.” Se qualcuno chiede: “Perché gli uomini di Bruges hanno sacrificato l’architettura e tutto al senso delle altezze vertiginose e divine?” possiamo solo rispondere: “Perché Natura non li ha incoraggiati a farlo.”

… . .

Mentre fisso il campanile, penso con una specie di sorriso ad alcuni dei miei amici a Londra che sono assolutamente sicuri di come i bambini si svilupperanno se gli si dà quello che chiamano “l’ambiente giusto”. È una cosa complicata, l’ambiente, perché a volte funziona in modo positivo e a volte negativo, e più spesso tra i due. Un ambiente bello può far sì che un bambino ami la bellezza; può renderlo annoiato dalla bellezza; molto probabilmente i due effetti si mescoleranno e si neutralizzeranno a vicenda. Molto probabilmente, l’ambiente non farà quasi alcuna differenza. Nello stile scientifico della storia (che era di moda di recente, ed è ancora convenzionale) avevamo sempre un elenco di paesi che dovevano le loro caratteristiche alle loro condizioni fisiche.

Si dice che gli spagnoli siano appassionati perché il loro paese è caldo; i scandinavi avventurosi perché il loro paese è freddo; gli inglesi marinari perché sono isolani; i svizzeri liberi perché sono montanari. È tutto molto bello a modo suo. Solo che, purtroppo, sono sicurissimo di poter fare una lista altrettanto lunga con argomentazioni esattamente opposte e in aperto contrasto con l’influenza del loro ambiente geografico. Così gli spagnoli hanno scoperto più continenti dei scandinavi perché il loro clima caldo li scoraggiava dall’impegnarsi. Così gli olandesi hanno combattuto per la loro libertà con altrettanto coraggio quanto i svizzeri, perché gli olandesi non hanno montagne. Così la Grecia e Roma pagane e molti popoli del Mediterraneo hanno particolarmente odiato il mare proprio perché avevano a che fare col più bel mare possibile, il mare più facile da gestire. Potrei allungare la lista all’infinito. Ma per quanto lunga fosse, due esempi vi spiccherebbero certamente come preminenti e indiscutibili. Il primo è che gli svizzeri, che vivono sotto precipizi sbalorditivi e guglie di neve eterna, non hanno prodotto alcuna arte o letteratura ed sono di gran lunga il popolo più mondano, sensato e pratico d’Europa. L’altro è che i belgi, che vivono in un paese come un tappeto, per una forza interiore hanno voluto innalzare le loro torri fino a sfiorare le stelle.

Poiché è quindi piuttosto dubbio che una persona si metta appositamente dalla parte del suo ambiente o appositamente contro il suo ambiente, non posso consolarmi con il pensiero che le moderne discussioni sull’ambiente abbiano un grande valore pratico. Ma credo che non scriverò più su queste teorie moderne, ma continuerò a guardare il Campanile di Bruges. Ci presterei maggiore attenzione se non fossi abbastanza convinto che le teorie saranno scomparse da un lungo periodo prima del Campanile.

XIX

How I Met the President

Several years ago, when there was a small war going on in South Africa and a great fuss going on in England, when it was by no means so popular and convenient to be a Pro-Boer as it is now, I remember making a bright suggestion to my Pro-Boer friends and allies, which was not, I regret to say, received with the seriousness it deserved. I suggested that a band of devoted and noble youths, including ourselves, should express our sense of the pathos of the President’s and the Republic’s fate by growing Kruger beards under our chins. I imagined how abruptly this decoration would alter the appearance of Mr. John Morley; how startling it would be as it emerged from under the chin of Mr. Lloyd-George. But the younger men, my own friends, on whom I more particularly urged it, men whose names are in many cases familiar to the readers of this paper—Mr. Masterman’s for instance, and Mr. Conrad Noel—they, I felt, being young and beautiful, would do even more justice to the Kruger beard, and when walking down the street with it could not fail to attract attention. The beard would have been a kind of counterblast to the Rhodes hat. An appropriate counterblast; for the Rhodesian power in Africa is only an external thing, placed upon the top like a hat; the Dutch power and tradition is a thing rooted and growing like a beard; we have shaved it, and it is growing again. The Kruger beard would represent time and the natural processes. You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.

… . .

After making this proposal to my friends I hurriedly left town. I went down to a West Country place where there was shortly afterwards an election, at which I enjoyed myself very much canvassing for the Liberal candidate. The extraordinary thing was that he got in. I sometimes lie awake at night and meditate upon that mystery; but it must not detain us now. The rather singular incident which happened to me then, and which some recent events have recalled to me, happened while the canvassing was still going on. It was a burning blue day, and the warm sunshine, settling everywhere on the high hedges and the low hills, brought out into a kind of heavy bloom that HUMANE quality of the landscape which, as far as I know, only exists in England; that sense as if the bushes and the roads were human, and had kindness like men; as if the tree were a good giant with one wooden leg; as if the very line of palings were a row of good-tempered gnomes. On one side of the white, sprawling road a low hill or down showed but a little higher than the hedge, on the other the land tumbled down into a valley that opened towards the Mendip hills. The road was very erratic, for every true English road exists in order to lead one a dance; and what could be more beautiful and beneficent than a dance? At an abrupt turn of it I came upon a low white building, with dark doors and dark shuttered windows, evidently not inhabited and scarcely in the ordinary sense inhabitable— a thing more like a toolhouse than a house of any other kind. Made idle by the heat, I paused, and, taking a piece of red chalk out of my pocket, began drawing aimlessly on the back door— drawing goblins and Mr. Chamberlain, and finally the ideal Nationalist with the Kruger beard. The materials did not permit of any delicate rendering of his noble and national expansion of countenance (stoical and yet hopeful, full of tears for man, and yet of an element of humour); but the hat was finely handled. Just as I was adding the finishing touches to the Kruger fantasy, I was frozen to the spot with terror. The black door, which I thought no more of than the lid of an empty box, began slowly to open, impelled from within by a human hand. And President Kruger himself came out into the sunlight!

He was a shade milder of eye than he was in his portraits, and he did not wear that ceremonial scarf which was usually, in such pictures, slung across his ponderous form. But there was the hat which filled the Empire with so much alarm; there were the clumsy dark clothes, there was the heavy, powerful face; there, above all, was the Kruger beard which I had sought to evoke (if I may use the verb) from under the features of Mr. Masterman. Whether he had the umbrella or not I was too much emotionally shaken to observe; he had not the stone lions with him, or Mrs. Kruger; and what he was doing in that dark shed I cannot imagine, but I suppose he was oppressing an Outlander.

I was surprised, I must confess, to meet President Kruger in Somersetshire during the war. I had no idea that he was in the neighbourhood. But a yet more arresting surprise awaited me. Mr. Kruger regarded me for some moments with a dubious grey eye, and then addressed me with a strong Somersetshire accent. A curious cold shock went through me to hear that inappropriate voice coming out of that familiar form. It was as if you met a Chinaman, with pigtail and yellow jacket, and he began to talk broad Scotch. But the next moment, of course, I understood the situation. We had much underrated the Boers in supposing that the Boer education was incomplete. In pursuit of his ruthless plot against our island home, the terrible President had learnt not only English, but all the dialects at a moment’s notice to win over a Lancashire merchant or seduce a Northumberland Fusilier. No doubt, if I asked him, this stout old gentleman could grind out Sussex, Essex, Norfolk, Suffolk, and so on, like the tunes in a barrel organ. I could not wonder if our plain, true-hearted German millionaires fell before a cunning so penetrated with culture as this.

… . .

And now I come to the third and greatest surprise of all that this strange old man gave me. When he asked me, dryly enough, but not without a certain steady civility that belongs to old-fashioned country people, what I wanted and what I was doing, I told him the facts of the case, explaining my political mission and the almost angelic qualities of the Liberal candidate. Whereupon, this old man became suddenly transfigured in the sunlight into a devil of wrath. It was some time before I could understand a word he said, but the one word that kept on recurring was the word “Kruger,” and it was invariably accompanied with a volley of violent terms. Was I for old Kruger, was I? Did I come to him and want him to help old Kruger? I ought to be ashamed, I was … and here he became once more obscure. The one thing that he made quite clear was that he wouldn’t do anything for Kruger.

“But you ARE Kruger,” burst from my lips, in a natural explosion of reasonableness. “You ARE Kruger, aren’t you?”

After this innocent CRI DE COEUR of mine, I thought at first there would be a fight, and I remembered with regret that the President in early life had had a hobby of killing lions. But really I began to think that I had been mistaken, and that it was not the President after all. There was a confounding sincerity in the anger with which he declared that he was Farmer Bowles, and everybody knowed it. I appeased him eventually and parted from him at the door of his farmhouse, where he left me with a few tags of religion, which again raised my suspicions of his identity. In the coffee-room to which I returned there was an illustrated paper with a picture of President Kruger, and he and Farmer Bowles were as like as two peas. There was a picture also of a group of Outlander leaders, and the faces of them, leering and triumphant, were perhaps unduly darkened by the photograph, but they seemed to me like the faces of a distant and hostile people.

I saw the old man once again on the fierce night of the poll, when he drove down our Liberal lines in a little cart ablaze with the blue Tory ribbons, for he was a man who would carry his colours everywhere. It was evening, and the warm western light was on the grey hair and heavy massive features of that good old man. I knew as one knows a fact of sense that if Spanish and German stockbrokers had flooded his farm or country he would have fought them for ever, not fiercely like an Irishman, but with the ponderous courage and ponderous cunning of the Boer. I knew that without seeing it, as certainly as I knew without seeing it that when he went into the polling room he put his cross against the Conservative name. Then he came out again, having given his vote and looking more like Kruger than ever. And at the same hour on the same night thousands upon thousands of English Krugers gave the same vote. And thus Kruger was pulled down and the dark-faced men in the photograph reigned in his stead.

XIX

Come ho incontrato il presidente

Alcuni anni fa, quando c’era una piccola guerra in corso nel Sud Africa e un grande trambusto in Inghilterra, quando non era affatto così popolare e conveniente essere filo-boeri come lo è ora, ricordo di aver fatto un brillante suggerimento ai miei amici e alleati filo-boeri, che non fu, mi duole dirlo, accolto con la serietà che meritava. Suggerii che un gruppo di giovani devoti e nobili, compresi noi stessi, dovesse esprimere il nostro senso del pathos della sorte del Presidente e della Repubblica facendoci crescere barbe da Kruger sotto i nostri menti. Immaginavo quanto bruscamente questa decorazione avrebbe alterato l’aspetto di John Morley; quanto sarebbe stato sorprendente mentre emergeva dal mento di Lloyd-George. Ma i giovani, i miei amici, su cui insistetti più particolarmente, uomini il cui nome è in molti casi familiare ai lettori di questo giornale — per esempio quello di Masterman, e Conrad Noel — loro, sentivo, essendo giovani e belli, avrebbero reso ancora più giustizia alla barba da Kruger, e passeggiando per strada con quella non avrebbero potuto mancare di attirare l’attenzione. La barba sarebbe stata una sorta di contrapposizione al cappello di Rhodes. Una contrapposizione appropriata; perché il potere rhodesiano in Africa è solo una cosa esterna, messa sopra come un cappello; il potere e la tradizione olandese sono cose radicate e crescenti come una barba; l’abbiamo rasata, e sta ricrescendo. La barba da Kruger avrebbe rappresentato il tempo e i processi naturali. Non puoi farti crescere la barba in un momento di passione.

… . .

Dopo aver fatto questa proposta ai miei amici mi affrettai ad uscire dalla città. Mi recai in un luogo del West Country dove poco dopo si svolse un’elezione, alla quale mi divertii molto facendo campagna per il candidato liberale. La cosa straordinaria fu che vinse. A volte rimango sveglio di notte e medito su quel mistero; ma non dobbiamo soffermarci ora su questo. L’incidente piuttosto singolare che mi accadde allora, e che alcuni eventi recenti hanno richiamato alla mia memoria, avvenne mentre la campagna era ancora in corso. Era una giornata calda e azzurra, e il tiepido sole, che si posava ovunque sui cespugli alti e sulle colline basse, faceva sbocciare in un certo senso in un rigoglio denso quella qualità UMANA del paesaggio che, per quanto ne so, esiste solo in Inghilterra; quella sensazione come se gli arbusti e le strade fossero umani, e avessero gentilezza come gli uomini; come se l’albero fosse un buon gigante con una gamba di legno; come se la stessa linea delle palizzate fosse una fila di gnomi di buon umore. Da un lato della bianca, strisciante strada si vedeva una bassa collina solo poco più alta del muro, dall’altro la terra scendeva in una valle che si apriva verso le Mendip Hills. La strada era molto irregolare, perché ogni vera strada inglese esiste per condurre uno a una danza; e cosa potrebbe essere più bella e benefica di una danza? A un brusco giro la imboccai su un basso edificio bianco, con porte scure e finestre oscurate da persiane, evidentemente non abitato e appena nel senso ordinario abitabile— una cosa più simile a una rimessa che a una casa di qualsiasi altro tipo. Reso ozioso dal caldo, mi fermai, e tirando fuori un pezzo di gesso rosso dalla tasca, iniziai a disegnare senza meta sulla porta sul retro— disegnando folletti e il signor Chamberlain, e infine l’idealista nazionalista con la barba alla Kruger. I materiali non permettevano di rendere delicatamente la sua nobile e nazionale espansione del volto (stoica eppure speranzosa, piena di lacrime per l’uomo, eppure con un elemento di umorismo); ma il cappello fu ben riuscito. Proprio mentre stavo aggiungendo i tocchi finali alla fantasia sul Kruger, rimasi paralizzato dal terrore. La porta nera, che non pensavo fosse altro che il coperchio di una scatola vuota, iniziò ad aprirsi lentamente, spinta dall’interno da una mano umana. Ed ecco che il Presidente Kruger stesso uscì alla luce del sole!

Aveva lo sguardo un po’ più mite di quello dei suoi ritratti, e non indossava quella sciarpa cerimoniale che solitamente, in tali immagini, gli pendeva sul corpo massiccio. Ma c’era il cappello che aveva riempito l’Impero di tanto allarme; c’erano i vestiti scuri e scomodi, c’era il volto pesante e potente; e soprattutto, c’era la barba di Kruger che avevo cercato di evocare (se mi è permesso usare questo verbo) sotto le sembianze del signor Masterman. Non so se avesse con sé l’ombrello o no, ero troppo scosso emotivamente per osservarlo; non aveva i leoni di pietra con sé, né la signora Kruger; e cosa facesse in quel capanno buio non riesco a immaginare, ma suppongo che stesse opprimendo un Outlander.

Confesso di essere rimasto sorpreso nel incontrare il presidente Kruger in Somersetshire durante la guerra. Non avevo idea che si trovasse nei paraggi. Ma una sorpresa ancora più sconcertante mi attendeva. Il signor Kruger mi osservò per alcuni istanti con un occhio grigio dubbioso, e poi mi rivolse la parola con un forte accento del Somersetshire. Un curioso brivido freddo mi attraversò nel sentire quella voce inappropriata provenire da quella forma familiare. Era come se aveste incontrato un cinese, con codino e giacca gialla, e lui avesse cominciato a parlare scozzese. Ma il momento successivo, naturalmente, compresi la situazione. Avevamo molto sottovalutato i Boeri supponendo che l’educazione boera fosse incompleta. Nel perseguire il suo spietato complotto contro la nostra isola patria, il terribile presidente aveva imparato non solo l’inglese, ma tutti i dialetti in un batter d’occhio per conquistare un mercante del Lancashire o sedurre un fuciliere di Northumberland. Nessun dubbio, se glielo avessi chiesto, questo robusto vecchio signore avrebbe potuto sputare fuori Sussex, Essex, Norfolk, Suffolk e così via, come le melodie in un organo a canne. Non potevo non meravigliarmi se i nostri semplici, veri milionari tedeschi cedessero davanti a una scaltrezza così intrisa di cultura come questa.

… . .

E ora arrivo alla terza e più grande sorpresa di tutte quelle che questo strano vecchio mi ha dato. Quando mi chiese, abbastanza asciutto, ma non senza una certa costante cortesia tipica della gente del paese all’antica, cosa volessi e cosa stessi facendo, gli esposi i fatti del caso, spiegandogli la mia missione politica e le qualità quasi angeliche del candidato liberale. A quel punto, questo vecchio si trasformò improvvisamente alla luce del sole in un diavolo d’ira. Ci volle qualche tempo prima che potessi capire una parola di quello che diceva, ma la parola che continuava a ripetersi era “Kruger”, e veniva immancabilmente accompagnata da una raffica di termini violenti. Ero forse per il vecchio Kruger, ero? Venivo da lui e volevo che mi aiutasse il vecchio Kruger? Avrei dovuto vergognarmi, lo ero… e qui divenne nuovamente oscuro. L’unica cosa che rese chiarissima fu che non avrebbe fatto nulla per Kruger.

«Ma voi siete Kruger», mi sfuggì dalle labbra, in un’esplosione naturale di ragionevolezza. «Voi siete Kruger, vero?»

Dopo questo mio innocente grido del cuore, pensai dapprima che ci sarebbe stata una rissa e ricordai con rammarico che il Presidente in gioventù aveva avuto l’abitudine di uccidere leoni. Ma in realtà cominciai a pensare che mi fossi sbagliato e che non fosse affatto il Presidente. C’era una sincerità sconcertante nella rabbia con cui dichiarava di essere il contadino Bowles, e tutti lo sapevano. Alla fine lo calmai e ci separammo alla porta della sua fattoria, dove mi lasciò con qualche parola di religione, che sollevò nuovamente i miei sospetti sulla sua identità. Nella sala da tè a cui tornai c’era un giornale illustrato con una foto del Presidente Kruger, e lui e il contadino Bowles erano simili come due gocce d’acqua. C’era anche la foto di un gruppo di leader stranieri, e i loro volti, beffardi e trionfanti, forse erano stati oscurati in modo eccessivo dalla fotografia, ma mi sembravano i volti di un popolo lontano e ostile.

Rividi il vecchio quella notte burrascosa del voto, quando sfrecciò lungo le nostre linee liberali su un carretto in fiamme con i nastri blu dei conservatori, perché era un uomo che portava ovunque i suoi colori. Era sera e la calda luce occidentale illuminava i capelli grigi e i tratti massicci di quel buon vecchio. Sapevo come si sa una verità sensata che se broker spagnoli e tedeschi avessero invaso la sua fattoria o il suo paese li avrebbe combattuti per sempre, non con ferocia da irlandese, ma con il coraggio ponderoso coraggio e l’astuzia pesante del Boer. Sapevo che era così senza vederlo, tanto quanto sapevo senza averlo visto che quando entrò nella cabina elettorale mise la sua croce accanto al nome conservatore. Poi uscì di nuovo, avendo espresso il suo voto e assomigliando più che mai a Kruger. E alla stessa ora, nello stesso night, migliaia e migliaia di inglesi come Kruger diedero lo stesso voto. E così Kruger fu abbattuto e gli uomini dal volto scuro nella fotografia regnarono al suo posto.

XX

The Giant

I sometimes fancy that every great city must have been built by night. At least, it is only at night that every part of a great city is great. All architecture is great architecture after sunset; perhaps architecture is really a nocturnal art, like the art of fireworks. At least, I think many people of those nobler trades that work by night (journalists, policemen, burglars, coffee-stall keepers, and such mistaken enthusiasts as refuse to go home till morning) must often have stood admiring some black bulk of building with a crown of battlements or a crest of spires and then burst into tears at daybreak to discover that it was only a haberdasher’s shop with huge gold letters across the face of it.

… . .

I had a sensation of this sort the other day as I happened to be wandering in the Temple Gardens towards the end of twilight. I sat down on a bench with my back to the river, happening to choose such a place that a huge angle and façade of building jutting out from the Strand sat above me like an incubus. I dare say that if I took the same seat to-morrow by daylight I should find the impression entirely false. In sunlight the thing might seem almost distant; but in that half-darkness it seemed as if the walls were almost falling upon me. Never before have I had so strongly the sense which makes people pessimists in politics, the sense of the hopeless height of the high places of the earth. That pile of wealth and power, whatever was its name, went up above and beyond me like a cliff that no living thing could climb. I had an irrational sense that this thing had to be fought, that I had to fight it; and that I could offer nothing to the occasion but an indolent journalist with a walking-stick.

Almost as I had the thought, two windows were lit in that black, blind face. It was as if two eyes had opened in the huge face of a sleeping giant; the eyes were too close together, and gave it the suggestion of a bestial sneer. And either by accident of this light or of some other, I could now read the big letters which spaced themselves across the front; it was the Babylon Hotel. It was the perfect symbol of everything that I should like to pull down with my hands if I could. Reared by a detected robber, it is framed to be the fashionable and luxurious home of undetected robbers. In the house of man are many mansions; but there is a class of men who feel normal nowhere except in the Babylon Hotel or in Dartmoor Gaol. That big black face, which was staring at me with its flaming eyes too close together, that was indeed the giant of all epic and fairy tales. But, alas! I was not the giant-killer; the hour had come, but not the man. I sat down on the seat again (I had had one wild impulse to climb up the front of the hotel and fall in at one of the windows), and I tried to think, as all decent people are thinking, what one can really do. And all the time that oppressive wall went up in front of me, and took hold upon the heavens like a house of the gods.

… . .

It is remarkable that in so many great wars it has been the defeated who have won. The people who were left worst at the end of the war were generally the people who were left best at the end of the whole business. For instance, the Crusades ended in the defeat of the Christians. But they did not end in the decline of the Christians; they ended in the decline of the Saracens. That huge prophetic wave of Moslem power which had hung in the very heavens above the towns of Christendom, that wave was broken, and never came on again. The Crusaders had saved Paris in the act of losing Jerusalem. The same applies to that epic of Republican war in the eighteenth century to which we Liberals owe our political creed. The French Revolution ended in defeat: the kings came back across a carpet of dead at Waterloo. The Revolution had lost its last battle; but it had gained its first object. It had cut a chasm. The world has never been the same since. No one after that has ever been able to treat the poor merely as a pavement.

These jewels of God, the poor, are still treated as mere stones of the street; but as stones that may sometimes fly. If it please God, you and I may see some of the stones flying again before we see death. But here I only remark the interesting fact that the conquered almost always conquer. Sparta killed Athens with a final blow, and she was born again. Sparta went away victorious, and died slowly of her own wounds. The Boers lost the South African War and gained South Africa.

And this is really all that we can do when we fight something really stronger than ourselves; we can deal it its death-wound one moment; it deals us death in the end. It is something if we can shock and jar the unthinking impetus and enormous innocence of evil; just as a pebble on a railway can stagger the Scotch express. It is enough for the great martyrs and criminals of the French revolution, that they have surprised for all time the secret weakness of the strong. They have awakened and set leaping and quivering in his crypt for ever the coward in the hearts of kings.

… . .

When Jack the Giant-Killer really first saw the giant his experience was not such as has been generally supposed. If you care to hear it I will tell you the real story of Jack the Giant-Killer. To begin with, the most awful thing which Jack first felt about the giant was that he was not a giant. He came striding across an interminable wooded plain, and against its remote horizon the giant was quite a small figure, like a figure in a picture—he seemed merely a man walking across the grass. Then Jack was shocked by remembering that the grass which the man was treading down was one of the tallest forests upon that plain. The man came nearer and nearer, growing bigger and bigger, and at the instant when he passed the possible stature of humanity Jack almost screamed. The rest was an intolerable apocalypse.

The giant had the one frightful quality of a miracle; the more he became incredible the more he became solid. The less one could believe in him the more plainly one could see him. It was unbearable that so much of the sky should be occupied by one human face. His eyes, which had stood out like bow windows, became bigger yet, and there was no metaphor that could contain their bigness; yet still they were human eyes. Jack’s intellect was utterly gone under that huge hypnotism of the face that filled the sky; his last hope was submerged, his five wits all still with terror.

But there stood up in him still a kind of cold chivalry, a dignity of dead honour that would not forget the small and futile sword in his hand. He rushed at one of the colossal feet of this human tower, and when he came quite close to it the ankle-bone arched over him like a cave. Then he planted the point of his sword against the foot and leant on it with all his weight, till it went up to the hilt and broke the hilt, and then snapped just under it. And it was plain that the giant felt a sort of prick, for he snatched up his great foot into his great hand for an instant; and then, putting it down again, he bent over and stared at the ground until he had seen his enemy.

Then he picked up Jack between a big finger and thumb and threw him away; and as Jack went through the air he felt as if he were flying from system to system through the universe of stars. But, as the giant had thrown him away carelessly, he did not strike a stone, but struck soft mire by the side of a distant river. There he lay insensible for several hours; but when he awoke again his horrible conqueror was still in sight. He was striding away across the void and wooded plain towards where it ended in the sea; and by this time he was only much higher than any of the hills. He grew less and less indeed; but only as a really high mountain grows at last less and less when we leave it in a railway train. Half an hour afterwards he was a bright blue colour, as are the distant hills; but his outline was still human and still gigantic. Then the big blue figure seemed to come to the brink of the big blue sea, and even as it did so it altered its attitude. Jack, stunned and bleeding, lifted himself laboriously upon one elbow to stare. The giant once more caught hold of his ankle, wavered twice as in a wind, and then went over into the great sea which washes the whole world, and which, alone of all things God has made, was big enough to drown him.

XX

Il gigante

Talvolta immagino che ogni grande città debba essere stata costruita di notte. Almeno, è soltanto di notte che ogni parte di una grande città è grande. Ogni architettura è grande architettura dopo il tramonto; forse l’architettura è davvero un’arte notturna, come l’arte dei fuochi d’artificio. Almeno, penso che molti di quei mestieri più nobili che lavorano di notte (giornalisti, poliziotti, ladri, gestori di chioschi del caffè, e quegli entusiasti fuorviati che si rifiutano di tornare a casa prima del mattino) devono aver spesso ammirato qualche nera mole d’edificio con una corona di merli o una cresta di guglie, per poi scoppiare in lacrime allo spuntare del giorno, scoprendo che non era altro che la bottega d’un merciaio con enormi lettere dorate sulla facciata.

… . .

Ebbi una sensazione di questo genere l’altro giorno, mentre mi trovavo a vagabondare nei Temple Gardens verso la fine del crepuscolo. Mi sedetti su una panchina dando le spalle al fiume, scegliendo per caso un luogo tale che un enorme angolo e la facciata d’un edificio, sporgenti dallo Strand, mi sovrastavano come un incubo. Oso dire che, se domani prendessi lo stesso posto alla luce del giorno, troverei l’impressione del tutto falsa. Alla luce del sole la cosa potrebbe apparire quasi distante; ma in quella semioscurità pareva quasi che le mura stessero per crollarmi addosso. Mai prima d’allora avevo avuto con tanta forza quel senso che rende gli uomini pessimisti in politica, il senso della disperata altezza dei luoghi alti della terra. Quella mole di ricchezza e di potere, quale che fosse il suo nome, saliva sopra e oltre di me come una rupe che nessun essere vivente potrebbe scalare. Ebbi la sensazione irrazionale che quella cosa dovesse essere combattuta, che io dovessi combatterla; e che non potessi offrire all’occasione nient’altro che un indolente giornalista con un bastone da passeggio.

Quasi nel momento in cui ebbi questo pensiero, due finestre si illuminarono in quella faccia nera e cieca. Fu come se due occhi si fossero aperti nell’enorme volto d’un gigante addormentato; gli occhi erano troppo ravvicinati, e gli davano l’aria d’un ghigno bestiale. E, per caso di quella luce o di qualche altra, potei ora leggere le grandi lettere che si spaziavano lungo la facciata; era il Babylon Hotel. Era il simbolo perfetto di tutto ciò che vorrei abbattere con le mie mani, se potessi. Eretto da un ladro scoperto, è congegnato per essere la dimora alla moda e lussuosa dei ladri non scoperti. Nella casa dell’uomo vi sono molte magioni; ma esiste una classe d’uomini che non si sentono a proprio agio in nessun luogo, tranne che nel Babylon Hotel o nel carcere di Dartmoor. Quella grande faccia nera, che mi fissava con i suoi occhi fiammeggianti troppo ravvicinati, quello era davvero il gigante d’ogni epica e d’ogni fiaba. Ma, ahimè! io non ero l’ammazzagiganti; l’ora era venuta, ma non l’uomo. Mi risedetti sulla panchina (avevo avuto un impulso selvaggio di arrampicarmi sulla facciata dell’albergo e gettarmi dentro una delle finestre), e cercai di pensare, come pensano tutte le persone perbene, a ciò che si possa realmente fare. E per tutto il tempo quel muro opprimente si ergeva davanti a me, e afferrava i cieli come una casa degli dèi.

… . .

È notevole che in tante grandi guerre siano stati i vinti a vincere. I popoli che alla fine della guerra rimanevano nella condizione peggiore erano generalmente quelli che rimanevano nella condizione migliore alla fine di tutta la faccenda. Per esempio, le Crociate si conclusero con la sconfitta dei cristiani. Ma non si conclusero con il declino dei cristiani; si conclusero con il declino dei Saraceni. Quell’immensa onda profetica del potere musulmano, che aveva incombuto nei cieli stessi sopra le città della cristianità, quell’onda fu spezzata, e non tornò mai più avanti. I crociati avevano salvato Parigi nell’atto di perdere Gerusalemme. Lo stesso vale per quell’epica della guerra repubblicana nel diciottesimo secolo alla quale noi liberali dobbiamo il nostro credo politico. La Rivoluzione francese si concluse con la sconfitta: i re tornarono attraversando un tappeto di morti a Waterloo. La Rivoluzione aveva perduto la sua ultima battaglia; ma aveva raggiunto il suo primo scopo. Aveva scavato un abisso. Il mondo non è più stato lo stesso da allora. Nessuno, dopo di ciò, è più stato capace di trattare i poveri come un semplice selciato.

Queste gemme di Dio, i poveri, sono ancora trattati come mere pietre della strada; ma come pietre che talvolta possono volare. Se piacerà a Dio, io e voi potremo vedere alcune di quelle pietre volare di nuovo prima di vedere la morte. Ma qui mi limito a rilevare l’interessante fatto che il conquistato quasi sempre conquista. Sparta uccise Atene con un colpo finale, ed essa rinacque. Sparta se ne andò vittoriosa, e morì lentamente delle proprie ferite. I boeri persero la guerra sudafricana e guadagnarono il Sudafrica.

E questo è davvero tutto ciò che possiamo fare quando combattiamo qualcosa di realmente più forte di noi: possiamo infliggergli la sua ferita di morte in un momento; esso infligge a noi la morte alla fine. È già qualcosa se riusciamo a scuotere e a scrollare lo slancio irriflessivo e l’enorme innocenza del male; proprio come un ciottolo sui binari può far vacillare il rapido scozzese. È sufficiente, per i grandi martiri e criminali della rivoluzione francese, aver sorpreso per tutto il tempo la segreta debolezza del forte. Hanno destato e messo a saltare e a fremere per sempre nella sua cripta il codardo nel cuore dei re.

… . .

Quando Jack l’Ammazzagiganti vide realmente per la prima volta il gigante, la sua esperienza non fu quale generalmente si è supposto. Se vi va di ascoltarla, vi racconterò la vera storia di Jack l’Ammazzagiganti. Per cominciare, la cosa più tremenda che Jack sentì dapprima riguardo al gigante fu che egli non era un gigante. Veniva avanzando a grandi passi attraverso un’interminabile pianura boscosa, e contro il suo remoto orizzonte il gigante era una figura assai piccola, come una figura in un quadro: sembrava soltanto un uomo che camminasse sull’erba. Poi Jack fu colpito nel ricordare che l’erba che l’uomo calpestava era una delle più alte foreste di quella pianura. L’uomo si avvicinava sempre più, facendosi sempre più grande, e nell’istante in cui superò la statura possibile dell’umanità Jack quasi gridò. Il resto fu un’intollerabile apocalisse.

Il gigante aveva l’unica spaventosa qualità di un miracolo: quanto più diveniva incredibile, tanto più diveniva solido. Quanto meno si poteva credere in lui, tanto più chiaramente lo si poteva vedere. Era insopportabile che tanta parte del cielo fosse occupata da un solo volto umano. I suoi occhi, che erano sporgenti come bovindi, si fecero più grandi ancora, e non v’era metafora che potesse contenere la loro grandezza; eppure erano ancora occhi umani. L’intelletto di Jack se n’era andato del tutto sotto quell’enorme ipnotismo del volto che riempiva il cielo; la sua ultima speranza era sommersa, i suoi cinque sensi tutti immobili di terrore.

Ma si ergeva ancora in lui una sorta di fredda cavalleria, una dignità di onore defunto che non voleva dimenticare la piccola e futile spada nella sua mano. Si slanciò contro uno dei piedi colossali di quella torre umana, e quando le giunse ben vicino l’osso della caviglia si inarcò sopra di lui come una caverna. Allora piantò la punta della sua spada contro il piede e vi si appoggiò con tutto il suo peso, finché essa penetrò fino all’elsa e ruppe l’elsa, e poi si spezzò proprio sotto di essa. E fu chiaro che il gigante sentì una specie di puntura, poiché afferrò il suo gran piede nella sua gran mano per un istante; e poi, riabbassandolo, si chinò e fissò il suolo finché non ebbe scorto il suo nemico.

Poi raccolse Jack fra un grosso dito e il pollice e lo scagliò via; e mentre Jack volava nell’aria si sentì come se stesse volando di sistema in sistema attraverso l’universo delle stelle. Ma, poiché il gigante lo aveva gettato via con noncuranza, egli non urtò una pietra, bensì colpì il molle fango sul bordo di un fiume lontano. Là giacque privo di sensi per parecchie ore; ma quando si ridestò il suo orribile conquistatore era ancora in vista. Se ne andava a grandi passi attraverso la pianura vuota e boscosa verso il punto in cui essa terminava nel mare; e a questo tempo era ormai soltanto molto più alto di ciascuna delle colline. Egli si faceva invero sempre più piccolo; ma solo come una montagna davvero alta si fa infine sempre più piccola quando la lasciamo su un treno in corsa. Mezz’ora dopo era d’un colore azzurro vivo, come sono le colline lontane; ma il suo profilo era ancora umano e ancora gigantesco. Poi la grande figura azzurra parve giungere all’orlo del grande mare azzurro, e proprio nel farlo mutò atteggiamento. Jack, stordito e sanguinante, si sollevò faticosamente su un gomito per guardare. Il gigante afferrò ancora una volta la propria caviglia, vacillò due volte come in un vento, e poi si rovesciò nel gran mare che lava il mondo intero, e che, solo fra tutte le cose che Dio ha fatto, era abbastanza grande da annegarlo.

XXI

A Great Man

People accuse journalism of being too personal; but to me it has always seemed far too impersonal. It is charged with tearing away the veils from private life; but it seems to me to be always dropping diaphanous but blinding veils between men and men. The Yellow Press is abused for exposing facts which are private; I wish the Yellow Press did anything so valuable. It is exactly the decisive individual touches that it never gives; and a proof of this is that after one has met a man a million times in the newspapers it is always a complete shock and reversal to meet him in real life. The Yellow Pressman seems to have no power of catching the first fresh fact about a man that dominates all after impressions. For instance, before I met Bernard Shaw I heard that he spoke with a reckless desire for paradox or a sneering hatred of sentiment; but I never knew till he opened his mouth that he spoke with an Irish accent, which is more important than all the other criticisms put together.

Journalism is not personal enough. So far from digging out private personalities, it cannot even report the obvious personalities on the surface. Now there is one vivid and even bodily impression of this kind which we have all felt when we met great poets or politicians, but which never finds its way into the newspapers. I mean the impression that they are much older than we thought they were. We connect great men with their great triumphs, which generally happened some years ago, and many recruits enthusiastic for the thin Napoleon of Marengo must have found themselves in the presence of the fat Napoleon of Leipzic.

I remember reading a newspaper account of how a certain rising politician confronted the House of Lords with the enthusiasm almost of boyhood. It described how his “brave young voice” rang in the rafters. I also remember that I met him some days after, and he was considerably older than my own father. I mention this truth for only one purpose: all this generalisation leads up to only one fact—the fact that I once met a great man who was younger than I expected.

… . .

I had come over the wooded wall from the villages about Epsom, and down a stumbling path between trees towards the valley in which Dorking lies. A warm sunlight was working its way through the leafage; a sunlight which though of saintless gold had taken on the quality of evening. It was such sunlight as reminds a man that the sun begins to set an instant after noon. It seemed to lessen as the wood strengthened and the road sank.

I had a sensation peculiar to such entangled descents; I felt that the treetops that closed above me were the fixed and real things, certain as the level of the sea; but that the solid earth was every instant failing under my feet. In a little while that splendid sunlight showed only in splashes, like flaming stars and suns in the dome of green sky. Around me in that emerald twilight were trunks of trees of every plain or twisted type; it was like a chapel supported on columns of every earthly and unearthly style of architecture.

Without intention my mind grew full of fancies on the nature of the forest; on the whole philosophy of mystery and force. For the meaning of woods is the combination of energy with complexity. A forest is not in the least rude or barbarous; it is only dense with delicacy. Unique shapes that an artist would copy or a philosopher watch for years if he found them in an open plain are here mingled and confounded; but it is not a darkness of deformity. It is a darkness of life; a darkness of perfection. And I began to think how much of the highest human obscurity is like this, and how much men have misunderstood it. People will tell you, for instance, that theology became elaborate because it was dead. Believe me, if it had been dead it would never have become elaborate; it is only the live tree that grows too many branches.

… . .

These trees thinned and fell away from each other, and I came out into deep grass and a road. I remember being surprised that the evening was so far advanced; I had a fancy that this valley had a sunset all to itself. I went along that road according to directions that had been given me, and passed the gateway in a slight paling beyond which the wood changed only faintly to a garden. It was as if the curious courtesy and fineness of that character I was to meet went out from him upon the valley; for I felt on all these things the finger of that quality which the old English called “faërie”; it is the quality which those can never understand who think of the past as merely brutal; it is an ancient elegance such as there is in trees. I went through the garden and saw an old man sitting by a table, looking smallish in his big chair. He was already an invalid, and his hair and beard were both white; not like snow, for snow is cold and heavy, but like something feathery, or even fierce; rather they were white like the white thistledown. I came up quite close to him; he looked at me as he put out his frail hand, and I saw of a sudden that his eyes were startlingly young. He was the one great man of the old world whom I have met who was not a mere statue over his own grave.

He was deaf and he talked like a torrent. He did not talk about the books he had written; he was far too much alive for that. He talked about the books he had not written. He unrolled a purple bundle of romances which he had never had time to sell. He asked me to write one of the stories for him, as he would have asked the milkman, if he had been talking to the milkman. It was a splendid and frantic story, a sort of astronomical farce. It was all about a man who was rushing up to the Royal Society with the only possible way of avoiding an earth-destroying comet; and it showed how, even on this huge errand, the man was tripped up at every other minute by his own weakness and vanities; how he lost a train by trifling or was put in gaol for brawling. That is only one of them; there were ten or twenty more. Another, I dimly remember, was a version of the fall of Parnell; the idea that a quite honest man might be secret from a pure love of secrecy, of solitary self-control. I went out of that garden with a blurred sensation of the million possibilities of creative literature. The feeling increased as my way fell back into the wood; for a wood is a palace with a million corridors that cross each other everywhere. I really had the feeling that I had seen the creative quality; which is supernatural. I had seen what Virgil calls the Old Man of the Forest: I had seen an elf. The trees thronged behind my path; I have never seen him again; and now I shall not see him, because he died last Tuesday.

XXI

Un grand’uomo

La gente accusa il giornalismo di essere troppo personale; ma a me è sempre parso fin troppo impersonale. Lo si accusa di strappare i veli dalla vita privata; ma a me sembra che stia sempre calando veli diafani e tuttavia accecanti tra uomo e uomo. La stampa scandalistica viene rimproverata di esporre fatti che sono privati; vorrei che la stampa scandalistica facesse qualcosa di così prezioso. Sono precisamente i tocchi individuali decisivi che essa non fornisce mai; e prova di ciò è che, dopo aver incontrato un uomo un milione di volte sui giornali, è sempre uno shock totale e un capovolgimento incontrarlo nella vita reale. Il giornalista scandalistico pare non avere alcuna facoltà di cogliere il primo fresco fatto intorno a un uomo, quello che domina tutte le impressioni successive. Per esempio, prima di incontrare Bernard Shaw avevo sentito dire che parlava con uno sfrenato desiderio di paradosso o con un ghignante odio del sentimento; ma non seppi, finché non aprì bocca, che parlava con un accento irlandese, il che è più importante di tutte le altre critiche messe insieme.

Il giornalismo non è abbastanza personale. Lungi dallo scavare le personalità private, non riesce nemmeno a riferire le personalità evidenti che stanno in superficie. Ora, vi è un’impressione viva e persino corporea di questo genere, che tutti abbiamo provato quando abbiamo incontrato grandi poeti o politici, ma che non trova mai la via dei giornali. Intendo l’impressione che essi siano molto più vecchi di quanto pensassimo. Colleghiamo i grandi uomini ai loro grandi trionfi, che generalmente avvennero alcuni anni or sono, e molte reclute entusiaste dello smilzo Napoleone di Marengo devono essersi trovate al cospetto del grasso Napoleone di Lipsia.

Ricordo di aver letto su un giornale il resoconto di come un certo politico emergente affrontò la Camera dei Lord con l’entusiasmo quasi d’un fanciullo. Descriveva come la sua «prode voce giovanile» risuonasse fra le travi. Ricordo anche che lo incontrai qualche giorno dopo, ed era considerevolmente più vecchio di mio padre. Menziono questa verità per un solo scopo: tutta questa generalizzazione conduce a un unico fatto — il fatto che una volta incontrai un grand’uomo più giovane di quanto mi aspettassi.

… . .

Ero disceso oltre il muro boscoso, provenendo dai villaggi intorno a Epsom, per un sentiero malfermo tra gli alberi verso la valle in cui giace Dorking. Un caldo raggio di sole si faceva strada attraverso il fogliame; un sole che, pur essendo d’oro senza santità, aveva assunto la qualità della sera. Era un sole di quelli che rammentano all’uomo che il sole comincia a tramontare un istante dopo il mezzogiorno. Pareva affievolirsi via via che il bosco si infittiva e la strada sprofondava.

Provavo una sensazione peculiare di simili discese intricate; sentivo che le cime degli alberi che si chiudevano sopra di me erano le cose fisse e reali, certe come il livello del mare; ma che la solida terra veniva meno a ogni istante sotto i miei piedi. In breve quello splendido sole si mostrava soltanto a chiazze, come stelle fiammeggianti e soli nella cupola del cielo verde. Intorno a me, in quel crepuscolo di smeraldo, si ergevano tronchi d’alberi d’ogni tipo, dritto o contorto; era come una cappella sorretta da colonne d’ogni stile d’architettura terrestre e ultraterrena.

Senza volerlo, la mia mente si riempì di fantasie sulla natura della foresta; sull’intera filosofia del mistero e della forza. Poiché il significato dei boschi è la combinazione dell’energia con la complessità. Una foresta non è affatto rozza o barbara; è soltanto densa di delicatezza. Forme uniche che un artista copierebbe, o che un filosofo osserverebbe per anni se le trovasse in una pianura aperta, sono qui mescolate e confuse; ma non è una tenebra di deformità. È una tenebra di vita; una tenebra di perfezione. E cominciai a pensare quanto gran parte della più alta oscurità umana sia simile a questa, e quanto gli uomini l’abbiano fraintesa. La gente vi dirà, per esempio, che la teologia divenne elaborata perché era morta. Credetemi, se fosse stata morta non sarebbe mai divenuta elaborata; è solo l’albero vivo che mette troppi rami.

… . .

Questi alberi si diradarono e si allontanarono l’uno dall’altro, e sbucai in un’erba folta e in una strada. Ricordo la mia sorpresa che la sera fosse così inoltrata; avevo la fantasia che quella valle avesse un tramonto tutto per sé. Percorsi quella strada seguendo le indicazioni che mi erano state date, e oltrepassai il cancello in una tenue palizzata, oltre la quale il bosco mutava solo debolmente in un giardino. Era come se la curiosa cortesia e finezza di quel personaggio che stavo per incontrare emanasse da lui sulla valle; poiché sentivo su tutte queste cose il dito di quella qualità che gli antichi inglesi chiamavano «faërie»; è la qualità che non potranno mai comprendere coloro che pensano al passato come a qualcosa di meramente brutale; è un’antica eleganza quale si trova negli alberi. Attraversai il giardino e vidi un vecchio seduto accanto a un tavolo, che appariva piuttosto piccolo nella sua grande poltrona. Era già un invalido, e i suoi capelli e la barba erano entrambi bianchi; non come la neve, perché la neve è fredda e pesante, ma come qualcosa di piumoso, o persino fiero; erano piuttosto bianchi come il bianco pappo del cardo. Gli giunsi ben vicino; egli mi guardò mentre tendeva la sua mano fragile, e vidi d’improvviso che i suoi occhi erano sorprendentemente giovani. Era l’unico grand’uomo del vecchio mondo che io abbia incontrato a non essere una semplice statua sulla propria tomba.

Era sordo e parlava come un torrente. Non parlava dei libri che aveva scritto; era di gran lunga troppo vivo per questo. Parlava dei libri che non aveva scritto. Srotolò un fascio purpureo di romanzi che non aveva mai avuto il tempo di vendere. Mi chiese di scrivere per lui una delle storie, come l’avrebbe chiesto al lattaio, se avesse parlato con il lattaio. Era una storia splendida e frenetica, una sorta di farsa astronomica. Trattava tutta d’un uomo che si precipitava alla Royal Society con l’unico modo possibile di evitare una cometa distruttrice della terra; e mostrava come, persino in questa immane impresa, l’uomo venisse ostacolato ogni due minuti dalle proprie debolezze e vanità; come perdesse un treno per un’inezia o venisse cacciato in gattabuia per rissa. Questa è solo una di esse; ve n’erano altre dieci o venti. Un’altra, ricordo confusamente, era una versione della caduta di Parnell; l’idea che un uomo del tutto onesto potesse essere segreto per puro amore della segretezza, del solitario autocontrollo. Uscii da quel giardino con una confusa sensazione del milione di possibilità della letteratura creativa. La sensazione crebbe mentre il mio cammino ripiegava nel bosco; poiché un bosco è un palazzo con un milione di corridoi che si incrociano dappertutto. Avevo davvero la sensazione di aver visto la qualità creativa; che è soprannaturale. Avevo visto ciò che Virgilio chiama il Vecchio della Foresta: avevo visto un elfo. Gli alberi si affollarono dietro il mio sentiero; non l’ho mai più rivisto; e ora non lo rivedrò, perché è morto martedì scorso.

XXII

The Orthodox Barber

Those thinkers who cannot believe in any gods often assert that the love of humanity would be in itself sufficient for them; and so, perhaps, it would, if they had it. There is a very real thing which may be called the love of humanity; in our time it exists almost entirely among what are called uneducated people; and it does not exist at all among the people who talk about it.

A positive pleasure in being in the presence of any other human being is chiefly remarkable, for instance, in the masses on Bank Holiday; that is why they are so much nearer Heaven (despite appearances) than any other part of our population.

I remember seeing a crowd of factory girls getting into an empty train at a wayside country station. There were about twenty of them; they all got into one carriage; and they left all the rest of the train entirely empty. That is the real love of humanity. That is the definite pleasure in the immediate proximity of one’s own kind. Only this coarse, rank, real love of men seems to be entirely lacking in those who propose the love of humanity as a substitute for all other love; honourable, rationalistic idealists.

I can well remember the explosion of human joy which marked the sudden starting of that train; all the factory girls who could not find seats (and they must have been the majority) relieving their feelings by jumping up and down. Now I have never seen any rationalistic idealists do this. I have never seen twenty modern philosophers crowd into one third-class carriage for the mere pleasure of being together. I have never seen twenty Mr. McCabes all in one carriage and all jumping up and down.

Some people express a fear that vulgar trippers will overrun all beautiful places, such as Hampstead or Burnham Beeches. But their fear is unreasonable; because trippers always prefer to trip together; they pack as close as they can; they have a suffocating passion of philanthropy.

… . .

But among the minor and milder aspects of the same principle, I have no hesitation in placing the problem of the colloquial barber. Before any modern man talks with authority about loving men, I insist (I insist with violence) that he shall always be very much pleased when his barber tries to talk to him. His barber is humanity: let him love that. If he is not pleased at this, I will not accept any substitute in the way of interest in the Congo or the future of Japan. If a man cannot love his barber whom he has seen, how shall he love the Japanese whom he has not seen?

It is urged against the barber that he begins by talking about the weather; so do all dukes and diplomatists, only that they talk about it with ostentatious fatigue and indifference, whereas the barber talks about it with an astonishing, nay incredible, freshness of interest. It is objected to him that he tells people that they are going bald. That is to say, his very virtues are cast up against him; he is blamed because, being a specialist, he is a sincere specialist, and because, being a tradesman, he is not entirely a slave. But the only proof of such things is by example; therefore I will prove the excellence of the conversation of barbers by a specific case. Lest any one should accuse me of attempting to prove it by fictitious means, I beg to say quite seriously that though I forget the exact language employed, the following conversation between me and a human (I trust), living barber really took place a few days ago.

… . .

I had been invited to some At Home to meet the Colonial Premiers, and lest I should be mistaken for some partly reformed bush-ranger out of the interior of Australia I went into a shop in the Strand to get shaved. While I was undergoing the torture the man said to me:

“There seems to be a lot in the papers about this new shaving, sir. It seems you can shave yourself with anything—with a stick or a stone or a pole or a poker” (here I began for the first time to detect a sarcastic intonation) “or a shovel or a----”

Here he hesitated for a word, and I, although I knew nothing about the matter, helped him out with suggestions in the same rhetorical vein.

“Or a button-hook,” I said, “or a blunderbuss or a battering-ram or a piston-rod----”

He resumed, refreshed with this assistance, “Or a curtain rod or a candle-stick, or a----”

“Cow-catcher,” I suggested eagerly, and we continued in this ecstatic duet for some time. Then I asked him what it was all about, and he told me. He explained the thing eloquently and at length.

“The funny part of it is,” he said, “that the thing isn’t new at all. It’s been talked about ever since I was a boy, and long before. There is always a notion that the razor might be done without somehow. But none of those schemes ever came to anything; and I don’t believe myself that this will.”

“Why, as to that,” I said, rising slowly from the chair and trying to put on my coat inside out, “I don’t know how it may be in the case of you and your new shaving. Shaving, with all respect to you, is a trivial and materialistic thing, and in such things startling inventions are sometimes made. But what you say reminds me in some dark and dreamy fashion of something else. I recall it especially when you tell me, with such evident experience and sincerity, that the new shaving is not really new. My friend, the human race is always trying this dodge of making everything entirely easy; but the difficulty which it shifts off one thing it shifts on to another. If one man has not the toil of preparing a man’s chin, I suppose that some other man has the toil of preparing something very curious to put on a man’s chin. It would be nice if we could be shaved without troubling anybody. It would be nicer still if we could go unshaved without annoying anybody—

“‘But, O wise friend, chief Barber of the Strand, Brother, nor you nor I have made the world.’

Whoever made it, who is wiser, and we hope better than we, made it under strange limitations, and with painful conditions of pleasure.

“In the first and darkest of its books it is fiercely written that a man shall not eat his cake and have it; and though all men talked until the stars were old it would still be true that a man who has lost his razor could not shave with it. But every now and then men jump up with the new something or other and say that everything can be had without sacrifice, that bad is good if you are only enlightened, and that there is no real difference between being shaved and not being shaved. The difference, they say, is only a difference of degree; everything is evolutionary and relative. Shavedness is immanent in man. Every ten-penny nail is a Potential Razor. The superstitious people of the past (they say) believed that a lot of black bristles standing out at right angles to one’s face was a positive affair. But the higher criticism teaches us better. Bristles are merely negative. They are a Shadow where Shaving should be.

Well, it all goes on, and I suppose it all means something. But a baby is the Kingdom of God, and if you try to kiss a baby he will know whether you are shaved or not. Perhaps I am mixing up being shaved and being saved; my democratic sympathies have always led me to drop my ‘h’s.’ In another moment I may suggest that goats represent the lost because goats have long beards. This is growing altogether too allegorical.

“Nevertheless,” I added, as I paid the bill, “I have really been profoundly interested in what you told me about the New Shaving. Have you ever heard of a thing called the New theology?”

He smiled and said that he had not.

XXII

Il barbiere ortodosso

Quei pensatori che non riescono a credere in alcun dio spesso affermano che l’amore dell’umanità sarebbe di per sé sufficiente per loro; e forse lo sarebbe, se lo possedessero. Vi è una cosa assai reale che si può chiamare l’amore dell’umanità; ai nostri tempi esso esiste quasi interamente fra coloro che si chiamano gli incolti; e non esiste affatto fra le persone che ne parlano.

Un piacere positivo nell’essere alla presenza di un qualsiasi altro essere umano è cosa notevole soprattutto, per esempio, nelle masse nel giorno di festa; ecco perché esse sono molto più vicine al Cielo (nonostante le apparenze) di qualsiasi altra parte della nostra popolazione.

Ricordo di aver visto una folla di operaie salire su un treno vuoto a una stazione di campagna lungo la via. Ce n’erano circa venti; salirono tutte in una sola carrozza; e lasciarono del tutto vuoto tutto il resto del treno. Questo è il vero amore dell’umanità. Questo è il piacere ben definito nell’immediata prossimità dei propri simili. Solo questo greve, rozzo, reale amore degli uomini sembra mancare del tutto in coloro che propongono l’amore dell’umanità come sostituto di ogni altro amore; onorevoli, razionalistici idealisti.

Ricordo bene l’esplosione di gioia umana che segnò l’improvviso partire di quel treno; tutte le operaie che non trovavano posto a sedere (e dovevano essere la maggioranza) sfogavano i loro sentimenti saltando su e giù. Ora, non ho mai visto alcun idealista razionalista far questo. Non ho mai visto venti filosofi moderni stiparsi in una sola carrozza di terza classe per il puro piacere di stare insieme. Non ho mai visto venti signori McCabe tutti in una sola carrozza e tutti a saltare su e giù.

Alcuni esprimono il timore che i volgari gitanti invadano tutti i luoghi belli, come Hampstead o Burnham Beeches. Ma il loro timore è irragionevole; poiché i gitanti preferiscono sempre gitare insieme; si ammassano quanto più possono; hanno una soffocante passione di filantropia.

… . .

Ma fra gli aspetti minori e più miti dello stesso principio, non ho esitazione a collocare il problema del barbiere loquace. Prima che un uomo moderno parli con autorità dell’amare gli uomini, io insisto (insisto con violenza) che egli debba sempre compiacersi assai quando il suo barbiere cerca di parlargli. Il suo barbiere è l’umanità: lo ami dunque. Se non se ne compiace, non accetterò alcun surrogato sotto forma di interesse per il Congo o per il futuro del Giappone. Se un uomo non sa amare il suo barbiere che ha veduto, come amerà i giapponesi che non ha veduto?

Si rimprovera al barbiere che egli comincia parlando del tempo; così fanno tutti i duchi e i diplomatici, solo che ne parlano con ostentata stanchezza e indifferenza, mentre il barbiere ne parla con una stupefacente, anzi incredibile, freschezza d’interesse. Gli si obietta che dice alla gente che sta diventando calva. Vale a dire, le sue stesse virtù gli vengono rinfacciate; lo si biasima perché, essendo uno specialista, è uno specialista sincero, e perché, essendo un bottegaio, non è del tutto uno schiavo. Ma l’unica prova di simili cose è l’esempio; perciò proverò l’eccellenza della conversazione dei barbieri con un caso specifico. Perché nessuno mi accusi di tentare di provarla con mezzi fittizi, tengo a dire assai seriamente che, benché io dimentichi il linguaggio esatto impiegato, la conversazione seguente fra me e un umano (spero), vivente barbiere ebbe davvero luogo pochi giorni fa.

… . .

Ero stato invitato a un ricevimento in casa per incontrare i Premier coloniali, e, per non essere scambiato per qualche bandito di boscaglia solo in parte redento, uscito dall’interno dell’Australia, entrai in un negozio nello Strand per farmi radere. Mentre subivo la tortura, l’uomo mi disse:

«Pare che ci sia molto sui giornali intorno a questa nuova rasatura, signore. Pare che ci si possa radere con qualsiasi cosa—con un bastone o una pietra o un palo o un attizzatoio» (qui cominciai per la prima volta a scorgere un’intonazione sarcastica) «o una pala o un——»

Qui esitò in cerca di una parola, e io, benché non sapessi nulla della faccenda, lo aiutai con suggerimenti nella stessa vena retorica.

«O un uncino da bottoni,» dissi, «o uno schioppo o un ariete o un’asta di pistone——»

Riprese, rinfrancato da questo aiuto: «O un bastone da tenda o un candeliere, o un——»

«Uno spazzavacche,» suggerii con entusiasmo, e proseguimmo in questo estatico duetto per qualche tempo. Poi gli chiesi di che si trattasse, ed egli me lo disse. Spiegò la cosa con eloquenza e per esteso.

«La parte buffa,» disse, «è che la cosa non è affatto nuova. Se ne parla fin da quando ero ragazzo, e da molto prima. C’è sempre l’idea che il rasoio si potrebbe in qualche modo evitare. Ma nessuno di quei progetti approdò mai a nulla; e io per primo non credo che questo ci riuscirà.»

«Ebbene, quanto a ciò,» dissi, alzandomi lentamente dalla sedia e cercando di infilarmi la giacca a rovescio, «non so come possa stare la faccenda nel caso vostro e della vostra nuova rasatura. La rasatura, con tutto il rispetto per voi, è cosa triviale e materialistica, e in tali cose talvolta si fanno invenzioni sorprendenti. Ma ciò che dite mi rammenta, in qualche oscura e sognante maniera, qualcos’altro. Lo rammento specialmente quando mi dite, con tanta evidente esperienza e sincerità, che la nuova rasatura non è realmente nuova. Amico mio, la razza umana tenta sempre questo espediente di rendere ogni cosa interamente facile; ma la difficoltà che essa toglie da una cosa la trasferisce su un’altra. Se un uomo non ha la fatica di preparare il mento di un altro uomo, suppongo che qualche altro uomo abbia la fatica di preparare qualcosa di assai curioso da mettere sul mento di un uomo. Sarebbe bello se potessimo essere rasati senza disturbare nessuno. Sarebbe ancor più bello se potessimo andare non rasati senza infastidire nessuno——

‘Ma, o saggio amico, sommo Barbiere dello Strand, Fratello, né tu né io abbiamo fatto il mondo.’

Chiunque l’abbia fatto, che è più saggio, e noi lo speriamo migliore di noi, lo fece sotto strane limitazioni, e con dolorose condizioni di piacere.

Nel primo e più oscuro dei suoi libri sta ferocemente scritto che un uomo non potrà mangiare la sua torta e insieme conservarla; e per quanto tutti gli uomini parlassero finché le stelle fossero vecchie, resterebbe pur vero che un uomo che ha perduto il suo rasoio non potrebbe radersi con esso. Ma di tanto in tanto gli uomini balzano su con il nuovo qualcosa e dicono che tutto si può ottenere senza sacrificio, che il male è bene purché si sia soltanto illuminati, e che non v’è reale differenza fra l’essere rasati e il non esserlo. La differenza, dicono, è solo una differenza di grado; tutto è evolutivo e relativo. La rasatezza è immanente nell’uomo. Ogni chiodo da due soldi è un Rasoio in Potenza. Le persone superstiziose del passato (dicono) credevano che una quantità di setole nere sporgenti ad angolo retto dal viso fosse un fatto positivo. Ma l’alta critica ci istruisce meglio. Le setole sono meramente negative. Sono un’Ombra dove dovrebbe esserci la Rasatura.

«Ebbene, tutto va avanti, e suppongo che tutto significhi qualcosa. Ma un bambino è il Regno di Dio, e se cercate di baciare un bambino, egli saprà se siete rasati o no. Forse sto confondendo l’essere rasati con l’essere salvati; le mie simpatie democratiche mi hanno sempre indotto a mangiarmi le acca. Fra un istante potrei suggerire che le capre rappresentino i perduti perché le capre hanno lunghe barbe. Questo sta diventando decisamente troppo allegorico.»

«Nondimeno,» aggiunsi, mentre pagavo il conto, «sono stato davvero profondamente interessato a ciò che mi avete detto sulla Nuova Rasatura. Avete mai sentito parlare di una cosa chiamata la Nuova teologia?»

Egli sorrise e disse di no.

XXIII

The Toy Theatre

There is only one reason why all grown-up people do not play with toys; and it is a fair reason. The reason is that playing with toys takes so very much more time and trouble than anything else. Playing as children mean playing is the most serious thing in the world; and as soon as we have small duties or small sorrows we have to abandon to some extent so enormous and ambitious a plan of life. We have enough strength for politics and commerce and art and philosophy; we have not enough strength for play. This is a truth which every one will recognize who, as a child, has ever played with anything at all; any one who has played with bricks, any one who has played with dolls, any one who has played with tin soldiers. My journalistic work, which earns money, is not pursued with such awful persistency as that work which earned nothing.

… . .

Take the case of bricks. If you publish a book to-morrow in twelve volumes (it would be just like you) on “The Theory and Practice of European Architecture,” your work may be laborious, but it is fundamentally frivolous. It is not serious as the work of a child piling one brick on the other is serious; for the simple reason that if your book is a bad book no one will ever be able ultimately and entirely to prove to you that it is a bad book. Whereas if his balance of bricks is a bad balance of bricks, it will simply tumble down. And if I know anything of children, he will set to work solemnly and sadly to build it up again. Whereas, if I know anything of authors, nothing would induce you to write your book again, or even to think of it again if you could help it.

Take the case of dolls. It is much easier to care for an educational cause than to care for a doll. It is as easy to write an article on education as to write an article on toffee or tramcars or anything else. But it is almost as difficult to look after a doll as to look after a child. The little girls that I meet in the little streets of Battersea worship their dolls in a way that reminds one not so much of play as idolatry. In some cases the love and care of the artistic symbol has actually become more important than the human reality which it was, I suppose, originally meant to symbolize.

I remember a Battersea little girl who wheeled her large baby sister stuffed into a doll’s perambulator. When questioned on this course of conduct, she replied: “I haven’t got a dolly, and Baby is pretending to be my dolly.” Nature was indeed imitating art. First a doll had been a substitute for a child; afterwards a child was a mere substitute for a doll. But that opens other matters; the point is here that such devotion takes up most of the brain and most of the life; much as if it were really the thing which it is supposed to symbolize. The point is that the man writing on motherhood is merely an educationalist; the child playing with a doll is a mother.

Take the case of soldiers. A man writing an article on military strategy is simply a man writing an article; a horrid sight. But a boy making a campaign with tin soldiers is like a General making a campaign with live soldiers. He must to the limit of his juvenile powers think about the thing; whereas the war correspondent need not think at all. I remember a war correspondent who remarked after the capture of Methuen: “This renewed activity on the part of Delarey is probably due to his being short of stores.” The same military critic had mentioned a few paragraphs before that Delarey was being hard pressed by a column which was pursuing him under the command of Methuen. Methuen chased Delarey; and Delarey’s activity was due to his being short of stores. Otherwise he would have stood quite still while he was chased. I run after Jones with a hatchet, and if he turns round and tries to get rid of me the only possible explanation is that he has a very small balance at his bankers. I cannot believe that any boy playing at soldiers would be as idiotic as this. But then any one playing at anything has to be serious. Whereas, as I have only too good reason to know, if you are writing an article you can say anything that comes into your head.

… . .

Broadly, then, what keeps adults from joining in children’s games is, generally speaking, not that they have no pleasure in them; it is simply that they have no leisure for them. It is that they cannot afford the expenditure of toil and time and consideration for so grand and grave a scheme. I have been myself attempting for some time past to complete a play in a small toy theatre, the sort of toy theatre that used to be called Penny Plain and Twopence Coloured; only that I drew and coloured the figures and scenes myself. Hence I was free from the degrading obligation of having to pay either a penny or twopence; I only had to pay a shilling a sheet for good cardboard and a shilling a box for bad water colours. The kind of miniature stage I mean is probably familiar to every one; it is never more than a development of the stage which Skelt made and Stevenson celebrated.

But though I have worked much harder at the toy theatre than I ever worked at any tale or article, I cannot finish it; the work seems too heavy for me. I have to break off and betake myself to lighter employments; such as the biographies of great men. The play of “St. George and the Dragon,” over which I have burnt the midnight oil (you must colour the thing by lamplight because that is how it will be seen), still lacks most conspicuously, alas! two wings of the Sultan’s Palace, and also some comprehensible and workable way of getting up the curtain.

All this gives me a feeling touching the real meaning of immortality. In this world we cannot have pure pleasure. This is partly because pure pleasure would be dangerous to us and to our neighbours. But it is partly because pure pleasure is a great deal too much trouble. If I am ever in any other and better world, I hope that I shall have enough time to play with nothing but toy theatres; and I hope that I shall have enough divine and superhuman energy to act at least one play in them without a hitch.

… . .

Meanwhile the philosophy of toy theatres is worth any one’s consideration. All the essential morals which modern men need to learn could be deduced from this toy. Artistically considered, it reminds us of the main principle of art, the principle which is in most danger of being forgotten in our time. I mean the fact that art consists of limitation; the fact that art is limitation. Art does not consist in expanding things. Art consists of cutting things down, as I cut down with a pair of scissors my very ugly figures of St. George and the Dragon. Plato, who liked definite ideas, would like my cardboard dragon; for though the creature has few other artistic merits he is at least dragonish. The modern philosopher, who likes infinity, is quite welcome to a sheet of the plain cardboard. The most artistic thing about the theatrical art is the fact that the spectator looks at the whole thing through a window. This is true even of theatres inferior to my own; even at the Court Theatre or His Majesty’s you are looking through a window; an unusually large window. But the advantage of the small theatre exactly is that you are looking through a small window. Has not every one noticed how sweet and startling any landscape looks when seen through an arch? This strong, square shape, this shutting off of everything else is not only an assistance to beauty; it is the essential of beauty. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.

This especially is true of the toy theatre; that, by reducing the scale of events it can introduce much larger events. Because it is small it could easily represent the earthquake in Jamaica. Because it is small it could easily represent the Day of Judgment. Exactly in so far as it is limited, so far it could play easily with falling cities or with falling stars. Meanwhile the big theatres are obliged to be economical because they are big. When we have understood this fact we shall have understood something of the reason why the world has always been first inspired by small nationalities. The vast Greek philosophy could fit easier into the small city of Athens than into the immense Empire of Persia. In the narrow streets of Florence Dante felt that there was room for Purgatory and Heaven and Hell. He would have been stifled by the British Empire. Great empires are necessarily prosaic; for it is beyond human power to act a great poem upon so great a scale. You can only represent very big ideas in very small spaces. My toy theatre is as philosophical as the drama of Athens.

XXIII

Il teatrino dei giocattoli

C’è una sola ragione per cui tutte le persone adulte non giocano con i giocattoli; ed è una ragione giusta. La ragione è che giocare con i giocattoli richiede molto più tempo e fatica di qualsiasi altra cosa. Giocare come intendono giocare i bambini è la cosa più seria del mondo; e non appena abbiamo piccoli doveri o piccoli dolori dobbiamo abbandonare in qualche misura un piano di vita così enorme e ambizioso. Abbiamo forza sufficiente per la politica e il commercio e l’arte e la filosofia; non abbiamo forza sufficiente per il gioco. Questa è una verità che riconoscerà chiunque, da bambino, abbia mai giocato con qualsiasi cosa; chiunque abbia giocato con i mattoncini, chiunque abbia giocato con le bambole, chiunque abbia giocato con i soldatini di stagno. Il mio lavoro giornalistico, che frutta denaro, non è perseguito con una persistenza così tremenda come quel lavoro che non fruttava nulla.

… . .

Prendete il caso dei mattoncini. Se pubblicate domani un libro in dodici volumi (sarebbe proprio da voi) su «La teoria e la pratica dell’architettura europea», la vostra opera potrà essere laboriosa, ma è fondamentalmente frivola. Non è seria come è seria l’opera di un bambino che accatasta un mattoncino sull’altro; per la semplice ragione che se il vostro libro è un cattivo libro nessuno potrà mai, in ultima analisi e interamente, provarvi che è un cattivo libro. Mentre se il suo equilibrio di mattoncini è un cattivo equilibrio di mattoncini, esso semplicemente crollerà. E se so qualcosa dei bambini, egli si metterà al lavoro solennemente e mestamente per ricostruirlo. Mentre, se so qualcosa degli autori, nulla vi indurrebbe a riscrivere il vostro libro, o anche solo a ripensarci, se poteste evitarlo.

Prendete il caso delle bambole. È molto più facile prendersi cura di una causa educativa che di una bambola. È altrettanto facile scrivere un articolo sull’educazione quanto scriverne uno sul croccante o sui tram o su qualsiasi altra cosa. Ma è quasi altrettanto difficile badare a una bambola quanto badare a un bambino. Le bambine che incontro nelle stradine di Battersea adorano le loro bambole in un modo che ricorda non tanto il gioco quanto l’idolatria. In alcuni casi l’amore e la cura del simbolo artistico sono divenuti in realtà più importanti della realtà umana che esso, suppongo, era in origine inteso a simboleggiare.

Ricordo una bambina di Battersea che spingeva la sua grossa sorellina, cacciata dentro una carrozzina da bambola. Interrogata su tale condotta, rispose: «Non ho una bambolina, e la Bimba fa finta di essere la mia bambolina.» La Natura imitava davvero l’arte. Dapprima una bambola era stata un sostituto di un bambino; poi un bambino era un mero sostituto di una bambola. Ma questo apre altri temi; il punto qui è che una simile devozione occupa la maggior parte del cervello e la maggior parte della vita; quasi come se fosse davvero la cosa che si suppone essa simboleggi. Il punto è che l’uomo che scrive sulla maternità è semplicemente un pedagogo; la bambina che gioca con una bambola è una madre.

Prendete il caso dei soldati. Un uomo che scrive un articolo di strategia militare è semplicemente un uomo che scrive un articolo; uno spettacolo orrendo. Ma un ragazzo che conduce una campagna con soldatini di stagno è come un Generale che conduce una campagna con soldati vivi. Egli deve, fino al limite delle sue giovanili facoltà, pensare alla cosa; mentre il corrispondente di guerra non ha affatto bisogno di pensare. Ricordo un corrispondente di guerra che osservò, dopo la cattura di Methuen: «Questa rinnovata attività da parte di Delarey è probabilmente dovuta alla sua penuria di rifornimenti.» Lo stesso critico militare aveva menzionato pochi paragrafi prima che Delarey era incalzato da una colonna che lo inseguiva al comando di Methuen. Methuen inseguiva Delarey; e l’attività di Delarey era dovuta alla sua penuria di rifornimenti. Altrimenti sarebbe rimasto del tutto fermo mentre veniva inseguito. Io corro dietro a Jones con un’accetta, e se egli si volta e cerca di sbarazzarsi di me, l’unica spiegazione possibile è che egli ha un saldo assai esiguo presso i suoi banchieri. Non posso credere che un qualsiasi ragazzo che gioca ai soldati sarebbe tanto idiota. Ma d’altronde chiunque giochi a qualsiasi cosa deve essere serio. Mentre, come ho fin troppe buone ragioni per sapere, se scrivete un articolo potete dire qualsiasi cosa vi passi per la testa.

… . .

In breve, dunque, ciò che trattiene gli adulti dall’unirsi ai giochi dei bambini è, generalmente parlando, non il fatto che non vi trovino piacere; è semplicemente che non hanno agio per essi. È che non possono permettersi il dispendio di fatica e tempo e considerazione per un disegno così grandioso e grave. Io stesso ho tentato per qualche tempo, da un po’ a questa parte, di completare una recita in un piccolo teatrino di giocattoli, il tipo di teatrino che si soleva chiamare Penny Plain e Twopence Coloured; solo che disegnai e colorai io stesso le figure e le scene. Sicché ero libero dall’obbligo degradante di dover pagare un penny o due; dovevo soltanto pagare uno scellino a foglio per il buon cartoncino e uno scellino a scatola per scadenti colori ad acqua. Il tipo di palcoscenico in miniatura che intendo è probabilmente familiare a tutti; non è mai altro che uno sviluppo del palcoscenico che Skelt fabbricò e Stevenson celebrò.

Ma benché io abbia lavorato assai più duramente al teatrino di quanto abbia mai lavorato a qualsiasi racconto o articolo, non riesco a finirlo; il lavoro sembra troppo gravoso per me. Devo interrompere e dedicarmi a impieghi più leggeri; come le biografie dei grandi uomini. La recita di «San Giorgio e il Drago», sulla quale ho consumato l’olio di mezzanotte (dovete colorare la cosa a luce di lampada, perché è così che verrà veduta), manca ancora, ahimè, nel modo più vistoso, di due ali del Palazzo del Sultano, e anche di un qualche modo comprensibile e praticabile di alzare il sipario.

Tutto ciò mi dà un sentimento che tocca il vero significato dell’immortalità. In questo mondo non possiamo avere il puro piacere. Ciò in parte perché il puro piacere sarebbe pericoloso per noi e per i nostri vicini. Ma in parte perché il puro piacere è cosa fin troppo faticosa. Se mai sarò in un altro e migliore mondo, spero di avere tempo sufficiente per giocare con nient’altro che teatrini di giocattoli; e spero di avere energia sufficiente, divina e sovrumana, per recitarvi almeno una recita senza intoppi.

… . .

Nel frattempo la filosofia dei teatrini di giocattoli merita la considerazione di chiunque. Tutte le morali essenziali che gli uomini moderni hanno bisogno di apprendere potrebbero dedursi da questo giocattolo. Considerato artisticamente, esso ci rammenta il principio cardine dell’arte, il principio che più corre pericolo di essere dimenticato ai nostri tempi. Intendo il fatto che l’arte consiste nella limitazione; il fatto che l’arte è limitazione. L’arte non consiste nel dilatare le cose. L’arte consiste nel ridurre le cose, come io ho ridotto con un paio di forbici le mie bruttissime figure di San Giorgio e del Drago. Platone, che amava le idee definite, amerebbe il mio drago di cartone; poiché, benché la creatura abbia pochi altri meriti artistici, è quanto meno draghesca. Il filosofo moderno, che ama l’infinito, è liberissimo di prendersi un foglio del semplice cartone. La cosa più artistica dell’arte teatrale è il fatto che lo spettatore guarda l’intera cosa attraverso una finestra. Questo è vero anche dei teatri inferiori al mio; anche al Court Theatre o all’His Majesty’s voi guardate attraverso una finestra; una finestra insolitamente grande. Ma il vantaggio del piccolo teatro sta appunto in questo, che voi guardate attraverso una piccola finestra. Non ha forse ciascuno notato quanto dolce e sorprendente appaia un qualsiasi paesaggio quando lo si vede attraverso un arco? Questa forma robusta e quadra, questo escludere ogni altra cosa non è solo un aiuto alla bellezza; è l’essenziale della bellezza. La parte più bella di ogni quadro è la cornice.

Questo vale specialmente per il teatrino di giocattoli; che, riducendo la scala degli eventi, può introdurre eventi assai più grandi. Perché è piccolo, potrebbe facilmente rappresentare il terremoto in Giamaica. Perché è piccolo, potrebbe facilmente rappresentare il Giorno del Giudizio. Esattamente nella misura in cui è limitato, in quella misura potrebbe giocare agevolmente con città che crollano o con stelle che cadono. Nel frattempo i grandi teatri sono obbligati a essere parsimoniosi perché sono grandi. Quando avremo compreso questo fatto, avremo compreso qualcosa della ragione per cui il mondo è sempre stato ispirato dapprima da piccole nazionalità. La vasta filosofia greca poteva entrare più agevolmente nella piccola città di Atene che nell’immenso Impero di Persia. Nelle strette vie di Firenze Dante sentiva che c’era posto per il Purgatorio e il Paradiso e l’Inferno. Sarebbe stato soffocato dall’Impero Britannico. I grandi imperi sono necessariamente prosaici; poiché è al di là dell’umano potere recitare un grande poema su scala così grande. Si possono rappresentare idee molto grandi solo in spazi molto piccoli. Il mio teatrino di giocattoli è tanto filosofico quanto il dramma di Atene.

XXIV

A Tragedy of Twopence

My relations with the readers of this page have been long and pleasant, but—perhaps for that very reason— I feel that the time has come when I ought to confess the one great crime of my life. It happened a long time ago; but it is not uncommon for a belated burst of remorse to reveal such dark episodes long after they have occurred. It has nothing to do with the orgies of the Anti-Puritan League. That body is so offensively respectable that a newspaper, in describing it the other day, referred to my friend Mr. Edgar Jepson as Canon Edgar Jepson; and it is believed that similar titles are intended for all of us. No; it is not by the conduct of Archbishop Crane, of Dean Chesterton, of the Rev. James Douglas, of Monsignor Bland, and even of that fine and virile old ecclesiastic, Cardinal Nesbit, that I wish (or rather, am driven by my conscience) to make this declaration. The crime was committed in solitude and without accomplices. Alone I did it. Let me, with the characteristic thirst of penitents to get the worst of the confession over, state it first of all in its most dreadful and indefensible form. There is at the present moment in a town in Germany (unless he has died of rage on discovering his wrong), a restaurant-keeper to whom I still owe twopence. I last left his open-air restaurant knowing that I owed him twopence. I carried it away under his nose, despite the fact that the nose was a decidedly Jewish one. I have never paid him, and it is highly improbable that I ever shall. How did this villainy come to occur in a life which has been, generally speaking, deficient in the dexterity necessary for fraud? The story is as follows—and it has a moral, though there may not be room for that.

… . .

It is a fair general rule for those travelling on the Continent that the easiest way of talking in a foreign language is to talk philosophy. The most difficult kind of talking is to talk about common necessities. The reason is obvious. The names of common necessities vary completely with each nation and are generally somewhat odd and quaint. How, for instance, could a Frenchman suppose that a coalbox would be called a “scuttle”? If he has ever seen the word scuttle it has been in the Jingo Press, where the “policy of scuttle” is used whenever we give up something to a small Power like Liberals, instead of giving up everything to a great Power, like Imperialists. What Englishman in Germany would be poet enough to guess that the Germans call a glove a “hand-shoe.” Nations name their necessities by nicknames, so to speak. They call their tubs and stools by quaint, elvish, and almost affectionate names, as if they were their own children! But any one can argue about abstract things in a foreign language who has ever got as far as Exercise IV. in a primer. For as soon as he can put a sentence together at all he finds that the words used in abstract or philosophical discussions are almost the same in all nations. They are the same, for the simple reason that they all come from the things that were the roots of our common civilisation. From Christianity, from the Roman Empire, from the mediaeval Church, or the French Revolution. “Nation,” “citizen,” “religion,” “philosophy,” “authority,” “the Republic,” words like these are nearly the same in all the countries in which we travel. Restrain, therefore, your exuberant admiration for the young man who can argue with six French atheists when he first lands at Dieppe. Even I can do that. But very likely the same young man does not know the French for a shoe-horn. But to this generalisation there are three great exceptions. (1) In the case of countries that are not European at all, and have never had our civic conceptions, or the old Latin scholarship. I do not pretend that the Patagonian phrase for “citizenship” at once leaps to the mind, or that a Dyak’s word for “the Republic” has been familiar to me from the nursery. (2) In the case of Germany, where, although the principle does apply to many words such as “nation” and “philosophy,” it does not apply so generally, because Germany has had a special and deliberate policy of encouraging the purely German part of its language. (3) In the case where one does not know any of the language at all, as is generally the case with me.

… . .

Such at least was my situation on the dark day on which I committed my crime. Two of the exceptional conditions which I have mentioned were combined. I was walking about a German town, and I knew no German. I knew, however, two or three of those great and solemn words which hold our European civilisation together—one of which is “cigar.” As it was a hot and dreamy day, I sat down at a table in a sort of beer-garden, and ordered a cigar and a pot of lager. I drank the lager, and paid for it. I smoked the cigar, forgot to pay for it, and walked away, gazing rapturously at the royal outline of the Taunus mountains. After about ten minutes, I suddenly remembered that I had not paid for the cigar. I went back to the place of refreshment, and put down the money. But the proprietor also had forgotten the cigar, and he merely said guttural things in a tone of query, asking me, I suppose, what I wanted. I said “cigar,” and he gave me a cigar. I endeavoured while putting down the money to wave away the cigar with gestures of refusal. He thought that my rejection was of the nature of a condemnation of that particular cigar, and brought me another. I whirled my arms like a windmill, seeking to convey by the sweeping universality of my gesture that my rejection was a rejection of cigars in general, not of that particular article. He mistook this for the ordinary impatience of common men, and rushed forward, his hands filled with miscellaneous cigars, pressing them upon me. In desperation I tried other kinds of pantomime, but the more cigars I refused the more and more rare and precious cigars were brought out of the deeps and recesses of the establishment. I tried in vain to think of a way of conveying to him the fact that I had already had the cigar. I imitated the action of a citizen smoking, knocking off and throwing away a cigar. The watchful proprietor only thought I was rehearsing (as in an ecstasy of anticipation) the joys of the cigar he was going to give me. At last I retired baffled: he would not take the money and leave the cigars alone. So that this restaurant-keeper (in whose face a love of money shone like the sun at noonday) flatly and firmly refused to receive the twopence that I certainly owed him; and I took that twopence of his away with me and rioted on it for months. I hope that on the last day the angels will break the truth very gently to that unhappy man.

… . .

This is the true and exact account of the Great Cigar Fraud, and the moral of it is this—that civilisation is founded upon abstractions. The idea of debt is one which cannot be conveyed by physical motions at all, because it is an abstract idea. And civilisation obviously would be nothing without debt. So when hard-headed fellows who study scientific sociology (which does not exist) come and tell you that civilisation is material or indifferent to the abstract, just ask yourselves how many of the things that make up our Society, the Law, or the Stocks and Shares, or the National Debt, you would be able to convey with your face and your ten fingers by grinning and gesticulating to a German innkeeper.

XXIV

Una Tragedia da due soldi

Le mie relazioni coi lettori di questa pagina sono state lunghe e piacevoli, ma — forse proprio per questo — sento che è giunto il momento in cui dovrei confessare l’unico grande delitto della mia vita. Accadde molto tempo fa; ma non è raro che un tardivo accesso di rimorso riveli simili oscuri episodi molto dopo che sono avvenuti. Non ha nulla a che vedere con le orge della Lega Antipuritana. Quel sodalizio è così offensivamente rispettabile che un giornale, descrivendolo l’altro giorno, definì il mio amico signor Edgar Jepson «canonico Edgar Jepson»; e si ritiene che titoli simili siano destinati a tutti noi. No; non è a proposito della condotta dell’arcivescovo Crane, del decano Chesterton, del reverendo James Douglas, di monsignor Bland, e persino di quel nobile e virile vecchio ecclesiastico, il cardinale Nesbit, che desidero (o piuttosto sono spinto dalla mia coscienza) fare questa dichiarazione. Il delitto fu commesso in solitudine e senza complici. Lo commisi solo. Lasciate che, con la caratteristica sete dei penitenti di sbrigare per primo il peggio della confessione, lo enunci anzitutto nella sua forma più tremenda e indifendibile. C’è in questo preciso momento in una città della Germania (a meno che non sia morto di rabbia scoprendo il torto subìto) un ristoratore al quale devo ancora due soldi. Lasciai per l’ultima volta il suo ristorante all’aperto sapendo di dovergli due soldi. Li portai via sotto il suo naso, malgrado il fatto che quel naso fosse decisamente ebraico. Non l’ho mai pagato, ed è altamente improbabile che mai lo faccia. Come poté verificarsi tale scelleratezza in una vita che è stata, in generale, priva della destrezza necessaria alla frode? La storia è la seguente — e ha una morale, benché forse non ci sia spazio per essa.

… . .

È una buona regola generale, per chi viaggia sul Continente, che il modo più facile di conversare in una lingua straniera sia parlare di filosofia. Il genere di conversazione più difficile è parlare delle necessità comuni. La ragione è ovvia. I nomi delle necessità comuni variano completamente da nazione a nazione e sono in genere alquanto strani e bizzarri. Come potrebbe, per esempio, un francese supporre che una cassetta del carbone si chiami «scuttle»? Se ha mai visto la parola scuttle, è stato nella stampa sciovinista, dove la «politica dello scuttle», dello sgombero, si usa ogni volta che cediamo qualcosa a una piccola potenza, come i liberali, invece di cedere tutto a una grande potenza, come gli imperialisti. Quale inglese in Germania sarebbe poeta abbastanza da indovinare che i tedeschi chiamano un guanto una «scarpa da mano»? Le nazioni battezzano le loro necessità con soprannomi, per così dire. Chiamano le loro tinozze e i loro sgabelli con nomi bizzarri, elfici e quasi affettuosi, come se fossero i loro figli! Ma chiunque sia arrivato almeno all’Esercizio IV di un manualetto può discutere di cose astratte in una lingua straniera. Perché non appena riesce a mettere insieme una frase, scopre che le parole usate nelle discussioni astratte o filosofiche sono quasi le stesse in tutte le nazioni. Sono le stesse per la semplice ragione che provengono tutte dalle cose che furono le radici della nostra comune civiltà. Dal Cristianesimo, dall’Impero romano, dalla Chiesa medievale, o dalla Rivoluzione francese. «Nazione», «cittadino», «religione», «filosofia», «autorità», «la Repubblica», parole come queste sono pressoché uguali in tutti i paesi che attraversiamo. Frenate, dunque, la vostra esuberante ammirazione per il giovanotto che sa disputare con sei atei francesi appena sbarcato a Dieppe. Persino io ne sono capace. Ma con ogni probabilità quello stesso giovanotto non conosce il francese per «calzascarpe». A questa generalizzazione vi sono però tre grandi eccezioni. (1) Nel caso di paesi che non sono affatto europei, e non hanno mai avuto le nostre concezioni civiche, né l’antica cultura latina. Non pretendo che l’espressione patagonica per «cittadinanza» balzi subito alla mente, o che la parola di un dayaco per «la Repubblica» mi sia stata familiare fin dalla culla. (2) Nel caso della Germania, dove, benché il principio si applichi a molte parole come «nazione» e «filosofia», non si applica in modo così generale, perché la Germania ha avuto una politica speciale e deliberata d’incoraggiare la parte puramente germanica della sua lingua. (3) Nel caso in cui non si conosca affatto la lingua, com’è di solito il mio caso.

… . .

Tale, almeno, era la mia situazione nel giorno buio in cui commisi il mio delitto. Due delle condizioni eccezionali che ho menzionato si combinavano. Passeggiavo per una città tedesca, e non sapevo il tedesco. Conoscevo, tuttavia, due o tre di quelle grandi e solenni parole che tengono insieme la nostra civiltà europea — una delle quali è «sigaro». Poiché era una giornata calda e sognante, mi sedetti a un tavolo in una specie di giardino della birra, e ordinai un sigaro e un boccale di lager. Bevvi la lager e la pagai. Fumai il sigaro, dimenticai di pagarlo, e me ne andai, contemplando estasiato il regale profilo dei monti del Taunus. Dopo una decina di minuti, mi ricordai all’improvviso di non aver pagato il sigaro. Tornai al luogo di ristoro, e posai il denaro. Ma anche il proprietario aveva dimenticato il sigaro, e si limitò a dire cose gutturali in tono interrogativo, chiedendomi, suppongo, che cosa volessi. Dissi «sigaro», e lui mi diede un sigaro. Mentre posavo il denaro, mi sforzai di respingere il sigaro con gesti di rifiuto. Egli credette che il mio rifiuto fosse della natura di una condanna di quel particolare sigaro, e me ne portò un altro. Roteai le braccia come un mulino a vento, cercando di trasmettere, con la spazzante universalità del mio gesto, che il mio rifiuto era un rifiuto dei sigari in generale, non di quell’articolo particolare. Egli lo scambiò per l’ordinaria impazienza degli uomini comuni, e si precipitò avanti, le mani colme di sigari d’ogni sorta, insistendo perché li prendessi. Nella disperazione tentai altri generi di pantomima, ma più sigari rifiutavo, più sigari rari e preziosi venivano estratti dalle profondità e dai recessi dell’esercizio. Tentai invano di escogitare un modo per trasmettergli il fatto che avevo già avuto il sigaro. Imitai l’atto di un cittadino che fuma, spegne e getta via un sigaro. Il vigile proprietario pensò soltanto che stessi provando (come in un’estasi d’attesa) le gioie del sigaro che stava per darmi. Alla fine mi ritirai sconfitto: non voleva prendere il denaro e lasciare i sigari soli. Cosicché quel ristoratore (sul cui volto l’amore per il denaro splendeva come il sole a mezzogiorno) rifiutò recisamente e fermamente di ricevere i due soldi che certamente gli dovevo; e io mi portai via quei suoi due soldi e ci gozzovigliai per mesi. Spero che nell’ultimo giorno gli angeli rivelino la verità con molta dolcezza a quell’infelice.

… . .

Questo è il resoconto vero ed esatto della Grande Frode del Sigaro, e la sua morale è questa: che la civiltà è fondata sulle astrazioni. L’idea di debito è una di quelle che non possono in alcun modo essere trasmesse con movimenti fisici, perché è un’idea astratta. E la civiltà ovviamente non sarebbe nulla senza il debito. Sicché, quando gli individui dalla testa dura che studiano la sociologia scientifica (la quale non esiste) vengono a dirvi che la civiltà è materiale o indifferente all’astratto, chiedetevi soltanto quante delle cose che compongono la nostra Società — la Legge, o i Titoli e le Azioni, o il Debito Nazionale — sareste in grado di trasmettere col vostro volto e le vostre dieci dita, facendo smorfie e gesticolando a un oste tedesco.

XXV

A Cab Ride Across Country

Sown somewhere far off in the shallow dales of Hertfordshire there lies a village of great beauty, and I doubt not of admirable virtue, but of eccentric and unbalanced literary taste, which asked the present writer to come down to it on Sunday afternoon and give an address.

Now it was very difficult to get down to it at all on Sunday afternoon, owing to the indescribable state into which our national laws and customs have fallen in connection with the seventh day. It is not Puritanism; it is simply anarchy. I should have some sympathy with the Jewish Sabbath, if it were a Jewish Sabbath, and that for three reasons; first, that religion is an intrinsically sympathetic thing; second, that I cannot conceive any religion worth calling a religion without a fixed and material observance; and third, that the particular observance of sitting still and doing no work is one that suits my temperament down to the ground.

But the absurdity of the modern English convention is that it does not let a man sit still; it only perpetually trips him up when it has forced him to walk about. Our Sabbatarianism does not forbid us to ask a man in Battersea to come and talk in Hertfordshire; it only prevents his getting there. I can understand that a deity might be worshipped with joys, with flowers, and fireworks in the old European style. I can understand that a deity might be worshipped with sorrows. But I cannot imagine any deity being worshipped with inconveniences. Let the good Moslem go to Mecca, or let him abide in his tent, according to his feelings for religious symbols. But surely Allah cannot see anything particularly dignified in his servant being misled by the time-table, finding that the old Mecca express is not running, missing his connection at Bagdad, or having to wait three hours in a small side station outside Damascus.

So it was with me on this occasion. I found there was no telegraph service at all to this place; I found there was only one weak thread of train-service. Now if this had been the authority of real English religion, I should have submitted to it at once. If I believed that the telegraph clerk could not send the telegram because he was at that moment rigid in an ecstasy of prayer, I should think all telegrams unimportant in comparison. If I could believe that railway porters when relieved from their duties rushed with passion to the nearest place of worship, I should say that all lectures and everything else ought to give way to such a consideration. I should not complain if the national faith forbade me to make any appointments of labour or self-expression on the Sabbath. But, as it is, it only tells me that I may very probably keep the Sabbath by not keeping the appointment.

… . .

But I must resume the real details of my tale. I found that there was only one train in the whole of that Sunday by which I could even get within several hours or several miles of the time or place. I therefore went to the telephone, which is one of my favourite toys, and down which I have shouted many valuable, but prematurely arrested, monologues upon art and morals. I remember a mild shock of surprise when I discovered that one could use the telephone on Sunday; I did not expect it to be cut off, but I expected it to buzz more than on ordinary days, to the advancement of our national religion. Through this instrument, in fewer words than usual, and with a comparative economy of epigram, I ordered a taxi-cab to take me to the railway station. I have not a word to say in general either against telephones or taxi-cabs; they seem to me two of the purest and most poetic of the creations of modern scientific civilisation. Unfortunately, when the taxi-cab started, it did exactly what modern scientific civilisation has done—it broke down. The result of this was that when I arrived at King’s Cross my only train was gone; there was a Sabbath calm in the station, a calm in the eyes of the porters, and in my breast, if calm at all, if any calm, a calm despair.

There was not, however, very much calm of any sort in my breast on first making the discovery; and it was turned to blinding horror when I learnt that I could not even send a telegram to the organisers of the meeting. To leave my entertainers in the lurch was sufficiently exasperating; to leave them without any intimation was simply low. I reasoned with the official. I said: “Do you really mean to say that if my brother were dying and my mother in this place, I could not communicate with her?” He was a man of literal and laborious mind; he asked me if my brother was dying. I answered that he was in excellent and even offensive health, but that I was inquiring upon a question of principle. What would happen if England were invaded, or if I alone knew how to turn aside a comet or an earthquake. He waved away these hypotheses in the most irresponsible spirit, but he was quite certain that telegrams could not reach this particular village. Then something exploded in me; that element of the outrageous which is the mother of all adventures sprang up ungovernable, and I decided that I would not be a cad merely because some of my remote ancestors had been Calvinists. I would keep my appointment if I lost all my money and all my wits. I went out into the quiet London street, where my quiet London cab was still waiting for its fare in the cold misty morning. I placed myself comfortably in the London cab and told the London driver to drive me to the other end of Hertfordshire. And he did.

… . .

I shall not forget that drive. It was doubtful weather, even in a motor-cab, the thing was possible with any consideration for the driver, not to speak of some slight consideration for the people in the road. I urged the driver to eat and drink something before he started, but he said (with I know not what pride of profession or delicate sense of adventure) that he would rather do it when we arrived— if we ever did. I was by no means so delicate; I bought a varied selection of pork-pies at a little shop that was open (why was that shop open?—it is all a mystery), and ate them as we went along. The beginning was sombre and irritating. I was annoyed, not with people, but with things, like a baby; with the motor for breaking down and with Sunday for being Sunday. And the sight of the northern slums expanded and ennobled, but did not decrease, my gloom: Whitechapel has an Oriental gaudiness in its squalor; Battersea and Camberwell have an indescribable bustle of democracy; but the poor parts of North Londonwell, perhaps I saw them wrongly under that ashen morning and on that foolish errand.

It was one of those days which more than once this year broke the retreat of winter; a winter day that began too late to be spring. We were already clear of the obstructing crowds and quickening our pace through a borderland of market gardens and isolated public-houses, when the grey showed golden patches and a good light began to glitter on everything. The cab went quicker and quicker. The open land whirled wider and wider; but I did not lose my sense of being battled with and thwarted that I had felt in the thronged slums. Rather the feeling increased, because of the great difficulty of space and time. The faster went the car, the fiercer and thicker I felt the fight.

The whole landscape seemed charging at me—and just missing me. The tall, shining grass went by like showers of arrows; the very trees seemed like lances hurled at my heart, and shaving it by a hair’s breadth. Across some vast, smooth valley I saw a beech-tree by the white road stand up little and defiant. It grew bigger and bigger with blinding rapidity. It charged me like a tilting knight, seemed to hack at my head, and pass by. Sometimes when we went round a curve of road, the effect was yet more awful. It seemed as if some tree or windmill swung round to smite like a boomerang. The sun by this time was a blazing fact; and I saw that all Nature is chivalrous and militant. We do wrong to seek peace in Nature; we should rather seek the nobler sort of war; and see all the trees as green banners.

… . .

I gave my address, arriving just when everybody was deciding to leave. When my cab came reeling into the market-place they decided, with evident disappointment, to remain. Over the lecture I draw a veil. When I came back home I was called to the telephone, and a meek voice expressed regret for the failure of the motor-cab, and even said something about any reasonable payment. “Whom can I pay for my own superb experience? What is the usual charge for seeing the clouds shattered by the sun? What is the market price of a tree blue on the sky-line and then blinding white in the sun? Mention your price for that windmill that stood behind the hollyhocks in the garden. Let me pay you for … ” Here it was, I think, that we were cut off.

XXV

Una corsa in carrozza attraverso la campagna

Seminato chissà dove, lontano, nelle basse vallate dell’Hertfordshire, giace un villaggio di grande bellezza, e non dubito di ammirevole virtù, ma di gusto letterario eccentrico e sbilanciato, il quale chiese a chi scrive di recarvisi la domenica pomeriggio a tenere un discorso.

Ora, era assai difficile arrivarvi la domenica pomeriggio, a causa dello stato indescrivibile in cui sono cadute le nostre leggi e i nostri costumi nazionali riguardo al settimo giorno. Non è puritanesimo; è semplicemente anarchia. Avrei una certa simpatia per il sabato ebraico, se fosse un sabato ebraico, e ciò per tre ragioni: primo, che la religione è cosa intrinsecamente simpatica; secondo, che non riesco a concepire alcuna religione degna di chiamarsi tale senza un’osservanza fissa e materiale; e terzo, che la particolare osservanza dello starsene seduti senza far nulla è una che si addice al mio temperamento a pennello.

Ma l’assurdità della moderna convenzione inglese è che non lascia un uomo starsene seduto; si limita a fargli perpetuamente lo sgambetto dopo averlo costretto a girovagare. Il nostro sabbatarianismo non ci proibisce di invitare un uomo di Battersea a venire a parlare nell’Hertfordshire; gli impedisce soltanto di arrivarci. Posso capire che una divinità sia adorata con gioie, con fiori e fuochi d’artificio alla vecchia maniera europea. Posso capire che una divinità sia adorata con dolori. Ma non riesco a immaginare alcuna divinità adorata con scomodità. Che il buon musulmano vada alla Mecca, oppure se ne resti nella sua tenda, secondo il suo sentire per i simboli religiosi. Ma di certo Allah non può vedere nulla di particolarmente dignitoso nel fatto che il suo servo sia tratto in inganno dall’orario dei treni, scopra che il vecchio espresso della Mecca non è in servizio, perda la coincidenza a Bagdad, o debba attendere tre ore in una piccola stazioncina secondaria fuori Damasco.

Così fu per me in quell’occasione. Scoprii che non c’era alcun servizio telegrafico per quel luogo; scoprii che c’era un solo debole filo di servizio ferroviario. Ora, se questa fosse stata l’autorità di una vera religione inglese, mi ci sarei sottomesso all’istante. Se credessi che l’impiegato del telegrafo non poteva inviare il telegramma perché in quel momento era irrigidito in un’estasi di preghiera, riterrei tutti i telegrammi insignificanti al confronto. Se potessi credere che i facchini della ferrovia, appena sollevati dai loro doveri, si precipitassero con passione al più vicino luogo di culto, direi che tutte le conferenze e ogni altra cosa dovrebbero cedere il passo a una simile considerazione. Non mi lamenterei se la fede nazionale mi proibisse di prendere qualsiasi impegno di lavoro o di autoespressione di sabato. Ma, così com’è, essa mi dice soltanto che assai probabilmente osserverò il sabato non osservando l’appuntamento.

… . .

Ma devo riprendere i veri particolari del mio racconto. Scoprii che in tutta quella domenica c’era un solo treno con cui potessi anche solo avvicinarmi entro alcune ore o alcune miglia dall’ora o dal luogo. Mi recai perciò al telefono, che è uno dei miei giocattoli preferiti, e giù per il quale ho gridato molti preziosi, ma prematuramente interrotti, monologhi sull’arte e la morale. Ricordo un lieve sussulto di sorpresa quando scoprii che si poteva usare il telefono di domenica; non mi aspettavo che fosse staccato, ma mi aspettavo che ronzasse più che nei giorni ordinari, a vantaggio della nostra religione nazionale. Attraverso questo strumento, con meno parole del solito, e con una relativa economia di epigrammi, ordinai un taxi che mi portasse alla stazione ferroviaria. Non ho una parola da dire, in generale, né contro i telefoni né contro i taxi; mi paiono due tra le più pure e poetiche creazioni della moderna civiltà scientifica. Purtroppo, quando il taxi partì, fece esattamente ciò che ha fatto la moderna civiltà scientifica: si guastò. Il risultato fu che, quando giunsi a King’s Cross, il mio unico treno era partito; c’era una calma sabbatica nella stazione, una calma negli occhi dei facchini, e nel mio petto, se calma v’era, se calma alcuna, una calma disperazione.

Non v’era, tuttavia, gran calma di alcun genere nel mio petto quando feci per la prima volta la scoperta; e si mutò in un orrore accecante quando appresi che non potevo neppure inviare un telegramma agli organizzatori dell’incontro. Piantare in asso i miei ospiti era già abbastanza esasperante; lasciarli senza alcun avviso era semplicemente meschino. Ragionai con l’impiegato. Dissi: «Volete davvero dirmi che se mio fratello stesse morendo e mia madre si trovasse in questo posto, non potrei comunicare con lei?». Era un uomo di mente letterale e laboriosa; mi chiese se mio fratello stesse morendo. Risposi che godeva di ottima e persino offensiva salute, ma che indagavo su una questione di principio. Che cosa accadrebbe se l’Inghilterra fosse invasa, o se io solo sapessi come deviare una cometa o un terremoto. Egli scacciò queste ipotesi con lo spirito più irresponsabile, ma era del tutto certo che i telegrammi non potessero raggiungere quel particolare villaggio. Allora qualcosa esplose in me; quell’elemento dell’oltraggioso che è la madre di tutte le avventure balzò su ingovernabile, e decisi che non sarei stato un mascalzone solo perché alcuni dei miei remoti antenati erano stati calvinisti. Avrei mantenuto il mio appuntamento anche se avessi perso tutto il mio denaro e tutto il mio senno. Uscii nella quieta strada di Londra, dove la mia quieta carrozza di Londra aspettava ancora il suo cliente nel freddo mattino nebbioso. Mi accomodai comodamente nella carrozza di Londra e dissi al vetturino londinese di portarmi all’altro capo dell’Hertfordshire. E lui lo fece.

… . .

Non dimenticherò quella corsa. Il tempo era incerto, e persino in un’automobile la cosa era possibile solo con un certo riguardo per il conducente, per non parlare di un lieve riguardo per la gente sulla strada. Esortai il conducente a mangiare e bere qualcosa prima di partire, ma egli disse (con non so quale orgoglio di mestiere o delicato senso dell’avventura) che avrebbe preferito farlo all’arrivo — se mai fossimo arrivati. Io non ero affatto così delicato; comprai una variata scelta di pasticci di maiale in una botteguccia che era aperta (perché mai quella bottega era aperta? è tutto un mistero), e li mangiai mentre procedevamo. L’inizio fu cupo e irritante. Ero irritato, non con le persone, ma con le cose, come un bambino; con l’automobile per essersi guastata e con la domenica per essere domenica. E la vista dei bassifondi settentrionali dilatò e nobilitò, ma non attenuò, il mio umore tetro: Whitechapel ha una vistosità orientale nel suo squallore; Battersea e Camberwell hanno un indescrivibile fermento di democrazia; ma le zone povere di Londra nord… be’, forse le vidi male sotto quel mattino cinereo e in quella sciocca commissione.

Era uno di quei giorni che più d’una volta quest’anno spezzarono la ritirata dell’inverno; un giorno d’inverno che cominciò troppo tardi per essere primavera. Ci eravamo già lasciati alle spalle le folle che ci ostacolavano e acceleravamo il passo attraverso una terra di confine fatta di orti e di isolate osterie, quando il grigio mostrò chiazze dorate e una buona luce cominciò a scintillare su ogni cosa. La carrozza andava sempre più veloce. La campagna aperta turbinava sempre più ampia; ma non persi la sensazione d’essere avversato e ostacolato che avevo provato negli affollati bassifondi. Anzi, la sensazione crebbe, per via della grande difficoltà di spazio e di tempo. Più veloce andava l’automobile, più fiera e fitta sentivo la battaglia.

L’intero paesaggio pareva caricarmi addosso — e mancarmi per un soffio. L’erba alta e lucente sfilava via come rovesci di frecce; gli alberi stessi parevano lance scagliate al mio cuore, che lo sfioravano di un capello. Al di là di una vasta, liscia vallata, vidi un faggio presso la bianca strada ergersi piccolo e sfidante. Diventava sempre più grande con accecante rapidità. Mi caricava come un cavaliere in giostra, sembrava vibrarmi un colpo alla testa, e passava oltre. Talvolta, quando svoltavamo una curva della strada, l’effetto era ancor più tremendo. Pareva che qualche albero o mulino a vento roteasse per colpire come un boomerang. Il sole era ormai a quel momento un fatto avvampante; e vidi che tutta la Natura è cavalleresca e militante. Facciamo male a cercare la pace nella Natura; dovremmo piuttosto cercarvi la specie più nobile di guerra; e vedere tutti gli alberi come verdi vessilli.

… . .

Tenni il mio discorso, arrivando proprio quando tutti stavano decidendo di andarsene. Quando la mia carrozza irruppe barcollando nella piazza del mercato, decisero, con evidente disappunto, di restare. Sulla conferenza stendo un velo. Quando tornai a casa fui chiamato al telefono, e una voce dimessa espresse rammarico per il guasto dell’automobile, e disse persino qualcosa a proposito di un pagamento ragionevole. «Chi posso pagare per la mia superba esperienza? Qual è la tariffa consueta per vedere le nuvole frantumate dal sole? Qual è il prezzo di mercato di un albero azzurro sulla linea dell’orizzonte e poi accecante di bianco al sole? Fissate il vostro prezzo per quel mulino a vento che stava dietro le malvarose nel giardino. Lasciate che vi paghi per…». Fu qui, credo, che venimmo interrotti.

XXVI

The Two Noises

For three days and three nights the sea had charged England as Napoleon charged her at Waterloo. The phrase is instinctive, because away to the last grey line of the sea there was only the look of galloping squadrons, impetuous, but with a common purpose. The sea came on like cavalry, and when it touched the shore it opened the blazing eyes and deafening tongues of the artillery. I saw the worst assault at night on a seaside parade where the sea smote on the doors of England with the hammers of earthquake, and a white smoke went up into the black heavens. There one could thoroughly realise what an awful thing a wave really is. I talk like other people about the rushing swiftness of a wave. But the horrible thing about a wave is its hideous slowness. It lifts its load of water laboriously: in that style at once slow and slippery in which a Titan might lift a load of rock and then let it slip at last to be shattered into shock of dust. In front of me that night the waves were not like water: they were like falling city walls. The breaker rose first as if it did not wish to attack the earth; it wished only to attack the stars. For a time it stood up in the air as naturally as a tower; then it went a little wrong in its outline, like a tower that might some day fall. When it fell it was as if a powder magazine blew up.

… . .

I have never seen such a sea. All the time there blew across the land one of those stiff and throttling winds that one can lean up against like a wall. One expected anything to be blown out of shape at any instant; the lamp-post to be snapped like a green stalk, the tree to be whirled away like a straw. I myself should certainly have been blown out of shape if I had possessed any shape to be blown out of; for I walked along the edge of the stone embankment above the black and battering sea and could not rid myself of the idea that it was an invasion of England. But as I walked along this edge I was somewhat surprised to find that as I neared a certain spot another noise mingled with the ceaseless cannonade of the sea.

Somewhere at the back, in some pleasure ground or casino or place of entertainment, an undaunted brass band was playing against the cosmic uproar. I do not know what band it was. Judging from the boisterous British Imperialism of most of the airs it played, I should think it was a German band. But there was no doubt about its energy, and when I came quite close under it it really drowned the storm. It was playing such things as “Tommy Atkins” and “You Can Depend on Young Australia,” and many others of which I do not know the words, but I should think they would be “John, Pat, and Mac, With the Union Jack,” or that fine though unwritten poem, “Wait till the Bull Dog gets a bite of you.” Now, I for one detest Imperialism, but I have a great deal of sympathy with Jingoism. And there seemed something so touching about this unbroken and innocent bragging under the brutal menace of Nature that it made, if I may so put it, two tunes in my mind. It is so obvious and so jolly to be optimistic about England, especially when you are an optimist—and an Englishman. But through all that glorious brass came the voice of the invasion, the undertone of that awful sea. I did a foolish thing. As I could not express my meaning in an article, I tried to express it in a poem—a bad one. You can call it what you like. It might be called “Doubt,” or “Brighton.” It might be called “The Patriot,” or yet again “The German Band.” I would call it “The Two Voices,” but that title has been taken for a grossly inferior poem. This is how it began—

“They say the sun is on your knees A lamp to light your lands from harm, They say you turn the seven seas To little brooks about your farm. I hear the sea and the new song that calls you empress all day long.

“(O fallen and fouled! O you that lie Dying in swamps—you shall not die, Your rich have secrets, and stronge lust, Your poor are chased about like dust, Emptied of anger and surprise— And God has gone out of their eyes, Your cohorts break—your captains lie, I say to you, you shall not die.)”

Then I revived a little, remembering that after all there is an English country that the Imperialists have never found. The British Empire may annex what it likes, it will never annex England. It has not even discovered the island, let alone conquered it. I took up the two tunes again with a greater sympathy for the first—

“I know the bright baptismal rains, I love your tender troubled skies, I know your little climbing lanes, Are peering into Paradise, From open hearth to orchard cool, How bountiful and beautiful.

“(O throttled and without a cry, O strangled and stabbed, you shall not die, The frightful word is on your walls, The east sea to the west sea calls, The stars are dying in the sky, You shall not die; you shall not die.)”

Then the two great noises grew deafening together, the noise of the peril of England and the louder noise of the placidity of England. It is their fault if the last verse was written a little rudely and at random—

“I see you how you smile in state Straight from the Peak to Plymouth Bar, You need not tell me you are great, I know how more than great you are. I know what William Shakespeare was, I have seen Gainsborough and the grass.

(O given to believe a lie, O my mad mother, do do not die, Whose eyes turn all ways but within, Whose sin is innocence of sin, Whose eyes, blinded with beams at noon, Can see the motes upon the moon, You shall your lover still pursue. To what last madhouse shelters you I will uphold you, even I. You that are dead. You shall not die.)”

But the sea would not stop for me any more than for Canute; and as for the German band, that would not stop for anybody.

XXVI

I due rumori

Per tre giorni e tre notti il mare aveva caricato l’Inghilterra come Napoleone la caricò a Waterloo. La frase è istintiva, perché fin laggiù, all’ultima grigia linea del mare, non v’era che l’aspetto di squadroni al galoppo, impetuosi, ma con un comune proposito. Il mare avanzava come cavalleria, e quando toccava la riva apriva gli occhi fiammeggianti e le lingue assordanti dell’artiglieria. Vidi il peggiore assalto di notte, su un lungomare balneare dove il mare batteva sulle porte dell’Inghilterra con i martelli del terremoto, e un bianco fumo saliva nei neri cieli. Là si poteva pienamente rendersi conto di quale tremenda cosa sia davvero un’onda. Parlo come tutti della rapidità impetuosa di un’onda. Ma la cosa orribile di un’onda è la sua orrenda lentezza. Solleva il suo carico d’acqua faticosamente: in quel modo insieme lento e sdrucciolevole con cui un Titano potrebbe sollevare un carico di roccia e poi lasciarlo infine scivolare per frantumarsi in un urto di polvere. Dinanzi a me quella notte le onde non erano come acqua: erano come mura di città che crollavano. Il frangente si levò dapprima come se non volesse assalire la terra; voleva solo assalire le stelle. Per un tempo si ergeva nell’aria naturalmente come una torre; poi il suo contorno si guastava un poco, come una torre che un giorno potrebbe cadere. Quando cadeva era come se una santabarbara saltasse in aria.

… . .

Non ho mai visto un mare simile. Per tutto il tempo soffiava attraverso la terra uno di quei venti rigidi e soffocanti contro cui ci si può appoggiare come a un muro. Ci si aspettava che qualsiasi cosa venisse deformata da un istante all’altro; il lampione spezzato come uno stelo verde, l’albero turbinato via come una pagliuzza. Io stesso sarei certamente stato deformato, se avessi posseduto una qualche forma da deformare; poiché camminavo lungo il ciglio del terrapieno di pietra sopra il mare nero e battente e non riuscivo a liberarmi dell’idea che fosse un’invasione dell’Inghilterra. Ma mentre camminavo lungo questo ciglio, fui alquanto sorpreso di scoprire che, avvicinandomi a un certo punto, un altro rumore si mescolava all’incessante cannonata del mare.

Da qualche parte sul retro, in qualche luogo di svago o casinò o locale di divertimento, un’intrepida banda d’ottoni suonava contro il frastuono cosmico. Non so quale banda fosse. A giudicare dal chiassoso imperialismo britannico della maggior parte delle arie che suonava, direi che fosse una banda tedesca. Ma non v’era dubbio sulla sua energia, e quando le giunsi proprio sotto essa davvero sovrastava la tempesta. Suonava cose come «Tommy Atkins» e «You Can Depend on Young Australia», e molte altre di cui non conosco le parole, ma che credo sarebbero «John, Pat, and Mac, With the Union Jack», o quel bel poema, benché non scritto, «Wait till the Bull Dog gets a bite of you». Ora, io per primo detesto l’imperialismo, ma ho molta simpatia per il jingoismo. E c’era qualcosa di così commovente in questo intatto e innocente vanto sotto la brutale minaccia della Natura che esso creava, se posso esprimermi così, due melodie nella mia mente. È tanto ovvio e tanto allegro essere ottimisti sull’Inghilterra, specie quando si è ottimisti—e inglesi. Ma attraverso tutti quegli ottoni gloriosi giungeva la voce dell’invasione, il sottofondo di quel tremendo mare. Feci una cosa sciocca. Poiché non riuscivo a esprimere il mio pensiero in un articolo, cercai di esprimerlo in un poema—un cattivo poema. Chiamatelo come vi pare. Potrebbe intitolarsi «Dubbio», o «Brighton». Potrebbe intitolarsi «Il Patriota», o ancora «La banda tedesca». Io lo chiamerei «Le due voci», ma quel titolo è stato preso per un poema assai inferiore. Ecco come cominciava——

“Dicono che il sole ti posa sui ginocchi Lampada a difender le tue terre dal male, Dicono che muti i sette mari In piccoli ruscelli intorno al tuo podere. Odo il mare e il nuovo canto che imperatrice ti chiama tutto il giorno.

“(O caduta e insozzata! O tu che giaci Morente nelle paludi—tu non morrai, I tuoi ricchi hanno segreti, e cupida brama, I tuoi poveri son cacciati qua e là come polvere, Svuotati d’ira e di stupore— E Dio è uscito dai loro occhi, Le tue coorti si spezzano—i tuoi capitani giacciono, Io ti dico: tu non morrai.)”

Poi mi ripresi un poco, ricordando che dopotutto esiste un’Inghilterra rurale che gli imperialisti non hanno mai scoperto. L’Impero Britannico può annettersi ciò che gli pare, non annetterà mai l’Inghilterra. Non ha nemmeno scoperto l’isola, e tanto meno l’ha conquistata. Ripresi le due melodie con una maggiore simpatia per la prima——

“Conosco le lucenti piogge battesimali, Amo i tuoi teneri cieli tormentati, Conosco i tuoi piccoli viottoli che salgono, Spiano dentro il Paradiso, Dal focolare aperto al frutteto fresco, Quanto generosa e bella.

“(O strozzata e senza un grido, O strangolata e trafitta, tu non morrai, La spaventosa parola è sulle tue mura, Il mare d’oriente al mare d’occidente chiama, Le stelle muoiono nel cielo, Tu non morrai; tu non morrai.)”

Poi i due grandi rumori crebbero assordanti insieme, il rumore del pericolo dell’Inghilterra e il più forte rumore della placidità dell’Inghilterra. È colpa loro se l’ultima strofa fu scritta un poco rozzamente e a caso——

“Ti vedo come sorridi in maestà Dritto dal Peak fino a Plymouth Bar, Non hai bisogno di dirmi che sei grande, So quanto più che grande tu sia. So che cosa fu William Shakespeare, Ho veduto Gainsborough e l’erba.

(O indotta a credere a una menzogna, O mia folle madre, no, non morire, Tu i cui occhi si volgono ovunque fuorché al dentro, Il cui peccato è innocenza di peccato, I cui occhi, accecati da raggi a mezzogiorno, Sanno vedere i granelli sulla luna, Tu il tuo amante ancora inseguirai. Verso qualunque estremo manicomio ti accolga Io ti sosterrò, io stesso. Tu che sei morta. Tu non morrai.)”

Ma il mare non volle fermarsi per me più di quanto facesse per Canuto; e quanto alla banda tedesca, quella non si sarebbe fermata per nessuno.

XXVII

Some Policemen and a Moral

The other day I was nearly arrested by two excited policemen in a wood in Yorkshire. I was on a holiday, and was engaged in that rich and intricate mass of pleasures, duties, and discoveries which for the keeping off of the profane, we disguise by the exoteric name of Nothing. At the moment in question I was throwing a big Swedish knife at a tree, practising (alas, without success) that useful trick of knife-throwing by which men murder each other in Stevenson’s romances.

Suddenly the forest was full of two policemen; there was something about their appearance in and relation to the greenwood that reminded me, I know not how, of some happy Elizabethan comedy. They asked what the knife was, who I was, why I was throwing it, what my address was, trade, religion, opinions on the Japanese war, name of favourite cat, and so on. They also said I was damaging the tree; which was, I am sorry to say, not true, because I could not hit it. The peculiar philosophical importance, however, of the incident was this. After some half-hour’s animated conversation, the exhibition of an envelope, an unfinished poem, which was read with great care, and, I trust, with some profit, and one or two other subtle detective strokes, the elder of the two knights became convinced that I really was what I professed to be, that I was a journalist, that I was on the DAILY NEWS (this was the real stroke; they were shaken with a terror common to all tyrants), that I lived in a particular place as stated, and that I was stopping with particular people in Yorkshire, who happened to be wealthy and well-known in the neighbourhood.

In fact the leading constable became so genial and complimentary at last that he ended up by representing himself as a reader of my work. And when that was said, everything was settled. They acquitted me and let me pass.

“But,” I said, “what of this mangled tree? It was to the rescue of that Dryad, tethered to the earth, that you rushed like knight-errants. You, the higher humanitarians, are not deceived by the seeming stillness of the green things, a stillness like the stillness of the cataract, a headlong and crashing silence. You know that a tree is but a creature tied to the ground by one leg. You will not let assassins with their Swedish daggers shed the green blood of such a being. But if so, why am I not in custody; where are my gyves? Produce, from some portion of your persons, my mouldy straw and my grated window. The facts of which I have just convinced you, that my name is Chesterton, that I am a journalist, that I am living with the well-known and philanthropic Mr. Blank of Ilkley, cannot have anything to do with the question of whether I have been guilty of cruelty to vegetables. The tree is none the less damaged even though it may reflect with a dark pride that it was wounded by a gentleman connected with the Liberal press. Wounds in the bark do not more rapidly close up because they are inflicted by people who are stopping with Mr. Blank of Ilkley. That tree, the ruin of its former self, the wreck of what was once a giant of the forest, now splintered and laid low by the brute superiority of a Swedish knife, that tragedy, constable, cannot be wiped out even by stopping for several months more with some wealthy person. It is incredible that you have no legal claim to arrest even the most august and fashionable persons on this charge. For if so, why did you interfere with me at all?”

I made the later and larger part of this speech to the silent wood, for the two policemen had vanished almost as quickly as they came. It is very possible, of course, that they were fairies. In that case the somewhat illogical character of their view of crime, law, and personal responsibility would find a bright and elfish explanation; perhaps if I had lingered in the glade till moonrise I might have seen rings of tiny policemen dancing on the sward; or running about with glow-worm belts, arresting grasshoppers for damaging blades of grass. But taking the bolder hypothesis, that they really were policemen, I find myself in a certain difficulty. I was certainly accused of something which was either an offence or was not. I was let off because I proved I was a guest at a big house. The inference seems painfully clear; either it is not a proof of infamy to throw a knife about in a lonely wood, or else it is a proof of innocence to know a rich man. Suppose a very poor person, poorer even than a journalist, a navvy or unskilled labourer, tramping in search of work, often changing his lodgings, often, perhaps, failing in his rent. Suppose he had been intoxicated with the green gaiety of the ancient wood. Suppose he had thrown knives at trees and could give no description of a dwelling-place except that he had been fired out of the last. As I walked home through a cloudy and purple twilight I wondered how he would have got on.

Moral. We English are always boasting that we are very illogical; there is no great harm in that. There is no subtle spiritual evil in the fact that people always brag about their vices; it is when they begin to brag about their virtues that they become insufferable. But there is this to be said, that illogicality in your constitution or your legal methods may become very dangerous if there happens to be some great national vice or national temptation which many take advantage of the chaos. Similarly, a drunkard ought to have strict rules and hours; a temperate man may obey his instincts.

Take some absurd anomaly in the British law—the fact, for instance, that a man ceasing to be an M. P. has to become Steward of the Chiltern Hundreds, an office which I believe was intended originally to keep down some wild robbers near Chiltern, wherever that is. Obviously this kind of illogicality does not matter very much, for the simple reason that there is no great temptation to take advantage of it. Men retiring from Parliament do not have any furious impulse to hunt robbers in the hills. But if there were a real danger that wise, white-haired, venerable politicians taking leave of public life would desire to do this (if, for instance, there were any money in it), then clearly, if we went on saying that the illogicality did not matter, when (as a matter of fact) Sir Michael Hicks-Beach was hanging Chiltern shop-keepers every day and taking their property, we should be very silly. The illogicality would matter, for it would have become an excuse for indulgence. It is only the very good who can live riotous lives.

Now this is exactly what is present in cases of police investigation such as the one narrated above. There enters into such things a great national sin, a far greater sin than drink—the habit of respecting a gentleman. Snobbishness has, like drink, a kind of grand poetry. And snobbishness has this peculiar and devilish quality of evil, that it is rampant among very kindly people, with open hearts and houses. But it is our great English vice; to be watched more fiercely than small-pox. If a man wished to hear the worst and wickedest thing in England summed up in casual English words, he would not find it in any foul oaths or ribald quarrelling. He would find it in the fact that the best kind of working man, when he wishes to praise any one, calls him “a gentleman.” It never occurs to him that he might as well call him “a marquis,” or “a privy councillor”—that he is simply naming a rank or class, not a phrase for a good man. And this perennial temptation to a shameful admiration, must, and, I think, does, constantly come in and distort and poison our police methods.

In this case we must be logical and exact; for we have to keep watch upon ourselves. The power of wealth, and that power at its vilest, is increasing in the modern world. A very good and just people, without this temptation, might not need, perhaps, to make clear rules and systems to guard themselves against the power of our great financiers. But that is because a very just people would have shot them long ago, from mere native good feeling.

XXVII

Alcuni poliziotti e una morale

L’altro giorno fui quasi arrestato da due poliziotti eccitati in un bosco dello Yorkshire. Ero in vacanza, e ero impegnato in quella ricca e intricata massa di piaceri, doveri e scoperte che, per tener lontani i profani, mascheriamo col nome essoterico di Nulla. Nel momento in questione stavo lanciando un grosso coltello svedese contro un albero, esercitandomi (ahimè, senza successo) in quell’utile trucco del lancio del coltello con cui gli uomini si assassinano l’un l’altro nei romanzi di Stevenson.

D’un tratto la foresta fu piena di due poliziotti; c’era qualcosa nel loro aspetto in mezzo al verde bosco, e nel loro rapporto con esso, che mi rammentava, non so come, qualche lieta commedia elisabettiana. Chiesero che cosa fosse il coltello, chi fossi, perché lo lanciassi, quale fosse il mio indirizzo, il mestiere, la religione, le opinioni sulla guerra giapponese, il nome del gatto preferito, e così via. Dissero anche che stavo danneggiando l’albero; il che, mi dispiace dirlo, non era vero, perché non riuscivo a colpirlo. La peculiare importanza filosofica, tuttavia, dell’incidente fu questa. Dopo una mezz’ora di animata conversazione, l’esibizione di una busta, una poesia incompiuta, che fu letta con grande cura e, spero, con qualche profitto, e uno o due altri sottili colpi investigativi, il più anziano dei due cavalieri si convinse che io ero davvero ciò che dichiaravo di essere, che ero un giornalista, che ero al DAILY NEWS (questo fu il colpo decisivo; furono scossi da un terrore comune a tutti i tiranni), che vivevo in un luogo determinato come dichiarato, e che alloggiavo presso persone determinate nello Yorkshire, le quali si dava il caso fossero ricche e ben note nei dintorni.

Di fatto il poliziotto a capo divenne infine così gioviale e complimentoso che finì col dichiararsi un lettore delle mie opere. E quando ciò fu detto, tutto fu sistemato. Mi assolsero e mi lasciarono passare.

«Ma,» dissi, «che ne è di quest’albero straziato? Fu in soccorso di quella Driade, legata alla terra, che vi precipitaste come cavalieri erranti. Voi, gli umanitari più alti, non vi lasciate ingannare dall’apparente immobilità delle cose verdi, un’immobilità simile all’immobilità della cateratta, un silenzio precipitoso e fragoroso. Voi sapete che un albero non è che una creatura legata al suolo per una sola gamba. Voi non lascerete che gli assassini coi loro pugnali svedesi versino il verde sangue di un tal essere. Ma se è così, perché non sono in arresto; dove sono i miei ceppi? Tirate fuori, da qualche parte delle vostre persone, la mia paglia ammuffita e la mia finestra sbarrata. I fatti dei quali vi ho appena convinti, che il mio nome è Chesterton, che sono un giornalista, che vivo col ben noto e filantropico signor Blank di Ilkley, non possono avere nulla a che fare con la questione se io mi sia reso colpevole di crudeltà verso i vegetali. L’albero non è meno danneggiato, anche se può riflettere con un cupo orgoglio che fu ferito da un gentiluomo legato alla stampa liberale. Le ferite nella corteccia non si rimarginano più rapidamente perché inflitte da persone che alloggiano presso il signor Blank di Ilkley. Quell’albero, la rovina del suo antico , il relitto di ciò che un tempo fu un gigante della foresta, ora scheggiato e abbattuto dalla bruta superiorità di un coltello svedese, quella tragedia, poliziotto, non può essere cancellata nemmeno alloggiando per parecchi altri mesi presso qualche persona ricca. È incredibile che voi non abbiate alcun titolo legale per arrestare anche le persone più auguste e alla moda con questa accusa. Perché, se così fosse, perché mai vi siete immischiati con me?»

La parte ulteriore e più ampia di questo discorso la rivolsi al bosco silenzioso, poiché i due poliziotti erano svaniti quasi altrettanto rapidamente di come erano venuti. È del tutto possibile, s’intende, che fossero fate. In tal caso il carattere alquanto illogico della loro visione del delitto, della legge e della responsabilità personale troverebbe una luminosa e fatata spiegazione; forse, se mi fossi attardato nella radura fino al sorgere della luna, avrei potuto vedere cerchi di minuscoli poliziotti danzare sull’erba; o correre qua e là con cinture di lucciole, arrestando le cavallette per aver danneggiato i fili d’erba. Ma prendendo l’ipotesi più ardita, che fossero davvero poliziotti, mi trovo in una certa difficoltà. Ero certamente accusato di qualcosa che era o un reato o non lo era. Fui rilasciato perché provai di essere ospite in una grande casa. L’inferenza sembra penosamente chiara; o non è una prova d’infamia lanciare un coltello in un bosco solitario, oppure è una prova d’innocenza conoscere un uomo ricco. Supponete una persona assai povera, ancor più povera di un giornalista, uno sterratore o un bracciante non qualificato, che vaga in cerca di lavoro, cambiando spesso alloggio, mancando spesso, forse, il pagamento dell’affitto. Supponete che si fosse inebriato della verde allegria dell’antico bosco. Supponete che avesse lanciato coltelli contro gli alberi e non sapesse dare alcuna descrizione di una dimora, salvo che era stato cacciato dall’ultima. Mentre camminavo verso casa attraverso un crepuscolo nuvoloso e purpureo, mi domandavo come se la sarebbe cavata lui.

Morale. Noi inglesi ci vantiamo sempre di essere assai illogici; non c’è gran male in ciò. Non c’è sottile male spirituale nel fatto che la gente si vanti sempre dei propri vizi; è quando comincia a vantarsi delle proprie virtù che diventa insopportabile. Ma va detto questo, che l’illogicità nella vostra costituzione o nei vostri metodi legali può divenire assai pericolosa se per caso vi è qualche gran vizio nazionale o qualche tentazione nazionale di cui molti approfittano nel caos. Similmente, un ubriacone dovrebbe avere regole e orari rigidi; un uomo temperante può obbedire ai propri istinti.

Prendete qualche assurda anomalia del diritto britannico—il fatto, per esempio, che un uomo cessando di essere Membro del Parlamento debba diventare Steward dei Chiltern Hundreds, una carica che, credo, in origine era intesa a tenere a bada certi banditi selvaggi presso i Chiltern, ovunque essi siano. Ovviamente questo tipo di illogicità non conta molto, per la semplice ragione che non v’è gran tentazione ad approfittarne. Gli uomini che si ritirano dal Parlamento non hanno alcun furioso impulso a dar la caccia ai banditi sulle colline. Ma se vi fosse un reale pericolo che saggi, canuti, venerabili politici, prendendo congedo dalla vita pubblica, desiderassero fare questo (se, per esempio, ci fosse denaro in ciò), allora chiaramente, se continuassimo a dire che l’illogicità non conta, quando (di fatto) Sir Michael Hicks-Beach impiccasse ogni giorno bottegai dei Chiltern e ne confiscasse la proprietà, saremmo assai sciocchi. L’illogicità conterebbe, perché sarebbe divenuta una scusa per l’indulgenza. Sono solo i molto buoni che possono vivere vite dissolute.

Ora, questo è esattamente ciò che è presente nei casi d’indagine di polizia come quello narrato sopra. In simili cose entra un gran peccato nazionale, un peccato assai più grande dell’ubriachezza—l’abitudine di rispettare un gentiluomo. Lo snobismo ha, come l’ubriachezza, una sorta di grande poesia. E lo snobismo ha questa peculiare e diabolica qualità del male, di essere dilagante fra persone assai gentili, dal cuore e dalla casa aperti. Ma è il nostro grande vizio inglese; da sorvegliare più ferocemente del vaiolo. Se un uomo volesse udire la cosa peggiore e più malvagia d’Inghilterra riassunta in casuali parole inglesi, non la troverebbe in alcuna turpe bestemmia o rissa scurrile. La troverebbe nel fatto che il miglior tipo di lavoratore, quando vuol lodare qualcuno, lo chiama «un gentiluomo». Non gli viene mai in mente che tanto varrebbe bene chiamarlo «un marchese», o «un consigliere privato»—che egli sta semplicemente nominando un rango o una classe, non un’espressione per un uomo buono. E questa perenne tentazione a una vergognosa ammirazione deve, e credo davvero, di continuo insinuarsi e distorcere e avvelenare i nostri metodi di polizia.

In questo caso dobbiamo essere logici ed esatti; poiché dobbiamo vigilare su noi stessi. Il potere della ricchezza, e quel potere nella sua forma più vile, va crescendo nel mondo moderno. Un popolo assai buono e giusto, senza questa tentazione, potrebbe non aver bisogno, forse, di stabilire regole e sistemi chiari per premunirsi contro il potere dei nostri grandi finanzieri. Ma ciò è perché un popolo assai giusto li avrebbe fucilati da tempo, per puro schietto istinto.

XXVIII

The Lion

In the town of Belfort I take a chair and I sit down in the street. We talk in a cant phrase of the Man in the Street, but the Frenchman is the man in the street. Things quite central for him are connected with these lamp-posts and pavements; everything from his meals to his martyrdoms. When first an Englishman looks at a French town or village his first feeling is simply that it is uglier than an English town or village; when he looks again he sees that this comparative absence of the picturesque is chiefly expressed in the plain, precipitous frontage of the houses standing up hard and flat out of the street like the cardboard houses in a pantomime— a hard angularity allied perhaps to the harshness of French logic. When he looks a third time he sees quite simply that it is all because the houses have no front gardens. The vague English spirit loves to have the entrance to its house softened by bushes and broken by steps. It likes to have a little anteroom of hedges half in the house and half out of it; a green room in a double sense. The Frenchman desires no such little pathetic ramparts or halting places, for the street itself is a thing natural and familiar to him.

… . .

The French have no front gardens; but the street is every man’s front garden. There are trees in the street, and sometimes fountains. The street is the Frenchman’s tavern, for he drinks in the street. It is his dining-room, for he dines in the street. It is his British Museum, for the statues and monuments in French streets are not, as with us, of the worst, but of the best, art of the country, and they are often actually as historical as the Pyramids. The street again is the Frenchman’s Parliament, for France has never taken its Chamber of Deputies so seriously as we take our House of Commons, and the quibbles of mere elected nonentities in an official room seem feeble to a people whose fathers have heard the voice of Desmoulins like a trumpet under open heaven, or Victor Hugo shouting from his carriage amid the wreck of the second Republic. And as the Frenchman drinks in the street and dines in the street so also he fights in the street and dies in the street, so that the street can never be commonplace to him.

Take, for instance, such a simple object as a lamp-post. In London a lamp-post is a comic thing. We think of the intoxicated gentleman embracing it, and recalling ancient friendship. But in Paris a lamp-post is a tragic thing. For we think of tyrants hanged on it, and of an end of the world. There is, or was, a bitter Republican paper in Paris called LA LANTERNE. How funny it would be if there were a Progressive paper in England called THE LAMP POST! We have said, then, that the Frenchman is the man in the street; that he can dine in the street, and die in the street. And if I ever pass through Paris and find him going to bed in the street, I shall say that he is still true to the genius of his civilisation. All that is good and all that is evil in France is alike connected with this open-air element. French democracy and French indecency are alike part of the desire to have everything out of doors. Compared to a café, a public-house is a private house.

… . .

There were two reasons why all these fancies should float through the mind in the streets of this especial town of Belfort. First of all, it lies close upon the boundary of France and Germany, and boundaries are the most beautiful things in the world. To love anything is to love its boundaries; thus children will always play on the edge of anything. They build castles on the edge of the sea, and can only be restrained by public proclamation and private violence from walking on the edge of the grass. For when we have come to the end of a thing we have come to the beginning of it.

Hence this town seemed all the more French for being on the very margin of Germany, and although there were many German touches in the place— German names, larger pots of beer, and enormous theatrical barmaids dressed up in outrageous imitation of Alsatian peasants—yet the fixed French colour seemed all the stronger for these specks of something else. All day long and all night long troops of dusty, swarthy, scornful little soldiers went plodding through the streets with an air of stubborn disgust, for German soldiers look as if they despised you, but French soldiers as if they despised you and themselves even more than you. It is a part, I suppose, of the realism of the nation which has made it good at war and science and other things in which what is necessary is combined with what is nasty. And the soldiers and the civilians alike had most of them cropped hair, and that curious kind of head which to an Englishman looks almost brutal, the kind that we call a bullet-head. Indeed, we are speaking very appropriately when we call it a bullet-head, for in intellectual history the heads of Frenchmen have been bullets—yes, and explosive bullets.

… . .

But there was a second reason why in this place one should think particularly of the open-air politics and the open-air art of the French. For this town of Belfort is famous for one of the most typical and powerful of the public monuments of France. From the café table at which I sit I can see the hill beyond the town on which hangs the high and flat-faced citadel, pierced with many windows, and warmed in the evening light. On the steep hill below it is a huge stone lion, itself as large as a hill. It is hacked out of the rock with a sort of gigantic impression. No trivial attempt has been made to make it like a common statue; no attempt to carve the mane into curls, or to distinguish the monster minutely from the earth out of which he rises, shaking the world. The face of the lion has something of the bold conventionality of Assyrian art. The mane of the lion is left like a shapeless cloud of tempest, as if it might literally be said of him that God had clothed his neck with thunder. Even at this distance the thing looks vast, and in some sense prehistoric. Yet it was carved only a little while ago. It commemorates the fact that this town was never taken by the Germans through all the terrible year, but only laid down its arms at last at the command of its own Government. But the spirit of it has been in this land from the beginning— the spirit of something defiant and almost defeated.

As I leave this place and take the railway into Germany the news comes thicker and thicker up the streets that Southern France is in a flame, and that there perhaps will be fought out finally the awful modern battle of the rich and poor. And as I pass into quieter places for the last sign of France on the sky-line, I see the Lion of Belfort stand at bay, the last sight of that great people which has never been at peace.

XXVIII

Il Leone

Nella città di Belfort prendo una sedia e mi siedo per la strada. Parliamo, con una frase fatta, dell’Uomo della Strada, ma il francese è l’uomo della strada. Cose del tutto centrali per lui sono connesse a questi lampioni e a questi marciapiedi; tutto, dai suoi pasti ai suoi martirii. Quando per la prima volta un inglese guarda una città o un villaggio francese, la sua prima sensazione è semplicemente che è più brutto di una città o di un villaggio inglese; quando guarda di nuovo, vede che questa relativa assenza di pittoresco è espressa soprattutto dalla piatta, precipite facciata delle case che si ergono dure e piatte fuori dalla strada come le case di cartone in una pantomima—una dura angolosità forse imparentata con l’asprezza della logica francese. Quando guarda una terza volta, vede assai semplicemente che è tutto perché le case non hanno giardinetti d’ingresso. Il vago spirito inglese ama che l’ingresso della sua casa sia addolcito da cespugli e interrotto da gradini. Ama avere una piccola anticamera di siepi, metà dentro la casa e metà fuori; una stanza verde in un duplice senso. Il francese non desidera simili piccoli patetici bastioni o luoghi di sosta, poiché la strada stessa è per lui cosa naturale e familiare.

… . .

I francesi non hanno giardinetti d’ingresso; ma la strada è il giardino d’ingresso di ogni uomo. Ci sono alberi nella strada, e talvolta fontane. La strada è la taverna del francese, poiché egli beve nella strada. È la sua sala da pranzo, poiché egli pranza nella strada. È il suo British Museum, poiché le statue e i monumenti nelle strade francesi non sono, come da noi, la peggiore, ma la migliore arte del paese, e spesso sono davvero storici quanto le Piramidi. La strada, ancora, è il Parlamento del francese, poiché la Francia non ha mai preso la sua Camera dei Deputati tanto sul serio quanto noi prendiamo la nostra Camera dei Comuni, e i cavilli di meri nullità elette in una sala ufficiale sembrano fiacchi a un popolo i cui padri hanno udito la voce di Desmoulins come una tromba sotto il cielo aperto, o Victor Hugo gridare dalla sua carrozza fra le rovine della seconda Repubblica. E come il francese beve nella strada e pranza nella strada, così anche combatte nella strada e muore nella strada, sicché la strada non può mai essergli banale.

Prendete, per esempio, un oggetto tanto semplice quanto un lampione. A Londra un lampione è cosa comica. Pensiamo al gentiluomo ubriaco che lo abbraccia, rammentando un’antica amicizia. Ma a Parigi un lampione è cosa tragica. Poiché pensiamo ai tiranni appesi ad esso, e a una fine del mondo. C’è, o c’era, un aspro giornale repubblicano a Parigi chiamato LA LANTERNE. Come sarebbe buffo se ci fosse un giornale progressista in Inghilterra chiamato THE LAMP POST! Abbiamo detto, dunque, che il francese è l’uomo della strada; che può pranzare nella strada, e morire nella strada. E se mai passassi per Parigi e lo trovassi andare a letto nella strada, direi che egli è ancora fedele al genio della sua civiltà. Tutto ciò che è buono e tutto ciò che è malvagio in Francia è ugualmente connesso a questo elemento all’aria aperta. La democrazia francese e l’indecenza francese sono ugualmente parte del desiderio di avere ogni cosa all’aperto. Rispetto a un caffè, una casa pubblica è una casa privata.

… . .

C’erano due ragioni per cui tutte queste fantasie dovessero fluttuare nella mente per le strade di questa particolare città di Belfort. Anzitutto, essa giace vicino al confine fra Francia e Germania, e i confini sono le cose più belle del mondo. Amare qualcosa significa amarne i confini; così i bambini giocheranno sempre sull’orlo di qualsiasi cosa. Costruiscono castelli sull’orlo del mare, e solo per pubblico proclama e privata violenza si possono trattenere dal camminare sull’orlo dell’erba. Poiché quando siamo giunti alla fine di una cosa siamo giunti al suo principio.

Perciò questa città sembrava tanto più francese per essere sul margine stesso della Germania, e benché ci fossero molti tocchi tedeschi nel luogo—nomi tedeschi, boccali di birra più grandi, ed enormi cameriere teatrali agghindate in una scandalosa imitazione delle contadine alsaziane—pure il fisso colore francese sembrava tanto più forte per questi granelli di qualcos’altro. Per tutto il giorno e per tutta la notte truppe di piccoli soldati polverosi, olivastri, sprezzanti arrancavano per le strade con un’aria di ostinato disgusto, poiché i soldati tedeschi hanno l’aria di disprezzarti, ma i soldati francesi come se disprezzassero te e se stessi ancor più di te. Fa parte, suppongo, del realismo della nazione che l’ha resa abile nella guerra e nella scienza e in altre cose in cui ciò che è necessario si combina con ciò che è sgradevole. E i soldati e i civili alla stessa maniera avevano per la maggior parte i capelli rasati, e quel curioso tipo di testa che a un inglese pare quasi brutale, il tipo che chiamiamo testa a proiettile. Anzi, parliamo assai appropriatamente quando la chiamiamo testa a proiettile, poiché nella storia intellettuale le teste dei francesi sono state proiettili—sì, e proiettili esplosivi.

… . .

Ma c’era una seconda ragione per cui in questo luogo si dovesse pensare particolarmente alla politica all’aria aperta e all’arte all’aria aperta dei francesi. Poiché questa città di Belfort è celebre per uno dei più tipici e possenti monumenti pubblici di Francia. Dal tavolino del caffè al quale siedo posso vedere la collina oltre la città su cui pende l’alta cittadella dalla faccia piatta, trafitta da molte finestre, e riscaldata nella luce della sera. Sulla ripida collina sottostante c’è un enorme leone di pietra, esso stesso grande quanto una collina. È sbozzato dalla roccia con una sorta di gigantesca impressione. Nessun banale tentativo è stato fatto di renderlo simile a una comune statua; nessun tentativo di scolpire la criniera in riccioli, o di distinguere il mostro minutamente dalla terra da cui si leva, scuotendo il mondo. Il volto del leone ha qualcosa dell’ardita convenzionalità dell’arte assira. La criniera del leone è lasciata come un’informe nube di tempesta, come se di lui si potesse letteralmente dire che Dio gli aveva rivestito il collo di tuono. Persino a questa distanza la cosa appare vasta, e in un certo senso preistorica. Eppure fu scolpita solo poco tempo fa. Commemora il fatto che questa città non fu mai presa dai tedeschi per tutto il terribile anno, ma depose le armi solo infine al comando del proprio Governo. Ma lo spirito di essa è stato in questa terra fin dal principio—lo spirito di qualcosa di sfidante e quasi sconfitto.

Mentre lascio questo luogo e prendo la ferrovia per la Germania, le notizie giungono sempre più fitte su per le strade che la Francia meridionale è in fiamme, e che là forse si combatterà infine la tremenda battaglia moderna dei ricchi e dei poveri. E mentre passo verso luoghi più quieti, per l’ultimo segno della Francia sulla linea del cielo, vedo il Leone di Belfort tenersi in guardia, l’ultima visione di quel gran popolo che non è mai stato in pace.

XXIX

Humanity: an Interlude

Except for some fine works of art, which seem to be there by accident, the City of Brussels is like a bad Paris, a Paris with everything noble cut out, and everything nasty left in. No one can understand Paris and its history who does not understand that its fierceness is the balance and justification of its frivolity. It is called a city of pleasure; but it may also very specially be called a city of pain. The crown of roses is also a crown of thorns. Its people are too prone to hurt others, but quite ready also to hurt themselves. They are martyrs for religion, they are martyrs for irreligion; they are even martyrs for immorality. For the indecency of many of their books and papers is not of the sort which charms and seduces, but of the sort that horrifies and hurts; they are torturing themselves. They lash their own patriotism into life with the same whips which most men use to lash foreigners to silence. The enemies of France can never give an account of her infamy or decay which does not seem insipid and even polite compared with the things which the Nationalists of France say about their own nation. They taunt and torment themselves; sometimes they even deliberately oppress themselves. Thus, when the mob of Paris could make a Government to please itself, it made a sort of sublime tyranny to order itself about. The spirit is the same from the Crusades or St. Bartholomew to the apotheosis of Zola. The old religionists tortured men physically for a moral truth. The new realists torture men morally for a physical truth.

Now Brussels is Paris without this constant purification of pain. Its indecencies are not regrettable incidents in an everlasting revolution. It has none of the things which make good Frenchmen love Paris; it has only the things which make unspeakable Englishmen love it. It has the part which is cosmopolitan— and narrows; not the part which is Parisian—and universal. You can find there (as commonly happens in modern centres) the worst things of all nations—the DAILY MAIL from England, the cheap philosophies from Germany, the loose novels of France, and the drinks of America. But there is no English broad fun, no German kindly ceremony, no American exhilaration, and, above all, no French tradition of fighting for an idea. Though all the boulevards look like Parisian boulevards, though all the shops look like Parisian shops, you cannot look at them steadily for two minutes without feeling the full distance between, let us say, King Leopold and fighters like Clemenceau and Deroulède.

… . .

For all these reasons, and many more, when I had got into Brussels I began to make all necessary arrangements for getting out of it again; and I had impulsively got into a tram which seemed to be going out of the city. In this tram there were two men talking; one was a little man with a black French beard; the other was a baldish man with bushy whiskers, like the financial foreign count in a three-act farce. And about the time that we reached the suburb of the city, and the traffic grew thinner, and the noises more few, I began to hear what they were saying. Though they spoke French quickly, their words were fairly easy to follow, because they were all long words. Anybody can understand long words because they have in them all the lucidity of Latin.

The man with the black beard said: “It must that we have the Progress.”

The man with the whiskers parried this smartly by saying: “It must also that we have the Consolidation International.”

This is a sort of discussion which I like myself, so I listened with some care, and I think I picked up the thread of it. One of the Belgians was a Little Belgian, as we speak of a Little Englander. The other was a Belgian Imperialist, for though Belgium is not quite strong enough to be altogether a nation, she is quite strong enough to be an empire. Being a nation means standing up to your equals, whereas being an empire only means kicking your inferiors. The man with whiskers was the Imperialist, and he was saying: “The science, behold there the new guide of humanity.”

And the man with the beard answered him: “It does not suffice to have progress in the science; one must have it also in the sentiment of the human justice.”

This remark I applauded, as if at a public meeting, but they were much too keen on their argument to hear me. The views I have often heard in England, but never uttered so lucidly, and certainly never so fast. Though Belgian by nation they must both have been essentially French. Whiskers was great on education, which, it seems, is on the march. All the world goes to make itself instructed. It must that the more instructed enlighten the less instructed. Eh, well then, the European must impose upon the savage the science and the light. Also (apparently) he must impose himself on the savage while he is about it. To-day one travelled quickly. The science had changed all. For our fathers, they were religious, and (what was worse) dead. To-day humanity had electricity to the hand; the machines came from triumphing; all the lines and limits of the globe effaced themselves. Soon there would not be but the great Empires and confederations, guided by the science, always the science.

Here Whiskers stopped an instant for breath; and the man with the sentiment for human justice had “la parole” off him in a flash. Without doubt Humanity was on the march, but towards the sentiments, the ideal, the methods moral and pacific. Humanity directed itself towards Humanity. For your wars and empires on behalf of civilisation, what were they in effect? The war, was it not itself an affair of the barbarism? The Empires were they not things savage? The Humanity had passed all that; she was now intellectual. Tolstoy had refined all human souls with the sentiments the most delicate and just. Man was become a spirit; the wings pushed… .

… . .

At this important point of evolution the tram came to a jerky stoppage; and staring around I found, to my stunned consternation, that it was almost dark, that I was far away from Brussels, that I could not dream of getting back to dinner; in short, that through the clinging fascination of this great controversy on Humanity and its recent complete alteration by science or Tolstoy, I had landed myself Heaven knows where. I dropped hastily from the suburban tram and let it go on without me.

I was alone in the flat fields out of sight of the city. On one side of the road was one of those small, thin woods which are common in all countries, but of which, by a coincidence, the mystical painters of Flanders were very fond. The night was closing in with cloudy purple and grey; there was one ribbon of silver, the last rag of the sunset. Through the wood went one little path, and somehow it suggested that it might lead to some sign of life— there was no other sign of life on the horizon. I went along it, and soon sank into a sort of dancing twilight of all those tiny trees. There is something subtle and bewildering about that sort of frail and fantastic wood. A forest of big trees seems like a bodily barrier; but somehow that mist of thin lines seems like a spiritual barrier. It is as if one were caught in a fairy cloud or could not pass a phantom. When I had well lost the last gleam of the high road a curious and definite feeling came upon me. Now I suddenly felt something much more practical and extraordinary—the absence of humanity: inhuman loneliness. Of course, there was nothing really lost in my state; but the mood may hit one anywhere. I wanted men— any men; and I felt our awful alliance over all the globe. And at last, when I had walked for what seemed a long time, I saw a light too near the earth to mean anything except the image of God.

I came out on a clear space and a low, long cottage, the door of which was open, but was blocked by a big grey horse, who seemed to prefer to eat with his head inside the sitting-room. I got past him, and found he was being fed by a young man who was sitting down and drinking beer inside, and who saluted me with heavy rustic courtesy, but in a strange tongue. The room was full of staring faces like owls, and these I traced at length as belonging to about six small children. Their father was still working in the fields, but their mother rose when I entered. She smiled, but she and all the rest spoke some rude language, Flamand, I suppose; so that we had to be kind to each other by signs. She fetched me beer, and pointed out my way with her finger; and I drew a picture to please the children; and as it was a picture of two men hitting each other with swords, it pleased them very much. Then I gave a Belgian penny to each child, for as I said on chance in French, “It must be that we have the economic equality.” But they had never heard of economic equality, while all Battersea workmen have heard of economic equality, though it is true that they haven’t got it.

I found my way back to the city, and some time afterwards I actually saw in the street my two men talking, no doubt still saying, one that Science had changed all in Humanity, and the other that Humanity was now pushing the wings of the purely intellectual. But for me Humanity was hooked on to an accidental picture. I thought of a low and lonely house in the flats, behind a veil or film of slight trees, a man breaking the ground as men have broken from the first morning, and a huge grey horse champing his food within a foot of a child’s head, as in the stable where Christ was born.

XXIX

L’umanità: un interludio

Se si eccettuano alcune belle opere d’arte, che paiono trovarsi lì per caso, la città di Bruxelles è come una cattiva Parigi, una Parigi a cui sia stato asportato tutto ciò che è nobile e lasciato dentro tutto ciò che è meschino. Nessuno può comprendere Parigi e la sua storia se non comprende che la sua ferocia è il contrappeso e la giustificazione della sua frivolezza. La si chiama città del piacere; ma la si può anche chiamare, in modo del tutto particolare, città del dolore. La corona di rose è anche una corona di spine. La sua gente è troppo incline a ferire gli altri, ma pure prontissima a ferire sé stessa. Sono martiri per la religione, sono martiri per l’irreligione; sono perfino martiri per l’immoralità. Poiché l’oscenità di molti dei loro libri e giornali non è di quel genere che affascina e seduce, ma di quel genere che inorridisce e ferisce; è un tormentare sé stessi. Sferzano il proprio patriottismo per animarlo con le stesse fruste che la maggior parte degli uomini usa per ridurre gli stranieri al silenzio. I nemici della Francia non sanno mai rendere conto della sua infamia o della sua decadenza in un modo che non risulti insipido e perfino garbato a confronto delle cose che i nazionalisti di Francia dicono della propria nazione. Si scherniscono e si tormentano; talvolta si opprimono perfino deliberatamente. Così, quando la folla di Parigi poté darsi un Governo a proprio piacimento, si fabbricò una sorta di sublime tirannia per comandare sé stessa. Lo spirito è lo stesso, dalle Crociate o dalla notte di San Bartolomeo fino all’apoteosi di Zola. Gli antichi uomini religiosi torturavano gli uomini fisicamente per una verità morale. I nuovi realisti torturano gli uomini moralmente per una verità fisica.

Ora Bruxelles è Parigi senza questa costante purificazione del dolore. Le sue oscenità non sono spiacevoli incidenti in una rivoluzione eterna. Non possiede nulla di ciò che fa amare Parigi ai buoni francesi; possiede soltanto ciò che la fa amare agli inglesi indicibili. Ha la parte che è cosmopolita — e che restringe; non la parte che è parigina — e universale. Vi si possono trovare (come accade di solito nei centri moderni) le cose peggiori di tutte le nazioni: il DAILY MAIL dall’Inghilterra, le filosofie a buon mercato dalla Germania, i romanzi licenziosi di Francia e i liquori d’America. Ma non c’è la larga ilarità inglese, non la cortese cerimoniosità tedesca, non l’euforia americana e, soprattutto, non la tradizione francese del battersi per un’idea. Benché tutti i viali somiglino ai viali parigini, benché tutte le botteghe somiglino alle botteghe parigine, non li si può fissare per due minuti di seguito senza avvertire tutta la distanza che corre, poniamo, tra re Leopoldo e combattenti come Clemenceau e Déroulède.

… . .

Per tutte queste ragioni, e molte altre, quando fui giunto a Bruxelles cominciai a prendere tutte le disposizioni necessarie per venirne di nuovo fuori; e d’impulso ero salito su un tram che pareva uscire dalla città. Su quel tram due uomini stavano conversando; uno era un ometto con una barba nera alla francese; l’altro era un uomo mezzo calvo con folte basette, come il conte straniero e finanziere di una farsa in tre atti. E intorno al momento in cui raggiungemmo il sobborgo della città, mentre il traffico si faceva più rado e i rumori più radi, cominciai a udire ciò che dicevano. Benché parlassero francese in fretta, le loro parole erano abbastanza facili da seguire, perché erano tutte parole lunghe. Chiunque può capire le parole lunghe, perché hanno in sé tutta la limpidezza del latino.

L’uomo con la barba nera disse: «Bisogna che noi abbiamo il Progresso».

L’uomo con le basette parò abilmente il colpo dicendo: «Bisogna anche che noi abbiamo il Consolidamento Internazionale».

È il genere di discussione che a me piace, sicché ascoltai con una certa attenzione, e credo di averne colto il filo. Uno dei due belgi era un Piccolo Belga, come noi diciamo un Piccolo Inglese. L’altro era un Imperialista belga, poiché, sebbene il Belgio non sia proprio abbastanza forte da essere del tutto una nazione, è però abbastanza forte da essere un impero. Essere una nazione significa tener testa ai propri pari, mentre essere un impero significa soltanto prendere a calci i propri inferiori. L’uomo con le basette era l’Imperialista, e diceva: «La scienza, ecco la nuova guida dell’umanità».

E l’uomo con la barba gli rispose: «Non basta avere il progresso nella scienza; bisogna averlo anche nel sentimento della giustizia umana».

A questa osservazione applaudii, come si fa a un pubblico comizio, ma erano troppo presi dalla loro disputa per udirmi. Simili opinioni le ho udite spesso in Inghilterra, ma mai espresse con tanta lucidità, e di certo mai con tanta rapidità. Belgi di nazione, dovevano entrambi essere nell’intimo essenzialmente francesi. Basette era imbattibile sull’istruzione, la quale, a quanto pare, è in marcia. Tutto il mondo si avvia a rendersi istruito. Bisogna che i più istruiti illuminino i meno istruiti. Eh, ebbene allora, l’europeo deve imporre al selvaggio la scienza e la luce. Inoltre (a quanto pare) deve imporre sé stesso al selvaggio, già che c’è. Oggi si viaggiava in fretta. La scienza aveva mutato tutto. Quanto ai nostri padri, essi erano religiosi, e (ciò che era peggio) morti. Oggi l’umanità aveva l’elettricità a portata di mano; le macchine venivano dal trionfare; tutte le linee e i confini del globo si cancellavano da soli. Presto non vi sarebbero stati che i grandi Imperi e le confederazioni, guidati dalla scienza, sempre la scienza.

Qui Basette si fermò un istante per prendere fiato; e l’uomo dal sentimento per la giustizia umana in un lampo gli tolse «la parole». Senza dubbio l’Umanità era in marcia, ma verso i sentimenti, l’ideale, i metodi morali e pacifici. L’Umanità si dirigeva verso l’Umanità. Le vostre guerre e i vostri imperi in nome della civiltà, che cosa erano in effetti? La guerra, non era essa stessa una faccenda di barbarie? Gli Imperi, non erano cose selvagge? L’Umanità aveva superato tutto questo; ella era ormai intellettuale. Tolstoj aveva raffinato tutte le anime umane con i sentimenti più delicati e giusti. L’uomo era divenuto uno spirito; le ali spingevano…

… . .

A questo importante punto dell’evoluzione il tram si arrestò con uno scossone; e guardandomi attorno scoprii, con sbalordita costernazione, che era quasi buio, che ero lontanissimo da Bruxelles, che non potevo neppure sognare di tornare in tempo per la cena; in breve, che, per la tenace fascinazione di quella grande controversia sull’Umanità e sulla sua recente e completa trasformazione a opera della scienza o di Tolstoj, ero finito il cielo sa dove. Scesi in fretta dal tram suburbano e lo lasciai proseguire senza di me.

Ero solo nei campi pianeggianti, fuori dalla vista della città. Da un lato della strada c’era uno di quei boschi piccoli e radi che sono comuni in tutti i paesi, ma che, per una coincidenza, i pittori mistici delle Fiandre amavano molto. La notte calava con un viola e un grigio nuvolosi; c’era un solo nastro d’argento, l’ultimo brandello del tramonto. Attraverso il bosco correva un unico sentiero, e in qualche modo lasciava intendere che potesse condurre a qualche segno di vita: non v’era altro segno di vita all’orizzonte. Lo percorsi, e presto sprofondai in una sorta di crepuscolo danzante di tutti quei minuti alberi. C’è qualcosa di sottile e sconcertante in quel genere di bosco fragile e fantastico. Una foresta di grandi alberi pare una barriera corporea; ma in qualche modo quella foschia di linee sottili pare una barriera spirituale. È come se si fosse imprigionati in una nuvola fatata o non si potesse oltrepassare un fantasma. Quando ebbi ben perduto l’ultimo bagliore dell’alta strada maestra, un sentimento curioso e preciso mi assalì. Ora avvertii d’un tratto qualcosa di assai più concreto e straordinario: l’assenza dell’umanità, una solitudine disumana. Certo, nel mio stato nulla era davvero perduto; ma quel sentimento può cogliere chiunque ovunque. Volevo uomini, uomini qualunque; e sentii la nostra terribile alleanza su tutto il globo. E infine, quando ebbi camminato per quello che parve un lungo tempo, vidi una luce troppo vicina alla terra per significare qualcosa di diverso dall’immagine di Dio.

Sbucai in uno spiazzo aperto e su un lungo, basso casolare, la cui porta era aperta ma bloccata da un grosso cavallo grigio, che pareva preferisse mangiare con la testa dentro il tinello. Gli passai accanto e scoprii che veniva nutrito da un giovane il quale sedeva a bere birra là dentro, e che mi salutò con pesante cortesia campagnola, ma in una lingua strana. La stanza era piena di volti fissi come civette, e li ricondussi alla fine a circa sei bambini piccoli. Il loro padre lavorava ancora nei campi, ma la loro madre si alzò quando entrai. Sorrise, ma lei e tutti gli altri parlavano una qualche lingua rozza, fiammingo, suppongo; sicché dovemmo mostrarci gentili l’uno con l’altro a gesti. Mi portò della birra e m’indicò col dito la strada; e io disegnai un’immagine per far piacere ai bambini; e poiché era l’immagine di due uomini che si colpivano con la spada, piacque loro moltissimo. Poi diedi una moneta belga a ciascun bambino, perché, come dissi a caso in francese, «Bisogna che abbiamo l’uguaglianza economica». Ma essi non avevano mai udito parlare di uguaglianza economica, mentre tutti gli operai di Battersea hanno udito parlare di uguaglianza economica, benché sia vero che non ce l’hanno.

Ritrovai la via per tornare alla città, e qualche tempo dopo vidi davvero in strada i miei due uomini che discutevano, senza dubbio ancora affermando, l’uno che la Scienza aveva mutato tutto nell’Umanità, e l’altro che l’Umanità stava ormai spingendo le ali del puramente intellettuale. Ma per me l’Umanità era agganciata a un’immagine casuale. Pensai a una casa bassa e solitaria nella pianura, dietro un velo o una pellicola di alberi esili, a un uomo che rompeva il terreno come gli uomini l’hanno rotto fin dal primo mattino, e a un enorme cavallo grigio che masticava il proprio cibo a un palmo dalla testa di un bambino, come nella stalla dove nacque Cristo.

XXX

The Little Birds Who Won’t Sing

On my last morning on the Flemish coast, when I knew that in a few hours I should be in England, my eye fell upon one of the details of Gothic carving of which Flanders is full. I do not know whether the thing is old, though it was certainly knocked about and indecipherable, but at least it was certainly in the style and tradition of the early Middle Ages. It seemed to represent men bending themselves (not to say twisting themselves) to certain primary employments. Some seemed to be sailors tugging at ropes; others, I think, were reaping; others were energetically pouring something into something else. This is entirely characteristic of the pictures and carvings of the early thirteenth century, perhaps the most purely vigorous time in all history. The great Greeks preferred to carve their gods and heroes doing nothing. Splendid and philosophic as their composure is there is always about it something that marks the master of many slaves. But if there was one thing the early mediaevals liked it was representing people doing something— hunting or hawking, or rowing boats, or treading grapes, or making shoes, or cooking something in a pot. “Quicquid agunt homines, votum, timor, ira voluptas.” (I quote from memory.) The Middle Ages is full of that spirit in all its monuments and manuscripts. Chaucer retains it in his jolly insistence on everybody’s type of trade and toil. It was the earliest and youngest resurrection of Europe, the time when social order was strengthening, but had not yet become oppressive; the time when religious faiths were strong, but had not yet been exasperated. For this reason the whole effect of Greek and Gothic carving is different. The figures in the Elgin marbles, though often reining their steeds for an instant in the air, seem frozen for ever at that perfect instant. But a mass of mediaeval carving seems actually a sort of bustle or hubbub in stone. Sometimes one cannot help feeling that the groups actually move and mix, and the whole front of a great cathedral has the hum of a huge hive.

… . .

But about these particular figures there was a peculiarity of which I could not be sure. Those of them that had any heads had very curious heads, and it seemed to me that they had their mouths open. Whether or no this really meant anything or was an accident of nascent art I do not know; but in the course of wondering I recalled to my mind the fact that singing was connected with many of the tasks there suggested, that there were songs for reapers and songs for sailors hauling ropes. I was still thinking about this small problem when I walked along the pier at Ostend; and I heard some sailors uttering a measured shout as they laboured, and I remembered that sailors still sing in chorus while they work, and even sing different songs according to what part of their work they are doing. And a little while afterwards, when my sea journey was over, the sight of men working in the English fields reminded me again that there are still songs for harvest and for many agricultural routines. And I suddenly wondered why if this were so it should be quite unknown, for any modern trade to have a ritual poetry. How did people come to chant rude poems while pulling certain ropes or gathering certain fruit, and why did nobody do anything of the kind while producing any of the modern things? Why is a modern newspaper never printed by people singing in chorus? Why do shopmen seldom, if ever, sing?

… . .

If reapers sing while reaping, why should not auditors sing while auditing and bankers while banking? If there are songs for all the separate things that have to be done in a boat, why are there not songs for all the separate things that have to be done in a bank? As the train from Dover flew through the Kentish gardens, I tried to write a few songs suitable for commercial gentlemen. Thus, the work of bank clerks when casting up columns might begin with a thundering chorus in praise of Simple Addition.

“Up my lads and lift the ledgers, sleep and ease are o’er. Hear the Stars of Morning shouting: ‘Two and Two are four.’ Though the creeds and realms are reeling, though the sophists roar, Though we weep and pawn our watches, Two and Two are Four.”

“There’s a run upon the Bank—Stand away! For the Manager’s a crank and the Secretary drank, and the Upper Tooting Bank Turns to bay! Stand close: there is a run On the Bank. Of our ship, our royal one, let the ringing legend run, that she fired with every gun Ere she sank.

… . .

And as I came into the cloud of London I met a friend of mine who actually is in a bank, and submitted these suggestions in rhyme to him for use among his colleagues. But he was not very hopeful about the matter. It was not (he assured me) that he underrated the verses, or in any sense lamented their lack of polish. No; it was rather, he felt, an indefinable something in the very atmosphere of the society in which we live that makes it spiritually difficult to sing in banks. And I think he must be right; though the matter is very mysterious. I may observe here that I think there must be some mistake in the calculations of the Socialists. They put down all our distress, not to a moral tone, but to the chaos of private enterprise. Now, banks are private; but post-offices are Socialistic: therefore I naturally expected that the post-office would fall into the collectivist idea of a chorus. Judge of my surprise when the lady in my local post-office (whom I urged to sing) dismissed the idea with far more coldness than the bank clerk had done. She seemed indeed, to be in a considerably greater state of depression than he. Should any one suppose that this was the effect of the verses themselves, it is only fair to say that the specimen verse of the Post-Office Hymn ran thus:

“O’er London our letters are shaken like snow, Our wires o’er the world like the thunderbolts go. The news that may marry a maiden in Sark, Or kill an old lady in Finsbury Park.”

Chorus (with a swing of joy and energy):

“Or kill an old lady in Finsbury Park.”

And the more I thought about the matter the more painfully certain it seemed that the most important and typical modern things could not be done with a chorus. One could not, for instance, be a great financier and sing; because the essence of being a great financier is that you keep quiet. You could not even in many modern circles be a public man and sing; because in those circles the essence of being a public man is that you do nearly everything in private. Nobody would imagine a chorus of money-lenders. Every one knows the story of the solicitors’ corps of volunteers who, when the Colonel on the battlefield cried “Charge!” all said simultaneously, “Six-and-eightpence.” Men can sing while charging in a military, but hardly in a legal sense. And at the end of my reflections I had really got no further than the sub-conscious feeling of my friend the bank-clerk— that there is something spiritually suffocating about our life; not about our laws merely, but about our life. Bank-clerks are without songs, not because they are poor, but because they are sad. Sailors are much poorer. As I passed homewards I passed a little tin building of some religious sort, which was shaken with shouting as a trumpet is torn with its own tongue. THEY were singing anyhow; and I had for an instant a fancy I had often had before: that with us the super-human is the only place where you can find the human. Human nature is hunted and has fled into sanctuary.

XXX

I piccoli uccelli che non vogliono cantare

Nell’ultima mattina che trascorsi sulla costa fiamminga, quando sapevo che di lì a poche ore sarei stato in Inghilterra, il mio occhio cadde su uno di quei dettagli di intaglio gotico di cui le Fiandre sono piene. Non so se la cosa sia antica, sebbene fosse di certo malconcia e indecifrabile, ma era per lo meno di certo nello stile e nella tradizione del primo Medioevo. Pareva raffigurare uomini che si piegavano (per non dire si contorcevano) a certe occupazioni primarie. Alcuni sembravano marinai che tiravano funi; altri, credo, mietevano; altri versavano con energia qualcosa dentro qualcos’altro. Ciò è del tutto caratteristico delle immagini e degli intagli del primo Duecento, forse il tempo più puramente vigoroso di tutta la storia. I grandi greci preferivano scolpire i loro dèi ed eroi mentre non facevano nulla. Per quanto splendida e filosofica sia la loro compostezza, vi è sempre in essa qualcosa che segna il padrone di molti schiavi. Ma se c’era una cosa che i primi medievali amavano, era rappresentare gente intenta a fare qualcosa: cacciare o andare a caccia col falcone, o remare barche, o pigiare l’uva, o fabbricare scarpe, o cuocere qualcosa in una pentola. «Quicquid agunt homines, votum, timor, ira voluptas.» (Cito a memoria.) Il Medioevo è pieno di quello spirito in tutti i suoi monumenti e manoscritti. Chaucer lo conserva nella sua gioviale insistenza sul tipo di mestiere e di fatica di ciascuno. Fu la più antica e più giovane resurrezione d’Europa, il tempo in cui l’ordine sociale si andava rafforzando, ma non era ancora divenuto opprimente; il tempo in cui le fedi religiose erano forti, ma non ancora esasperate. Per questa ragione l’effetto complessivo dell’intaglio greco e di quello gotico è diverso. Le figure dei marmi di Elgin, benché spesso trattengano i loro destrieri per un istante a mezz’aria, paiono gelate per sempre in quell’istante perfetto. Ma una massa di intaglio medievale pare in realtà una sorta di trambusto o baccano nella pietra. Talvolta non si può fare a meno di sentire che i gruppi si muovono e si mescolano davvero, e l’intera facciata di una grande cattedrale ha il ronzio di un enorme alveare.

… . .

Ma a proposito di quelle figure particolari vi era una singolarità di cui non riuscivo a esser certo. Quelle di esse che avevano una testa avevano teste assai curiose, e mi parve che tenessero la bocca aperta. Se ciò significasse davvero qualcosa o fosse un caso di un’arte nascente non so; ma nel corso delle mie fantasticherie mi tornò alla mente il fatto che il canto era legato a molti dei compiti là suggeriti, che c’erano canti per i mietitori e canti per i marinai che tiravano le funi. Stavo ancora pensando a questo piccolo problema mentre camminavo lungo il molo di Ostenda; e udii alcuni marinai emettere un grido cadenzato mentre faticavano, e ricordai che i marinai cantano ancora in coro mentre lavorano, e cantano perfino canti diversi a seconda di quale parte del loro lavoro stiano facendo. E poco dopo, quando il mio viaggio per mare fu terminato, la vista di uomini al lavoro nei campi inglesi mi ricordò di nuovo che ci sono ancora canti per la mietitura e per molte incombenze agricole. E d’un tratto mi chiesi perché, se le cose stavano così, dovesse essere del tutto ignoto che un qualsiasi mestiere moderno avesse una poesia rituale. Come mai la gente era giunta a intonare rudi poemi tirando certe funi o cogliendo certi frutti, e perché nessuno faceva nulla del genere mentre produceva una qualsiasi delle cose moderne? Perché un giornale moderno non viene mai stampato da gente che canta in coro? Perché i bottegai cantano di rado, se mai lo fanno?

… . .

Se i mietitori cantano mentre mietono, perché i revisori non dovrebbero cantare mentre fanno la revisione dei conti e i banchieri mentre esercitano la banca? Se ci sono canti per tutte le singole cose che devono esser fatte su una barca, perché non ci sono canti per tutte le singole cose che devono esser fatte in una banca? Mentre il treno da Dover volava attraverso i giardini del Kent, provai a scrivere alcuni canti adatti ai signori del commercio. Così, il lavoro degli impiegati di banca nel sommare le colonne potrebbe cominciare con un tonante coro in lode della Semplice Addizione.

«Su, ragazzi, e sollevate i registri, il sonno e l’agio sono finiti. Udite le Stelle del Mattino gridare: ‘Due più due fa quattro.’ Benché i credi e i regni vacillino, benché i sofisti ruggiscano, benché piangiamo e impegniamo gli orologi, Due più Due fa Quattro.»

«C’è una corsa agli sportelli della Banca — Fatevi da parte! Perché il Direttore è un tipo bizzarro e il Segretario ha bevuto, e la Banca di Upper Tooting si volge a far fronte! State vicini: c’è una corsa alla Banca. Della nostra nave, la nostra regale, si diffonda la squillante leggenda, che ella fece fuoco con ogni cannone prima di affondare.

… . .

E come entrai nella nube di Londra incontrai un mio amico che effettivamente lavora in una banca, e gli sottoposi questi suggerimenti in rima perché ne facesse uso tra i suoi colleghi. Ma egli non era molto fiducioso al riguardo. Non era (mi assicurò) che sottovalutasse i versi, o che in alcun senso ne lamentasse la mancanza di levigatezza. No; era piuttosto, sentiva, un indefinibile qualcosa nell’atmosfera stessa della società in cui viviamo, che rende spiritualmente difficile cantare nelle banche. E credo che egli debba avere ragione; benché la cosa sia assai misteriosa. Posso osservare qui che credo debba esserci qualche errore nei calcoli dei socialisti. Essi attribuiscono tutta la nostra sventura non a un tono morale, ma al caos dell’iniziativa privata. Ora, le banche sono private; ma gli uffici postali sono socialisti: perciò mi aspettavo naturalmente che l’ufficio postale abbracciasse l’idea collettivista di un coro. Giudicate della mia sorpresa quando la signora del mio ufficio postale di quartiere (che esortavo a cantare) respinse l’idea con ben maggiore freddezza di quanta ne avesse mostrata l’impiegato di banca. Pareva anzi trovarsi in uno stato di depressione notevolmente più grave del suo. Qualora qualcuno supponesse che ciò fosse l’effetto dei versi stessi, è solo giusto dire che il verso di saggio dell’Inno delle Poste suonava così:

«Su Londra le nostre lettere si scuotono come neve, i nostri fili per il mondo vanno come le folgori. La notizia che può maritare una fanciulla a Sark, o uccidere una vecchia signora a Finsbury Park.»

Coro (con uno slancio di gioia ed energia):

«O uccidere una vecchia signora a Finsbury Park.»

E più pensavo alla cosa, più dolorosamente certo mi pareva che le cose moderne più importanti e tipiche non potessero esser fatte con un coro. Non si potrebbe, per esempio, essere un grande finanziere e cantare; perché l’essenza dell’essere un grande finanziere è che si sta zitti. Non si potrebbe, in molti ambienti moderni, neppure essere un uomo pubblico e cantare; perché in quegli ambienti l’essenza dell’essere un uomo pubblico è che si fa quasi tutto in privato. Nessuno immaginerebbe un coro di usurai. Tutti conoscono la storia del corpo di volontari dei procuratori legali che, quando il Colonnello sul campo di battaglia gridò «All’attacco!», dissero tutti simultaneamente: «Sei scellini e otto pence». Gli uomini sanno cantare mentre attaccano in senso militare, ma difficilmente in senso legale. E al termine delle mie riflessioni non ero giunto in realtà più in là del sentimento subcosciente del mio amico impiegato di banca: che vi è qualcosa di spiritualmente soffocante nella nostra vita; non nelle nostre leggi soltanto, ma nella nostra vita. Gli impiegati di banca sono privi di canti, non perché sono poveri, ma perché sono tristi. I marinai sono molto più poveri. Mentre passavo diretto verso casa, passai davanti a un piccolo edificio di latta di qualche genere religioso, che era scosso da grida come una tromba è lacerata dalla propria lingua. LORO cantavano comunque; e per un istante ebbi una fantasia che avevo già avuto spesso in passato: che presso di noi il sovrumano è il solo luogo in cui si possa trovare l’umano. La natura umana è braccata e si è rifugiata in un santuario.

XXXI

The Riddle of the Ivy

More than a month ago, when I was leaving London for a holiday, a friend walked into my flat in Battersea and found me surrounded with half-packed luggage.

“You seem to be off on your travels,” he said. “Where are you going?”

With a strap between my teeth I replied, “To Battersea.”

“The wit of your remark,” he said, “wholly escapes me.”

“I am going to Battersea,” I repeated, “to Battersea viâ Paris, Belfort, Heidelberg, and Frankfort. My remark contained no wit. It contained simply the truth. I am going to wander over the whole world until once more I find Battersea. Somewhere in the seas of sunset or of sunrise, somewhere in the ultimate archipelago of the earth, there is one little island which I wish to find: an island with low green hills and great white cliffs. Travellers tell me that it is called England (Scotch travellers tell me that it is called Britain), and there is a rumour that somewhere in the heart of it there is a beautiful place called Battersea.”

“I suppose it is unnecessary to tell you,” said my friend, with an air of intellectual comparison, “that this is Battersea?”

“It is quite unnecessary,” I said, “and it is spiritually untrue. I cannot see any Battersea here; I cannot see any London or any England. I cannot see that door. I cannot see that chair: because a cloud of sleep and custom has come across my eyes. The only way to get back to them is to go somewhere else; and that is the real object of travel and the real pleasure of holidays. Do you suppose that I go to France in order to see France? Do you suppose that I go to Germany in order to see Germany? I shall enjoy them both; but it is not them that I am seeking. I am seeking Battersea. The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land. Now I warn you that this Gladstone bag is compact and heavy, and that if you utter that word ‘paradox’ I shall hurl it at your head. I did not make the world, and I did not make it paradoxical. It is not my fault, it is the truth, that the only way to go to England is to go away from it.”

But when, after only a month’s travelling, I did come back to England, I was startled to find that I had told the exact truth. England did break on me at once beautifully new and beautifully old. To land at Dover is the right way to approach England (most things that are hackneyed are right), for then you see first the full, soft gardens of Kent, which are, perhaps, an exaggeration, but still a typical exaggeration, of the rich rusticity of England. As it happened, also, a fellow-traveller with whom I had fallen into conversation felt the same freshness, though for another cause. She was an American lady who had seen Europe, and had never yet seen England, and she expressed her enthusiasm in that simple and splendid way which is natural to Americans, who are the most idealistic people in the whole world. Their only danger is that the idealist can easily become the idolator. And the American has become so idealistic that he even idealises money. But (to quote a very able writer of American short stories) that is another story.

“I have never been in England before,” said the American lady, “yet it is so pretty that I feel as if I have been away from it for a long time.”

“So you have,” I said; “you have been away for three hundred years.”

“What a lot of ivy you have,” she said. “It covers the churches and it buries the houses. We have ivy; but I have never seen it grow like that.”

“I am interested to hear it,” I replied, “for I am making a little list of all the things that are really better in England. Even a month on the Continent, combined with intelligence, will teach you that there are many things that are better abroad. All the things that the DAILY MAIL calls English are better abroad. But there are things entirely English and entirely good. Kippers, for instance, and Free Trade, and front gardens, and individual liberty, and the Elizabethan drama, and hansom cabs, and cricket, and Mr. Will Crooks. Above all, there is the happy and holy custom of eating a heavy breakfast. I cannot imagine that Shakespeare began the day with rolls and coffee, like a Frenchman or a German. Surely he began with bacon or bloaters. In fact, a light bursts upon me; for the first time I see the real meaning of Mrs. Gallup and the Great Cipher. It is merely a mistake in the matter of a capital letter. I withdraw my objections; I accept everything; bacon did write Shakespeare.”

“I cannot look at anything but the ivy,” she said, “it looks so comfortable.”

While she looked at the ivy I opened for the first time for many weeks an English newspaper, and I read a speech of Mr. Balfour in which he said that the House of Lords ought to be preserved because it represented something in the nature of permanent public opinion of England, above the ebb and flow of the parties. Now Mr. Balfour is a perfectly sincere patriot, a man who, from his own point of view, thinks long and seriously about the public needs, and he is, moreover, a man of entirely exceptionable intellectual power. But alas, in spite of all this, when I had read that speech I thought with a heavy heart that there was one more thing that I had to add to the list of the specially English things, such as kippers and cricket; I had to add the specially English kind of humbug. In France things are attacked and defended for what they are. The Catholic Church is attacked because it is Catholic, and defended because it is Catholic. The Republic is defended because it is Republican, and attacked because it is Republican. But here is the ablest of English politicians consoling everybody by telling them that the House of Lords is not really the House of Lords, but something quite different, that the foolish accidental peers whom he meets every night are in some mysterious way experts upon the psychology of the democracy; that if you want to know what the very poor want you must ask the very rich, and that if you want the truth about Hoxton, you must ask for it at Hatfield. If the Conservative defender of the House of Lords were a logical French politician he would simply be a liar. But being an English politician he is simply a poet. The English love of believing that all is as it should be, the English optimism combined with the strong English imagination, is too much even for the obvious facts. In a cold, scientific sense, of course, Mr. Balfour knows that nearly all the Lords who are not Lords by accident are Lords by bribery. He knows, and (as Mr. Belloc excellently said) everybody in Parliament knows the very names of the peers who have purchased their peerages. But the glamour of comfort, the pleasure of reassuring himself and reassuring others, is too strong for this original knowledge; at last it fades from him, and he sincerely and earnestly calls on Englishmen to join with him in admiring an august and public-spirited Senate, having wholly forgotten that the Senate really consists of idiots whom he has himself despised; and adventurers whom he has himself ennobled.

“Your ivy is so beautifully soft and thick,” said the American lady, “it seems to cover almost everything. It must be the most poetical thing in England.”

“It is very beautiful,” I said, “and, as you say, it is very English. Charles Dickens, who was almost more English than England, wrote one of his rare poems about the beauty of ivy. Yes, by all means let us admire the ivy, so deep, so warm, so full of a genial gloom and a grotesque tenderness. Let us admire the ivy; and let us pray to God in His mercy that it may not kill the tree.”

XXXI

L’enigma dell’edera

Più di un mese fa, mentre lasciavo Londra per una vacanza, un amico entrò nel mio appartamento a Battersea e mi trovò circondato di bagagli riempiti a metà.

«Sembri in partenza per i tuoi viaggi», disse. «Dove vai?»

Con una cinghia fra i denti risposi: «A Battersea».

«Lo spirito della tua osservazione», disse, «mi sfugge del tutto».

«Vado a Battersea», ripetei, «a Battersea via Parigi, Belfort, Heidelberg e Francoforte. La mia osservazione non conteneva alcuno spirito. Conteneva semplicemente la verità. Ho intenzione di errare per il mondo intero finché non ritrovi ancora una volta Battersea. Da qualche parte nei mari del tramonto o dell’alba, da qualche parte nell’estremo arcipelago della terra, c’è una piccola isola che desidero trovare: un’isola dalle basse colline verdi e dalle grandi bianche scogliere. I viaggiatori mi dicono che si chiama Inghilterra (i viaggiatori scozzesi mi dicono che si chiama Britannia), e corre voce che da qualche parte nel suo cuore ci sia un bel luogo chiamato Battersea».

«Suppongo sia superfluo dirti», disse il mio amico, con un’aria di comparazione intellettuale, «che questa è Battersea?»

«È del tutto superfluo», dissi, «ed è spiritualmente falso. Non riesco a vedere qui alcuna Battersea; non riesco a vedere alcuna Londra né alcuna Inghilterra. Non riesco a vedere quella porta. Non riesco a vedere quella sedia: perché una nube di sonno e di consuetudine mi è calata sugli occhi. L’unico modo per tornare a esse è andare altrove; e questo è il vero scopo del viaggiare e il vero piacere delle vacanze. Credi forse che io vada in Francia per vedere la Francia? Credi forse che io vada in Germania per vedere la Germania? Le godrò entrambe; ma non sono esse che cerco. Cerco Battersea. Lo scopo intero del viaggiare non è posare il piede su terra straniera; è, alla fine, posare il piede sul proprio paese come su una terra straniera. Ora ti avverto che questa valigia Gladstone è compatta e pesante, e che se pronuncerai quella parola, ‘paradosso’, te la scaglierò in testa. Non ho fatto io il mondo, e non l’ho fatto io paradossale. Non è colpa mia, è la verità, che l’unico modo di andare in Inghilterra sia andarsene via da essa».

Ma quando, dopo appena un mese di viaggio, tornai davvero in Inghilterra, mi stupii nel trovare che avevo detto l’esatta verità. L’Inghilterra mi si dischiuse d’un tratto splendidamente nuova e splendidamente antica. Sbarcare a Dover è il modo giusto di avvicinarsi all’Inghilterra (la maggior parte delle cose trite sono giuste), poiché allora si vedono per primi i pieni, morbidi giardini del Kent, che sono, forse, un’esagerazione, ma pur sempre un’esagerazione tipica, della ricca rusticità dell’Inghilterra. Accadde inoltre che una compagna di viaggio con la quale avevo attaccato conversazione provasse la stessa freschezza, benché per un’altra causa. Era una signora americana che aveva visto l’Europa e non aveva ancora mai visto l’Inghilterra, ed esprimeva il suo entusiasmo in quel modo semplice e splendido che è naturale agli americani, i quali sono il popolo più idealista del mondo intero. Il loro unico pericolo è che l’idealista possa facilmente divenire idolatra. E l’americano è divenuto così idealista che idealizza perfino il denaro. Ma (per citare un abilissimo autore di racconti americani) questa è un’altra storia.

«Non sono mai stata in Inghilterra prima d’ora», disse la signora americana, «eppure è così graziosa che mi sento come se ne fossi stata lontana per un lungo tempo».

«E infatti lo sei stata», dissi; «ne sei stata lontana per trecento anni».

«Quanta edera avete», disse. «Ricopre le chiese e seppellisce le case. Anche noi abbiamo l’edera; ma non l’ho mai vista crescere così».

«Mi interessa udirlo», replicai, «poiché sto compilando un piccolo elenco di tutte le cose che sono davvero migliori in Inghilterra. Anche un solo mese sul Continente, unito all’intelligenza, vi insegnerà che ci sono molte cose che sono migliori all’estero. Tutte le cose che il DAILY MAIL chiama inglesi sono migliori all’estero. Ma ci sono cose interamente inglesi e interamente buone. Le aringhe affumicate, per esempio, e il Libero Scambio, e i giardinetti davanti a casa, e la libertà individuale, e il dramma elisabettiano, e le carrozzelle hansom, e il cricket, e il signor Will Crooks. Soprattutto, c’è la felice e santa consuetudine di consumare una colazione abbondante. Non riesco a immaginare che Shakespeare cominciasse la giornata con panini e caffè, come un francese o un tedesco. Certamente cominciava con la pancetta o le aringhe affumicate. Anzi, mi si accende una luce; per la prima volta vedo il vero significato della signora Gallup e del Gran Cifrario. È soltanto un errore in fatto di lettera maiuscola. Ritiro le mie obiezioni; accetto tutto: fu Bacon a scrivere Shakespeare».

«Non riesco a guardare nient’altro che l’edera», disse, «ha un aspetto così accogliente».

Mentre lei guardava l’edera, aprii per la prima volta da molte settimane un giornale inglese, e lessi un discorso del signor Balfour in cui diceva che la Camera dei Lord doveva essere conservata perché rappresentava qualcosa della natura dell’opinione pubblica permanente dell’Inghilterra, al di sopra del flusso e riflusso dei partiti. Ora, il signor Balfour è un patriota perfettamente sincero, un uomo che, dal proprio punto di vista, pensa a lungo e seriamente ai bisogni pubblici, ed è, per di più, un uomo di forza intellettuale del tutto eccezionale. Ma ahimè, nonostante tutto ciò, quando ebbi letto quel discorso pensai con cuore pesante che c’era un’altra cosa che dovevo aggiungere all’elenco delle cose specialmente inglesi, come le aringhe e il cricket; dovevo aggiungere quella specie specialmente inglese di ipocrisia. In Francia le cose vengono attaccate e difese per ciò che sono. La Chiesa cattolica viene attaccata perché è cattolica, e difesa perché è cattolica. La Repubblica viene difesa perché è repubblicana, e attaccata perché è repubblicana. Ma ecco il più abile dei politici inglesi che consola tutti dicendo loro che la Camera dei Lord non è in realtà la Camera dei Lord, ma qualcosa di del tutto diverso, che i pari sciocchi e casuali che egli incontra ogni sera sono, in qualche modo misterioso, esperti della psicologia della democrazia; che se si vuol sapere ciò che vogliono i poverissimi bisogna chiederlo ai ricchissimi, e che se si vuole la verità su Hoxton, bisogna andarla a chiedere a Hatfield. Se il difensore conservatore della Camera dei Lord fosse un logico politico francese, sarebbe semplicemente un bugiardo. Ma essendo un politico inglese è semplicemente un poeta. L’amore inglese di credere che tutto sia come dovrebbe essere, l’ottimismo inglese unito alla forte immaginazione inglese, è troppo perfino per gli evidenti fatti. In senso freddo e scientifico, naturalmente, il signor Balfour sa che quasi tutti i Lord che non sono Lord per caso lo sono per corruzione. Egli sa, e (come ha detto egregiamente il signor Belloc) chiunque in Parlamento sa, i nomi stessi dei pari che hanno acquistato il loro titolo nobiliare. Ma la seduzione del conforto, il piacere di rassicurare sé stesso e di rassicurare gli altri, è troppo forte per questa conoscenza originaria; alla fine essa svanisce in lui, ed egli sinceramente e con fervore invita gli inglesi a unirsi a lui nell’ammirare un augusto Senato animato da spirito pubblico, avendo del tutto dimenticato che il Senato in realtà è composto di idioti che egli stesso ha disprezzato; e di avventurieri che egli stesso ha nobilitato.

«La vostra edera è così splendidamente soffice e fitta», disse la signora americana, «pare ricoprire quasi ogni cosa. Dev’essere la cosa più poetica dell’Inghilterra».

«È bellissima», dissi, «e, come dite, è molto inglese. Charles Dickens, che era quasi più inglese dell’Inghilterra, scrisse una delle sue rare poesie sulla bellezza dell’edera. Sì, ammiriamo pure l’edera, così profonda, così calda, così colma di una geniale malinconia e di una grottesca tenerezza. Ammiriamo l’edera; e preghiamo Dio nella Sua misericordia affinché non uccida l’albero».

XXXII

The Travellers in State

The other day, to my great astonishment, I caught a train; it was a train going into the Eastern Counties, and I only just caught it. And while I was running along the train (amid general admiration) I noticed that there were a quite peculiar and unusual number of carriages marked “Engaged.” On five, six, seven, eight, nine carriages was pasted the little notice: at five, six, seven, eight, nine windows were big bland men staring out in the conscious pride of possession. Their bodies seemed more than usually impenetrable, their faces more than usual placid. It could not be the Derby, if only for the minor reasons that it was the opposite direction and the wrong day. It could hardly be the King. It could hardly be the French President. For, though these distinguished persons naturally like to be private for three hours, they are at least public for three minutes. A crowd can gather to see them step into the train; and there was no crowd here, or any police ceremonial.

Who were those awful persons, who occupied more of the train than a bricklayer’s beanfeast, and yet were more fastidious and delicate than the King’s own suite? Who were these that were larger than a mob, yet more mysterious than a monarch? Was it possible that instead of our Royal House visiting the Tsar, he was really visiting us? Or does the House of Lords have a breakfast? I waited and wondered until the train slowed down at some station in the direction of Cambridge. Then the large, impenetrable men got out, and after them got out the distinguished holders of the engaged seats. They were all dressed decorously in one colour; they had neatly cropped hair; and they were chained together.

I looked across the carriage at its only other occupant, and our eyes met. He was a small, tired-looking man, and, as I afterwards learnt, a native of Cambridge; by the look of him, some working tradesman there, such as a journeyman tailor or a small clock-mender. In order to make conversation I said I wondered where the convicts were going. His mouth twitched with the instinctive irony of our poor, and he said: “I don’t s’pose they’re goin’ on an ‘oliday at the seaside with little spades and pails.” I was naturally delighted, and, pursuing the same vein of literary invention, I suggested that perhaps dons were taken down to Cambridge chained together like this. And as he lived in Cambridge, and had seen several dons, he was pleased with such a scheme. Then when we had ceased to laugh, we suddenly became quite silent; and the bleak, grey eyes of the little man grew sadder and emptier than an open sea. I knew what he was thinking, because I was thinking the same, because all modern sophists are only sophists, and there is such a thing as mankind. Then at last (and it fell in as exactly as the right last note of a tune one is trying to remember) he said: “Well, I s’pose we ‘ave to do it.” And in those three things, his first speech and his silence and his second speech, there were all the three great fundamental facts of the English democracy, its profound sense of humour, its profound sense of pathos, and its profound sense of helplessness.

… . .

It cannot be too often repeated that all real democracy is an attempt (like that of a jolly hostess) to bring the shy people out. For every practical purpose of a political state, for every practical purpose of a tea-party, he that abaseth himself must be exalted. At a tea-party it is equally obvious that he that exalteth himself must be abased, if possible without bodily violence. Now people talk of democracy as being coarse and turbulent: it is a self-evident error in mere history. Aristocracy is the thing that is always coarse and turbulent: for it means appealing to the self-confident people. Democracy means appealing to the different people. Democracy means getting those people to vote who would never have the cheek to govern: and (according to Christian ethics) the precise people who ought to govern are the people who have not the cheek to do it. There is a strong example of this truth in my friend in the train. The only two types we hear of in this argument about crime and punishment are two very rare and abnormal types.

We hear of the stark sentimentalist, who talks as if there were no problem at all: as if physical kindness would cure everything: as if one need only pat Nero and stroke Ivan the Terrible. This mere belief in bodily humanitarianism is not sentimental; it is simply snobbish. For if comfort gives men virtue, the comfortable classes ought to be virtuous—which is absurd. Then, again, we do hear of the yet weaker and more watery type of sentimentalists: I mean the sentimentalist who says, with a sort of splutter, “Flog the brutes!” or who tells you with innocent obscenity “what he would do” with a certain man— always supposing the man’s hands were tied.

This is the more effeminate type of the two; but both are weak and unbalanced. And it is only these two types, the sentimental humanitarian and the sentimental brutalitarian, whom one hears in the modern babel. Yet you very rarely meet either of them in a train. You never meet anyone else in a controversy. The man you meet in a train is like this man that I met: he is emotionally decent, only he is intellectually doubtful. So far from luxuriating in the loathsome things that could be “done” to criminals, he feels bitterly how much better it would be if nothing need be done. But something must be done. “I s’pose we ‘ave to do it.” In short, he is simply a sane man, and of a sane man there is only one safe definition. He is a man who can have tragedy in his heart and comedy in his head.

… . .

Now the real difficulty of discussing decently this problem of the proper treatment of criminals is that both parties discuss the matter without any direct human feeling. The denouncers of wrong are as cold as the organisers of wrong. Humanitarianism is as hard as inhumanity.

Let me take one practical instance. I think the flogging arranged in our modern prisons is a filthy torture; all its scientific paraphernalia, the photographing, the medical attendance, prove that it goes to the last foul limit of the boot and rack. The cat is simply the rack without any of its intellectual reasons. Holding this view strongly, I open the ordinary humanitarian books or papers and I find a phrase like this, “The lash is a relic of barbarism.” So is the plough. So is the fishing net. So is the horn or the staff or the fire lit in winter. What an inexpressibly feeble phrase for anything one wants to attack—a relic of barbarism! It is as if a man walked naked down the street to-morrow, and we said that his clothes were not quite in the latest fashion. There is nothing particularly nasty about being a relic of barbarism. Man is a relic of barbarism. Civilisation is a relic of barbarism.

But torture is not a relic of barbarism at all. In actuality it is simply a relic of sin; but in comparative history it may well be called a relic of civilisation. It has always been most artistic and elaborate when everything else was most artistic and elaborate. Thus it was detailed exquisite in the late Roman Empire, in the complex and gorgeous sixteenth century, in the centralised French monarchy a hundred years before the Revolution, and in the great Chinese civilisation to this day. This is, first and last, the frightful thing we must remember. In so far as we grow instructed and refined we are not (in any sense whatever) naturally moving away from torture. We may be moving towards torture. We must know what we are doing, if we are to avoid the enormous secret cruelty which has crowned every historic civilisation.

The train moves more swiftly through the sunny English fields. They have taken the prisoners away, and I do not know what they have done with them.

XXXII

I viaggiatori in pompa magna

L’altro giorno, con mia grande sorpresa, presi un treno; era un treno diretto verso le Contee Orientali, e lo presi appena in tempo. E mentre correvo lungo il treno (fra l’ammirazione generale) notai che c’era un numero del tutto peculiare e insolito di carrozze contrassegnate come «Riservate». Su cinque, sei, sette, otto, nove carrozze era incollato il piccolo avviso: a cinque, sei, sette, otto, nove finestrini stavano grandi uomini imperturbabili che guardavano fuori con la consapevole fierezza del possesso. I loro corpi parevano più che mai impenetrabili, i loro volti più che mai placidi. Non poteva trattarsi del Derby, non foss’altro che per le ragioni minori che era la direzione opposta e il giorno sbagliato. Difficilmente poteva trattarsi del re. Difficilmente poteva trattarsi del Presidente francese. Poiché, benché a queste persone illustri piaccia naturalmente essere private per tre ore, esse sono almeno pubbliche per tre minuti. Una folla può radunarsi per vederle salire sul treno; e qui non c’era folla alcuna, né alcun cerimoniale di polizia.

Chi erano quelle persone tremende, che occupavano più spazio del treno di quanto ne occuperebbe la scampagnata di un muratore, e tuttavia erano più schizzinose e delicate del re stesso col suo seguito? Chi erano costoro, che erano più numerosi di una folla, eppure più misteriosi di un monarca? Era possibile che, invece della nostra Reale Casa in visita allo Zar, fosse lui in realtà a far visita a noi? Oppure la Camera dei Lord fa colazione? Attesi e mi domandai, finché il treno rallentò a una qualche stazione in direzione di Cambridge. Allora i grandi uomini impenetrabili scesero, e dopo di loro scesero gli illustri titolari dei posti riservati. Erano tutti vestiti con decoro di un solo colore; avevano i capelli tagliati a spazzola; ed erano incatenati insieme.

Guardai attraverso lo scompartimento l’unico altro occupante, e i nostri occhi si incontrarono. Era un uomo piccolo, dall’aria stanca, e, come appresi in seguito, nativo di Cambridge; a giudicare dall’aspetto, qualche artigiano del luogo, come un sarto a giornata o un piccolo aggiustatore di orologi. Per attaccare conversazione dissi che mi domandavo dove fossero diretti i forzati. La sua bocca ebbe un guizzo con l’ironia istintiva della nostra povera gente, ed egli disse: «‘Un credo proprio ch’andranno a fa’ ‘na vacanza al mare co’ le palette e i secchielli». Ne fui naturalmente deliziato e, proseguendo nella stessa vena d’invenzione letteraria, suggerii che forse i docenti universitari venivano portati giù a Cambridge incatenati insieme in quel modo. E poiché egli viveva a Cambridge, e aveva veduto parecchi docenti, la trovò una bella idea. Poi, quando avemmo cessato di ridere, d’un tratto restammo del tutto silenziosi; e i tetri, grigi occhi dell’ometto si fecero più tristi e più vuoti di un mare aperto. Sapevo ciò che stava pensando, perché stavo pensando lo stesso, perché tutti i sofisti moderni non sono che sofisti, ed esiste una cosa che si chiama genere umano. Poi infine (e la cosa cadde a puntino, esatta come la giusta nota finale di un motivo che si cerca di ricordare) egli disse: «Beh, suppongo che dobbiamo farlo». E in quelle tre cose, il suo primo discorso e il suo silenzio e il suo secondo discorso, c’erano tutti e tre i grandi fatti fondamentali della democrazia inglese: il suo profondo senso dell’umorismo, il suo profondo senso del pathos e il suo profondo senso dell’impotenza.

… . .

Non si ripeterà mai abbastanza che ogni vera democrazia è un tentativo (come quello di una gioviale padrona di casa) di far uscire allo scoperto i timidi. Per ogni scopo pratico di uno Stato politico, per ogni scopo pratico di un tè fra amici, chi si umilia dev’essere esaltato. A un tè fra amici è del pari evidente che chi si esalta dev’essere umiliato, se possibile senza violenza fisica. Ora, si parla della democrazia come di qualcosa di rozzo e turbolento: è un errore evidente di per nella semplice storia. L’aristocrazia è la cosa che è sempre rozza e turbolenta: perché significa appellarsi alle persone sicure di . La Democrazia significa appellarsi alle persone diverse. La Democrazia significa indurre a votare quelle persone che non avrebbero mai la sfacciataggine di governare: e (secondo l’etica cristiana) le persone precise che dovrebbero governare sono le persone che non hanno la sfacciataggine di farlo. C’è un forte esempio di questa verità nel mio amico del treno. I soli due tipi di cui si sente parlare in questa discussione sul delitto e sul castigo sono due tipi assai rari e anomali.

Sentiamo parlare del sentimentalista bell’e buono, che parla come se non ci fosse alcun problema: come se la benevolenza fisica potesse guarire ogni cosa: come se bastasse dare un buffetto a Nerone e accarezzare Ivan il Terribile. Questa mera fede nell’umanitarismo corporeo non è sentimentale; è semplicemente snobismo. Poiché, se l’agio dà agli uomini la virtù, le classi agiate dovrebbero essere virtuose — il che è assurdo. Poi, di nuovo, sentiamo parlare del tipo di sentimentalista ancora più fiacco e più acquoso: intendo il sentimentalista che dice, con una sorta di sputacchiare, «Frustate quelle bestie!», o che vi racconta con innocente oscenità «ciò che egli farebbe» a un certo uomo — sempre supponendo che le mani dell’uomo fossero legate.

Questo è il più effeminato dei due tipi; ma entrambi sono deboli e squilibrati. Ed è soltanto questi due tipi, l’umanitario sentimentale e il brutalista sentimentale, che si odono nella babele moderna. Eppure assai di rado si incontra l’uno o l’altro su un treno. Non si incontra mai nessun altro in una controversia. L’uomo che si incontra su un treno è come questo che ho incontrato io: è emotivamente a posto, solo che è intellettualmente incerto. Ben lungi dal crogiolarsi nelle cose ripugnanti che si potrebbero «fare» ai criminali, egli sente con amarezza quanto sarebbe meglio se non ci fosse nulla da fare. Ma qualcosa dev’essere fatto. «Suppongo che dobbiamo farlo». In breve, egli è semplicemente un uomo sano di mente, e di un uomo sano di mente c’è una sola definizione sicura. È un uomo che sa avere la tragedia nel cuore e la commedia nella testa.

… . .

Ora, la vera difficoltà di discutere in modo decoroso questo problema del giusto trattamento dei criminali è che entrambe le parti discutono la questione senza alcun sentimento umano diretto. I fustigatori dell’ingiustizia sono freddi quanto gli organizzatori dell’ingiustizia. L’umanitarismo è duro quanto la disumanità.

Prendiamo un solo esempio concreto. Ritengo che la fustigazione praticata nelle nostre prigioni moderne sia una tortura immonda; tutto il suo apparato scientifico, la fotografia, l’assistenza medica, provano che essa spinge fino all’ultimo turpe limite dello stivale e del cavalletto. Il gatto a nove code è semplicemente il cavalletto privo di tutte le sue ragioni intellettuali. Sostenendo con forza questa opinione, apro i comuni libri o giornali umanitari e vi trovo una frase come questa: «La sferza è un residuo di barbarie». Lo è anche l’aratro. Lo è anche la rete da pesca. Lo è anche il corno, o il bastone, o il fuoco acceso d’inverno. Che frase inesprimibilmente fiacca per qualsiasi cosa si voglia attaccare: un residuo di barbarie! È come se un uomo camminasse nudo per la strada domani, e noi dicessimo che i suoi abiti non erano proprio dell’ultima moda. Non c’è nulla di particolarmente ripugnante nell’essere un residuo di barbarie. L’uomo è un residuo di barbarie. La civiltà è un residuo di barbarie.

Ma la tortura non è affatto un residuo di barbarie. In realtà è semplicemente un residuo di peccato; ma nella storia comparata la si può ben chiamare un residuo di civiltà. È sempre stata più artistica ed elaborata quando ogni altra cosa era più artistica ed elaborata. Così fu squisitamente minuziosa nel tardo Impero romano, nel complesso e sfarzoso Cinquecento, nella monarchia francese centralizzata cent’anni prima della Rivoluzione, e nella grande civiltà cinese fino a oggi. Questa è, prima e soprattutto, la cosa spaventosa che dobbiamo ricordare. Nella misura in cui diveniamo istruiti e raffinati, non ci stiamo (in nessun senso qualsivoglia) naturalmente allontanando dalla tortura. Potremmo starci muovendo verso la tortura. Dobbiamo sapere ciò che facciamo, se vogliamo evitare l’enorme crudeltà segreta che ha coronato ogni civiltà storica.

Il treno avanza più rapido attraverso i soleggiati campi inglesi. Hanno portato via i prigionieri, e io non so che cosa ne abbiano fatto.

XXXIII

The Prehistoric Railway Station

A railway station is an admirable place, although Ruskin did not think so; he did not think so because he himself was even more modern than the railway station. He did not think so because he was himself feverish, irritable, and snorting like an engine. He could not value the ancient silence of the railway station.

“In a railway station,” he said, “you are in a hurry, and therefore, miserable”; but you need not be either unless you are as modern as Ruskin. The true philosopher does not think of coming just in time for his train except as a bet or a joke.

The only way of catching a train I have ever discovered is to be late for the one before. Do this, and you will find in a railway station much of the quietude and consolation of a cathedral. It has many of the characteristics of a great ecclesiastical building; it has vast arches, void spaces, coloured lights, and, above all, it has recurrence or ritual. It is dedicated to the celebration of water and fire the two prime elements of all human ceremonial. Lastly, a station resembles the old religions rather than the new religions in this point, that people go there. In connection with this it should also be remembered that all popular places, all sites, actually used by the people, tend to retain the best routine of antiquity very much more than any localities or machines used by any privileged class. Things are not altered so quickly or completely by common people as they are by fashionable people. Ruskin could have found more memories of the Middle Ages in the Underground Railway than in the grand hotels outside the stations. The great palaces of pleasure which the rich build in London all have brazen and vulgar names. Their names are either snobbish, like the Hotel Cecil, or (worse still) cosmopolitan like the Hotel Metropole. But when I go in a third-class carriage from the nearest circle station to Battersea to the nearest circle station to the DAILY NEWS, the names of the stations are one long litany of solemn and saintly memories. Leaving Victoria I come to a park belonging especially to St. James the Apostle; thence I go to Westminster Bridge, whose very name alludes to the awful Abbey; Charing Cross holds up the symbol of Christendom; the next station is called a Temple; and Blackfriars remembers the mediaeval dream of a Brotherhood.

If you wish to find the past preserved, follow the million feet of the crowd. At the worst the uneducated only wear down old things by sheer walking. But the educated kick them down out of sheer culture.

I feel all this profoundly as I wander about the empty railway station, where I have no business of any kind. I have extracted a vast number of chocolates from automatic machines; I have obtained cigarettes, toffee, scent, and other things that I dislike by the same machinery; I have weighed myself, with sublime results; and this sense, not only of the healthiness of popular things, but of their essential antiquity and permanence, is still in possession of my mind. I wander up to the bookstall, and my faith survives even the wild spectacle of modern literature and journalism. Even in the crudest and most clamorous aspects of the newspaper world I still prefer the popular to the proud and fastidious. If I had to choose between taking in the DAILY MAIL and taking in the TIMES (the dilemma reminds one of a nightmare), I should certainly cry out with the whole of my being for the DAILY MAIL. Even mere bigness preached in a frivolous way is not so irritating as mere meanness preached in a big and solemn way. People buy the DAILY MAIL, but they do not believe in it. They do believe in the TIMES, and (apparently) they do not buy it. But the more the output of paper upon the modern world is actually studied, the more it will be found to be in all its essentials ancient and human, like the name of Charing Cross. Linger for two or three hours at a station bookstall (as I am doing), and you will find that it gradually takes on the grandeur and historic allusiveness of the Vatican or Bodleian Library. The novelty is all superficial; the tradition is all interior and profound. The DAILY MAIL has new editions, but never a new idea. Everything in a newspaper that is not the old human love of altar or fatherland is the old human love of gossip. Modern writers have often made game of the old chronicles because they chiefly record accidents and prodigies; a church struck by lightning, or a calf with six legs. They do not seem to realise that this old barbaric history is the same as new democratic journalism. It is not that the savage chronicle has disappeared. It is merely that the savage chronicle now appears every morning.

As I moved thus mildly and vaguely in front of the bookstall, my eye caught a sudden and scarlet title that for the moment staggered me. On the outside of a book I saw written in large letters, “Get On or Get Out.” The title of the book recalled to me with a sudden revolt and reaction all that does seem unquestionably new and nasty; it reminded me that there was in the world of to-day that utterly idiotic thing, a worship of success; a thing that only means surpassing anybody in anything; a thing that may mean being the most successful person in running away from a battle; a thing that may mean being the most successfully sleepy of the whole row of sleeping men. When I saw those words the silence and sanctity of the railway station were for the moment shadowed. Here, I thought, there is at any rate something anarchic and violent and vile. This title, at any rate, means the most disgusting individualism of this individualistic world. In the fury of my bitterness and passion I actually bought the book, thereby ensuring that my enemy would get some of my money. I opened it prepared to find some brutality, some blasphemy, which would really be an exception to the general silence and sanctity of the railway station. I was prepared to find something in the book that was as infamous as its title.

I was disappointed. There was nothing at all corresponding to the furious decisiveness of the remarks on the cover. After reading it carefully I could not discover whether I was really to get on or to get out; but I had a vague feeling that I should prefer to get out. A considerable part of the book, particularly towards the end, was concerned with a detailed description of the life of Napoleon Bonaparte. Undoubtedly Napoleon got on. He also got out. But I could not discover in any way how the details of his life given here were supposed to help a person aiming at success. One anecdote described how Napoleon always wiped his pen on his knee-breeches. I suppose the moral is: always wipe your pen on your knee-breeches, and you will win the battle of Wagram. Another story told that he let loose a gazelle among the ladies of his Court. Clearly the brutal practical inference is— loose a gazelle among the ladies of your acquaintance, and you will be Emperor of the French. Get on with a gazelle or get out. The book entirely reconciled me to the soft twilight of the station. Then I suddenly saw that there was a symbolic division which might be paralleled from biology. Brave men are vertebrates; they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle. But these modern cowards are all crustaceans; their hardness is all on the cover and their softness is inside. But the softness is there; everything in this twilight temple is soft.

XXXIII

La stazione ferroviaria preistorica

Una stazione ferroviaria è un luogo ammirevole, benché Ruskin non la pensasse così; non la pensava così perché egli stesso era ancora più moderno della stazione ferroviaria. Non la pensava così perché era egli stesso febbrile, irritabile e sbuffante come una locomotiva. Non sapeva apprezzare l’antico silenzio della stazione ferroviaria.

«In una stazione ferroviaria», diceva, «si ha fretta, e perciò si è infelici»; ma non si è né l’uno né l’altro, a meno di non essere moderni quanto Ruskin. Il vero filosofo non pensa mai ad arrivare giusto in tempo per il suo treno, se non come a una scommessa o a uno scherzo.

L’unico modo di prendere un treno che io abbia mai scoperto è essere in ritardo per quello precedente. Fate questo, e troverete in una stazione ferroviaria molta della quiete e della consolazione di una cattedrale. Ha molte delle caratteristiche di un grande edificio ecclesiastico; ha vaste arcate, spazi vuoti, luci colorate e, soprattutto, ha la ricorrenza, ossia il rito. È consacrata alla celebrazione dell’acqua e del fuoco, i due elementi primi di ogni cerimoniale umano. Infine, una stazione somiglia alle antiche religioni piuttosto che a quelle nuove in questo punto: che la gente ci va. In relazione a ciò va anche ricordato che tutti i luoghi popolari, tutti i siti effettivamente usati dal popolo, tendono a conservare la migliore routine dell’antichità assai più di qualsiasi località o macchina usata da una qualsiasi classe privilegiata. Le cose non vengono alterate così in fretta o così completamente dalla gente comune come dalla gente alla moda. Ruskin avrebbe potuto trovare più memorie del Medioevo nella Metropolitana che nei grandi alberghi fuori dalle stazioni. I grandi palazzi del piacere che i ricchi edificano a Londra hanno tutti nomi sfacciati e volgari. I loro nomi sono o snobistici, come l’Hotel Cecil, o (peggio ancora) cosmopoliti, come l’Hotel Metropole. Ma quando vado in una carrozza di terza classe dalla più vicina stazione della circolare di Battersea alla più vicina stazione della circolare del DAILY NEWS, i nomi delle stazioni sono una lunga litania di memorie solenni e sante. Lasciando Victoria giungo a un parco appartenente specialmente a San Giacomo Apostolo; di lì vado a Westminster Bridge, il cui nome stesso allude alla tremenda Abbazia; Charing Cross innalza il simbolo della Cristianità; la stazione successiva si chiama Temple; e Blackfriars ricorda il sogno medievale di una Confraternita.

Se desiderate trovare il passato conservato, seguite i milioni di piedi della folla. Alla peggio, gli incolti logorano soltanto le cose antiche a forza di camminarci sopra. Ma i colti le abbattono a calci per pura cultura.

Sento tutto questo profondamente mentre vago per la stazione ferroviaria deserta, dove non ho affari di alcun genere. Ho estratto un vasto numero di cioccolatini dalle macchine automatiche; ho ottenuto sigarette, caramelle mou, profumo e altre cose che detesto con lo stesso meccanismo; mi sono pesato, con sublimi risultati; e questo senso, non soltanto della salubrità delle cose popolari, ma della loro essenziale antichità e permanenza, è ancora padrone della mia mente. Vago fino all’edicola dei libri, e la mia fede sopravvive perfino al selvaggio spettacolo della letteratura e del giornalismo moderni. Anche negli aspetti più crudi e più clamorosi del mondo dei giornali preferisco tuttora il popolare all’orgoglioso e schizzinoso. Se dovessi scegliere tra abbonarmi al DAILY MAIL e abbonarmi al TIMES (il dilemma ricorda un incubo), griderei di certo con tutto il mio essere per il DAILY MAIL. Perfino la mera grossolanità predicata in modo frivolo non è tanto irritante quanto la mera meschinità predicata in modo grande e solenne. La gente compra il DAILY MAIL, ma non ci crede. Crede invece nel TIMES, e (a quanto pare) non lo compra. Ma quanto più si studia realmente la produzione di carta riversata sul mondo moderno, tanto più la si troverà, in tutti i suoi tratti essenziali, antica e umana, come il nome di Charing Cross. Indugiate per due o tre ore all’edicola di una stazione (come sto facendo io), e scoprirete che essa assume gradualmente la grandiosità e l’allusività storica del Vaticano o della Bodleian Library. La novità è tutta superficiale; la tradizione è tutta interiore e profonda. Il DAILY MAIL ha nuove edizioni, ma mai una nuova idea. Tutto ciò che in un giornale non è l’antico amore umano per l’altare o per la patria è l’antico amore umano per il pettegolezzo. Gli scrittori moderni hanno spesso deriso le antiche cronache perché registrano soprattutto incidenti e prodigi; una chiesa colpita dal fulmine, o un vitello con sei zampe. Non paiono rendersi conto che questa vecchia storia barbarica è la stessa cosa del nuovo giornalismo democratico. Non è che la cronaca selvaggia sia scomparsa. È soltanto che la cronaca selvaggia ora compare ogni mattina.

Mentre mi muovevo così, mite e vago, davanti all’edicola, il mio occhio fu colpito da un titolo improvviso e scarlatto che per un momento mi sconvolse. Sulla copertina di un libro vidi scritto a grandi lettere: «Emergi o Sparisci». Il titolo del libro mi richiamò alla mente con una subitanea rivolta e reazione tutto ciò che pare indiscutibilmente nuovo e ripugnante; mi ricordò che c’era nel mondo di oggi quella cosa del tutto idiota, il culto del successo; una cosa che significa soltanto superare qualcuno in qualcosa; una cosa che può significare essere la persona di maggior successo nel fuggire da una battaglia; una cosa che può significare essere il più riuscito dormiglione dell’intera fila di uomini addormentati. Quando vidi quelle parole, il silenzio e la santità della stazione ferroviaria furono per un momento offuscati. Qui, pensai, c’è quanto meno qualcosa di anarchico e violento e vile. Questo titolo, quanto meno, significa il più disgustoso individualismo di questo mondo individualistico. Nella furia della mia amarezza e passione comprai davvero il libro, assicurando così che il mio nemico avrebbe avuto un po’ del mio denaro. Lo aprii preparato a trovarvi qualche brutalità, qualche bestemmia, che fosse davvero un’eccezione al generale silenzio e alla santità della stazione ferroviaria. Ero preparato a trovare nel libro qualcosa di infame quanto il suo titolo.

Rimasi deluso. Non c’era nulla che corrispondesse alla furiosa perentorietà delle parole sulla copertina. Dopo averlo letto con cura non riuscii a scoprire se davvero dovessi emergere o sparire; ma ebbi la vaga sensazione che avrei preferito sparire. Una parte considerevole del libro, particolarmente verso la fine, riguardava una descrizione dettagliata della vita di Napoleone Bonaparte. Senza dubbio Napoleone emerse. E anche sparì. Ma non riuscii in alcun modo a scoprire come i particolari della sua vita qui riportati dovessero aiutare una persona che mira al successo. Un aneddoto descriveva come Napoleone si asciugasse sempre la penna sui calzoni al ginocchio. Suppongo che la morale sia: asciugati sempre la penna sui calzoni al ginocchio, e vincerai la battaglia di Wagram. Un’altra storia raccontava che egli lasciò libera una gazzella tra le dame della sua Corte. Chiaramente la brutale inferenza pratica è: lascia libera una gazzella tra le dame che frequenti, e sarai Imperatore dei francesi. Emergi con una gazzella o sparisci. Il libro mi riconciliò completamente col morbido crepuscolo della stazione. Poi d’un tratto vidi che c’era una divisione simbolica che si potrebbe accostare alla biologia. Gli uomini coraggiosi sono vertebrati; hanno la morbidezza in superficie e la durezza al centro. Ma questi codardi moderni sono tutti crostacei; la loro durezza è tutta sul guscio e la loro morbidezza è all’interno. Ma la morbidezza c’è; ogni cosa in questo tempio crepuscolare è morbida.

XXXIV

The Diabolist

Every now and then I have introduced into my essays an element of truth. Things that really happened have been mentioned, such as meeting President Kruger or being thrown out of a cab. What I have now to relate really happened; yet there was no element in it of practical politics or of personal danger. It was simply a quiet conversation which I had with another man. But that quiet conversation was by far the most terrible thing that has ever happened to me in my life. It happened so long ago that I cannot be certain of the exact words of the dialogue, only of its main questions and answers; but there is one sentence in it for which I can answer absolutely and word for word. It was a sentence so awful that I could not forget it if I would. It was the last sentence spoken; and it was not spoken to me.

The thing befell me in the days when I was at an art school. An art school is different from almost all other schools or colleges in this respect: that, being of new and crude creation and of lax discipline, it presents a specially strong contrast between the industrious and the idle. People at an art school either do an atrocious amount of work or do no work at all. I belonged, along with other charming people, to the latter class; and this threw me often into the society of men who were very different from myself, and who were idle for reasons very different from mine. I was idle because I was very much occupied; I was engaged about that time in discovering, to my own extreme and lasting astonishment, that I was not an atheist. But there were others also at loose ends who were engaged in discovering what Carlyle called (I think with needless delicacy) the fact that ginger is hot in the mouth.

I value that time, in short, because it made me acquainted with a good representative number of blackguards. In this connection there are two very curious things which the critic of human life may observe. The first is the fact that there is one real difference between men and women; that women prefer to talk in twos, while men prefer to talk in threes. The second is that when you find (as you often do) three young cads and idiots going about together and getting drunk together every day you generally find that one of the three cads and idiots is (for some extraordinary reason) not a cad and not an idiot. In these small groups devoted to a drivelling dissipation there is almost always one man who seems to have condescended to his company; one man who, while he can talk a foul triviality with his fellows, can also talk politics with a Socialist, or philosophy with a Catholic.

It was just such a man whom I came to know well. It was strange, perhaps, that he liked his dirty, drunken society; it was stranger still, perhaps, that he liked my society. For hours of the day he would talk with me about Milton or Gothic architecture; for hours of the night he would go where I have no wish to follow him, even in speculation. He was a man with a long, ironical face, and close and red hair; he was by class a gentleman, and could walk like one, but preferred, for some reason, to walk like a groom carrying two pails. He looked like a sort of Super-jockey; as if some archangel had gone on the Turf. And I shall never forget the half-hour in which he and I argued about real things for the first and the last time.

… . .

Along the front of the big building of which our school was a part ran a huge slope of stone steps, higher, I think, than those that lead up to St. Paul’s Cathedral. On a black wintry evening he and I were wandering on these cold heights, which seemed as dreary as a pyramid under the stars. The one thing visible below us in the blackness was a burning and blowing fire; for some gardener (I suppose) was burning something in the grounds, and from time to time the red sparks went whirling past us like a swarm of scarlet insects in the dark. Above us also it was gloom; but if one stared long enough at that upper darkness, one saw vertical stripes of grey in the black and then became conscious of the colossal façade of the Doric building, phantasmal, yet filling the sky, as if Heaven were still filled with the gigantic ghost of Paganism.

… . .

The man asked me abruptly why I was becoming orthodox. Until he said it, I really had not known that I was; but the moment he had said it I knew it to be literally true. And the process had been so long and full that I answered him at once out of existing stores of explanation.

“I am becoming orthodox,” I said, “because I have come, rightly or wrongly, after stretching my brain till it bursts, to the old belief that heresy is worse even than sin. An error is more menacing than a crime, for an error begets crimes. An Imperialist is worse than a pirate. For an Imperialist keeps a school for pirates; he teaches piracy disinterestedly and without an adequate salary. A Free Lover is worse than a profligate. For a profligate is serious and reckless even in his shortest love; while a Free Lover is cautious and irresponsible even in his longest devotion. I hate modern doubt because it is dangerous.”

“You mean dangerous to morality,” he said in a voice of wonderful gentleness. “I expect you are right. But why do you care about morality?”

I glanced at his face quickly. He had thrust out his neck as he had a trick of doing; and so brought his face abruptly into the light of the bonfire from below, like a face in the footlights. His long chin and high cheek-bones were lit up infernally from underneath; so that he looked like a fiend staring down into the flaming pit. I had an unmeaning sense of being tempted in a wilderness; and even as I paused a burst of red sparks broke past.

“Aren’t those sparks splendid?” I said.

“Yes,” he replied.

“That is all that I ask you to admit,” said I. “Give me those few red specks and I will deduce Christian morality. Once I thought like you, that one’s pleasure in a flying spark was a thing that could come and go with that spark. Once I thought that the delight was as free as the fire. Once I thought that red star we see was alone in space. But now I know that the red star is only on the apex of an invisible pyramid of virtues. That red fire is only the flower on a stalk of living habits, which you cannot see. Only because your mother made you say ‘Thank you’ for a bun are you now able to thank Nature or chaos for those red stars of an instant or for the white stars of all time. Only because you were humble before fireworks on the fifth of November do you now enjoy any fireworks that you chance to see. You only like them being red because you were told about the blood of the martyrs; you only like them being bright because brightness is a glory. That flame flowered out of virtues, and it will fade with virtues. Seduce a woman, and that spark will be less bright. Shed blood, and that spark will be less red. Be really bad, and they will be to you like the spots on a wall-paper.”

He had a horrible fairness of the intellect that made me despair of his soul. A common, harmless atheist would have denied that religion produced humility or humility a simple joy: but he admitted both. He only said, “But shall I not find in evil a life of its own? Granted that for every woman I ruin one of those red sparks will go out: will not the expanding pleasure of ruin …”

“Do you see that fire?” I asked. “If we had a real fighting democracy, some one would burn you in it; like the devil-worshipper that you are.”

“Perhaps,” he said, in his tired, fair way. “Only what you call evil I call good.”

He went down the great steps alone, and I felt as if I wanted the steps swept and cleaned. I followed later, and as I went to find my hat in the low, dark passage where it hung, I suddenly heard his voice again, but the words were inaudible. I stopped, startled: then I heard the voice of one of the vilest of his associates saying, “Nobody can possibly know.” And then I heard those two or three words which I remember in every syllable and cannot forget. I heard the Diabolist say, “I tell you I have done everything else. If I do that I shan’t know the difference between right and wrong.” I rushed out without daring to pause; and as I passed the fire I did not know whether it was hell or the furious love of God.

I have since heard that he died: it may be said, I think, that he committed suicide; though he did it with tools of pleasure, not with tools of pain. God help him, I know the road he went; but I have never known, or even dared to think, what was that place at which he stopped and refrained.

XXXIV

Il Diabolista

Di tanto in tanto ho introdotto nei miei saggi un elemento di verità. Sono stati menzionati fatti realmente accaduti, come l’incontro col Presidente Kruger o l’essere stato buttato fuori da una carrozza. Ciò che ora devo raccontare è realmente accaduto; eppure non conteneva alcun elemento di politica pratica o di pericolo personale. Fu semplicemente una tranquilla conversazione che ebbi con un altro uomo. Ma quella tranquilla conversazione fu di gran lunga la cosa più terribile che mi sia mai accaduta in vita mia. Accadde tanto tempo fa che non posso essere certo delle parole esatte del dialogo, ma soltanto delle sue principali domande e risposte; c’è però una frase, in esso, di cui posso rispondere in modo assoluto e parola per parola. Era una frase così spaventosa che non potrei dimenticarla neppure volendo. Fu l’ultima frase pronunciata; e non fu pronunciata a me.

La cosa mi capitò nei giorni in cui frequentavo una scuola d’arte. Una scuola d’arte differisce da quasi tutte le altre scuole o collegi in questo: che, essendo di nuova e rozza creazione e di lassa disciplina, presenta un contrasto particolarmente forte tra gli industriosi e gli oziosi. Chi frequenta una scuola d’arte o svolge una quantità atroce di lavoro o non lavora affatto. Io appartenevo, insieme ad altre persone deliziose, a quest’ultima classe; e ciò mi gettava spesso nella società di uomini assai diversi da me, e che erano oziosi per ragioni assai diverse dalle mie. Io ero ozioso perché ero molto occupato; ero impegnato, in quel periodo, a scoprire, con mia estrema e duratura sorpresa, che non ero ateo. Ma c’erano anche altri sbandati impegnati a scoprire ciò che Carlyle chiamava (credo con inutile delicatezza) il fatto che lo zenzero è piccante in bocca.

Insomma, apprezzo quel periodo perché mi rese familiare un buon numero rappresentativo di canaglie. A questo proposito ci sono due cose assai curiose che il critico della vita umana può osservare. La prima è il fatto che c’è una vera differenza tra uomini e donne; che le donne preferiscono parlare a due a due, mentre gli uomini preferiscono parlare a tre a tre. La seconda è che quando trovi (come spesso accade) tre giovani mascalzoni e idioti che vanno in giro insieme e si ubriacano insieme ogni giorno, generalmente scopri che uno dei tre mascalzoni e idioti è (per qualche straordinaria ragione) non un mascalzone e non un idiota. In questi piccoli gruppi votati a una bavosa dissipazione c’è quasi sempre un uomo che sembra essersi degnato di scendere alla propria compagnia; un uomo che, pur sapendo scambiare una turpe banalità con i suoi compari, sa anche parlare di politica con un socialista, o di filosofia con un cattolico.

Fu proprio un uomo simile che venni a conoscere bene. Era strano, forse, che gli piacesse la sua sudicia e ubriaca società; era ancor più strano, forse, che gli piacesse la mia. Per ore del giorno discuteva con me di Milton o di architettura gotica; per ore della notte andava dove non ho alcun desiderio di seguirlo, nemmeno con l’immaginazione. Era un uomo dal volto lungo e ironico, e dai capelli fitti e rossi; era per classe un gentiluomo, e sapeva camminare come tale, ma preferiva, per qualche ragione, camminare come uno stalliere che porta due secchi. Aveva l’aria di una sorta di Super-fantino; come se qualche arcangelo si fosse dato all’ippica. E non dimenticherò mai la mezz’ora in cui lui e io discutemmo di cose reali per la prima e per l’ultima volta.

… . .

Lungo la facciata del grande edificio di cui la nostra scuola faceva parte correva un’enorme rampa di gradini di pietra, più alta, credo, di quella che sale alla Cattedrale di San Paolo. In una nera serata invernale lui e io vagavamo su quelle fredde altezze, che parevano tetre come una piramide sotto le stelle. L’unica cosa visibile sotto di noi nel buio era un fuoco ardente e sventolante; poiché qualche giardiniere (suppongo) stava bruciando qualcosa nel parco, e di tempo in tempo le rosse scintille passavano turbinando accanto a noi come uno sciame di insetti scarlatti nel buio. Anche sopra di noi era tenebra; ma se si fissava abbastanza a lungo quell’oscurità superiore, si vedevano strisce verticali di grigio nel nero e poi si diveniva consapevoli della colossale facciata dell’edificio dorico, fantasmatica, eppure riempiente il cielo, come se il Cielo fosse ancora colmo del gigantesco Fantasma del Paganesimo.

… . .

L’uomo mi chiese bruscamente perché stessi diventando ortodosso. Finché non lo disse, non avevo davvero saputo di esserlo; ma nel momento in cui lo disse seppi che era letteralmente vero. E il processo era stato tanto lungo e pieno che gli risposi subito, attingendo alle scorte di spiegazione già esistenti.

“Sto diventando ortodosso,” dissi, “perché sono giunto, a torto o a ragione, dopo aver teso il cervello fino a farlo scoppiare, all’antica convinzione che l’eresia sia peggiore perfino del peccato. Un errore è più minaccioso di un delitto, perché un errore genera delitti. Un imperialista è peggio di un pirata. Perché un imperialista tiene una scuola per pirati; insegna la pirateria disinteressatamente e senza uno stipendio adeguato. Un Libero Amatore è peggio di un dissoluto. Perché un dissoluto è serio e temerario perfino nel suo più breve amore; mentre un Libero Amatore è cauto e irresponsabile perfino nella sua più lunga devozione. Odio il dubbio moderno perché è pericoloso.”

“Vuoi dire pericoloso per la morale,” disse con voce di meravigliosa dolcezza. “Immagino che tu abbia ragione. Ma perché ti importa della morale?”

Gli lanciai una rapida occhiata al viso. Aveva sporto il collo, come aveva l’abitudine di fare; e così aveva portato bruscamente il viso nella luce del falò dal basso, come un volto alla ribalta. Il suo lungo mento e i suoi alti zigomi erano illuminati infernalmente da sotto; sicché pareva un demonio che fissa in giù dentro la fossa fiammeggiante. Ebbi un’insensata sensazione di essere tentato in un deserto; e proprio mentre indugiavo un getto di rosse scintille scoppiò accanto.

“Non sono splendide quelle scintille?” dissi.

“Sì,” rispose.

“È tutto ciò che ti chiedo di ammettere,” dissi. “Concedimi quei pochi punti rossi e da essi dedurrò la morale cristiana. Un tempo pensavo come te, che il piacere provato in una scintilla volante fosse cosa che poteva andare e venire con quella scintilla. Un tempo pensavo che quel diletto fosse libero come il fuoco. Un tempo pensavo che la stella rossa che vediamo fosse sola nello spazio. Ma ora so che la stella rossa è soltanto sull’apice di un’invisibile piramide di virtù. Quel fuoco rosso è soltanto il fiore su uno stelo di abitudini viventi, che tu non puoi vedere. Solo perché tua madre ti fece dire ‘Grazie’ per un dolcetto sei ora capace di ringraziare la Natura o il caos per quelle rosse stelle d’un istante o per le bianche stelle di tutto il tempo. Solo perché fosti umile davanti ai fuochi d’artificio del cinque di novembre puoi ora godere di ogni fuoco che ti càpiti di vedere. Ti piacciono rossi solo perché ti fu raccontato del sangue dei martiri; ti piacciono splendenti solo perché lo splendore è una gloria. Quella fiamma fiorì dalle virtù, e con le virtù svanirà. Seduci una donna, e quella scintilla sarà meno luminosa. Versa sangue, e quella scintilla sarà meno rossa. Sii davvero malvagio, e ti saranno come le macchie su una carta da parati.”

Aveva un’orribile equità dell’intelletto che mi faceva disperare della sua anima. Un comune, innocuo ateo avrebbe negato che la religione producesse l’umiltà o che l’umiltà producesse una gioia semplice: ma egli ammetteva entrambe le cose. Diceva soltanto: «Ma non troverò forse nel male una vita tutta sua? Ammesso che per ogni donna che rovino una di quelle rosse scintille si spegnerà: non varrà forse il crescente piacere della rovina…»

«Vedi quel fuoco?» chiesi. «Se avessimo una vera democrazia combattiva, qualcuno ti brucerebbe là dentro; come l’adoratore del diavolo che sei».

«Forse», disse, nel suo modo stanco ed equanime. «Solo che ciò che tu chiami male, io lo chiamo bene».

Discese i grandi gradini solo, e sentii come se volessi che i gradini fossero spazzati e ripuliti. Lo seguii più tardi, e mentre andavo a cercare il mio cappello nel basso, buio corridoio dove era appeso, udii d’improvviso la sua voce di nuovo, ma le parole erano inudibili. Mi fermai, trasalendo: poi udii la voce di uno dei più vili tra i suoi sodali dire, “Nessuno può mai saperlo.” E poi udii quelle due o tre parole che ricordo in ogni sillaba e non posso dimenticare. Udii il Diabolista dire: “Ti dico che ho fatto già tutto il resto. Se faccio quello, non conoscerò più la differenza tra il bene e il male.” Mi precipitai fuori senza osar fermarmi; e passando accanto al fuoco non sapevo se fosse l’inferno o il furioso amore di Dio.

Ho poi saputo che è morto: si può dire, credo, che si sia suicidato; benché lo abbia fatto con strumenti di piacere, non con strumenti di dolore. Dio lo aiuti, conosco la strada che percorse; ma non ho mai saputo, né osato pensare, quale fosse quel luogo al quale si fermò e si trattenne.

XXXV

A Glimpse of My Country

Whatever is it that we are all looking for? I fancy that it is really quite close. When I was a boy I had a fancy that Heaven or Fairyland or whatever I called it, was immediately behind my own back, and that this was why I could never manage to see it, however often I twisted and turned to take it by surprise. I had a notion of a man perpetually spinning round on one foot like a teetotum in the effort to find that world behind his back which continually fled from him. Perhaps this is why the world goes round. Perhaps the world is always trying to look over its shoulder and catch up the world which always escapes it, yet without which it cannot be itself.

In any case, as I have said, I think that we must always conceive of that which is the goal of all our endeavours as something which is in some strange way near. Science boasts of the distance of its stars; of the terrific remoteness of the things of which it has to speak. But poetry and religion always insist upon the proximity, the almost menacing closeness of the things with which they are concerned. Always the Kingdom of Heaven is “At Hand”; and Looking-glass Land is only through the looking-glass. So I for one should never be astonished if the next twist of a street led me to the heart of that maze in which all the mystics are lost. I should not be at all surprised if I turned one corner in Fleet Street and saw a yet queerer-looking lamp; I should not be surprised if I turned a third corner and found myself in Elfland.

I should not be surprised at this; but I was surprised the other day at something more surprising. I took a turn out of Fleet Street and found myself in England.

… . .

The singular shock experienced perhaps requires explanation. In the darkest or the most inadequate moments of England there is one thing that should always be remembered about the very nature of our country. It may be shortly stated by saying that England is not such a fool as it looks. The types of England, the externals of England, always misrepresent the country. England is an oligarchical country, and it prefers that its oligarchy should be inferior to itself.

The speaking in the House of Commons, for instance, is not only worse than the speaking was, it is worse than the speaking is, in all or almost all other places in small debating clubs or casual dinners. Our countrymen probably prefer this solemn futility in the higher places of the national life. It may be a strange sight to see the blind leading the blind; but England provides a stranger. England shows us the blind leading the people who can see. And this again is an under-statement of the case. For the English political aristocrats not only speak worse than many other people; they speak worse than themselves. The ignorance of statesmen is like the ignorance of judges, an artificial and affected thing. If you have the good fortune really to talk with a statesman, you will be constantly startled with his saying quite intelligent things. It makes one nervous at first. And I have never been sufficiently intimate with such a man to ask him why it was a rule of his life in Parliament to appear sillier than he was.

It is the same with the voters. The average man votes below himself; he votes with half a mind or with a hundredth part of one. A man ought to vote with the whole of himself as he worships or gets married. A man ought to vote with his head and heart, his soul and stomach, his eye for faces and his ear for music; also (when sufficiently provoked) with his hands and feet. If he has ever seen a fine sunset, the crimson colour of it should creep into his vote. If he has ever heard splendid songs, they should be in his ears when he makes the mystical cross. But as it is, the difficulty with English democracy at all elections is that it is something less than itself. The question is not so much whether only a minority of the electorate votes. The point is that only a minority of the voter votes.

… . .

This is the tragedy of England; you cannot judge it by its foremost men. Its types do not typify. And on the occasion of which I speak I found this to be so especially of that old intelligent middle class which I had imagined had almost vanished from the world. It seemed to me that all the main representatives of the middle class had gone off in one direction or in the other; they had either set out in pursuit of the Smart Set or they had set out in pursuit of the Simple Life. I cannot say which I dislike more myself; the people in question are welcome to have either of them, or, as is more likely, to have both, in hideous alternations of disease and cure. But all the prominent men who plainly represent the middle class have adopted either the single eye-glass of Mr Chamberlain or the single eye of Mr. Bernard Shaw.

The old class that I mean has no representative. Its food was plentiful; but it had no show. Its food was plain; but it had no fads. It was serious about politics; and when it spoke in public it committed the solecism of trying to speak well. I thought that this old earnest political England had practically disappeared. And as I say, I took one turn out of Fleet Street and I found a room full of it.

… . .

At the top of the room was a chair in which Johnson had sat. The club was a club in which Wilkes had spoken, in a time when even the ne’er-do-weel was virile. But all these things by themselves might be merely archaism. The extraordinary thing was that this hall had all the hubbub, the sincerity, the anger, the oratory of the eighteenth century. The members of this club were of all shades of opinion, yet there was not one speech which gave me that jar of unreality which I often have in listening to the ablest men uttering my own opinion. The Toryism of this club was like the Toryism of Johnson, a Toryism that could use humour and appealed to humanity. The democracy of this club was like the democracy of Wilkes, a democracy that can speak epigrams and fight duels; a democracy that can face things out and endure slander; the democracy of Wilkes, or, rather, the democracy of Fox.

One thing especially filled my soul with the soul of my fathers. Each man speaking, whether he spoke well or ill, spoke as well as he could from sheer fury against the other man. This is the greatest of our modern descents, that nowadays a man does not become more rhetorical as he becomes more sincere. An eighteenth-century speaker, when he got really and honestly furious, looked for big words with which to crush his adversary. The new speaker looks for small words to crush him with. He looks for little facts and little sneers. In a modern speech the rhetoric is put into the merely formal part, the opening to which nobody listens. But when Mr. Chamberlain, or a Moderate, or one of the harder kind of Socialists, becomes really sincere, he becomes Cockney. “The destiny of the Empire,” or “The destiny of humanity,” do well enough for mere ornamental preliminaries, but when the man becomes angry and honest, then it is a snarl, “Where do we come in?” or “It’s your money they want.”

The men in this eighteenth-century club were entirely different; they were quite eighteenth century. Each one rose to his feet quivering with passion, and tried to destroy his opponent, not with sniggering, but actually with eloquence. I was arguing with them about Home Rule; at the end I told them why the English aristocracy really disliked an Irish Parliament; because it would be like their club.

… . .

I came out again into Fleet Street at night, and by a dim lamp I saw pasted up some tawdry nonsense about Wastrels and how London was rising against something that London had hardly heard of. Then I suddenly saw, as in one obvious picture, that the modern world is an immense and tumultuous ocean, full of monstrous and living things. And I saw that across the top of it is spread a thin, a very thin, sheet of ice, of wicked wealth and of lying journalism.

And as I stood there in the darkness I could almost fancy that I heard it crack.

XXXV

Uno scorcio del mio paese

Qualunque sia la cosa che tutti andiamo cercando, immagino che sia in realtà assai vicina. Da ragazzo avevo la fantasia che il Cielo, o il Paese delle Fate, o comunque lo chiamassi, si trovasse immediatamente dietro le mie spalle, e che questa fosse la ragione per cui non riuscivo mai a vederlo, per quanto spesso mi girassi e rigirassi per coglierlo di sorpresa. Avevo l’idea di un uomo che gira perpetuamente su un piede solo come una trottola nello sforzo di trovare quel mondo dietro le sue spalle che di continuo gli sfuggiva. Forse è per questo che il mondo gira. Forse il mondo cerca sempre di guardarsi al di sopra della spalla e di raggiungere il mondo che sempre gli sfugge, e senza il quale tuttavia non può essere sé stesso.

In ogni caso, come ho detto, penso che dobbiamo sempre concepire ciò che è la meta di tutti i nostri sforzi come qualcosa che è, in qualche strano modo, vicino. La scienza si vanta della distanza delle sue stelle; della terrificante lontananza delle cose di cui deve parlare. Ma la poesia e la religione insistono sempre sulla prossimità, sulla vicinanza quasi minacciosa delle cose di cui si occupano. Sempre il Regno dei Cieli è «Vicino»; e il Paese dello Specchio è soltanto al di là dello specchio. Sicché io, per parte mia, non dovrei mai stupirmi se la svolta successiva di una strada mi conducesse al cuore di quel labirinto in cui tutti i mistici si smarriscono. Non dovrei affatto sorprendermi se, svoltando un angolo in Fleet Street, vedessi un lampione dall’aspetto ancora più bizzarro; non dovrei sorprendermi se, svoltato un terzo angolo, mi trovassi nel Paese degli Elfi.

Di questo non dovrei sorprendermi; ma l’altro giorno mi sorpresi di qualcosa di più sorprendente. Feci una deviazione uscendo da Fleet Street e mi trovai in Inghilterra.

… . .

Lo strano turbamento provato richiede forse una spiegazione. Nei momenti più bui o più inadeguati dell’Inghilterra c’è una cosa che si dovrebbe sempre ricordare a proposito della natura stessa del nostro paese. La si può enunciare in breve dicendo che l’Inghilterra non è tanto sciocca quanto sembra. I tipi dell’Inghilterra, gli aspetti esteriori dell’Inghilterra, travisano sempre il paese. L’Inghilterra è un paese oligarchico, e preferisce che la sua oligarchia sia inferiore a sé stessa.

Il modo di parlare alla Camera dei Comuni, per esempio, non solo è peggiore di quanto fosse, è peggiore di quanto sia in tutti, o quasi tutti, gli altri luoghi, nei piccoli circoli di dibattito o nelle cene occasionali. I nostri connazionali probabilmente preferiscono questa solenne futilità nei luoghi più alti della vita nazionale. Può essere uno strano spettacolo vedere il cieco che guida il cieco; ma l’Inghilterra ne offre uno più strano. L’Inghilterra ci mostra il cieco che guida coloro che ci vedono. E anche questa è un’attenuazione del caso. Poiché gli aristocratici politici inglesi non solo parlano peggio di molte altre persone; parlano peggio di sé stessi. L’ignoranza degli uomini di Stato è come l’ignoranza dei giudici, una cosa artificiale e affettata. Se avete la buona ventura di parlare davvero con un uomo di Stato, sarete continuamente sorpresi nel sentirgli dire cose del tutto intelligenti. Sulle prime rende nervosi. E non sono mai stato abbastanza intimo con un uomo simile da chiedergli perché fosse una regola della sua vita, in Parlamento, apparire più sciocco di quanto fosse.

Lo stesso vale per gli elettori. L’uomo medio vota al di sotto di sé stesso; vota con metà della mente o con la centesima parte di essa. Un uomo dovrebbe votare con tutto sé stesso, come quando prega o si sposa. Un uomo dovrebbe votare con la testa e col cuore, con la anima e con lo stomaco, con l’occhio per i volti e l’orecchio per la musica; e anche (quando sufficientemente provocato) con le mani e i piedi. Se ha mai veduto un bel tramonto, il suo colore cremisi dovrebbe insinuarsi nel suo voto. Se ha mai udito splendidi canti, essi dovrebbero risuonargli negli orecchi quando traccia la mistica croce. Ma così com’è, la difficoltà della democrazia inglese in tutte le elezioni è che essa è qualcosa di meno di sé stessa. La questione non è tanto se soltanto una minoranza dell’elettorato voti. Il punto è che soltanto una minoranza dell’elettore vota.

… . .

Questa è la tragedia dell’Inghilterra: non la si può giudicare dai suoi uomini più eminenti. I suoi tipi non tipizzano. E nell’occasione di cui parlo trovai che ciò era vero specialmente di quella vecchia e intelligente classe media che avevo immaginato fosse quasi svanita dal mondo. Mi pareva che tutti i principali rappresentanti della classe media se ne fossero andati in una direzione o nell’altra; o si erano messi all’inseguimento dello Smart Set o si erano messi all’inseguimento della Vita Semplice. Non saprei dire quale delle due io detesti di più; le persone in questione sono libere di avere l’una o l’altra, o, come è più probabile, di averle entrambe, in orribili alternanze di malattia e di cura. Ma tutti gli uomini di spicco che palesemente rappresentano la classe media hanno adottato o il monocolo del signor Chamberlain o l’occhio unico del signor Bernard Shaw.

La vecchia classe cui mi riferisco non ha rappresentante. Il suo cibo era abbondante; ma non aveva ostentazione. Il suo cibo era semplice; ma non aveva manie. Era seria in fatto di politica; e quando parlava in pubblico commetteva il solecismo di cercare di parlar bene. Pensavo che questa vecchia e seria Inghilterra politica fosse praticamente scomparsa. E, come dico, feci una deviazione uscendo da Fleet Street e trovai una stanza che ne era piena.

… . .

In cima alla stanza c’era una sedia su cui aveva seduto Johnson. Il circolo era un circolo in cui aveva parlato Wilkes, in un tempo in cui perfino il buono a nulla era virile. Ma tutte queste cose di per sé potrebbero essere mero arcaismo. La cosa straordinaria era che quella sala aveva tutto il tumulto, la sincerità, l’ira, l’oratoria del Settecento. I membri di quel circolo erano di tutte le sfumature d’opinione, eppure non ci fu un solo discorso che mi desse quello stridore di irrealtà che spesso provo nell’ascoltare gli uomini più abili esprimere la mia stessa opinione. Il torismo di quel circolo era come il torismo di Johnson, un torismo che sapeva usare l’umorismo e si appellava all’umanità. La democrazia di quel circolo era come la democrazia di Wilkes, una democrazia che sa dire epigrammi e battersi in duello; una democrazia che sa affrontare le cose apertamente e sopportare la calunnia; la democrazia di Wilkes, o, piuttosto, la democrazia di Fox.

Una cosa specialmente colmò la mia anima con l’anima dei miei padri. Ogni uomo che parlava, sia che parlasse bene o male, parlava bene quanto poteva per pura furia contro l’altro. Questa è la più grande delle nostre moderne decadenze: che oggigiorno un uomo non diventa più retorico man mano che diventa più sincero. Un oratore del Settecento, quando si adirava davvero e onestamente, cercava paroloni con cui schiacciare l’avversario. Il nuovo oratore cerca paroline con cui schiacciarlo. Cerca piccoli fatti e piccoli sogghigni. In un discorso moderno la retorica è collocata nella parte meramente formale, l’esordio che nessuno ascolta. Ma quando il signor Chamberlain, o un Moderato, o uno dei socialisti di tempra più dura, diventa davvero sincero, diventa Cockney. «Il destino dell’Impero», o «Il destino dell’umanità», vanno bene abbastanza come meri preliminari ornamentali, ma quando l’uomo si fa adirato e onesto, allora è un ringhio: «E noi che ci guadagniamo?» oppure «È il vostro denaro che vogliono».

Gli uomini di quel circolo settecentesco erano del tutto diversi; erano proprio del Settecento. Ciascuno si alzava in piedi fremente di passione, e cercava di distruggere il proprio avversario non con lo sghignazzo, ma davvero con l’eloquenza. Discutevo con loro dell’Home Rule; alla fine dissi loro perché l’aristocrazia inglese in realtà detestasse un Parlamento irlandese: perché sarebbe stato come il loro circolo.

… . .

Uscii di nuovo in Fleet Street nella notte, e alla luce di un fioco lampione vidi affisse certe scipite sciocchezze sui Fannulloni e su come Londra insorgesse contro qualcosa di cui Londra aveva a malapena sentito parlare. Poi d’un tratto vidi, come in un’unica evidente immagine, che il mondo moderno è un oceano immenso e tumultuoso, pieno di cose mostruose e vive. E vidi che sulla sua superficie è distesa una sottile, una sottilissima lastra di ghiaccio, di malvagia ricchezza e di menzognero giornalismo.

E mentre me ne stavo lì nell’oscurità, quasi potei immaginare di udirla incrinarsi.

XXXVI

A Somewhat Improbable Story

I cannot remember whether this tale is true or not. If I read it through very carefully I have a suspicion that I should come to the conclusion that it is not. But, unfortunately, I cannot read it through very carefully, because, you see, it is not written yet. The image and the idea of it clung to me through a great part of my boyhood; I may have dreamt it before I could talk; or told it to myself before I could read; or read it before I could remember. On the whole, however, I am certain that I did not read it, for children have very clear memories about things like that; and of the books which I was really fond I can still remember, not only the shape and bulk and binding, but even the position of the printed words on many of the pages. On the whole, I incline to the opinion that it happened to me before I was born.

… . .

At any rate, let us tell the story now with all the advantages of the atmosphere that has clung to it. You may suppose me, for the sake of argument, sitting at lunch in one of those quick-lunch restaurants in the City where men take their food so fast that it has none of the quality of food, and take their half-hour’s vacation so fast that it has none of the qualities of leisure; to hurry through one’s leisure is the most unbusiness-like of actions. They all wore tall shiny hats as if they could not lose an instant even to hang them on a peg, and they all had one eye a little off, hypnotised by the huge eye of the clock. In short, they were the slaves of the modern bondage, you could hear their fetters clanking. Each was, in fact, bound by a chain; the heaviest chain ever tied to a man—it is called a watch-chain.

Now, among these there entered and sat down opposite to me a man who almost immediately opened an uninterrupted monologue. He was like all the other men in dress, yet he was startlingly opposite to them in all manner. He wore a high shiny hat and a long frock coat, but he wore them as such solemn things were meant to be worn; he wore the silk hat as if it were a mitre, and the frock coat as if it were the ephod of a high priest. He not only hung his hat up on the peg, but he seemed (such was his stateliness) almost to ask permission of the hat for doing so, and to apologise to the peg for making use of it. When he had sat down on a wooden chair with the air of one considering its feelings and given a sort of slight stoop or bow to the wooden table itself, as if it were an altar, I could not help some comment springing to my lips. For the man was a big, sanguine-faced, prosperous-looking man, and yet he treated everything with a care that almost amounted to nervousness.

For the sake of saying something to express my interest I said, “This furniture is fairly solid; but, of course, people do treat it much too carelessly.”

As I looked up doubtfully my eye caught his, and was fixed as his was fixed in an apocalyptic stare. I had thought him ordinary as he entered, save for his strange, cautious manner; but if the other people had seen him then they would have screamed and emptied the room. They did not see him, and they went on making a clatter with their forks, and a murmur with their conversation. But the man’s face was the face of a maniac.

“Did you mean anything particular by that remark?” he asked at last, and the blood crawled back slowly into his face.

“Nothing whatever,” I answered. “One does not mean anything here; it spoils people’s digestions.”

He limped back and wiped his broad forehead with a big handkerchief; and yet there seemed to be a sort of regret in his relief.

“I thought perhaps,” he said in a low voice, “that another of them had gone wrong.”

“If you mean another digestion gone wrong,” I said, “I never heard of one here that went right. This is the heart of the Empire, and the other organs are in an equally bad way.”

“No, I mean another street gone wrong,” and he said heavily and quietly, “but as I suppose that doesn’t explain much to you, I think I shall have to tell you the story. I do so with all the less responsibility, because I know you won’t believe it. For forty years of my life I invariably left my office, which is in Leadenhall Street, at half-past five in the afternoon, taking with me an umbrella in the right hand and a bag in the left hand. For forty years two months and four days I passed out of the side office door, walked down the street on the left-hand side, took the first turning to the left and the third to the right, from where I bought an evening paper, followed the road on the right-hand side round two obtuse angles, and came out just outside a Metropolitan station, where I took a train home. For forty years two months and four days I fulfilled this course by accumulated habit: it was not a long street that I traversed, and it took me about four and a half minutes to do it. After forty years two months and four days, on the fifth day I went out in the same manner, with my umbrella in the right hand and my bag in the left, and I began to notice that walking along the familiar street tired me somewhat more than usual; and when I turned it I was convinced that I had turned down the wrong one. For now the street shot up quite a steep slant, such as one only sees in the hilly parts of London, and in this part there were no hills at all. Yet it was not the wrong street; the name written on it was the same; the shuttered shops were the same; the lamp-posts and the whole look of the perspective was the same; only it was tilted upwards like a lid. Forgetting any trouble about breathlessness or fatigue I ran furiously forward, and reached the second of my accustomed turnings, which ought to bring me almost within sight of the station. And as I turned that corner I nearly fell on the pavement. For now the street went up straight in front of my face like a steep staircase or the side of a pyramid. There was not for miles round that place so much as a slope like that of Ludgate Hill. And this was a slope like that of the Matterhorn. The whole street had lifted itself like a single wave, and yet every speck and detail of it was the same, and I saw in the high distance, as at the top of an Alpine pass, picked out in pink letters the name over my paper shop.

“I ran on and on blindly now, passing all the shops and coming to a part of the road where there was a long grey row of private houses. I had, I know not why, an irrational feeling that I was a long iron bridge in empty space. An impulse seized me, and I pulled up the iron trap of a coal-hole. Looking down through it I saw empty space and the stairs.

“When I looked up again a man was standing in his front garden, having apparently come out of his house; he was leaning over the railings and gazing at me. We were all alone on that nightmare road; his face was in shadow; his dress was dark and ordinary; but when I saw him standing so perfectly still I knew somehow that he was not of this world. And the stars behind his head were larger and fiercer than ought to be endured by the eyes of men.

“‘If you are a kind angel,’ I said, ‘or a wise devil, or have anything in common with mankind, tell me what is this street possessed of devils.’

“After a long silence he said, ‘What do you say that it is?’

“‘It is Bumpton Street, of course,’ I snapped. ‘It goes to Oldgate Station.’

“‘Yes,’ he admitted gravely; ‘it goes there sometimes. Just now, however, it is going to heaven.’

“‘To heaven?’ I said. ‘Why?’

“‘It is going to heaven for justice,’ he replied. ‘You must have treated it badly. Remember always that there is one thing that cannot be endured by anybody or anything. That one unendurable thing is to be overworked and also neglected. For instance, you can overwork women—everybody does. But you can’t neglect women—I defy you to. At the same time, you can neglect tramps and gypsies and all the apparent refuse of the State so long as you do not overwork it. But no beast of the field, no horse, no dog can endure long to be asked to do more than his work and yet have less than his honour. It is the same with streets. You have worked this street to death, and yet you have never remembered its existence. If you had a healthy democracy, even of pagans, they would have hung this street with garlands and given it the name of a god. Then it would have gone quietly. But at last the street has grown tired of your tireless insolence; and it is bucking and rearing its head to heaven. Have you never sat on a bucking horse?’

“I looked at the long grey street, and for a moment it seemed to me to be exactly like the long grey neck of a horse flung up to heaven. But in a moment my sanity returned, and I said, ‘But this is all nonsense. Streets go to the place they have to go. A street must always go to its end.’

“‘Why do you think so of a street?’ he asked, standing very still.

“‘Because I have always seen it do the same thing,’ I replied, in reasonable anger. ‘Day after day, year after year, it has always gone to Oldgate Station; day after …’

“I stopped, for he had flung up his head with the fury of the road in revolt.

“‘And you?’ he cried terribly. ‘What do you think the road thinks of you? Does the road think you are alive? Are you alive? Day after day, year after year, you have gone to Oldgate Station… .’ Since then I have respected the things called inanimate.”

And bowing slightly to the mustard-pot, the man in the restaurant withdrew.

XXXVI

Una Storia Alquanto Improbabile

Non riesco a ricordare se questo racconto sia vero o no. Se lo leggessi con molta attenzione, ho il sospetto che giungerei alla conclusione che non lo è. Ma, sfortunatamente, non posso leggerlo con molta attenzione, perché, vedete, non è ancora stato scritto. L’immagine e l’idea di esso mi accompagnarono per gran parte della mia fanciullezza; forse lo sognai prima di saper parlare; o lo raccontai a me stesso prima di saper leggere; o lo lessi prima di poter ricordare. Nel complesso, tuttavia, sono certo di non averlo letto, perché i bambini hanno ricordi assai nitidi di cose simili; e dei libri di cui ero davvero appassionato posso ancora ricordare non solo la forma, la mole e la rilegatura, ma perfino la posizione delle parole stampate su molte delle pagine. Nel complesso, propendo per l’opinione che mi accadde prima ancora che nascessi.

… . .

In ogni caso, raccontiamo ora la storia con tutti i vantaggi dell’atmosfera che le è rimasta attaccata. Potete immaginarmi, per amor di discussione, seduto a pranzo in uno di quei ristoranti da pasto veloce nella City dove gli uomini consumano il cibo così in fretta che esso non ha nessuna delle qualità del cibo, e si prendono la mezz’ora di pausa così in fretta che essa non ha nessuna delle qualità dell’ozio; affrettarsi attraverso il proprio ozio è la più anti-affaristica delle azioni. Portavano tutti alti cappelli lucidi come se non potessero perdere un istante nemmeno per appenderli a un attaccapanni, e avevano tutti un occhio un po’ storto, ipnotizzati dall’enorme occhio dell’orologio. In breve, erano gli schiavi della schiavitù moderna, si potevano udire i loro ceppi tintinnare. Ciascuno era, di fatto, legato da una catena; la più pesante catena mai legata a un uomo: si chiama catena dell’orologio.

Ora, tra questi entrò e si sedette di fronte a me un uomo che quasi immediatamente diede inizio a un ininterrotto monologo. Era simile a tutti gli altri uomini nel vestire, eppure era sorprendentemente opposto a loro in ogni modo di fare. Portava un alto cappello lucido e una lunga finanziera, ma li portava come tali cose solenni erano destinate a esser portate; portava il cappello di seta come se fosse una mitra, e la finanziera come se fosse l’efod di un sommo sacerdote. Non solo appese il cappello all’attaccapanni, ma sembrava (tale era la sua maestà) quasi chiedere il permesso al cappello per farlo, e scusarsi con l’attaccapanni per servirsene. Quando si fu seduto su una sedia di legno con l’aria di chi ne considera i sentimenti e ebbe rivolto una sorta di lieve inchino o riverenza al tavolo di legno stesso, come se fosse un altare, non potei impedire a qualche commento di affiorarmi alle labbra. Poiché l’uomo era un uomo grande, dal volto sanguigno e dall’aria prospera, eppure trattava ogni cosa con una cura che rasentava quasi la nervosità.

Per dire qualcosa che esprimesse il mio interesse dissi: “Questo mobilio è piuttosto solido; ma, certo, la gente lo tratta con troppa noncuranza.”

Mentre alzavo lo sguardo dubbioso il mio occhio incrociò il suo, e vi rimase fisso come il suo era fisso in uno sguardo apocalittico. Lo avevo creduto ordinario quando era entrato, salvo per il suo strano, cauto contegno; ma se le altre persone lo avessero visto allora avrebbero gridato e svuotato la sala. Non lo videro, e continuarono a fare un tramestio con le forchette, e un mormorio con la loro conversazione. Ma il volto dell’uomo era il volto di un maniaco.

«Intendevate qualcosa in particolare con quell’osservazione?» chiese infine, e il sangue rifluì lentamente nel suo volto.

«Nulla di nulla,» risposi. «Qui non si intende nulla; rovina la digestione alla gente.»

Si ritrasse zoppicando e si asciugò l’ampia fronte con un gran fazzoletto; eppure pareva esserci una sorta di rammarico nel suo sollievo.

«Pensavo forse,» disse a bassa voce, «che un’altra di loro fosse impazzita.»

“Se intende un’altra digestione andata storta,” dissi, “non ne ho mai sentita una, qui, che sia andata per il verso giusto. Questo è il cuore dell’Impero, e gli altri organi sono messi altrettanto male.”

«No, intendo un’altra strada impazzita,» disse pesantemente e sommessamente, «ma poiché suppongo che ciò non vi spieghi granché, penso che dovrò raccontarvi la storia. Lo faccio con tanta minore responsabilità, perché so che non ci crederete. Per quarant’anni della mia vita lasciai invariabilmente il mio ufficio, che si trova in Leadenhall Street, alle cinque e mezza del pomeriggio, portando con me un ombrello nella mano destra e una borsa nella mano sinistra. Per quarant’anni due mesi e quattro giorni uscii dalla porta laterale dell’ufficio, camminai lungo la strada sul lato sinistro, presi la prima svolta a sinistra e la terza a destra, da dove compravo un giornale della sera, seguii la strada sul lato destro attorno a due angoli ottusi, e sbucai proprio fuori da una stazione della Metropolitana, dove prendevo un treno per casa. Per quarant’anni due mesi e quattro giorni compii questo percorso per abitudine accumulata: non era una strada lunga quella che percorrevo, e mi ci volevano circa quattro minuti e mezzo per farla. Dopo quarant’anni due mesi e quattro giorni, il quinto giorno uscii nello stesso modo, con l’ombrello nella mano destra e la borsa nella sinistra, e cominciai a notare che camminare lungo la strada familiare mi stancava alquanto più del solito; e quando la svoltai fui convinto di aver imboccato quella sbagliata. Poiché ora la strada s’impennava in una salita piuttosto ripida, come se ne vedono solo nelle parti collinose di Londra, e in quella zona non c’erano affatto colline. Eppure non era la strada sbagliata; il nome scritto su di essa era lo stesso; le botteghe con le imposte chiuse erano le stesse; i lampioni e tutto l’aspetto della prospettiva erano gli stessi; solo che era inclinata verso l’alto come un coperchio. Dimenticando ogni disturbo di affanno o stanchezza corsi furiosamente in avanti, e raggiunsi la seconda delle mie consuete svolte, che avrebbe dovuto portarmi quasi in vista della stazione. E mentre svoltavo quell’angolo per poco non caddi sul marciapiede. Poiché ora la strada saliva dritta davanti al mio volto come una ripida scalinata o il fianco di una piramide. Non c’era per miglia intorno a quel luogo neppure una pendenza simile a quella di Ludgate Hill. E questa era una pendenza come quella del Cervino. L’intera strada si era sollevata come un’unica onda, eppure ogni granello e dettaglio di essa era lo stesso, e vidi in alto in lontananza, come alla sommità di un passo alpino, spiccare in lettere rosa il nome sopra la mia edicola.

«Corsi avanti e avanti ormai alla cieca, oltrepassando tutte le botteghe e giungendo a un tratto della strada dove c’era una lunga fila grigia di case private. Avevo, non so perché, l’irrazionale sensazione di essere un lungo ponte di ferro nello spazio vuoto. Un impulso mi afferrò, e sollevai la botola di ferro di una carbonaia. Guardando in basso attraverso di essa vidi spazio vuoto e le scale.

«Quando alzai di nuovo lo sguardo, un uomo se ne stava nel suo giardino antistante, essendo a quanto pareva uscito dalla sua casa; era appoggiato alla ringhiera e mi fissava. Eravamo tutti soli su quella strada da incubo; il suo volto era nell’ombra; il suo abito era scuro e comune; ma quando lo vidi star fermo così perfettamente, seppi in qualche modo che egli non era di questo mondo. E le stelle dietro il suo capo erano più grandi e più fiere di quanto possano sopportare gli occhi degli uomini.

«“Se sei un angelo benigno,” dissi, “o un demonio saggio, o hai qualcosa in comune con il genere umano, dimmi cos’è questa strada posseduta dai demoni.”

«Dopo un lungo silenzio disse: “Che cosa dici che sia?”

«“È Bumpton Street, naturalmente,” ribattei di scatto. “Porta alla Oldgate Station.”

«“Sì,” ammise gravemente; “va lì a volte. Proprio ora, però, sta andando in cielo.”

«“In cielo?” dissi. “Perché?”

«“Sta andando in cielo per ottenere giustizia,” rispose. “Devi averla trattata male. Ricorda sempre che c’è una cosa che non può essere sopportata da nessuno né da nulla. Quell’unica cosa insopportabile è essere sovraccaricati di lavoro e insieme trascurati. Per esempio, puoi sovraccaricare di lavoro le donne: lo fanno tutti. Ma non puoi trascurare le donne: ti sfido a farlo. Allo stesso tempo, puoi trascurare vagabondi e zingari e tutto l’apparente rifiuto dello Stato purché non lo sovraccarichi di lavoro. Ma nessuna bestia dei campi, nessun cavallo, nessun cane può sopportare a lungo che gli si chieda di fare più del suo lavoro e nondimeno abbia meno del suo onore. Lo stesso vale per le strade. Hai lavorato questa strada fino alla morte, eppure non hai mai ricordato la sua esistenza. Se avessi una sana democrazia, anche solo di pagani, avrebbero addobbato questa strada di ghirlande e le avrebbero dato il nome di un dio. Allora se ne sarebbe andata tranquilla. Ma alla fine la strada si è stancata della tua instancabile insolenza; e s’impenna e leva il capo verso il cielo. Non hai mai cavalcato un cavallo che s’impenna?”

«Guardai la lunga strada grigia, e per un istante mi parve esattamente come il lungo collo grigio di un cavallo proteso verso il cielo. Ma in un attimo la mia ragione tornò, e dissi: “Ma questa è tutta una sciocchezza. Le strade vanno nel luogo in cui devono andare. Una strada deve sempre andare alla sua fine.”

«“Perché lo pensi di una strada?” chiese, stando immobilissimo.

«“Perché l’ho sempre vista fare la stessa cosa,” risposi, con ragionevole ira. “Giorno dopo giorno, anno dopo anno, è sempre andata alla stazione di Oldgate; giorno dopo…”

«Mi fermai, perché egli aveva levato il capo con la furia della strada in rivolta.

«“E tu?” gridò terribilmente. “Che cosa pensi che la strada pensi di te? La strada pensa che tu sia vivo? Sei vivo? Giorno dopo giorno, anno dopo anno, sei andato alla stazione di Oldgate…” Da allora ho rispettato le cose chiamate inanimate.»

E inchinandosi leggermente al vasetto della senape, l’uomo nel ristorante si ritirò.

XXXVII

The Shop Of Ghosts

Nearly all the best and most precious things in the universe you can get for a halfpenny. I make an exception, of course, of the sun, the moon, the earth, people, stars, thunderstorms, and such trifles. You can get them for nothing. Also I make an exception of another thing, which I am not allowed to mention in this paper, and of which the lowest price is a penny halfpenny. But the general principle will be at once apparent. In the street behind me, for instance, you can now get a ride on an electric tram for a halfpenny. To be on an electric tram is to be on a flying castle in a fairy tale. You can get quite a large number of brightly coloured sweets for a halfpenny. Also you can get the chance of reading this article for a halfpenny; along, of course, with other and irrelevant matter.

But if you want to see what a vast and bewildering array of valuable things you can get at a halfpenny each you should do as I was doing last night. I was gluing my nose against the glass of a very small and dimly lit toy shop in one of the greyest and leanest of the streets of Battersea. But dim as was that square of light, it was filled (as a child once said to me) with all the colours God ever made. Those toys of the poor were like the children who buy them; they were all dirty; but they were all bright. For my part, I think brightness more important than cleanliness; since the first is of the soul, and the second of the body. You must excuse me; I am a democrat; I know I am out of fashion in the modern world.

… . .

As I looked at that palace of pigmy wonders, at small green omnibuses, at small blue elephants, at small black dolls, and small red Noah’s arks, I must have fallen into some sort of unnatural trance. That lit shop-window became like the brilliantly lit stage when one is watching some highly coloured comedy. I forgot the grey houses and the grimy people behind me as one forgets the dark galleries and the dim crowds at a theatre. It seemed as if the little objects behind the glass were small, not because they were toys, but because they were objects far away. The green omnibus was really a green omnibus, a green Bayswater omnibus, passing across some huge desert on its ordinary way to Bayswater. The blue elephant was no longer blue with paint; he was blue with distance. The black doll was really a negro relieved against passionate tropic foliage in the land where every weed is flaming and only man is black. The red Noah’s ark was really the enormous ship of earthly salvation riding on the rain-swollen sea, red in the first morning of hope.

Every one, I suppose, knows such stunning instants of abstraction, such brilliant blanks in the mind. In such moments one can see the face of one’s own best friend as an unmeaning pattern of spectacles or moustaches. They are commonly marked by the two signs of the slowness of their growth and the suddenness of their termination. The return to real thinking is often as abrupt as bumping into a man. Very often indeed (in my case) it is bumping into a man. But in any case the awakening is always emphatic and, generally speaking, it is always complete. Now, in this case, I did come back with a shock of sanity to the consciousness that I was, after all, only staring into a dingy little toy-shop; but in some strange way the mental cure did not seem to be final. There was still in my mind an unmanageable something that told me that I had strayed into some odd atmosphere, or that I had already done some odd thing. I felt as if I had worked a miracle or committed a sin. It was as if I had at any rate, stepped across some border in the soul.

To shake off this dangerous and dreamy sense I went into the shop and tried to buy wooden soldiers. The man in the shop was very old and broken, with confused white hair covering his head and half his face, hair so startlingly white that it looked almost artificial. Yet though he was senile and even sick, there was nothing of suffering in his eyes; he looked rather as if he were gradually falling asleep in a not unkindly decay. He gave me the wooden soldiers, but when I put down the money he did not at first seem to see it; then he blinked at it feebly, and then he pushed it feebly away.

“No, no,” he said vaguely. “I never have. I never have. We are rather old-fashioned here.”

“Not taking money,” I replied, “seems to me more like an uncommonly new fashion than an old one.”

“I never have,” said the old man, blinking and blowing his nose; “I’ve always given presents. I’m too old to stop.”

“Good heavens!” I said. “What can you mean? Why, you might be Father Christmas.”

“I am Father Christmas,” he said apologetically, and blew his nose again.

The lamps could not have been lighted yet in the street outside. At any rate, I could see nothing against the darkness but the shining shop-window. There were no sounds of steps or voices in the street; I might have strayed into some new and sunless world. But something had cut the chords of common sense, and I could not feel even surprise except sleepily. Something made me say, “You look ill, Father Christmas.”

“I am dying,” he said.

I did not speak, and it was he who spoke again.

“All the new people have left my shop. I cannot understand it. They seem to object to me on such curious and inconsistent sort of grounds, these scientific men, and these innovators. They say that I give people superstitions and make them too visionary; they say I give people sausages and make them too coarse. They say my heavenly parts are too heavenly; they say my earthly parts are too earthly; I don’t know what they want, I’m sure. How can heavenly things be too heavenly, or earthly things too earthly? How can one be too good, or too jolly? I don’t understand. But I understand one thing well enough. These modern people are living and I am dead.”

“You may be dead,” I replied. “You ought to know. But as for what they are doing, do not call it living.”

… . .

A silence fell suddenly between us which I somehow expected to be unbroken. But it had not fallen for more than a few seconds when, in the utter stillness, I distinctly heard a very rapid step coming nearer and nearer along the street. The next moment a figure flung itself into the shop and stood framed in the doorway. He wore a large white hat tilted back as if in impatience; he had tight black old-fashioned pantaloons, a gaudy old-fashioned stock and waistcoat, and an old fantastic coat. He had large, wide-open, luminous eyes like those of an arresting actor; he had a pale, nervous face, and a fringe of beard. He took in the shop and the old man in a look that seemed literally a flash and uttered the exclamation of a man utterly staggered.

“Good lord!” he cried out; “it can’t be you! It isn’t you! I came to ask where your grave was.”

“I’m not dead yet, Mr. Dickens,” said the old gentleman, with a feeble smile; “but I’m dying,” he hastened to add reassuringly.

“But, dash it all, you were dying in my time,” said Mr. Charles Dickens with animation; “and you don’t look a day older.”

“I’ve felt like this for a long time,” said Father Christmas.

Mr. Dickens turned his back and put his head out of the door into the darkness.

“Dick,” he roared at the top of his voice; “he’s still alive.”

… . .

Another shadow darkened the doorway, and a much larger and more full-blooded gentleman in an enormous periwig came in, fanning his flushed face with a military hat of the cut of Queen Anne. He carried his head well back like a soldier, and his hot face had even a look of arrogance, which was suddenly contradicted by his eyes, which were literally as humble as a dog’s. His sword made a great clatter, as if the shop were too small for it.

“Indeed,” said Sir Richard Steele, “‘tis a most prodigious matter, for the man was dying when I wrote about Sir Roger de Coverley and his Christmas Day.”

My senses were growing dimmer and the room darker. It seemed to be filled with newcomers.

“It hath ever been understood,” said a burly man, who carried his head humorously and obstinately a little on one side—I think he was Ben Jonson—“It hath ever been understood, consule Jacobo, under our King James and her late Majesty, that such good and hearty customs were fallen sick, and like to pass from the world. This grey beard most surely was no lustier when I knew him than now.”

And I also thought I heard a green-clad man, like Robin Hood, say in some mixed Norman French, “But I saw the man dying.”

“I have felt like this a long time,” said Father Christmas, in his feeble way again.

Mr. Charles Dickens suddenly leant across to him.

“Since when?” he asked. “Since you were born?”

“Yes,” said the old man, and sank shaking into a chair. “I have been always dying.”

Mr. Dickens took off his hat with a flourish like a man calling a mob to rise.

“I understand it now,” he cried, “you will never die.”

XXXVII

Il negozio di fantasmi

Quasi tutte le cose migliori e più preziose dell’universo si possono avere per mezzo penny. Faccio un’eccezione, naturalmente, per il sole, la luna, la terra, gli uomini, le stelle, i temporali e simili bagattelle. Si possono ottenere gratis. Faccio anche un’altra eccezione per una cosa che non mi è permesso menzionare in questo articolo e il cui prezzo minimo è di un penny mezzo. Ma il principio generale appare subito evidente. Nella strada dietro di me, ad esempio, si può fare un giro su un tram elettrico per mezzo penny. Essere su un tram elettrico equivale a essere su un castello volante in una fiaba. Si possono ottenere parecchie caramelle colorate per mezzo penny. Si può anche avere la possibilità di leggere questo articolo per mezzo penny; insieme, naturalmente, ad altre cose irrilevanti.

Ma se volete vedere quale vasta e sconcertante varietà di cose preziose si possono ottenere per un mezzo penny l’una, dovreste fare come facevo io la scorsa notte. Stavo incollando il naso contro il vetro di un negozio di giocattoli molto piccolo e debolmente illuminato in una delle strade più grigie e squallide di Battersea. Ma fioco come era quel quadrato di luce, era pieno (come mi disse una bambina) di tutti i colori che Dio abbia mai creato. Quei giocattoli dei poveri erano come i bambini che li compravano; erano tutti sporchi, ma erano tutti luminosi. Per quanto mi riguarda, ritengo la luminosità più importante della pulizia; poiché la prima è dell’anima, e la seconda del corpo. Dovete scusarmi; sono un democratico; so di essere fuori moda nel mondo moderno.

… . .

Mentre guardavo quel palazzo di meraviglie pigmee, gli omnibus verdi, gli elefanti blu, le bambole nere e le arche di Noè rosse, devo essere caduto in una specie di trance innaturale. Quella vetrina illuminata divenne come il palcoscenico brillantemente illuminato quando si sta guardando una commedia dai colori vivaci. Dimenticai le case grigie e la gente sudicia alle mie spalle, così come si dimenticano i corridoi bui e le folle indistinte in un teatro. Sembrava che gli oggetti dietro il vetro fossero piccoli non perché erano giocattoli, ma perché erano oggetti lontani. L’omnibus verde era davvero un omnibus verde, un omnibus verde di Bayswater, che passava attraverso qualche enorme deserto sulla sua solita strada per Bayswater. L’elefante blu non era più blu di vernice; era blu per la distanza. La bambola nera era davvero un negro in risalto contro il fogliame tropicale appassionato nella terra dove ogni erba è fiammeggiante e solo l’uomo è nero. L’arca di Noè rossa era davvero l’enorme nave della salvezza terrena che naviga sul mare gonfio di pioggia, rossa nella prima mattina di speranza.

Suppongo che tutti conoscano quegli istanti sbalorditivi di astrazione, quelle brillanti lacune nella mente. In tali momenti si può vedere il volto del proprio migliore amico come un insensato disegno di occhiali o baffi. Sono comunemente caratterizzati dai due segni della lentezza della loro crescita e dell’improvvisità della loro fine. Il ritorno al pensiero reale è spesso brusco quanto scontrarsi con una persona. Molto spesso, infatti (nel mio caso), è proprio questo che accade. Ma in ogni caso il risveglio è sempre enfatico e, generalmente parlando, è sempre completo. Ora, in questo caso, sono tornato con uno shock di sanità alla consapevolezza che stavo, dopotutto, solo fissando una squallida bottega di giocattoli; ma per qualche strana ragione la cura mentale non sembrava essere definitiva. C’era ancora nella mia mente qualcosa di incontrollabile che mi diceva che ero incappato in un’atmosfera strana, o che avevo già fatto qualcosa di strano. Mi sentivo come se avessi compiuto un miracolo o commesso un peccato. Era come se fossi comunque passato oltre qualche confine nell’anima.

Per scuotermi da questa sensazione pericolosa e sognante sono entrato nel negozio e ho cercato di comprare dei soldatini di legno. L’uomo del negozio era molto vecchio e malandato, con i capelli bianchi confusi che gli coprivano la testa e metà del viso, capelli così sbalorditivamente bianchi da sembrare quasi artificiali. Eppure, sebbene fosse senile e persino malato, non c’era nulla di sofferenza nei suoi occhi; sembrava piuttosto che stesse gradualmente addormentandosi in un declino non del tutto ostile. Mi ha dato i soldatini di legno, ma quando ho posato il denaro lui all’inizio non sembrava vederlo; poi lo ha fissato debolmente, e poi l’ha spinto debolmente via.

«No, no», disse vagamente. «Non l’ho mai fatto. Non l’ho mai fatto. Qui siamo piuttosto vecchio stile».

«Non prendere denaro», risposi «mi sembra più una moda insolitamente nuova che antica.»

«Non l’ho mai fatto», disse il vecchio, sbattendo le palpebre e soffiandosi il naso, «Ho sempre dato regali. Sono troppo vecchio per smettere».

«Buon Dio!» dissi «Cosa vuoi dire? Ma potresti essere Babbo Natale».

«Sono Babbo Natale», disse scusandosi e si soffiò di nuovo il naso.

Le lampade non potevano essere ancora accese nella strada esterna. In ogni caso, non riuscivo a vedere nulla contro l’oscurità se non la vetrina luminosa. Non c’erano suoni di passi o voci per la strada; avrei potuto vagare in un mondo nuovo e senza sole. Ma qualcosa aveva reciso i legami del senso comune, e non potevo provare nemmeno sorpresa se non con sonnolenza. Qualcosa mi fece dire: “Sembri malato, Babbo Natale.”

«Sto morendo», disse.

Non parlai e fu lui a riprendere la parola.

“Tutte le nuove persone hanno lasciato il mio negozio. Non riesco a capirlo. Sembra che questi scienziati e innovatori abbiano delle obiezioni nei miei confronti su basi così curiose e inconsistenti. Dicono che io dia alle persone superstizioni e le renda troppo visionarie; dicono che io dia loro salsicce e le renda troppo volgari. Dicono che le mie parti celesti sono troppo celesti; dicono che le mie parti terrene sono troppo terrene; non so cosa vogliono, di sicuro. Come possono le cose celesti essere troppo celesti o quelle terrene troppo terrene? Come si può essere troppo buoni o troppo allegri? Non capisco. Ma capisco una cosa abbastanza bene. Queste persone moderne sono vive e io sono morto.”

“Sarai anche morto,” risposi. “Dovresti saperlo tu. Ma quanto a ciò che fanno loro, non chiamarlo vivere.”

… . .

Cadde improvvisamente tra noi un silenzio che io in qualche modo mi aspettavo non sarebbe stato interrotto. Ma non era durato più di pochi secondi quando, nel completo silenzio, udii distintamente dei passi molto rapidi avvicinarsi lungo la strada. Un attimo dopo una figura si gettò dentro il negozio e rimase inquadrata nell’ingresso. Indossava un grande cappello bianco inclinato all’indietro come per impazienza; aveva stretti pantaloni neri vecchio stile, una cravatta vistosa di vecchio gusto e un panciotto, oltre a un fantastico abito d’altri tempi. Aveva grandi occhi spalancati e luminosi come quelli di un attore che colpisce l’attenzione; aveva un viso pallido ed esitante e una frangia di barba. Diede uno sguardo al negozio e al vecchio che sembrò letteralmente un lampo, e pronunciò un’esclamazione da uomo completamente sbigottito.

“Santo cielo!” gridò; “non può essere lei! Non è lei! Ero venuto a chiedere dov’era la sua tomba.”

“Non sono ancora morto, signor Dickens,” disse il vecchio gentiluomo, con un debole sorriso; “ma sto morendo,” si affrettò ad aggiungere per rassicurarlo.

“Ma, diamine, lei stava morendo già ai miei tempi,” disse il signor Charles Dickens con vivacità; “e non è invecchiato di un giorno.”

“Mi sento così da molto tempo,” disse Babbo Natale.

Il signor Dickens si voltò e sporse la testa dalla porta nel buio.

“Dick,” ruggì a squarciagola; “è ancora vivo.”

… . .

Un’altra ombra oscurò lo stipite della porta e un gentiluomo molto più grande e vigoroso con una parrucca enorme entrò, agitando il suo viso arrossato con un cappello militare alla moda di regina Anna. Teneva la testa ben ritratta come un soldato, e il suo volto accaldato aveva persino un’aria di arroganza che veniva improvvisamente contraddetta dai suoi occhi, che erano letteralmente umili come quelli di un cane. La sua spada fece molto rumore, come se il negozio fosse troppo piccolo per essa.

“In verità,” disse Sir Richard Steele, “è cosa quanto mai prodigiosa, giacché quell’uomo stava morendo quando scrissi di Sir Roger de Coverley e del suo giorno di Natale.”

I miei sensi si facevano più fiochi e la stanza più buia. Pareva riempirsi di nuovi venuti.

“È sempre stato chiaro,” disse un uomo robusto che portava la testa con umorismo e ostinazione leggermente piegata da una parte - credo fosse Ben Jonson - “è sempre stato chiaro, consule Jacobo, sotto il nostro Re Giacomo e sua defunta Maestà, che tali buone e cordiali usanze erano ammalate e destinate a scomparire dal mondo. Questa barba grigia non era certamente più vigorosa quando la conobbi di quanto lo sia ora.”

E mi parve anche di udire un uomo vestito di verde, come Robin Hood, dire in un francese normanno un po’ confuso: “Ma io vidi quell’uomo morire.”

“Mi sento così da molto tempo,” disse Babbo Natale, di nuovo nel suo modo fievole.

Il signor Charles Dickens d’improvviso si sporse verso di lui.

“Da quando?” chiese. “Da quando è nato?”

“Sì,” disse il vecchio, e sprofondò tremante in una sedia. “Sono sempre stato morente.”

Il signor Dickens si tolse il cappello con un ampio gesto come chi chiama una folla a insorgere.

«Ora capisco», esclamò «non morirai mai».

XXXVIII

The Ballade of a Strange Town

My friend and I, in fooling about Flanders, fell into a fixed affection for the town of Mechlin or Malines. Our rest there was so restful that we almost felt it as a home, and hardly strayed out of it.

We sat day after day in the market-place, under little trees growing in wooden tubs, and looked up at the noble converging lines of the Cathedral tower, from which the three riders from Ghent, in the poem, heard the bell which told them they were not too late. But we took as much pleasure in the people, in the little boys with open, flat Flemish faces and fur collars round their necks, making them look like burgomasters; or the women, whose prim, oval faces, hair strained tightly off the temples, and mouths at once hard, meek, and humorous, exactly reproduced the late mediaeval faces in Memling and Van Eyck.

But one afternoon, as it happened, my friend rose from under his little tree, and pointing to a sort of toy train that was puffing smoke in one corner of the clear square, suggested that we should go by it. We got into the little train, which was meant really to take the peasants and their vegetables to and fro from their fields beyond the town, and the official came round to give us tickets. We asked him what place we should get to if we paid fivepence. The Belgians are not a romantic people, and he asked us (with a lamentable mixture of Flemish coarseness and French rationalism) where we wanted to go.

We explained that we wanted to go to fairyland, and the only question was whether we could get there for fivepence. At last, after a great deal of international misunderstanding (for he spoke French in the Flemish and we in the English manner), he told us that fivepence would take us to a place which I have never seen written down, but which when spoken sounded like the word “Waterloo” pronounced by an intoxicated patriot; I think it was Waerlowe.

We clasped our hands and said it was the place we had been seeking from boyhood, and when we had got there we descended with promptitude.

For a moment I had a horrible fear that it really was the field of Waterloo; but I was comforted by remembering that it was in quite a different part of Belgium. It was a cross-roads, with one cottage at the corner, a perspective of tall trees like Hobbema’s “Avenue,” and beyond only the infinite flat chess-board of the little fields. It was the scene of peace and prosperity; but I must confess that my friend’s first action was to ask the man when there would be another train back to Mechlin. The man stated that there would be a train back in exactly one hour. We walked up the avenue, and when we were nearly half an hour’s walk away it began to rain.

… . .

We arrived back at the cross-roads sodden and dripping, and, finding the train waiting, climbed into it with some relief. The officer on this train could speak nothing but Flemish, but he understood the name Mechlin, and indicated that when we came to Mechlin Station he would put us down, which, after the right interval of time, he did.

We got down, under a steady downpour, evidently on the edge of Mechlin, though the features could not easily be recognised through the grey screen of the rain. I do not generally agree with those who find rain depressing. A shower-bath is not depressing; it is rather startling. And if it is exciting when a man throws a pail of water over you, why should it not also be exciting when the gods throw many pails? But on this soaking afternoon, whether it was the dull sky-line of the Netherlands or the fact that we were returning home without any adventure, I really did think things a trifle dreary. As soon as we could creep under the shelter of a street we turned into a little café, kept by one woman. She was incredibly old, and she spoke no French. There we drank black coffee and what was called “cognac fine.” “Cognac fine” were the only two French words used in the establishment, and they were not true. At least, the fineness (perhaps by its very ethereal delicacy) escaped me. After a little my friend, who was more restless than I, got up and went out, to see if the rain had stopped and if we could at once stroll back to our hotel by the station. I sat finishing my coffee in a colourless mood, and listening to the unremitting rain.

… . .

Suddenly the door burst open, and my friend appeared, transfigured and frantic.

“Get up!” he cried, waving his hands wildly. “Get up! We’re in the wrong town! We’re not in Mechlin at all. Mechlin is ten miles, twenty miles off—God knows what! We’re somewhere near Antwerp.”

“What!” I cried, leaping from my seat, and sending the furniture flying. “Then all is well, after all! Poetry only hid her face for an instant behind a cloud. Positively for a moment I was feeling depressed because we were in the right town. But if we are in the wrong town—why, we have our adventure after all! If we are in the wrong town, we are in the right place.”

I rushed out into the rain, and my friend followed me somewhat more grimly. We discovered we were in a town called Lierre, which seemed to consist chiefly of bankrupt pastry cooks, who sold lemonade.

“This is the peak of our whole poetic progress!” I cried enthusiastically. “We must do something, something sacramental and commemorative! We cannot sacrifice an ox, and it would be a bore to build a temple. Let us write a poem.”

With but slight encouragement, I took out an old envelope and one of those pencils that turn bright violet in water. There was plenty of water about, and the violet ran down the paper, symbolising the rich purple of that romantic hour. I began, choosing the form of an old French ballade; it is the easiest because it is the most restricted—

“Can Man to Mount Olympus rise, And fancy Primrose Hill the scene? Can a man walk in Paradise And think he is in Turnham Green? And could I take you for Malines, Not knowing the nobler thing you were? O Pearl of all the plain, and queen, The lovely city of Lierre.

“Through memory’s mist in glimmering guise Shall shine your streets of sloppy sheen. And wet shall grow my dreaming eyes, To think how wet my boots have been Now if I die or shoot a Dean----”

Here I broke off to ask my friend whether he thought it expressed a more wild calamity to shoot a Dean or to be a Dean. But he only turned up his coat collar, and I felt that for him the muse had folded her wings. I rewrote—

“Now if I die a Rural Dean, Or rob a bank I do not care, Or turn a Tory. I have seen The lovely city of Lierre.”

“The next line,” I resumed, warming to it; but my friend interrupted me.

“The next line,” he said somewhat harshly, “will be a railway line. We can get back to Mechlin from here, I find, though we have to change twice. I dare say I should think this jolly romantic but for the weather. Adventure is the champagne of life, but I prefer my champagne and my adventures dry. Here is the station.”

… . .

We did not speak again until we had left Lierre, in its sacred cloud of rain, and were coming to Mechlin, under a clearer sky, that even made one think of stars. Then I leant forward and said to my friend in a low voice—“I have found out everything. We have come to the wrong star.”

He stared his query, and I went on eagerly: “That is what makes life at once so splendid and so strange. We are in the wrong world. When I thought that was the right town, it bored me; when I knew it was wrong, I was happy. So the false optimism, the modern happiness, tires us because it tells us we fit into this world. The true happiness is that we don’t fit. We come from somewhere else. We have lost our way.”

He silently nodded, staring out of the window, but whether I had impressed or only fatigued him I could not tell. “This,” I added, “is suggested in the last verse of a fine poem you have grossly neglected—

“‘Happy is he and more than wise Who sees with wondering eyes and clean The world through all the grey disguise Of sleep and custom in between. Yes; we may pass the heavenly screen, But shall we know when we are there? Who know not what these dead stones mean, The lovely city of Lierre.’”

Here the train stopped abruptly. And from Mechlin church steeple we heard the half-chime: and Joris broke silence with “No bally HORS D’OEUVRES for me: I shall get on to something solid at once.”

L’Envoy

Prince, wide your Empire spreads, I ween, Yet happier is that moistened Mayor, Who drinks her cognac far from fine, The lovely city of Lierre.

XXXVIII

La ballata di una strana città

Il mio amico ed io, gironzolando per le Fiandre, ci affezionammo saldamente alla città di Mechlin, o Malines. Il nostro riposo lì fu così riposante che quasi la sentimmo come una casa, e a malapena ce ne allontanammo.

Sedevamo giorno dopo giorno nella piazza del mercato, sotto piccoli alberi che crescevano in tinozze di legno, e alzavamo lo sguardo verso le nobili linee convergenti della torre della Cattedrale, dalla quale i tre cavalieri di Gand, nel poema, udirono la campana che diceva loro che non erano giunti troppo tardi. Ma traevamo altrettanto piacere dalla gente, dai bambini dai volti fiamminghi aperti e piatti e dai colletti di pelliccia attorno al collo, che li facevano sembrare borgomastri; o dalle donne, i cui volti compassati e ovali, i capelli tirati stretti sulle tempie, e le bocche a un tempo dure, miti e argute, riproducevano esattamente i volti tardo-medievali di Memling e Van Eyck.

Ma un pomeriggio, per caso, il mio amico si levò da sotto il suo alberello, e indicando una sorta di trenino giocattolo che sbuffava fumo in un angolo della piazza luminosa, propose che ci salissimo. Salimmo sul trenino, che in realtà era destinato a portare i contadini e i loro ortaggi avanti e indietro dai campi oltre la città, e il funzionario venne a darci i biglietti. Gli chiedemmo a quale luogo saremmo arrivati pagando cinque penny. I Belgi non sono un popolo romantico, ed egli ci chiese (con una deplorevole mescolanza di rozzezza fiamminga e razionalismo francese) dove volevamo andare.

Spiegammo che volevamo andare nel paese delle fate, e l’unica questione era se potessimo arrivarci per cinque penny. Alla fine, dopo un gran numero di malintesi internazionali (poiché egli parlava il francese alla maniera fiamminga e noi a quella inglese), ci disse che cinque penny ci avrebbero portato in un luogo che non ho mai visto scritto, ma che, pronunciato, suonava come la parola «Waterloo» detta da un patriota ubriaco; credo fosse Waerlowe.

Ci stringemmo le mani e dicemmo che era il luogo che cercavamo fin dalla fanciullezza, e quando vi fummo giunti scendemmo con prontezza.

Per un istante ebbi l’orribile paura che fosse davvero il campo di Waterloo; ma mi consolai ricordando che si trovava in una parte del Belgio ben diversa. Era un crocevia, con un solo casolare all’angolo, una prospettiva di alti alberi come l’«Avenue» di Hobbema, e oltre soltanto l’infinita scacchiera piatta dei piccoli campi. Era la scena della pace e della prosperità; ma devo confessare che la prima azione del mio amico fu chiedere all’uomo quando ci sarebbe stato un altro treno di ritorno per Mechlin. L’uomo dichiarò che ci sarebbe stato un treno di ritorno esattamente tra un’ora. Risalimmo il viale, e quando eravamo a quasi mezz’ora di cammino cominciò a piovere.

… . .

Tornammo al crocevia fradici e grondanti, e, trovando il treno in attesa, vi salimmo con un certo sollievo. Il funzionario su questo treno non sapeva parlare altro che fiammingo, ma comprese il nome Mechlin, e fece intendere che quando fossimo giunti alla stazione di Mechlin ci avrebbe fatti scendere, cosa che, dopo il giusto intervallo di tempo, fece.

Scendemmo, sotto un acquazzone incessante, evidentemente ai margini di Mechlin, benché i tratti non si potessero riconoscere facilmente attraverso il grigio schermo della pioggia. In genere non concordo con chi trova la pioggia deprimente. Una doccia non è deprimente; è piuttosto sorprendente. E se è eccitante quando un uomo ti rovescia addosso un secchio d’acqua, perché non dovrebbe essere eccitante anche quando gli dèi rovesciano molti secchi? Ma in quel pomeriggio inzuppato, fosse la scialba linea del cielo dei Paesi Bassi o il fatto che tornavamo a casa senza alcuna avventura, trovai davvero le cose un tantino tetre. Appena potemmo rannicchiarci al riparo di una via, entrammo in un piccolo caffè, tenuto da una sola donna. Era incredibilmente vecchia, e non parlava francese. Là bevemmo caffè nero e ciò che veniva chiamato «cognac fine». «Cognac fine» erano le uniche due parole francesi usate nel locale, e non erano vere. Per lo meno, la finezza (forse per la sua stessa eterea delicatezza) mi sfuggì. Dopo un po’ il mio amico, che era più irrequieto di me, si alzò e uscì, per vedere se la pioggia fosse cessata e se potessimo subito tornare a passeggio al nostro albergo presso la stazione. Rimasi seduto a finire il mio caffè in uno stato d’animo incolore, ascoltando la pioggia incessante.

… . .

All’improvviso la porta si spalancò, e il mio amico apparve, trasfigurato e frenetico.

«Alzati!» gridò, agitando forsennatamente le mani. «Alzati! Siamo nella città sbagliata! Non siamo affatto a Mechlin. Mechlin è a dieci miglia, venti miglia di distanza… Dio sa quanto! Siamo da qualche parte vicino ad Anversa.»

«Cosa!» gridai, balzando dal mio posto e mandando all’aria i mobili. «Allora, dopo tutto, tutto va bene! La poesia ha soltanto nascosto il suo volto per un istante dietro una nuvola. Positivamente per un momento mi ero sentito depresso perché eravamo nella città giusta. Ma se siamo nella città sbagliata… ebbene, dopo tutto la nostra avventura ce l’abbiamo! Se siamo nella città sbagliata, siamo nel posto giusto.»

Mi precipitai fuori nella pioggia, e il mio amico mi seguì un po’ più cupamente. Scoprimmo di trovarci in una città chiamata Lierre, che sembrava consistere principalmente di pasticceri falliti, i quali vendevano limonata.

«Questo è l’apice di tutto il nostro cammino poetico!» gridai con entusiasmo. «Dobbiamo fare qualcosa, qualcosa di sacramentale e commemorativo! Non possiamo sacrificare un bue, e sarebbe una noia costruire un tempio. Scriviamo una poesia.»

Con un incoraggiamento appena accennato, tirai fuori una vecchia busta e una di quelle matite che diventano di un vivo violetto nell’acqua. C’era acqua in abbondanza intorno, e il violetto colava lungo la carta, simboleggiando il ricco porpora di quell’ora romantica. Cominciai, scegliendo la forma di un’antica ballata francese; è la più facile perché è la più vincolata…

«Può l’Uomo salire al Monte Olimpo, e credere che la scena sia Primrose Hill? Può un uomo passeggiare in Paradiso e pensare di trovarsi a Turnham Green? E potrei io scambiarti per Malines, ignorando la cosa più nobile che eri? O Perla di tutta la piana, e Regina, la leggiadra Città di Lierre.

«Attraverso la nebbia della Memoria, in luccicante sembianza, splenderanno le tue vie dal lucore fangoso. E umidi si faranno i miei occhi sognanti, al pensiero di quanto umidi siano stati i miei stivali. Or se morrò o abbatterò un Decano——

Qui mi interruppi per chiedere al mio amico se pensasse che esprimesse una più selvaggia calamità abbattere un Decano o essere un Decano. Ma egli si limitò a rialzare il bavero del cappotto, e sentii che per lui la musa aveva ripiegato le ali. Riscrissi…

«Or se morrò da Decano rurale, o rapinerò una banca, non m’importa, o mi farò Tory. Ho veduto la leggiadra Città di Lierre.»

«Il verso seguente,» ripresi, scaldandomi al tema; ma il mio amico mi interruppe.

«Il verso seguente,» disse alquanto aspramente, «sarà una linea ferroviaria. Da qui possiamo tornare a Mechlin, ho scoperto, benché si debba cambiare due volte. Oserei dire che troverei tutto ciò assai romantico, se non fosse per il tempo. L’avventura è lo champagne della vita, ma preferisco il mio champagne e le mie avventure secchi. Ecco la stazione.»

… . .

Non parlammo più finché non avemmo lasciato Lierre, nella sua sacra nube di pioggia, e ci avvicinavamo a Mechlin, sotto un cielo più limpido, che faceva perfino pensare alle stelle. Allora mi sporsi in avanti e dissi al mio amico a bassa voce: «Ho scoperto tutto. Siamo giunti alla stella sbagliata.»

Egli mi fissò con la sua muta domanda, e io proseguii con foga: «È questo che rende la vita a un tempo così splendida e così strana. Siamo nel mondo sbagliato. Quando pensavo che quella fosse la città giusta, mi annoiava; quando seppi che era sbagliata, fui felice. Così il falso ottimismo, la felicità moderna, ci stanca perché ci dice che ci adattiamo a questo mondo. La vera felicità è che non ci adattiamo. Veniamo da qualche altro luogo. Abbiamo smarrito la via.»

Annuì in silenzio, fissando fuori dalla finestra, ma se lo avessi colpito o soltanto stancato non saprei dire. «Questo,» aggiunsi, «è suggerito nell’ultima strofa di una bella poesia che hai grossolanamente trascurato…

««Felice è colui, e più che saggio, che vede con occhi meravigliati e puri il mondo attraverso tutto il grigio travestimento del Sonno e dell’abitudine frapposti. Sì; possiamo varcare il velo celeste, ma sapremo di essere là? Noi che non sappiamo cosa significhino queste pietre morte, la leggiadra Città di Lierre.»»

Qui il treno si fermò di colpo. E dal campanile della chiesa di Mechlin udimmo il mezzo rintocco: e Joris ruppe il silenzio con: «Niente maledetti HORS D’OEUVRES per me: passerò subito a qualcosa di solido.»

L’Envoy

Principe, ampio si stende il tuo Impero, io credo, eppur più felice è quel Sindaco inzuppato, che beve il suo cognac tutt’altro che fine, la leggiadra Città di Lierre.

XXXIX

The Mystery of a Pageant

Once upon a time, it seems centuries ago, I was prevailed on to take a small part in one of those historical processions or pageants which happened to be fashionable in or about the year 1909. And since I tend, like all who are growing old, to re-enter the remote past as a paradise or playground, I disinter a memory which may serve to stand among those memories of small but strange incidents with which I have sometimes filled this column. The thing has really some of the dark qualities of a detective-story; though I suppose that Sherlock Holmes himself could hardly unravel it now, when the scent is so old and cold and most of the actors, doubtless, long dead.

This old pageant included a series of figures from the eighteenth century, and I was told that I was just like Dr. Johnson. Seeing that Dr. Johnson was heavily seamed with small-pox, had a waistcoat all over gravy, snorted and rolled as he walked, and was probably the ugliest man in London, I mention this identification as a fact and not as a vaunt. I had nothing to do with the arrangement; and such fleeting suggestions as I made were not taken so seriously as they might have been. I requested that a row of posts be erected across the lawn, so that I might touch all of them but one, and then go back and touch that. Failing this, I felt that the least they could do was to have twenty-five cups of tea stationed at regular intervals along the course, each held by a Mrs. Thrale in full costume. My best constructive suggestion was the most harshly rejected of all. In front of me in the procession walked the great Bishop Berkeley, the man who turned the tables on the early materialists by maintaining that matter itself possibly does not exist. Dr. Johnson, you will remember, did not like such bottomless fancies as Berkeley’s, and kicked a stone with his foot, saying, “I refute him so!” Now (as I pointed out) kicking a stone would not make the metaphysical quarrel quite clear; besides, it would hurt. But how picturesque and perfect it would be if I moved across the ground in the symbolic attitude of kicking Bishop Berkeley! How complete an allegoric group; the great transcendentalist walking with his head among the stars, but behind him the avenging realist pede claudo, with uplifted foot. But I must not take up space with these forgotten frivolities; we old men grow too garrulous in talking of the distant past.

This story scarcely concerns me either in my real or my assumed character. Suffice it to say that the procession took place at night in a large garden and by torchlight (so remote is the date), that the garden was crowded with Puritans, monks, and men-at-arms, and especially with early Celtic saints smoking pipes, and with elegant Renaissance gentlemen talking Cockney. Suffice it to say, or rather it is needless to say, that I got lost. I wandered away into some dim corner of that dim shrubbery, where there was nothing to do except tumbling over tent ropes, and I began almost to feel like my prototype, and to share his horror of solitude and hatred of a country life.

In this detachment and dilemma I saw another man in a white wig advancing across this forsaken stretch of lawn; a tall, lean man, who stooped in his long black robes like a stooping eagle. When I thought he would pass me, he stopped before my face, and said, “Dr. Johnson, I think. I am Paley.”

“Sir,” I said, “you used to guide men to the beginnings of Christianity. If you can guide me now to wherever this infernal thing begins you will perform a yet higher and harder function.”

His costume and style were so perfect that for the instant I really thought he was a ghost. He took no notice of my flippancy, but, turning his black-robed back on me, led me through verdurous glooms and winding mossy ways, until we came out into the glare of gaslight and laughing men in masquerade, and I could easily laugh at myself.

And there, you will say, was an end of the matter. I am (you will say) naturally obtuse, cowardly, and mentally deficient. I was, moreover, unused to pageants; I felt frightened in the dark and took a man for a spectre whom, in the light, I could recognise as a modern gentleman in a masquerade dress. No; far from it. That spectral person was my first introduction to a special incident which has never been explained and which still lays its finger on my nerve.

I mixed with the men of the eighteenth century; and we fooled as one does at a fancy-dress ball. There was Burke as large as life and a great deal better looking. There was Cowper much larger than life; he ought to have been a little man in a night-cap, with a cat under one arm and a spaniel under the other. As it was, he was a magnificent person, and looked more like the Master of Ballantrae than Cowper. I persuaded him at last to the night-cap, but never, alas, to the cat and dog. When I came the next night Burke was still the same beautiful improvement upon himself; Cowper was still weeping for his dog and cat and would not be comforted; Bishop Berkeley was still waiting to be kicked in the interests of philosophy. In short, I met all my old friends but one. Where was Paley? I had been mystically moved by the man’s presence; I was moved more by his absence. At last I saw advancing towards us across the twilight garden a little man with a large book and a bright attractive face. When he came near enough he said, in a small, clear voice, “I’m Paley.” The thing was quite natural, of course; the man was ill and had sent a substitute. Yet somehow the contrast was a shock.

By the next night I had grown quite friendly with my four or five colleagues; I had discovered what is called a mutual friend with Berkeley and several points of difference with Burke. Cowper, I think it was, who introduced me to a friend of his, a fresh face, square and sturdy, framed in a white wig. “This,” he explained, “is my friend So-and-So. He’s Paley.” I looked round at all the faces by this time fixed and familiar; I studied them; I counted them; then I bowed to the third Paley as one bows to necessity. So far the thing was all within the limits of coincidence. It certainly seemed odd that this one particular cleric should be so varying and elusive. It was singular that Paley, alone among men, should swell and shrink and alter like a phantom, while all else remained solid. But the thing was explicable; two men had been ill and there was an end of it; only I went again the next night, and a clear-coloured elegant youth with powdered hair bounded up to me, and told me with boyish excitement that he was Paley.

For the next twenty-four hours I remained in the mental condition of the modern world. I mean the condition in which all natural explanations have broken down and no supernatural explanation has been established. My bewilderment had reached to boredom when I found myself once more in the colour and clatter of the pageant, and I was all the more pleased because I met an old school-fellow, and we mutually recognised each other under our heavy clothes and hoary wigs. We talked about all those great things for which literature is too small and only life large enough; red-hot memories and those gigantic details which make up the characters of men. I heard all about the friends he had lost sight of and those he had kept in sight; I heard about his profession, and asked at last how he came into the pageant.

“The fact is,” he said, “a friend of mine asked me, just for to-night, to act a chap called Paley; I don’t know who he was… .”

“No, by thunder!” I said, “nor does anyone.”

This was the last blow, and the next night passed like a dream. I scarcely noticed the slender, sprightly, and entirely new figure which fell into the ranks in the place of Paley, so many times deceased. What could it mean? Why was the giddy Paley unfaithful among the faithful found? Did these perpetual changes prove the popularity or the unpopularity of being Paley? Was it that no human being could support being Paley for one night and live till morning? Or was it that the gates were crowded with eager throngs of the British public thirsting to be Paley, who could only be let in one at a time? Or is there some ancient vendetta against Paley? Does some secret society of Deists still assassinate any one who adopts the name?

I cannot conjecture further about this true tale of mystery; and that for two reasons. First, the story is so true that I have had to put a lie into it. Every word of this narrative is veracious, except the one word Paley. And second, because I have got to go into the next room and dress up as Dr. Johnson.

The End

XXXIX

Il mistero di un corteo storico

C’era una volta, pare secoli or sono, in cui fui persuaso a prendere una piccola parte in una di quelle processioni o cortei storici che erano di moda intorno all’anno 1909. E poiché tendo, come tutti coloro che invecchiano, a rientrare nel passato remoto come in un paradiso o in un luogo di giochi, dissotterro un ricordo che potrà stare tra quei ricordi di piccoli ma strani incidenti con cui ho talvolta riempito questa rubrica. La cosa possiede davvero alcune delle oscure qualità di un racconto poliziesco; benché suppongo che Sherlock Holmes in persona difficilmente riuscirebbe a dipanarla ormai, ora che la traccia è così vecchia e fredda e la maggior parte degli attori, senza dubbio, morti da tempo.

Questo vecchio corteo comprendeva una serie di figure del diciottesimo secolo, e mi fu detto che ero tale e quale al dottor Johnson. Considerato che il dottor Johnson era pesantemente butterato dal vaiolo, aveva un panciotto tutto imbrattato di sugo, sbuffava e ondeggiava mentre camminava, ed era probabilmente l’uomo più brutto di Londra, riferisco questa identificazione come un fatto e non come un vanto. Non ebbi nulla a che fare con l’allestimento; e le fugaci proposte che avanzai non furono prese tanto sul serio quanto avrebbero potuto essere. Chiesi che venisse eretta una fila di pali attraverso il prato, in modo che potessi toccarli tutti tranne uno, e poi tornare indietro a toccare quello. In mancanza di ciò, sentivo che il minimo che potessero fare era disporre venticinque tazze di tè a intervalli regolari lungo il percorso, ciascuna tenuta da una signora Thrale in costume completo. La mia migliore proposta costruttiva fu la più aspramente respinta di tutte. Davanti a me nella processione camminava il grande vescovo Berkeley, l’uomo che rovesciò le sorti dei primi materialisti sostenendo che la materia stessa forse non esiste. Il dottor Johnson, ricorderete, non amava fantasie così senza fondo come quelle di Berkeley, e diede un calcio a una pietra col piede, dicendo: «Così lo confuto!» Ora (come feci notare) dare un calcio a una pietra non renderebbe affatto chiara la disputa metafisica; per giunta, farebbe male. Ma quanto sarebbe pittoresco e perfetto se mi muovessi attraverso il terreno nell’atteggiamento simbolico di dare un calcio al vescovo Berkeley! Quale compiuto gruppo allegorico; il grande trascendentalista che cammina con la testa fra le stelle, ma dietro di lui il realista vendicatore pede claudo, col piede sollevato. Ma non devo occupare spazio con queste dimenticate frivolezze; noi vecchi diventiamo troppo ciarlieri nel parlare del passato lontano.

Questa storia mi riguarda a stento, sia nel mio carattere reale sia in quello assunto. Basti dire che la processione ebbe luogo di notte in un ampio giardino e alla luce delle torce (tanto è remota la data), che il giardino era affollato di Puritani, monaci e uomini d’arme, e specialmente di antichi santi celtici che fumavano la pipa, e di eleganti gentiluomini del Rinascimento che parlavano in dialetto cockney. Basti dire, o piuttosto è superfluo dire, che mi persi. Vagai fino a qualche angolo buio di quella buia macchia di arbusti, dove non c’era nulla da fare tranne inciampare nelle corde delle tende, e cominciai quasi a sentirmi come il mio prototipo, e a condividere il suo orrore della solitudine e l’odio per la vita di campagna.

In questo distacco e in questo dilemma vidi un altro uomo con una parrucca bianca avanzare attraverso quel deserto tratto di prato; un uomo alto, magro, che si curvava nelle sue lunghe vesti nere come un’aquila curva. Quando pensai che mi sarebbe passato accanto, si fermò davanti al mio volto e disse: «Il dottor Johnson, presumo. Io sono Paley.»

«Signore» dissi, «voi eravate solito guidare gli uomini alle origini del Cristianesimo. Se ora potete guidarmi ovunque cominci questa faccenda infernale, adempirete a una funzione ancor più alta e più ardua.»

Il suo costume e il suo portamento erano così perfetti che per un istante credetti davvero fosse un fantasma. Non prestò alcuna attenzione alla mia leggerezza ma, voltandomi la schiena nera-vestita, mi condusse attraverso verdeggianti tenebre e tortuosi sentieri muscosi, finché sbucammo nel bagliore della luce a gas e degli uomini ridenti in maschera, e potei facilmente ridere di me stesso.

E lì, direte, finiva la faccenda. Io sono (direte voi) per natura ottuso, codardo e mentalmente deficiente. Ero, per di più, poco avvezzo ai cortei; mi sentii spaventato nel buio e presi per uno spettro un uomo che, alla luce, avrei potuto riconoscere come un moderno gentiluomo in costume da mascherata. No; tutt’altro. Quella persona spettrale fu la mia prima introduzione a uno speciale incidente che non è mai stato spiegato e che tuttora posa il suo dito sul mio nervo.

Mi mescolai agli uomini del diciottesimo secolo; e ci divertimmo come si fa a un ballo in maschera. C’era Burke grande al naturale e ben più avvenente. C’era Cowper assai più grande del naturale; avrebbe dovuto essere un ometto con una cuffia da notte, con un gatto sotto un braccio e uno spaniel sotto l’altro. Così com’era, egli era un personaggio magnifico, e somigliava più al Signore di Ballantrae che a Cowper. Alla fine lo persuasi alla cuffia da notte, ma mai, ahimè, al gatto e al cane. Quando venni la notte successiva, Burke era ancora lo stesso bel miglioramento di se stesso; Cowper piangeva ancora per il suo cane e il suo gatto e non voleva darsi pace; il vescovo Berkeley aspettava ancora di ricevere un calcio nell’interesse della filosofia. Insomma, incontrai tutti i miei vecchi amici tranne uno. Dov’era Paley? Ero stato misticamente turbato dalla presenza di quell’uomo; fui turbato di più dalla sua assenza. Alla fine vidi avanzare verso di noi attraverso il giardino crepuscolare un ometto con un grosso libro e un volto luminoso e attraente. Quando fu abbastanza vicino disse, con voce sottile e chiara: «Sono Paley.» La cosa era del tutto naturale, s’intende; l’uomo era malato e aveva mandato un sostituto. Eppure in qualche modo il contrasto fu un colpo.

Entro la notte successiva ero diventato piuttosto amico dei miei quattro o cinque colleghi; avevo scoperto quello che si chiama un amico comune con Berkeley e diversi punti di disaccordo con Burke. Fu Cowper, credo, a presentarmi un suo amico, un volto fresco, squadrato e robusto, incorniciato in una parrucca bianca. «Questo» spiegò, «è il mio amico Tal-dei-Tali. Lui è Paley.» Mi guardai attorno a tutti i volti, ormai a questo punto fissi e familiari; li studiai; li contai; poi m’inchinai al terzo Paley come ci si inchina alla necessità. Fin lì la cosa rientrava tutta nei limiti della coincidenza. Sembrava certo strano che proprio questo particolare ecclesiastico fosse così mutevole e sfuggente. Era singolare che Paley, solo fra tutti gli uomini, si gonfiasse e si restringesse e mutasse come un spettro, mentre tutto il resto rimaneva solido. Ma la cosa era spiegabile; due uomini erano stati malati e non se ne parlava più; se non che andai di nuovo la notte successiva, e un giovane elegante dai colori vivi e dai capelli incipriati mi balzò incontro, e mi disse con giovanile eccitazione che egli era Paley.

Per le ventiquattro ore successive rimasi nella condizione mentale del mondo moderno. Intendo la condizione in cui tutte le spiegazioni naturali sono crollate e nessuna spiegazione soprannaturale è stata stabilita. Il mio sconcerto aveva raggiunto la noia quando mi ritrovai ancora una volta nel colore e nel frastuono del corteo, e fui tanto più contento perché incontrai un vecchio compagno di scuola, e ci riconoscemmo a vicenda sotto i nostri pesanti abiti e le canute parrucche. Parlammo di tutte quelle grandi cose per le quali la letteratura è troppo piccola e solo la vita abbastanza grande; ricordi arroventati e quei giganteschi dettagli che compongono i caratteri degli uomini. Sentii tutto degli amici che aveva perso di vista e di quelli che aveva tenuto d’occhio; sentii della sua professione, e chiesi infine come fosse entrato nel corteo.

«Il fatto è» disse, «che un mio amico mi ha chiesto, solo per stanotte, di recitare un tale chiamato Paley; non so chi fosse…»

«No, per mille tuoni!» dissi io, «né lo sa nessuno.»

Questo fu l’ultimo colpo, e la notte successiva passò come un sogno. A stento notai la figura snella, vivace e del tutto nuova che entrò nei ranghi al posto di Paley, così tante volte defunto. Che cosa poteva significare? Perché lo stordito Paley era infedele fra i fedeli trovati? Provavano questi continui cambiamenti la popolarità o l’impopolarità dell’essere Paley? Era forse che nessun essere umano poteva sopportare di essere Paley per una notte e sopravvivere fino al mattino? O era forse che i cancelli erano affollati da ansiose calche del pubblico britannico assetato di essere Paley, che potevano essere fatti entrare uno alla volta soltanto? O esiste qualche antica vendetta contro Paley? Qualche società segreta di Deisti assassina ancora chiunque adotti quel nome?

Non posso avanzare ulteriori congetture su questo verace racconto di mistero; e ciò per due ragioni. Primo, la storia è così vera che ho dovuto infilarvi una menzogna. Ogni parola di questa narrazione è veritiera, tranne l’unica parola Paley. E secondo, perché devo andare nella stanza accanto e vestirmi da dottor Johnson.

Fine